FicWad

Patrick had fallen into the best sleep that he'd had since Heather had cheated on him. It was wonderful, peaceful, and filled with dreams. That is, until...

"Patrick!" Someone squealed, jumping on him in bed. His eyes snapped open. "Patty-cake! Wake up! It's me, Teenzy!"

Patrick rolled over and glared at her. "I knew I should've locked my door..." Patrick mumbled.

Now it was Tina's turn to glare. "Fine. I won't make you breakfast!" Tina jumped off the bed and folds her arms.

"...Breakfast?" Patrick asked, licking his lips slightly.

"Yeah. I was going to make you breakfast, but now... Eh, I don't feel like it." Tina nodded her head, looking at her fingers.

"I'm sorry?" Patrick said, cautiously.

"Sorry won't work, Pat." Tina said, smugly and walked out of the room.

"Well, there goes my food..." Patrick scoffed to himself.

"I'm just joking!" Tina popped her head through the doorway and smiled at Patrick. "Come on! I already made it! And Pete wants to talk to you."

Patrick got out of bed and stumbled down the hall, the smell of bacon and eggs filled the house. He sat down at the bar next to Pete and Tina set a plate in front of him. He grabbed a fork and shoveled the food in.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" Patrick said, mouth filled with food.

"Well, talk in an understatement. I wanted to tell you something." Pete said.

"Yeah...?"

"Tina is moving in." Pete said, looking at Patrick.

"So? I don't care." Patrick said.

"Really? Great!" Pete jumped up and walked into the living room where Tina was sitting on the couch watching Joe and Andy fight over who won in the video game they were playing.

"He doesn't care that you're moving in!" Pete said, pulling Tina up and into a hug.

"Oh, Pete I..." Tina stopped, "...Gotta use the bathroom!" Tina pulled away from Pete's hug and ran down the hall.

Pete stood there and smiled. He just smiled. All he could do was smile.

"Morning sickness." Pete smiled.

"What's so great about morning sickness?" Joe asked, turning away from the TV for a slit second then turning back. "Andy you killed me you asshole! CHEATER!"

"It means I'm going to be a dad." Pete said, still fucking smiling.

"I didn't cheat, Joe! You looked away!" Andy yelled, pushing Joe over. Joe pushed Andy and a small sissy fight broke out. Pete walked into the kitchen where Patrick was getting more food and sat down.

"Well, I hope you know I'm not dealing with smelly diapers." Patrick informed Pete.

"Don't worry. You're not even going to touch the baby. He might get relationship problems." Pete chuckled.

"Oh, hardy har har." Patrick bobbed his head from side to side, placing a hand on his hip.

"Ooh, girly." Pete laughed.

Patrick looked at his arm, and took it off his hip. "Shut the fuck up, Pete."

"Peeeter!" Tina came running from the bathroom. "I don't have a t-toothbrush!" Tina cried. Yes, tears where running down her face over a toothbrush. "I left it at my h-house!"

Pete walked over and hugged her, "Don't worry-"

"I have to! I don't have a fucking toothb-brush!" Tina sobbed.

"You can use mine." Pete said, rubbing her back.

"M-mine was teal! I want mine!" Tina stomped her foot.

"It's okay-" Pete tried to get something in.

"No it's not!" Tina stopped him.

"I'll just-" Pete tried.

"You'll just what?" Tina butted in.

"Go and tell-" Pete tried again.

"What, Pete?" Tina butted in again.

Pete walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Tina's head snapped toward Patrick. "You!" She pointed to Patrick.

Patrick pointed to himself and mouthed, "Me?"

"It's your fault for not having extra teal toothbrushes in your house!" Tina yelled.

Pete came back into the room with Joe and Andy. "I told them to get your toothbrush."

"How the fuck do they know where it is?" Tina snapped, turning away from Patrick.

"Isabella will be there." Pete said, pushing the two frightened people out the door. "Your toothbrush is on its way!"

"Now I don't have to brush my teeth." Tina huffed, walking into the living room and sitting on the couch.