Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Were star cross'd lovers, baby

11.The reflection of a lost girl is so inspiring

by prissynblack 5 reviews

I looked at the reflection that stared back at me. What I saw today really freaked me out seeing I always saw that little girl in my dreams.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Published: 2007-05-23 - Updated: 2007-05-24 - 2792 words

Author note: Today is Wed. may 23! 2 more days and I'll so be out of school! Yay!(back to the story) Long time so seek guys! I know the whole ordeal about my story not showing up made this whole updating process pretty slow and stuff, well thats all taken care of now. I have some great ideas for the story and so much will be coming out of it. Suprises, twists, turns! nudge nudge; wink wink So I'm so excited to be so far in this story like i am. Did yall know out of all the stories I've done this is the first one i've actually gotten to chapter 11.(well i finished my first panic fan fic) Anyways i'm proud to have gained so many great readers. Hopefully these readers will review:) Well hope you enjoy!

I need at least 4 reviews if you want another update!

Brendon P.O.V

I glanced over at Ashley who was looking out the window. She didn't seem like herself today. I was really getting worried.

"Disney land here we come" Kayla cheered throwing her hands in the air. She looked at Ashley and her expression turned serious. Then she looked at me and sat back in her seat.

"What's up with everybody?" Ryan asked focusing on the road.

"I'm wondering the same thing" I looked in Ashley's direction.

"I'm perfectly fine" Kayla answered.

Ashley then scooted closer towards her window.


We had paid for the tickets and entered the theme park.

"So where do we go first?" ryan said examing his surroundings.

"Well me and Ashley need to go to the bathroom!" Kayla said grabbing ashleys arm.

"Okay" ryan and I said in an off beat unison.

"We'll be right back" Kayla smiled rushing off.

Kayla P.O.V

I dragged her into the nearest bathroom . We went into one of the stalls and I stood in front of her and crossed my arms.

"What?" she said giving into the few minutes of awkward silence.

"No the question is whats wrong with you?"

"Its nothing"

"You can't lie to me sweetie. What is it?" I demanded an answer.

"I don't know" she whined.

"Well I'll tell you this. You need to straighten up and quit pouting like a little kid. We came here to have fun and your ruining our time. Especially mines"

She let her head fall low.

"Okay I'm sorry if you felt pressured yesterday and if I could go back in time I'd give you back your virginity and you wouldn't have lost it like you did"

"It's okay"

"Well look at it this way ,didn't you lose it to the man you love?"

I can tell my words hit because she paused and kind of fell in a gaze.


"Yes I heard you. I did. Your right" a smiled played along her lips.

"Well then turn that frown upside down" My words came out overly excited!


"Lets go out there and have a good time"

"Lets" she then locked arms with me.

Brendon P.O.V

Me and Ryan sat on one of the benches that was close to the bathroom.

"I hope everything's cool" I said.

"Yeah me too. I would hate for something to go wrong" Ryan added.

"I wonder why Ash has been acting funny?"

"Maybe because of the wild night we had last night"

"Well it wasn't that bad, its not like shes a virgin or something" I smirked.

"Yeah I know" ryan chukled.

We both got silent and looked at each other.

"Naw" we said in unison of what we were both thinking.

"I just hope I didn't do anything"

"Well Brendon maybe your little sail boat couldn't make up for the motion"

"Are you saying I have a small penis and I can't have sex?"

"No I said you have a small penis and you don't know how to have sex"

"You're a bitch you know that and thank you very much but I do not have a small penis and I know how to...move...go..yeah I know how to have sex"

"I'm just joking" ryan laughed.

"Well you kind of hurt me here" I pointed towards where my heart is located.

"You'll get over it"

"Well your girl wasn't saying that when she was screaming my name"

"Oh no you didn't" he sassed.

"Oh Brendon oh yeah harder Brendon oh shit Brendon" I reacted a girls tone with moaning.

"Nice. hate you"

"ha ha" I laughed sarcastically.

"Whats so funny?" Ashley said stopping in front of us with Kayla by her side.

"Nothing really..we so weren't just talking know..yeah I'll shut up now"

"Lets go baby" Kayla grabbed ryans handed and pulled him off his ass.

I looked up at Ashley and she gave me a 'I'm sorry' face as she reached her hands out to mines. So I gladly accepted.

Kayla P.O.V

This day turned out to be the worst but ended up going so good.

"I want a turkey leg" Kayla whined.

