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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Dark Warrior

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• The Dark Warrior

  (#) bmatsea 2007-05-17

  Well its okay plot wise, some of your ideas are a little over used in other stories. Your writing not the greatest, you could use a little work on your grammer skills. I recommend getting a prereader to help you out.
  I would volunteer but I can't I just don't have the time.
  I hope that your next chapter is better than this one. Just take your time and do it right. You do show promise.
  I will read your next chapter when I gets out.
  bmat

• The Dark Warrior

  (#) AnnF 2007-05-17

  Spellcheck! Hermione! Not Hermonie...
  
  Also, think about why you are writing this, and what you want to occur. Then you might try to outline or plot out the major points, to help you develop your writing.

• The Dark Warrior

  (#) Dragen 2007-05-18

  Ron the fucking get, wanting money to be friends with him, what an ass. In a way I do understand where Hermonie is coming from, and I hope Harry does too. As Hermonie's parents would remove her from the wizarding world if she stays along with Harry, so as magic is a big part of Hermonie's life, she would do anything to keep it... I do feel sorry for both Hermonie and Harry. I hope in later chapters, Hermonie and Harry gets back together. But for Ron, I hope that Harry kicks his sorry ass to hell.
  
  PLEASE make the chapeters longer.

• The Dark Warrior

  (#) VampNightwalker 2007-05-21

  This chapter makes sense and has a ton of room for improvement. You mentioned 5 letters but only wrote two of them and wrote them poorly at that. The grammer is horrible but at least the spelling is decent. If this is how you are going to write please spare us and don't write anymore until your style improves.

• The Dark Warrior

  (#) VampNightwalker 2007-05-21

  This chapter makes sense and has a ton of room for improvement. You mentioned 5 letters but only wrote two of them and wrote them poorly at that. The grammer is horrible but at least the spelling is decent. If this is how you are going to write please spare us and don't write anymore until your style improves.

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