FicWad

I'm Not Good With Rejection.


"Come on!" Pete had said when he tried to convince me that this was all that I need. A one night stand. Something to help me get over Kate. "No." I tried, and had been trying for hours at that point. Not that it made a difference because by this point Pete had distracted me to the car. We were driving to some night club in the city. "We'll find you like a groupie or something." He said, but I didn't want a groupie. I hate groupies. But I didn't argue. I had learned after years of being friends with Pete that once he made up his mind there were no buts.

I sat at a table in the corner where Pete had told me to sit while he went to get us a beer, which was about an hour ago. I sat watching the young girls. I studied the way they laughed at everything, the way their faces shined under the heavy coat of makeup. I watched as they danced in raunchy movements, trying to sell some sad form of girl on girl. I looked around. 'Maybe I should just go home.' I thought. Suddenly a girl in her late teens or early twenties if she was lucky swished by my table. While passing another girl knocked her into me. "Watch where you're going bitch!" The girl who pushed her whined before walking off. "I'm so sorry!" She said in an embarrassed whisper. "It's okay." I said still holding her up. She looked up at me. She wore nothing but a thin layer of black eyeliner . She straightened out her petite form and smoothed out her blue plaid flannel shirt. She looked up again. "Sorry." She apologized again. "It's fine." I said adjusting my black fedora nervously. We were silent just looking at each other. "Um... wanna s-sit down?" I stuttered. She smiled softly. "Okay." She sat down in front of me. She pushed her thick black framed glasses up on her nose. She looked down. "I-I'm Patrick." I said, she smiled. "I'm Bea, very nice to meet you." she said politely but with a quiet shyness. I watched as she listened carefully to the music. "Everybody's gotta learn sometime." She sang along with Beck quietly. I smiled. "I love this song." She said looking up at me from under her lashes. Her big brown eyes sparkled. I had to catch my breath. She was so pretty. I was practically in shock. In that moment I became more nervous. I wasn't very good at the whole asking people out thing. She watched me still looking up through slightly squinted eyes. "You're that guy... from that band. Um... Fall Out Boy right?" She asked tilting her head slightly. 'crap.' I thought. Oh well it's not like I was gonna be able to hide it right? I smiled. "Cool." she said indifferent before looking around the club. I was shocked. It sounded almost like she didn't care... She didn't care? "Um..." I started. "That's not why I'm here if that's what you're gonna ask." She rolled her eyes smirking slightly. I laughed. "Me Neither." I said. She laughed a soft sound like a wave hitting the water. "Well, I would imagine you would be you at home." She smiled. "Yeah, one would assume." I smiled back. The truth was that I wasn't quite sure which me was me. I had the me that the public sees. I mean I try really hard not to put on an act but it's almost like a protective coating. So no matter how hard I try there is always a fake me and a real me but I'm not really sure which is which. I want to be more out going... I really do. If I was maybe my next question wouldn't be so hard to ask. "Um... Do you... I mean... Will you..." I tried to say. She raised an eyebrow. "Um... Have dinner... With me?" I finally asked looking down. 'Please don't say no. Please don't say no.' I chanted inside my head and bit my lip nervously. She put her hand on mine I stole a quick glance at her face she looked sorta sympathetic. 'Oh no.' I thought. "I'm not good with rejection either. Let's go." She said. I looked back up and smiled widely. 'She gets me.'



Days later the darkness has consumed my bedroom as she lays in my arms, clad in a ripped David Bowie tank top and black panties. No thongs here. I love that. She's natural. Not caring about stupid things like VPL's. She sighs a kiss planted on my shoulder. "Thank you." I say. She raises her head and looks in my eyes. "For what?" She asks. "For being real... And for being wonderful." I say smiling. She kisses my lips. "Thank you, for being you... You're so great, and I'm so happy." She sighs laying back down. I frown a little. I'm still amazed that I could find someone like her. She values me. For once someone values me. I don't even think Kate ever really did. I look down at us. Bea looks so small in my chubby arms. I frown deeper. As if sensing my self consciousness she kisses my stomach and my chest. She looks up into my eyes again. "Patrick, you're so beautiful." She says. I feel an emerse emotion wash over me. I close my eyes and bask in the feeling. "Bea?" I whisper. "Yeah?" she asks. I hesitate for a moment becoming nervous again. I close my eyes. "Is it too early to say how much I love you?" I ask quietly. She kisses me again softly. "If it is then we have some time to kill." She giggles. "Patrick?" She asks suddenly serious again. I open my eyes still a little confused by her last statement. "Yeah?" I say. She smiled lightly. "I love you too." She says. A kiss goodnight, a moment of love at first sight, a girl who values me, a girl who finds me beautiful. This is a first and maybe hopefully someday a last.


AN: Hey guys hope you enjoyed the meaning less fluff. Look out for my other stuff that I will post soon hopefully... When I can untangle my brain cells and you know... Type it up. TTFN! ~ Bea!