"Lets go on this ride" ryan said happily as he pulled her to the opposite direction from a food place.

"But I just want a break" she pleaded.

"Baby I really want to ride this and after the ride we'll go straight to go get you that turkey leg. Please!" he pleaded.

Kayla looked at me.

"Kayla just hold out for a few minutes" I compromised with her.

"Come on Kayla" Brendon agreed.

"But look at the line" she said.

"Okay well get you a damn turkey leg" Ryan pulled her towards the stand and a devilish smile played on her lips.


"All done" she said throwing away the bone in the nearest trash.

"Finally were here" Ryan huffed as we moved up to the gate.

"Are you happy now?" I asked Kayla.

She shook her head yes and moved closer to ryan.

"Please whatever you do don't throw up" Brendon pleaded.

"I wont. I know how to hold food on a roller coaster just like I know how to handle my liquior"

"In that case I'm nervous" I joked.

Kayla hit me on my arm. The roller coaster had came back to where it started. All the people unbuckled there belts and you heard chatter about the likes, dislikes, excitements and entertainment from the ride.

"Are you guys ready to ride?" the employee said over the intercom. He stood by a podium that had all these buttons and things on top of it.

"Yeah" everyone screamed.

"All aboard" the guy replied.


"That was fun" I said throwing my hands up as our ride deported.

"I know" Brendon cheered.

"Yeah so much fun" kayla yelled.

"Told ya" Ryan bragged.


We were now off the stairs we climbed to get on the ride. As we began to walk Kayla ran to a bush, hovered over it and began to puke. Ryan ran over to her to hold her hair.

"I knew it" Brendon sighed.

"Hey while shes doing that lets go get some cotton candy" I smiled.

"Great idea" he grabbed my hand.

"Hey Ryan were going to this stand right here" I yelled to him.

He shook his head and we began to walk.


Brendon was paying and I held my cotton candy in my right hand, breaking off bits and pieces then placing it in my mouth just so I could taste it melt afterwards.I was looking around when I saw this little girl about 7 or 8 standing all alone. I had seen her somewhere/. She was looking around nervously, Like she was lost and didn't know where to turn. She went on and off walking into the same little circles of her own footsteps. Her back was facing me so I couldn't see what she looked like. From what I could tell she had on some blue jean overalls, with a red shirt underneath. Her shoes were solid white and she looked as if she was in her tom boy phase. /She looked all to familiar to me.

As I got a grip on the clothing she had on, she turned around slowly looking straight at me. Everything began in slow motion from my point of view. I swallowed hard because the girl I was seeing was the mirror image of me. A lump was stuck in my throat, so my lips parted because of the metal shock I was in. She didn't looked surprised at all. Her expressions killed me for the reason she looked more curious then freaked out. Her head titled to the side on and off, her eyebrows moved out into an arch.

I closed my eyes real tight thinking this would all go away. Wishing this would all go away. I've seen this little girl in my dreams time and time again. I was the little girl in my dreams. I was the lost girl. As I reopened them not to quick but peeking a little before they fully opened. She was standing in the same spot but this time her eyes filled with tears. She was sad.

I hope it wasn't me. Yes it was me. I hurt her. No I was the girl hurting. Her arm reached out towards my direction. The eyes showed so much intensity. So much pain and suffering. Her tears began to flow faster then raindrops on the windows of cars. I breathed in and out regularly but my heart was moving faster then my thoughts. The slow motion was taking a toll on me seeing I couldn't move because it hurt to. Not physically but metally. I tried to reach my arm to her but I couldn't. Gravity wouldn't allow me to and that's when it hurt.

This girl was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help. It was driving me crazy.

I guess the girl was getting the picture I wasn't going to reach back. She was getting the wrong idea. She didn't understand how much I wanted to reach towards her and help her. She couldn't understand. No I wasn't understanding. That was the lonely, confused, lost, girl I once was. She moved her arm to her side and tears began to fill my eyes. I tried to calll out to her but my mouth wouldn't move.

She then scuffed up her face as she opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Her hands were balled into a fist and her arms laid on the side of her. She tried so hard for me to hear her but it wasn't happening. She closed her mouth and looked down. I could see the tiny drops falling from her eyes.

"Ashley" a voice called. I closed my eyes once more.

"Ashley! Ashley!"

The voice was so close but sounded so faded. When I opened my eyes again the little girl was gone and everything was out of slow motion. I felt my face and tears were still falling. My eyes were shooting out as I was trying to catch my breathe.

