FicWad

Oh, you look so tired
Mouth slack and wide
Ill-housed and ill-advised
Your face is mean, as your life has been

Morrissey and The Smiths, how could I ever forget about you? It seems that song had been stuck in my head for a day and a half; yes a day and a half. It was already Friday afternoon, I had no homework or projects to attend too and it my day off from work. Tonight was that concert I was invited to by that guy, Frank. Turns out Cathee had to bail out on me, an important project showed up and I know how important school is for her. No problem there was someone I knew wouldn't bail out on me no matter what, and she should have been my first choice from the beginning; Jenni Padilla.

One of the coolest bitches you'll ever meet in your life.

And she had a car so I didn't have to take the subway or a dinky cab, oh yay! Back to my adventure in the pile of monstrous laundry scattered around my room, I was having a battle with myself on what to wear - oh won't my mother be proud! I scoffed at myself, kicking at a pile of clothes that sprung into the air and landed in various places of my small, bedroom. Ok, it's November and very nearing to winter, even though Fall is very pretty scenery and snow is just as slippery as water on tile; something warm, but something cool because I'm going to be in a bar. With drinks. And sweaty band members.

Oh screw this, I'm wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I grabbed the nearest pair of jeans I could find, a dark denim pair, and a white long sleeved shirt that had a red t-shirt attached to it on top. After setting the clothes on my bed, and hearing Jack the Ripper for the sixth time in a row, I decided to pick up the clothes that were discarded on the floor and quickly tried to hang them up. To think I made this mess after I shower, and I wore nothing but a black lacey bra and hot pink bikini cut panties. After my clothing massacre was picked up, and I dressed my self in the clothing of my choice I moved quickly to shoes, hair, and make-up.

Which was all-simple; red chucks, a flat iron, and black eyeliner with a dash of tangerine flavored lipgloss. Ta-da! Done. I slipped the lipgloss into the front pocket of my black hoodie, then slipped it on as I turned the light off in my room and walked into the small living room, which was right in front of my bedroom, of the small apartment I lived in with Cathee. The living room was a mess as a matter of fact; papers, scissors, glue, construction paper, a board, and so many other things spread around, but in the center of all the mess was Cathee - who had her brown and blonde hair in a messy bun, some pieces from the front hair framing her face as she hovered over her board with a purple permanent marker tracing over the lines she drew on it.

"How's it coming along?" I asked, watching as she looked up at me.

"Fine, but I still have a lot to go." Cathee replied as she placed the cap back on the marker. "Sorry about tonight..."

"Neh, it's fine. School's more important, just don't tell Jenni I invited you first. She might throttle me," I replied and made Cathee laugh.

"I won't, be careful. And don't let your mystery boy get in those jeans-"

"He is not some mystery boy, I got invited and it's a free party. I have better things to do then chase after boys," I replied as I took a seat on the couch as Cathee shook her head.

"So, Brian doesn't count?" Cathee questioned, and I should bang my fist into her head for bringing it up.

"I did not chase him, he chased himself away. He wanted to leave, so I let him. End of story," I snapped. "Besides, he had his eyes on Adrienne, remember?"

"Not all guys are like Brian, stop comparing them." Cathee simply stated, and if it weren't for the fact that my foot was so damn far away - I would have kicked her in the head.

No, I wouldn't have but still... ok she's right and I'm wrong. But she didn't go through hell like I did, and she doesn't have to deal with a mind like mine. This fucked up, crazy mind that no one knows about, because I don't tell. Don't ask, don't tell, right? I stand corrected, but I kept my mouth shut as she cut at some construction paper, making a border for the white paper that was stained with black typed lettering, the information of her project and knowledge.

"He's cute," I replied. "I may be interested, but I'm not looking for anything out of it."

"That's all you had to say."

