Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Chemical Daughter
Chapter two
I sat there trying to take it in. Why was Gerard Way here? Wait. They woman said my dads name was Gerard and from New Jersey. Gerard way couldn't be my dad could he? Well it would explain why I didn't fit into his life. I do have some of his features. This is just ludicrous. I looked at him he was sat next to me with his eyes focused on his shoes.
"Wait you're my dad?" I asked him still not really believing it but it seamed to be to the only explanation. He still didn't look up he just nodded. "B...But...huh...you're...Gerard....." that was all I could say I couldn't breathe, oh crap why did I have to have asthma. I was looking round for my inhaler. God this is so embarrassing. I was gasping. Gerard must have heard me because he looked up.
"Oh fuck, you have asthma too, where's your inhaler?" he asked with a panicked look on his face. I couldn't talk; it was in my bag so I pointed to my bag that was still in the corner of the room. He quickly ran over to my bag tipped everything out then picked up the inhaler. He ran back over to me, shook the in haler then opened it and put it into my mouth I breathed in it a few times feeling more relaxed. When I was finally able to talk I looked at him with an embarrassed smile on my face.
"Umm sorry about that" I said.
"Oh don't be, Mikey has asthma to so I'm used to helping him when he has an attack" he said grinning nervously. "So you okay?" he asked. I nodded, my mind was on overload I was still trying to take what was happening in but it just wasn't registering in my mind.
"How can you be my dad?" I asked searching for answers.
"Well you see, me and your mum was at high school together, and we went out for a while it wasn't serious though, one night we was drunk and we... did..., well you know, then around a month after she ran away, to England. She found out she was pregnant and didn't want her family to find out so she saved up money and bought a fight to England. I still didn't know about any of this at this point though. Her family knew that she ran away but she wasn't close with them so they didn't make any effort to find her and well we were just a little fling so I just moved on and didn't think much of it. I grew up and I was touring in England and I was walking around late one night and I saw her with a kid she looked dreadful. It turned out that she was living on a bad estate paid by the council and was struggling to survive for the both of you. She told me that the kid was mine and what had happened, I panicked, I was still growing up and I told her that I would support her but I didn't want anyone to know I was the father. It was wrong but I was in shock. I went back with the band and carried on the same, except from giving your mum money. I considered a few times coming to see you but I never had the guts, and if I did come to see you that would mean I would have to tell my family and band, the press would know it would have been such a mess. Then yesterday I got a call, I was at home in New Jersey and I got a call from a woman, she told me what had happened and that I was the only person that you had and if I wasn't prepared to come for you then you will have to go to care. I knew I couldn't do that to you and left a note to my parents saying that I was going away for a few days and went straight to the airport. Now I'm here..." he took a deep breath and waited for me to say something.
I sat in silence. I was trying to understand a fit it all together but it just wasn't sure what the hell to say!
"I hope you don't mind but I found you asleep on the window ledge and it looked uncomfortable so I put you to bed." He said trying to get me to talk. But I still didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say! Normally I would have an answer to everything but over the last few days I have been unable to answer ant thing. "So I see you like the band" he said looking at the MCR hoddy that was on the floor along with all my other items that had been tipped out my bag."
"Yea... so what's gonna happen know?" I asked.
"Well when I arrived early this morning I spoke to a woman named Mary and she said that we have to get all the belongings that you want to keep from your house and the rest will be sold. Then we have to go the funeral. Then I've got two flights for tonight back to New Jersey. Then I will have a lot off explaining to do... I'm sorry Christina, I know that you have every right to hate me but give me a chance to try and make things right, I tried to make my self feel better by thinking that you are better of without me as a dad but that should have been your choice." A tear slithered down the side of his cheek and he brushed it away.
"Well I'll go get changed" I said even though I was already dressed in my school Pe kit I had to put normal clothes on. I really didn't know how to react. It would have been hard enough dealing with my mother's death, but now I am being told all this by the person that I admired. I decided to just go along with everything until I had sorted out everything in my head.
"Okay, well ill go and sort everything out with the social workers and then we can go to the house and get everything packed for you." He said leaving the room.
I got up and put my jeans on that I had put in my bag then put on the MCR hoddy. I wished I didn't have to wear it now it was weird, but that was all I had put in my bag so I put it on. I put my little bits back into my bag and tried to prepare myself for the day ahead. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Is it okay to come in?"
"Yeah" I replied and Gerard walked in.
"The funerals at 12.00 so we have time to go to your house then to the funeral and from the funeral we will have to go straight to the airport, is that okay? I know its quick but this is all just come as a shock to me too but I promise you I will do my best." Gerard said. I didn't say anything I just walked out the room with him. "I called a taxi; it should be here in 5 minutes to take us to your house." He said. We waited for the taxi it arrived and we got in the back.