"Ashley" a voice called. I felt something touch my shoulder so I quickly turned around. It was Brendon. His expression was shocked to see me crying. I immediately held on to him. I laid my head on his shoulder but I didn't cry. I just held him killing me in my own silence.

"What's wrong?" he asked rubbing my back for comfort.

"Its nothing. I just want to be held" I sniffled.

"Okay" the tone in his voice seemed slightly confused, but he held onto me tighter.

"Thank you" I cried slightly.

Kayla P.O.V

"Okay" I said waving my hand to give Ryan the signal to let go of my hair.

"Alright" he replied.

I lifted my head up and spit in the bushes.

"You just had to have the turkey leg" ryan complained.

"Well I've never thrown up before I didn't think I would now"

"Well I'm not going to tell you I told you so"

"But you didn't tell me anything"

"Oh yeah I didn't" he chuckled.

"Yeah okay" I said looking towards the cotton candy stand. I saw Ashley standing by herself and looking at something. I looked in the spot her eyes were directed towards and no one was there. She seemed in serious thought none less shock.

"Ryan do you see Ashley?" I asked.

"Yeah" he answered standing next to me.

"Does she look like she's angry to you?"

"Um..kind of...well I don't want to upset her more if she is"

"Lets go see her!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him along with me.

Brendon P.O.V

"Ashley?" I grabbed her shoulder and she quickly turned around. She pulled me into a hug and gripped onto me tight. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Its nothing. I just want to be held" she sniffled.

"Okay" I was confused but I did exactly what she wanted.

"Thank you" her voice cracked.

"What's up?" Kayla asked walking up with Ryan.

"I don't know" I replied.

Ashley let go of me and began to wipe her face.

"You okay?" Ryan asked her.

"Perfectly fine" she smiled.

"Are you sure?" Kayla seemed concerned.

"Of course" Ashley was brushing off the problem. I knew something was wrong. "Lets go ride rides" she said joyful. This girl could change up her moods faster then a cheetah chasing dinner.

"Well okay lets go ride rides" I smiled looking at her. She gave me a face like /'thank you so much'/.

"Alright lets go" Kayla smirked.

Kayla and Ryan joined hands and began to walk. Me and Ashley followed behind so I took it upon myself to grab her hand. She gave me sheepish smile and griped tighter on my hand.

Ashley P.O.V

Today had been a long day and about 12 at night we had finally made it home. We were restless and wanted to get some sleep since tomorrow we'd be living this sunny state. Ryan and Kayla were laying in bed and I was in the bathroom while Brendon laid on the bed. They had turned off the lights in the room so I guess they weren't waiting any longer for me.

I looked at the reflection that stared back at me. What I saw today really freaked me out seeing I always saw that little girl in my dreams. I always saw me being the 8 yr old in my dreams. The lost girl. The unwanted girl. The confused girl. The quiet girl. But what really troubled me the most is I didn't know where this was all coming from. A piece of me is missing and I was going to need to find it or let it find me. Other then that I felt like I wasn't being honest with Brendon. So right now was the perfect time to get this monkey off my back.

I crept into the room and went to our bed. I tapped Brendons shoulder and he laid on his back to face me.

"baby..." I placed my index over his lips.

I leaned into his ear.

"Come with me in the bathroom" I whispered hoarsely.

He got out the bed and I grabbed his hand. I led him to the bathroom and I shut and locked the door behind us. I sat down and he sat down across from me.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"Not really but kind of"

"Seriously if there's anything you want to tell me then tell me" he grabbed my hand.

I blushed a little lowering my head then I lifted it back up.

"I'm trying to think of a way to say this..i" Brendon interrupted me.

"You wouldn't happen to pregnant?"

"" I answered.

"Thank god"

I laughed softly but regained my seriousiness.

"Brendon I was a virgin before we did what we did. I thought I'd tell you before it was going to drive me into insanity" I was so relieved.

"Wow..again why didn't you tell me this before the whole sex thing?"

"Well I felt yall wanted to do it and I didn't want to ruin you guys fun"

"Ashley babe we could of did something other than sex"

There was a pause as I looked away for a minute. I stared back at him with the biggest grin.

"Well I did lose it to the man I love"

Brendon smiled and you could see him blush.

"I love you Ashley Moore"

"Oh gawd I love you Brendon Urie"

He leaned in and I leaned in, when our lips touched it was there. Everything I longed for this whole trip was on his desirable lips. Brendon is my everything.
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