I snorted, hearing the phone ring and answering it quickly. It was Jenni, telling me to get my ass downstairs and that she was waiting for me. I hung up, saying good-bye to Jenni and made my way down to the lobby of the apartment complex I lived in. Slipping my hand into the pocket of my hoodie and gripping the pepper spray that was attached to my keys I ran out of the lobby and onto the sidewalk, looking over the dark red Honda that was sitting outside - waiting just for me. I got in quickly, I just hate the street I live on, and closed the door behind me, locking it and tugging on the seatbelt.

"Hello there love," Jenni's voice said as she took the car out of parking and drove off. "My you look mighty sexy tonight."

I chuckled looking over at Jenni who had her hair loose as usual; red highlights streaking through the brown locks and ended at the end of her shoulder blades. She wore a band tee - Green Day - and a pair of jeans that hugged the curves of her legs, hips, and waist perfectly. Some sneakers and a denim jacket finished off her outfit, and she couldn't look any better.

"Why thank, you look sexy yourself dear." I replied as I finished buckling up and stared out the window. "So you know where this place is?"

"Yes ma'am, been here before. I don't know how you got those tickets though, place has been sold out for 2 weeks already," Jenni replied.

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Yeah, there's new band running around that everyone is talking about, something Romance, I don't know. They sound good," Jenni continued going on about the band.

"Something Romance? What kind of a name is that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No you silly little twat, the name of the band has Romance in it but there's something before it," Jenni replied with a chuckle. "You're so stupid."

I took out the tickets from my pocket while replying to Jenni with a 'fuck you whore, shut up' and looked over them. "My Chemical Romance?"

"That one! Heard they were good, who else is there?"

"Pencey Prep... what kind of a fucking name is Pencey Prep?" I yelped as I read it. "Sounds like a cheerleading squad."

Jenni simply laughed out loud, calling me crazy and made another turn down a street and after that... I had no idea where we were.

----*-----

The bar wasn't huge, neither was it small; it was just... medium? Didn't matter, because it was jammed packed with people and there was a line about half a block for people who didn't have tickets but more than willing to pay at the door. Lucky for me I had tickets, so I just walked through the door with Jenni and BOOM! We were in, a band was already playing and you can just see everyone bouncing around to their songs.

"Oh my god! This place is awesome!" Jenni yelled over the music, taking off her jacket and swinging it over her shoulder. "I love you so much Nikki!"

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and hugged me tightly, adding a nice wet, sloppy kiss on my cheek. I yelped out in disgust, cold spit wasn't really my thing and I pinched her ass, telling her to 'release me or else.'

"I'm getting something to drink," I told her. Jenni nodded her head, going towards the pit of bouncing bodies and joined in the fun. I made it to the bar with much struggle, ordering a beer and sighed softly once my lips crashed with the cold, foamy liquid. I haven't had one in so damn long, I took another sip and sighed happily as it went down my throat and the foul taste lingered on my tongue. My fingernails tapped on the bottle... if Jenni catches me with this, I'm dead. I had quit, I quit drinking and I quit cutting. But I have nothing else! I have no love of my life, that left me a long time ago, I have a mind that not even I understand, I hate my life, I hate that half the time I act emo.

That's how it all starts! Some emo girl with a dramatic past and now she has nothing! Why do I have nothing?! I want something, anything it's the reason why I left my home - to make myself better, not so dramatic and emo, and to do something with myself.

Then fucking do something Nicole!

I grabbed the bottle, chugging down a swig from it and gasped for air when I was done. It didn't occur to me that the band stopped playing, and when I looked at the stage they were making their way off it, replacing them was a nice plump man who wobbled his way to the microphone.

"Our next performance is Eyeball Records very own, Pencey Prep!"

What kind of a fucking name is Pencey - oh... I think I might have judged a little too soon. Because walking on the stage with a guitar in his arms was Frank. Frank. He introduced his band, said the names of the song and played, and oh how he played. I forgot about the half empty bottle of cold beer, getting up from the stool I sat in and walked towards the stage. Pushing and shoving my way through, I was determined to get to that stage.

I think of running away
I can't keep running away
Can't keep feeling the same
I can't keep taking the blame

I kept my eyes on him, watching him sing and play his guitar. The stage, I was almost there, I was almost to the front.