"Hey, aren't you Gerard way?" the taxi driver asked.
"Umm yea, hey" Gerard said shifting in his seat looking uncomfortable.
"Wow, my kids are big fans umm would you mind giving them you autographs" he asked hopefully.
"Sure what are there names?" he asked, then the taxi driver handed him a piece of paper.
"Lucy and Hannah, there coming to see you next month in concert, you really helped them both you know, my wife's just been diagnosed with cancer, you mean so much to them." he said with his voice full off emotion.
"Oh I'm sorry... if you like I would be able to get them a backstage pass." Gerard said.
"Really that would be great, thank you so much." He said touched by Gerard's kindness.
Gerard got the names and address of the taxi driver and told him that he would send them to him before the show. Then we arrived at my house. We got out the car and I took a picture or the taxi driver and Gerard. I was slightly surprised at how kind Gerard was. "That was a really nice thing you did for that man" I told him.
"Well I can tell when people are genuine, I felt his pain." He said as we walked into the house.
We walked it to the house. It was the same as I had left in or Monday morning. It hurt so much to think that this will be the last time ill ever be here, this was mine and my mum's house. I looked at the pictures of me and my mum around the living room. This is the place I have lived since I was 9. Gerard was looking at the pictures of me and my mum and the living room.
"Well, come on let's go to your room and pack everything you want to take. Ill help you, try and keep so there enough for us both to carry, I didn't bring anything except my wallet and phone, so ill be able to take a suit case to" Gerard said trying to be as helpful as possible.
"Okay, well all the stuff I need, will fit into one suitcase and if you don't mind id like to take my CDs DVDs and photos and stuff like that." I didn't really care about any of the stuff except the stuff that actually meant something like the photos, but I might as well act rational and take my essentials to, the rest didn't matter. We walked up to my room. I felt really embarrassed going up to my room because I had posters of him up on my wall and I had all there CDs and DVD. I tried to act as though they weren't there. I opened my wardrobe and packed my clothes, shoes, jewelry and so on. They all fitted into my first suitcase. Then I started packing my seconded suitcase, Gerard wasn't helping me he was just looking at everything in my room.
"Wow, this is some clever shit here" he said picking up my calculus book. "I thought you were 15, I didn't think you'd be doing stuff like this.
"Umm yea, I skipped a year" I said.
"You're a genius eh, well that's some good shit" he said then looking at my DVD collection "ah fuck, I wish you hadn't watched this" he said picking up my copy of life on the murder scene. I didn't say anything, it was uncomfortable, and so I quickly packed the rest of my stuff and all the pictures.
"Well I've pack everything that I need" I said closing the second suitcase.
"Oh shit, sorry I gonna help I was just busy looking at everything" he said guiltily. "Well anyway I'm glad that you're a fan and everything, so this must be pretty weird eh?" I just nodded I was trying to get the day over without thinking so I didn't want to think about it.
After Gerard called a taxi to take us to the funeral, we waited then when the taxi came Gerard asked if he would wait outside for an hour with the luggage while we go the funeral then take us to the airport.
Nothing could have prepared me for the funeral. I hadn't really felt much I think I was still in denial or shock but as I walked towards the church felt my stomach turn and my lungs close, I pulled out my inhaler quickly and breathed into it, the last thing I wanted to happed was to have a panic attack.
"You okay?" Gerard asked watching me breathe into my inhaler, I nodded. As we entered the church I saw the coffin at the front. Oh crap I was gonna be sick, I ran out the door outside and was heaving, but since I hadn't eaten in a few days nothing was coming up except stomach acid. It burned my throat. I looked up and saw Gerard looking me, unsure what to do, I wiped my mouth and said "come on, can we leave I can't do this" tears were streaming out my eyes.
"Don't you want to say goodbye, I'm sure you will regret it if you don't" he said coming closer to me. All of a sudden I felt so much hate and anger and pain, my mind was thinking for it self, ii couldn't control my self.
"Fuck you, who the fuck do you think you are! My mum just died, and then my dad appears and turns out to be this famous rock star! I just can't deal with this, why the fuck did this have to happen to me, it can't be happening I won't let it!" I took at deep breath. "It hurts so fucking much" I cried dropping to the floor in defeat. I sat on the floor crying my heart out. I felt someone put there arms around my and held me. I just held onto the person crying.
Finally when I was too weak to cry any more, I loosened my grip and looked up. It was Gerard. "We can go if you like" he said softly. I nodded. I wasn't ready for this yet.
We both sat in the taxi and set off for the airport in silence.
