Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's Not Like It Hurts That Much Anyway
Pete's POV-
I paced the room, looking at the clock.
He was going to do it, he said yes. That was great. Good job Pete.
It was six, only an hour. Only an hour until I saw his beautiful face, and only an hour until I'd have to live another lie, and pick up another slut, just so that William wouldn't suspect that I was completely in love with him.
From the moment I saw him, I knew there was something different about him.
I had never been gay before I had met William. There was just something about him, a charm that you couldn't find in the most beautiful girl in the world.
People tell me all the time, "Pete, you're good looks enable you to have anyone you want"
but the one I want, I could never have.
Ever since I met William, me and Jeanae have been off and on, mostly off, because all I can think about is him.
It gets me so pissed, so pissed that I'm in love with someone, that doesn't love me back.
I need to tell someone.
I was thinking Patrick, someday. Someday I'd tell Patrick, that's what I'd do.
I glanced at the clock. 6:05. Damn I can't wait much longer.
Fuck, even thinking about him gets me so pissed.
I pull up my sleeve, and look at my new habit, that I developed last night, while I was pining over Beckett.
I reached over to the counter, and grabbed the knife, and pressed it against my skin, clutching my face, and sliding it across, feeling the skin slowly rip open like a zipper, and the cold blood rush, as it swarmed out of the open wound.
Every slash tells a story, this one will tell the story of me, waiting to pick him up, so that I could go, and just to spend time with him, live a lie.
I glanced at the clock, and took my hoodie off the back of the kitchen chair, and the keys off the counter, and shut off the lights as I headed out the door. Six thirty would have to do.
I got in my car, and stuck the keys in, and turned.
On the way there, I couldn't help but sing "Attention Attention" quietly.
When I pulled up, I turned the keys, took it out, stuffed them in my hoodie pocket, and got out.
I walked up the steps, still humming "Attention Attention."
I knocked on the door with my good hand, then other arm still stung.
Soon, William opened the door.
"Mr. Wentz. You're 20 minutes early. The clubs don't usually open till seven. Want to come in?" He asked, so confidently.
Looking at me like I was just a friend.
I always wish that secretly maybe he liked me too, and he played it cool, because he thought I didn't like him.
Secretly, I sometimes pretend that he likes me.
"Sure, I was bored at home, had nothing to do." I said, stepping in, and closing the door behind me.
"So Pete, Mike said he'd definitely to the video." William said, plopping onto the couch.
I sat next to him, secretly pretending that he wanted me to get closer, but I didn't actually get skin close.
"Good, Brendon and Spencer agreed to it too, so we've got some fun people coming in." I said, looking around, secretly pretending William wished I was looking at him.
I stretched my arms over my head, and I saw William's eyes raise to my arms. I looked up, and saw that the sleeves were riding up.
I quickly pulled them down, and continued to yawn.
"What the hell happened to you're left arm?" William asked, just like I hoped he wouldn't.
"Oh uh..." I said, unable to come up with an excuse.
"Jesus Pete, are you doing that to yourself?" he asked.
"I uh..." I stammered.
"What's wrong? You can tell me, Pete." he said.
"I...I fell, that's all." I said, rubbing my wrists.
He gave me a dull look. I should have known William was smarter then that.
I secretly pretended he was worried about me. Really worried.
"I've just been going through some rough patches...that's all." I said, looking away.
"Pete, what's the matter?" he asked.
"I...I don't know. I stopped, I don't do it anymore, they're scars." I said, quickly.
"What caused them?" he asked.
"Ugh...just love life problems. I...like some....girl who doesn't like me back. It's not like it hurts that much anyway, I'm over it." I said.
"Oh, I know how you feel." he said. I secretly pretended he was secretly talking about me, like I was secretly talking about him.
I sighed, and looked at the clock.
"It's ten minutes to seven, you wanna get going?" I asked.
"Okay, let's go." he said, grabbing his black leather jacket off the back of a chair, and heading out the door with me.
I walked out to the car, and got in the driver's seat, and he got in the passenger's seat.
I started up the car.
"So..." I said, trying to start conversation, and secretly pretending that him being silent meant he was thinking about me.
"So...how's finding props for the music video going?" he asked.
"Oh, good. We've got a set, and all of our weapons, and teeth, and makeup and what not. It's going to be good." I said, driving forward.
"Oh, cool. I can't wait." he said, glancing at me, and smiling.
"Me neither." I said, smiling, and secretly pretending that he thought my smile was gorgeous.
Soon, after much small talk, we pulled up to the club, and got out, walking to the entrance, and showing the Bouncer our VIP passes. He lead us through to a crowed place, already.
"Hi Pete. Hey William." One girl who I didn't know, but I'm sure I've slept with said, as she walked by, brushing my shoulder.
I just smiled, hoping that no one could tell it was fake.
"Come on Bill, let's go get a table." I said, secretly pretending we were on a date.
He nodded, and we walked over to a booth, and sat.
"Did you already eat?" I asked.
"No, I don't really eat much." he said.
"You should. Wanna spilt some French Fries with me?" I asked.