I wanna run with you
I don't care what we do,
Gotta get out of this place,
Because it feels like yesterday

I reached out for the stage, my fingertips touched the edge - I was almost there! It was right at my grasp, I reached further, stretching my arm and feeling my armpit burn from the extra stretch. My fingers grabbed the edge of the stage and I pulled myself past the sweating bodies that surrounded me, taking in a breath in the small space they had in the front. I made it, when I looked up at Frank his mouth was making perfect shapes to go with his words, his nimble fingers going at it on the strings of the guitar. I've never played a guitar before, I know nothing about the instrument, just if you are a beginner it's frustrating and hard.

Day, day, day oh oh oh
There we go
Can't be wrong
'Cause it feels like yesterday

He paid no attention to the bouncing crowd in front of him, the girls screaming his name and begging for his attention. His hazel eyes were on his guitar or on the microphone - they were his distraction, his focus. Why didn't I see that day at the store that he was a musician? It should have been obvious, but then again look at me... don't answer that. Frank had a small bounce to him as he played and sang, but it didn't ruin anything - no, it intensified it more. Making it seem he was just reading to pounce all over the stage.

I can't be wrong
I'm re-living yesterday
I can't be wrong
Cause it feels like yesterday
I can't be wrong
I'm re-living yester-

A guitar section played in, and Frank leaned back onto one leg and put all his attention on his guitar that is until he looked over at someone - his eyes slightly widened, bottom lip dropped a little and he stared at me like I walking past the door with a heavenly light to make my presence known. He shook his head quickly, going back to his microphone. Singing, playing, bouncing - he was amazing. Just wow.

I ended up swaying with the music, trying my best to mutter the words along with him - it was the first time I heard the song, give me some slack here! As the music hit into another guitar section Frank bobbed his head, banging it violently and bounced around the stage, spinning and twirling - it was just this beautiful chaotic mess. I just stood there, gawking like the idiot I was and watched as spit flew from his mouth and over to the crowds. Normally I would be disgusted - I think we've discussed that I'm not a spit person - but that... I don't even know what that was.

But it sure was something different from all the things I've seen in my life.

I didn't bounce, I didn't jump, I didn't bang my head or scream or yell - just swayed and muttered the words. I have a new band to add to my favorites...

------------------------------------------

My eyes slightly widened when I watched Jenni gulp down an entire bottle of sprite, placing the bottle on the counter and burped when she finished. She wiped her mouth with her hand and exhaled heavily - she was sweating from head to toe and when she joined me at the bar she was dieing from lack of thirst. Frank and his band finished 30 minutes ago, and I was still in my own shock that he was on stage - playing with the band that I said sounded like a cheerleading squad.

"Been here all this time?" Jenni asked as she leaned on her elbows, bringing her face close to mine so I could hear her over the next band that was playing.

"No, I was up front watching Pencey Prep."

"I thought you said they were going to be whack cause of their name? See! You always judge too soon!"

"Shut up! No on asked you!" I yelped back as I playfully smacked her arm as she laughed and ordered two more sprites.

"Make one of those a coke," I told the bartender and he simply nodded his head at me.

"So, have you seen lover boy yet?" Jenni asked, swaying from side to side.

"Stop that, and yes as a matter of fact I have seen him." I replied.

"Really? Where is he?"

"He was on stage... he was the lead singer of Pencey Prep." I said as I scratched the back of my neck and waited for Jenni to reply.

She bursted into fits of laughter, smacking her hand into the counter and I simply glared at her like she lost her damn mind. The bartender placed the drinks in front of us and I was very tempted to pour Jenni's drink all over her. "So it's that Frank?"

"What the hell are you talking about woman," I replied and this is not as amusing to me as it is to her.

"Frank Iero, he goes to Rutgers with me, we have a few classes together," Jenni said as her laughter died down to giggles. "He did mention to me about a pretty girl in the record store, I don't think I was paying attention though. You like Frank?"