I sat there trying to take it in. Why was Gerard Way here? Wait. They woman said my dads name was Gerard and from New Jersey. Gerard way couldn't be my dad could he? Well it would explain why I didn't fit into his life. I do have some of his features. This is just ludicrous. I looked at him he was sat next to me with his eyes focused on his shoes.
"Wait you're my dad?" I asked him still not really believing it but it seamed to be to the only explanation. He still didn't look up he just nodded. "B...But...huh...you're...Gerard....." that was all I could say I couldn't breathe, oh crap why did I have to have asthma. I was looking round for my inhaler. God this is so embarrassing. I was gasping. Gerard must have heard me because he looked up.
"Oh fuck, you have asthma too, where's your inhaler?" he asked with a panicked look on his face. I couldn't talk; it was in my bag so I pointed to my bag that was still in the corner of the room. He quickly ran over to my bag tipped everything out then picked up the inhaler. He ran back over to me, shook the in haler then opened it and put it into my mouth I breathed in it a few times feeling more relaxed. When I was finally able to talk I looked at him with an embarrassed smile on my face.
"Umm sorry about that" I said.
"Oh don't be, Mikey has asthma to so I'm used to helping him when he has an attack" he said grinning nervously. "So you okay?" he asked. I nodded, my mind was on overload I was still trying to take what was happening in but it just wasn't registering in my mind.
"How can you be my dad?" I asked searching for answers.
"Well you see, me and your mum was at high school together, and we went out for a while it wasn't serious though, one night we was drunk and we... did..., well you know, then around a month after she ran away, to England. She found out she was pregnant and didn't want her family to find out so she saved up money and bought a fight to England. I still didn't know about any of this at this point though. Her family knew that she ran away but she wasn't close with them so they didn't make any effort to find her and well we were just a little fling so I just moved on and didn't think much of it. I grew up and I was touring in England and I was walking around late one night and I saw her with a kid she looked dreadful. It turned out that she was living on a bad estate paid by the council and was struggling to survive for the both of you. She told me that the kid was mine and what had happened, I panicked, I was still growing up and I told her that I would support her but I didn't want anyone to know I was the father. It was wrong but I was in shock. I went back with the band and carried on the same, except from giving your mum money. I considered a few times coming to see you but I never had the guts, and if I did come to see you that would mean I would have to tell my family and band, the press would know it would have been such a mess. Then yesterday I got a call, I was at home in New Jersey and I got a call from a woman, she told me what had happened and that I was the only person that you had and if I wasn't prepared to come for you then you will have to go to care. I knew I couldn't do that to you and left a note to my parents saying that I was going away for a few days and went straight to the airport. Now I'm here..." he took a deep breath and waited for me to say something.
I sat in silence. I was trying to understand a fit it all together but it just wasn't sure what the hell to say!
"I hope you don't mind but I found you asleep on the window ledge and it looked uncomfortable so I put you to bed." He said trying to get me to talk. But I still didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say! Normally I would have an answer to everything but over the last few days I have been unable to answer ant thing. "So I see you like the band" he said looking at the MCR hoddy that was on the floor along with all my other items that had been tipped out my bag."
"Yea... so what's gonna happen know?" I asked.
"Well when I arrived early this morning I spoke to a woman named Mary and she said that we have to get all the belongings that you want to keep from your house and the rest will be sold. Then we have to go the funeral. Then I've got two flights for tonight back to New Jersey. Then I will have a lot off explaining to do... I'm sorry Christina, I know that you have every right to hate me but give me a chance to try and make things right, I tried to make my self feel better by thinking that you are better of without me as a dad but that should have been your choice." A tear slithered down the side of his cheek and he brushed it away.
"Well I'll go get changed" I said even though I was already dressed in my school Pe kit I had to put normal clothes on. I really didn't know how to react. It would have been hard enough dealing with my mother's death, but now I am being told all this by the person that I admired. I decided to just go along with everything until I had sorted out everything in my head.
"Okay, well ill go and sort everything out with the social workers and then we can go to the house and get everything packed for you." He said leaving the room.
I got up and put my jeans on that I had put in my bag then put on the MCR hoddy. I wished I didn't have to wear it now it was weird, but that was all I had put in my bag so I put it on. I put my little bits back into my bag and tried to prepare myself for the day ahead. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Is it okay to come in?"
"Yeah" I replied and Gerard walked in.
"The funerals at 12.00 so we have time to go to your house then to the funeral and from the funeral we will have to go straight to the airport, is that okay? I know its quick but this is all just come as a shock to me too but I promise you I will do my best." Gerard said. I didn't say anything I just walked out the room with him. "I called a taxi; it should be here in 5 minutes to take us to your house." He said. We waited for the taxi it arrived and we got in the back.