"Sure." he said.
I called a waitress over, and she smiled.
"Pete Wentz and William Beckett, I love your music. What can I get you boys tonight?" she said.
"Thanks. Can we just get a large fry please?" William asked.
"Sure, will that be it?" she asked.
I shook my head.
"Yup, that'll be all. Thanks. Do you want a picture?" I asked, seeing the camera strapped to her belt.
"Oh." she said, looking down at the camera.
"I'd love one." she said.
She got in the middle of me and William, and we put our arms around her, as she took the picture.
"Thanks guys!" she said.
"No problem." William said, smiling.
She smiled back.
"I'll have you're fries over here in about five minutes." she said, walking off to get them.
After she was gone, I turned to William.
"So, me and you, are going to score tonight." I said, trying to sound as convincing that it was what I wanted to do, as possible.
He nodded.
"Well, we know you will." he said, looking off.
I secretly pretended that it got to him, terribly.
Soon, "Checkmarks" came on the radio.
I watched William's lips mouth the beginning.
"Want to dance?" I asked.
He raised an eyebrow. I secretly pretended it was just hopeful shock.
"I don't dance, Pete." he said, turning red.
"Well, we can just flop around on the dance floor then. It'll be fun. In a not-gay kind of a way." I said.
I saw him raise his eyebrow quickly and uncomfortably.
"Fine. But only for a few minutes, we need to pay for our fries." he said, getting up, and following me to the dance floor.
We joined the group, and danced around, getting really close, and laughing really hard the whole time.
When the song ended, we kept laughing, and turned to the table, and walked over there.
"Haha, that was fun." William said, still breathing heavily.
"Yeah." I said, sitting down.
Soon, the waitress came over, and handed us our fries.
"Thanks." I said, taking them, and handing her the money.
"Keep the change." I said, winking at her. She smiled, and walked off.
"Pete the player." William said, shaking his head.
I shrugged, and smiled.
"I just have that charm, I guess. I have people at hello." I said.
But I wasn't talking about me, I had just explained William, as an attempt to get him to think of me the same way I think of him.
"That's for sure." he said. I secretly pretended he was talking about my affect on him, and not on woman.
I nodded, and reached for a fry, looking away, and not noticing William reaching for the same one.
When our skin touched, I got a jolt, and looked up, to see Williams hand spring back like a trap.
"Sorry, did I shock you?" I asked.
"Oh, you felt it too?" he asked. I secretly pretended he thought it was a chemistry shock.
"Yeah. I was rubbing my wrists, must have been the friction." I said, taking another fry and chomping it.
I paced the room, looking at the clock.
He was going to do it, he said yes. That was great. Good job Pete.
It was six, only an hour. Only an hour until I saw his beautiful face, and only an hour until I'd have to live another lie, and pick up another slut, just so that William wouldn't suspect that I was completely in love with him.
From the moment I saw him, I knew there was something different about him.
I had never been gay before I had met William. There was just something about him, a charm that you couldn't find in the most beautiful girl in the world.
People tell me all the time, "Pete, you're good looks enable you to have anyone you want"
but the one I want, I could never have.
Ever since I met William, me and Jeanae have been off and on, mostly off, because all I can think about is him.
It gets me so pissed, so pissed that I'm in love with someone, that doesn't love me back.
I need to tell someone.
I was thinking Patrick, someday. Someday I'd tell Patrick, that's what I'd do.
I glanced at the clock. 6:05. Damn I can't wait much longer.
Fuck, even thinking about him gets me so pissed.
I pull up my sleeve, and look at my new habit, that I developed last night, while I was pining over Beckett.
I reached over to the counter, and grabbed the knife, and pressed it against my skin, clutching my face, and sliding it across, feeling the skin slowly rip open like a zipper, and the cold blood rush, as it swarmed out of the open wound.
Every slash tells a story, this one will tell the story of me, waiting to pick him up, so that I could go, and just to spend time with him, live a lie.
I glanced at the clock, and took my hoodie off the back of the kitchen chair, and the keys off the counter, and shut off the lights as I headed out the door. Six thirty would have to do.
I got in my car, and stuck the keys in, and turned.
On the way there, I couldn't help but sing "Attention Attention" quietly.
When I pulled up, I turned the keys, took it out, stuffed them in my hoodie pocket, and got out.
I walked up the steps, still humming "Attention Attention."
I knocked on the door with my good hand, then other arm still stung.
Soon, William opened the door.
"Mr. Wentz. You're 20 minutes early. The clubs don't usually open till seven. Want to come in?" He asked, so confidently.
Looking at me like I was just a friend.
I always wish that secretly maybe he liked me too, and he played it cool, because he thought I didn't like him.
Secretly, I sometimes pretend that he likes me.
"Sure, I was bored at home, had nothing to do." I said, stepping in, and closing the door behind me.
"So Pete, Mike said he'd definitely to the video." William said, plopping onto the couch.
I sat next to him, secretly pretending that he wanted me to get closer, but I didn't actually get skin close.