"I don't even know him Jenni!" I yelped, as she laughed some more, grabbing her sprite and taking a long sip from it. "I don't find this all that funny."

"I do, you two are so not meant for each other." Jenni giggled. "I mean Frank is so dirty and manly - your so neat and clean and just so damn cute!"

Jenni pinched my cheek and I smacked her hand away, grabbing my coke and took a sip from it. Her laughs and giggles died down until the only noise was the music and the people around us, she stared ahead as she grabbed her bottle of sprite and took a small sip from it.

"Don't judge him so soon Nikki, he's a lot more deeper than he leads on." Jenni said suddenly and when I looked over at her she was still staring ahead at the different bottles of liquor that was displayed before us. "He's a really great guy, he might not be your dream guy but don't let that stop you from seeing who he really is."

Jenni took another sip from her soda, turning towards me as she kissed my cheek and walked away to the crowd she emerged from not too long ago. I watched as her hair swayed from side to side, disappearing into the sweaty pit of bodies and I turned to my drink. I called the bartender, told him to give me a beer and I sipped slowly at the intoxicating drink once I got my hands on it. It wasn't as delightful as my first one for the night - but it sure as hell wouldn't be my last. A body took the stool Jenni once sat in and I simply stared down at my hands, my chipped fingernails tapping at the cold glass that had water beading down its side.

"I see you like my band."

When I looked up I was met with a pair of hazel eyes and a small grin that belonged to a sweaty, but delightful, face. I smiled softly at him, turning the bottle of beer so the label was facing away from him. "I had no idea you were in a band Frank."

"Well, I thought I would surprise you." Frank replied as the bartender handed him something he must have ordered while I was observing my fingers. "So, what did you think?"

"You were amazing," I replied but then put a hand over my ear as I looked over at the band that was playing. The damn drummer was hitting the drum too damn hard.

"Thanks," Frank replied with a smile as he took a sip from his beer. "You look miserable."

"I'm in a bar full of sweaty bodies, why wouldn't I be miserable?" I said with a smile and Frank returned my comment with a laugh.

"I was thinking of leaving soon, how about you come join me?" Frank asked, and this is where my defense wall went straight up.

To be blunt I was invisible in the dating world - the last boyfriend I had was when I was 16 which turned out to be a total flop because I was insecure and I didn't trust him at all. We fought, broke up, and I was still alive to see another day. Now here was a rather cute guy sitting in front of me, offering his time to be spent with me.

"I-I don't know," I replied as I scratched the back of my head softly and Frank slightly tilted his head to the side.

"Oh come on, I don't bite. Plus, the food here sucks." Frank said. "Just some food and a walk in the park? Then I can walk you home if you want, I promise no funny business."

No funny business - well he was offering something and I was more than glad to leave this bar. I really didn't want to stay anyway... "Ok, but first I want to see a band really quick. Something Romance..."

"My Chemical Romance? Oh sure! They kick ass... though the lead singer and bass player are usually drunk," Frank replied smugly and I laughed at him.

"You know them?" I asked, taking a sip from the bottle before me and swallowed down the burning liquid.

"Yeah, love their band. I met them through Mikey," Frank stated. Wait - Mikey? No, he can't possibly talk about the Mikey I know. Could he?

Well look at it this way - Mikey was friends with everyone, and no he was not the shy type like everyone would expect him to be, actually his brother is kind of quiet when I first met him... what was his name again? Jared?

"Mikey? As in Mikey Way?" I asked - for the sake of asking.

"Yeah! You know Mikey?" Frank responded excitedly.

"Heh, more than you know."

Want to hear my thoughts on this? If both Jenni and Mikey know Frank, two people I just so happened to know and hang out with, then the universe (or God) is telling me something - I'm supposed to meet Frank. Now this is not a religious thing or the path I am to follow, no far from that. Though I do believe fate might have a little play in this and the little voice in my head kept repeating itself...

Don't judge him so soon Nikki, he's a lot deeper than he leads on.