"Hey, aren't you Gerard way?" the taxi driver asked.
"Umm yea, hey" Gerard said shifting in his seat looking uncomfortable.
"Wow, my kids are big fans umm would you mind giving them you autographs" he asked hopefully.
"Sure what are there names?" he asked, then the taxi driver handed him a piece of paper.
"Lucy and Hannah, there coming to see you next month in concert, you really helped them both you know, my wife's just been diagnosed with cancer, you mean so much to them." he said with his voice full off emotion.
"Oh I'm sorry... if you like I would be able to get them a backstage pass." Gerard said.
"Really that would be great, thank you so much." He said touched by Gerard's kindness.
Gerard got the names and address of the taxi driver and told him that he would send them to him before the show. Then we arrived at my house. We got out the car and I took a picture or the taxi driver and Gerard. I was slightly surprised at how kind Gerard was. "That was a really nice thing you did for that man" I told him.
"Well I can tell when people are genuine, I felt his pain." He said as we walked into the house.
We walked it to the house. It was the same as I had left in or Monday morning. It hurt so much to think that this will be the last time ill ever be here, this was mine and my mum's house. I looked at the pictures of me and my mum around the living room. This is the place I have lived since I was 9. Gerard was looking at the pictures of me and my mum and the living room.
"Well, come on let's go to your room and pack everything you want to take. Ill help you, try and keep so there enough for us both to carry, I didn't bring anything except my wallet and phone, so ill be able to take a suit case to" Gerard said trying to be as helpful as possible.
"Okay, well all the stuff I need, will fit into one suitcase and if you don't mind id like to take my CDs DVDs and photos and stuff like that." I didn't really care about any of the stuff except the stuff that actually meant something like the photos, but I might as well act rational and take my essentials to, the rest didn't matter. We walked up to my room. I felt really embarrassed going up to my room because I had posters of him up on my wall and I had all there CDs and DVD. I tried to act as though they weren't there. I opened my wardrobe and packed my clothes, shoes, jewelry and so on. They all fitted into my first suitcase. Then I started packing my seconded suitcase, Gerard wasn't helping me he was just looking at everything in my room.
"Wow, this is some clever shit here" he said picking up my calculus book. "I thought you were 15, I didn't think you'd be doing stuff like this.
"Umm yea, I skipped a year" I said.
"You're a genius eh, well that's some good shit" he said then looking at my DVD collection "ah fuck, I wish you hadn't watched this" he said picking up my copy of life on the murder scene. I didn't say anything, it was uncomfortable, and so I quickly packed the rest of my stuff and all the pictures.
"Well I've pack everything that I need" I said closing the second suitcase.
"Oh shit, sorry I gonna help I was just busy looking at everything" he said guiltily. "Well anyway I'm glad that you're a fan and everything, so this must be pretty weird eh?" I just nodded I was trying to get the day over without thinking so I didn't want to think about it.
After Gerard called a taxi to take us to the funeral, we waited then when the taxi came Gerard asked if he would wait outside for an hour with the luggage while we go the funeral then take us to the airport.
Nothing could have prepared me for the funeral. I hadn't really felt much I think I was still in denial or shock but as I walked towards the church felt my stomach turn and my lungs close, I pulled out my inhaler quickly and breathed into it, the last thing I wanted to happed was to have a panic attack.
"You okay?" Gerard asked watching me breathe into my inhaler, I nodded. As we entered the church I saw the coffin at the front. Oh crap I was gonna be sick, I ran out the door outside and was heaving, but since I hadn't eaten in a few days nothing was coming up except stomach acid. It burned my throat. I looked up and saw Gerard looking me, unsure what to do, I wiped my mouth and said "come on, can we leave I can't do this" tears were streaming out my eyes.
"Don't you want to say goodbye, I'm sure you will regret it if you don't" he said coming closer to me. All of a sudden I felt so much hate and anger and pain, my mind was thinking for it self, ii couldn't control my self.
"Fuck you, who the fuck do you think you are! My mum just died, and then my dad appears and turns out to be this famous rock star! I just can't deal with this, why the fuck did this have to happen to me, it can't be happening I won't let it!" I took at deep breath. "It hurts so fucking much" I cried dropping to the floor in defeat. I sat on the floor crying my heart out. I felt someone put there arms around my and held me. I just held onto the person crying.
Finally when I was too weak to cry any more, I loosened my grip and looked up. It was Gerard. "We can go if you like" he said softly. I nodded. I wasn't ready for this yet.
We both sat in the taxi and set off for the airport in silence.
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