"Good, Brendon and Spencer agreed to it too, so we've got some fun people coming in." I said, looking around, secretly pretending William wished I was looking at him.
I stretched my arms over my head, and I saw William's eyes raise to my arms. I looked up, and saw that the sleeves were riding up.
I quickly pulled them down, and continued to yawn.
"What the hell happened to you're left arm?" William asked, just like I hoped he wouldn't.
"Oh uh..." I said, unable to come up with an excuse.
"Jesus Pete, are you doing that to yourself?" he asked.
"I uh..." I stammered.
"What's wrong? You can tell me, Pete." he said.
"I...I fell, that's all." I said, rubbing my wrists.
He gave me a dull look. I should have known William was smarter then that.
I secretly pretended he was worried about me. Really worried.
"I've just been going through some rough patches...that's all." I said, looking away.
"Pete, what's the matter?" he asked.
"I...I don't know. I stopped, I don't do it anymore, they're scars." I said, quickly.
"What caused them?" he asked.
"Ugh...just love life problems. I...like some....girl who doesn't like me back. It's not like it hurts that much anyway, I'm over it." I said.
"Oh, I know how you feel." he said. I secretly pretended he was secretly talking about me, like I was secretly talking about him.
I sighed, and looked at the clock.
"It's ten minutes to seven, you wanna get going?" I asked.
"Okay, let's go." he said, grabbing his black leather jacket off the back of a chair, and heading out the door with me.
I walked out to the car, and got in the driver's seat, and he got in the passenger's seat.
I started up the car.
"So..." I said, trying to start conversation, and secretly pretending that him being silent meant he was thinking about me.
"So...how's finding props for the music video going?" he asked.
"Oh, good. We've got a set, and all of our weapons, and teeth, and makeup and what not. It's going to be good." I said, driving forward.
"Oh, cool. I can't wait." he said, glancing at me, and smiling.
"Me neither." I said, smiling, and secretly pretending that he thought my smile was gorgeous.
Soon, after much small talk, we pulled up to the club, and got out, walking to the entrance, and showing the Bouncer our VIP passes. He lead us through to a crowed place, already.
"Hi Pete. Hey William." One girl who I didn't know, but I'm sure I've slept with said, as she walked by, brushing my shoulder.
I just smiled, hoping that no one could tell it was fake.
"Come on Bill, let's go get a table." I said, secretly pretending we were on a date.
He nodded, and we walked over to a booth, and sat.
"Did you already eat?" I asked.
"No, I don't really eat much." he said.
"You should. Wanna spilt some French Fries with me?" I asked.
"Sure." he said.
I called a waitress over, and she smiled.
"Pete Wentz and William Beckett, I love your music. What can I get you boys tonight?" she said.
"Thanks. Can we just get a large fry please?" William asked.
"Sure, will that be it?" she asked.
I shook my head.
"Yup, that'll be all. Thanks. Do you want a picture?" I asked, seeing the camera strapped to her belt.
"Oh." she said, looking down at the camera.
"I'd love one." she said.
She got in the middle of me and William, and we put our arms around her, as she took the picture.
"Thanks guys!" she said.
"No problem." William said, smiling.
She smiled back.
"I'll have you're fries over here in about five minutes." she said, walking off to get them.
After she was gone, I turned to William.
"So, me and you, are going to score tonight." I said, trying to sound as convincing that it was what I wanted to do, as possible.
He nodded.
"Well, we know you will." he said, looking off.
I secretly pretended that it got to him, terribly.
Soon, "Checkmarks" came on the radio.
I watched William's lips mouth the beginning.
"Want to dance?" I asked.
He raised an eyebrow. I secretly pretended it was just hopeful shock.
"I don't dance, Pete." he said, turning red.
"Well, we can just flop around on the dance floor then. It'll be fun. In a not-gay kind of a way." I said.
I saw him raise his eyebrow quickly and uncomfortably.
"Fine. But only for a few minutes, we need to pay for our fries." he said, getting up, and following me to the dance floor.
We joined the group, and danced around, getting really close, and laughing really hard the whole time.
When the song ended, we kept laughing, and turned to the table, and walked over there.
"Haha, that was fun." William said, still breathing heavily.
"Yeah." I said, sitting down.
Soon, the waitress came over, and handed us our fries.
"Thanks." I said, taking them, and handing her the money.
"Keep the change." I said, winking at her. She smiled, and walked off.
"Pete the player." William said, shaking his head.
I shrugged, and smiled.
"I just have that charm, I guess. I have people at hello." I said.
But I wasn't talking about me, I had just explained William, as an attempt to get him to think of me the same way I think of him.
"That's for sure." he said. I secretly pretended he was talking about my affect on him, and not on woman.
I nodded, and reached for a fry, looking away, and not noticing William reaching for the same one.
When our skin touched, I got a jolt, and looked up, to see Williams hand spring back like a trap.
"Sorry, did I shock you?" I asked.
"Oh, you felt it too?" he asked. I secretly pretended he thought it was a chemistry shock.
"Yeah. I was rubbing my wrists, must have been the friction." I said, taking another fry and chomping it.
Sign up to rate and review this story