FicWad

Jade showed up ten minutes later, and took off to his office at a brisk walk.

"How could no one have noticed this right away?" he asked upon finding the other investigators already processing the scene.

"We did the best we could, Jade. Frank had to get some videos from the crime scene from your office, so I gave him a key, and he found this," said Hunter, motioning to the broken window. Jade remained in a state of silent anger. He swiftly turned and walked out of his office, then right back out the front door. He sat on the bench outside, next to Frank, who was smoking a cigarette. Jade noticed his hand shaking.

"Those things'll kill you," he said to the other investigator. Frank jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, not having seen him approach. He merely shrugged and took another drag off the cigarette.

"Why are you out here?" he asked Jade, who was sitting to the right of him. He couldn't see the other investigator due the hair in front of his eyes, but he didn't care.

"I needed some fresh air. You?"

"Same," answered Frank. His voice quavered slightly. He would never forget what had happened the last time a lab had been broken into.

"Something else is wrong," Jade insisted. Frank merely sighed, exhaling a cloud of gray smoke that caused the other investigator to cough slightly.

"I'm not going back in there until they've figured out what happened. This happened to us once...and it didn't end well."

"How so?" Jade asked. Frank turned to face him and pushed the hair away from his face. Jade was shocked at the sight of the scar covering half his face.

"What happened?"

"Chemical bomb. Nitric acid. Landed me in the hospital and damaged my eyesight forever," he said sadly. He took another drag off the cigarette to calm his nerves.

"I'm sorry," Jade said quietly.

"Not your fault. But I'm staying out here where it's safe," Frank said definitively. Jade shrugged.

"Fine, I guess I'll have to process the security camera footage all by myself then," he said with fake sadness, unable to hide a smile. Frank smiled as well.

"Just give me a few minutes. I'll be fine." Jade nodded and left, walking around to the other side of the building where his office was. He glanced at the other investigators through the broken window and waved as if this was an everyday occurrence.

"Anything of interest out there, Jade?" asked Adam. Jade looked around for the security camera.

"Yeah," he said with a frown. "My office is oh-so-conveniently hidden from the camera's view."

"From the outside, maybe," said Hunter. "Remember those new hidden cameras you had installed, though? In all of our offices?" Jade nodded, then smacked himself in the face.

"How could I have forgotten those?"
-
"Any luck, Matt?" Davey asked with a yawn. He didn't appreciate only getting two hours of sleep. Matt smiled and nodded.

"Good news. We should probably tell Way and friends about this. They'll be happy." At that moment Gerard walked into the digital evidence lab.

"Speak of the devil," said Matt.

"I'll ignore that," said Gerard.

"You do that. Anyway, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"I don't care, Matt, as long as you tell me." Davey sighed, feeling like a parent watching over two small children. These guys just couldn't get along.

"Fine. Bad news...the person who stole the evidence was one of the people at our recent crime scene."

"Isn't that good news?" Gerard asked in confusion.

"Depends on your point of view. Good news...we have his face on video."

"I'll take your video and raise you one driver's license," said Gerard with a smirk, holding up a card in a plastic evidence bag. "We have a very careless thief."

Matt frowned. "No more betting for you, Way." Gerard merely laughed, knowing he had won this round.

"So, who wants to do the honors of tracking this person down?" asked Davey, glancing between the two investigators. Matt was about to volunteer when he saw Mikey walking by.

"I nominate him," he said, motioning to the younger Way brother.

"Excuse me?" Mikey asked in confusion. He handed a sheet of paper to his brother and hurriedly left.

"I've got a better idea," said Davey. "Why don't you two go?"

It took Gerard and Matt a full thirty seconds to realize he was speaking to them.

"Actually, the work's been done for us," said Gerard, motioning to the sheet of paper he held. "This is a full profile on our thief. Already on the record for robbery."

"Well then, it's settled. Bring back our criminal," said Davey, leaving the room.

"He can't be serious," said Gerard.

"Get over it, Way. Maybe if you don't act stupid I'll give you a cupcake," said Matt, grabbing a set of car keys and walking out the door. In spite of Matt's comment, Gerard had to laugh. He would be sure to torture Matt about the cupcake incident for the next hour.
-
"You okay, Jade?" asked Mikey. Jade was sitting just outside of his office now, staring at the floor in deep thought. He looked up at the sound of the younger Way brother's voice.

"No. I'm not. I want to find the guy who did this and kick him in the face," he said angrily. Mikey sat next to him.

"Point made. I have something that might cheer you up, though," he said with a smile, grabbing his iPod and selecting a song. It was time to get revenge for learning every excruciating detail of the meat industry. He handed the iPod to Jade, who placed the headphones in his ears and pressed play. A smile came to his face almost immediately.

"I love the Arrogant Worms." Mikey grinned and stole one of the earphones, singing along.

"Listen up, brothers and sisters, come hear my desperate tale. I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail. Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night. This killing of veggies is madness. I say we take up the fight!"

Gerard walked out of the digital evidence and passed by Jade's office, laughing at his younger brother. He remembered that song all too well. Bob had introduced them all to the Arrogant Worms, and it spread like an infectious disease. Jade was singing harmony to Mikey's solo on the song.

"Salads are only for murderers. Cole slaw's a Fascist regime! Don't think that they don't have feelings just 'cause a radish can't scream," he sang, causing Mikey and Jade to look up at him simultaneously. Both smiled, and all three of them sang the words. Even though Gerard couldn't hear the song, he had a good ear for music and remembered it all too clearly. They quickly formed a trio, all singing different parts of the music. Mikey carried on the melody while Gerard and Jade sang backup.

"I've heard the screams of the vegetables," sang the younger Way brother.

"Scream, scream, scream," came the voices of the other two investigators, overlapping Mikey's lines. Jade was struggling not to laugh at their situation, but Gerard and Mikey were used to it. They did stupid things like this on a regular basis.

"Watching their skins being peeled..."

"Having their insides revealed..."

"Grated and steamed with no mercy..."

"Burning off calories..."

"How do you think that feels?"

"Bet it hurts really bad..."

At this point, Frank had reentered the lab, glancing around nervously. He frowned in confusion upon hearing a chorus of voices coming from down the hallway, and followed the sound. A smirk grew on his face as he realized what was happening.

"Where's Gerard?" asked Matt. "We need to leave." Frank halted in his tracks.

"You just called him Gerard."

"And?" said Matt. Frank was still shocked.

"You never call him Gerard." Matt shrugged.

"If you see him, tell him to meet me outside." Dumbfounded, Frank watched as Matt walked out the front door. Then he remembered the song and continued on his journey.

"Carrot juice constitutes murder..."

"And that's a real crime..."

"Greenhouses prisons for slaves..."

"Let my vegetables grow..."

"It's time to stop all this gardening..."

"It's dirty as hell..."

Frank rounded the corner just as the three investigators finished the chorus, and he joined in.

"Let's call a spade a spade," finished Mikey, eyes watering from holding back laughter.

"Is a spade, is a spade, is a spade," sang Gerard, Jade, and Frank. All four of them burst into laughter at the same time, unable to contain it any longer. Gerard stood and waved goodbye to his younger brother and Jade, walking down the hallway towards the door. Frank quickly took his place.

When the song was over, Jade smiled.

"Thanks, Mikey. I needed that." He stood and started to walk toward the security room, but stopped and turned around. "That's why I'm a vegetarian, you know. Not because I love animals, but because I hate plants."

Mikey started laughing all over again.