Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Master of the Game.

I Knew I Loved You

by ClandestineUnited 3 reviews

Knowing someone has feelings for you can be the greatest feeling in the world. But having feelings for someone you know you shouldn't can be... well, a pain in the ass. But oh so good when the thou...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-06-06 - Updated: 2007-06-06 - 2435 words

OK, I have school for three more weeks now until I get off for summer break on June 30, so I'm really sorry if chapters don't go up as quickly as before. I'll try my hardest but hopefully you have the other ones to re-read before I post a new one up. Then during summer I'll have more time to write as well. Thank you for the lovely reviews on the last few chapters. =]
Oh, and this chapter is set a month after the kids are born.
Also, FicWad has been a whore, and it's taken me three hours to manage to get to this page. Haha.

"Patrick? I know you're there, pick up the fucking phone!" Pete's voice rang throughout the house over Patrick's answering machine. Patrick moaned and rolled over in his bed, grabbing the phone.
"Pete, I appreciate the concern but stop swearing when my kids can hear you."
"They're hardly gonna repeat it, are they?" Pete argued.
"What's up, Pete?" Patrick asked, sitting up and rubbing his eye with his free hand.
"We, um, have some news. Can I come round?"
"Uh..." Patrick hesitated. It was late at night and he had just managed to get Danielle and Josh to sleep, spending hours singing to them, rocking them and and desperately trying to stop them crying. If Pete came around now he would forget to be quiet and bounce around yelling obscenities without realizing, and being his hyper self.
"You know what? I think we should meet up tomorrow."
"No, Patrick. This is serious. It's about our career. Alright, I understand, you just got the twins to sleep, right?"
"Right." Patrick said.
"And I know you reeeeally can't bear to be parted with them right now but, what if Jenny watched them? Just for a while?"
"It's 11 pm, Pete."
"I know, but this is serious, Patrick. Please? Joe and Andy are here, we need to talk about this."
Patrick muttered under his breath before caving.
"Fine. Send Jenny round and I'll be there after she comes."

"Thank you so much, Jenny." Patrick said, pulling on his shoes and picking up his car keys.
"No problem. I think you need to talk to the guys. My God, Patrick, how much sleep have you gotten?"
"Not a lot." Patrick said, laughing nervously. Jenny scanned his face, took in his bloodshot eyes and the circles surrounding them. His body seemed too physically weak to let him stand up straight, and he shifted his feet more than usual, as if he had to have something to do to keep him occupied.
"How're you coping?"
"Well, you know, I have a constant headache, they don't stop crying and I keep messing up. And I've had about 3 hours sleep in one month and I've hardly eaten, and I get so pissed off with myself I just wanna rip my hair out. But it's so, so worth it. Just seeing them... it makes everything alright again."
"You're one of a kind, Patrick." Jenny told him, and he blushed and shrugged.
"I gotta... go." Patrick said, suddenly feeling very nervous. Feeling Jenny's eyes on him made him shiver, and he ducked his head and left the house as quick as he could, that natural father feeling of missing his children already flooding his insides.
"Hey! You're here." Pete said, opening the door when Patrick rang the doorbell.
"Yeah. Is everything OK?"
"I think so."
Patrick felt even more uneasy as he entered Pete's living room with him. There he found Joe and Andy sitting on the edge of the couch, and on a separate couch was their manager, Bob.
"Bob! What are you doing here?" Patrick asked.
"Heyyy, it's my favorite father." Bob grinned, raising his glass he was drinking from at Patrick. Patrick nodded and gave him a quick wave before sitting down.
"So what's going on?" Joe asked, annoyed from being wrenched out of a 'sleep over' with his girlfriend.
"Well, you guys. I have news - you know you're gonna record the new record in like, a month, right?"
They all nodded and Bob continued.
"There's a catch to it being recorded. It's being recorded in California."
"Wow!" Joe, Andy and Pete all jumped up and high fived each other, while Patrick stayed sitting. He could almost sense what was coming.
"Guys, don't get too excited. In order for it to be recorded, you're going to have to move out there."
"Awesome!" Andy and Joe yelled, turning round and this time only high fiving each other. Pete's face dropped slightly and Patrick's leg began to shake, his nervous habit.
"I guess... I guess I could do that." Pete said, trying to think of how it would affect his relationship with Jenny. He'd never had a proper long distance relationship before. He'd had a girlfriend when they'd toured different countries before, but that was different. He wasn't living with her or in love with her.
"You alright Pete?" Bob asked. Pete nodded.
"Yeah, yeah I am. I'll work it out." He agreed.
"Look, Patrick, I understand your situation," Bob said, coming over to him and sitting down next to him, "And I completely understand if you don't want to do it. You know, we can record your vocal parts here or something, we can work it out so you can be with your kids."
"No, no. I mean, it'll be hard, but... I guess it could work. I mean they're real young so moving them won't affect them, it's just Christina..."
"Dude, she didn't even want to live with them!" Joe butted in, and immediately Bob, Andy and Pete all turned and pressed their fingers to their lips.
"Well, we can arrange for her to..."
"No, she's not coming out. That would be a nightmare - she wants to be a model. And being in LA would be too good for her."
Bob nodded.
"Well, talk it over with her, alright? We'll do whatever it takes to get this ball rolling but making sure you're all fine with it. Call me within the week, guys."
"Patrick, we understand..." Andy started as Bob closed the front door.
"No, you guys. I'll talk to Christina. However hard it is for me, I guess the kids can stay with her if she wants - and if she doesn't, then they move with me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. This is my job. It's no problem for me buying a place out there or something, it's just Christina, you know what she's like."

"So, uh, I kinda needed to talk to you."
"Alright, please make it quick, I gotta go to the doctors."
"Why?" Patrick asked, immediately worried. Christina shifted nervously and blushed.
"It's kinda personal."
"Christina, I held your hand while you gave birth. What's more personal than that?"
Christina wriggled around and avoided eye contact.
"I'm getting my stitches out."
"What stitch... oh." Patrick said. "Alright, I'm not embarrassed I asked."
"I am! So what did you want to talk about?"
"Um, do you not wanna go see Josh and Danni first?" Patrick asked. Christina looked at her watch and bit her lip.
"I really have to go soon."
Patrick sighed. He sat down next to her and turned to face her.
"OK, here's the thing, you know we're recording the record soon, right?"
"Well, it's... being recorded in LA."
"Really? That's cool." Christina said, in the exact same tone she'd used every other time Patrick had come bounding home, excited for some new project he was going to undertake. She always sounded bored, like she had better things to talk about than his music. Patrick couldn't deny it hurt him, he loved his music more than anything, but he also loved Christina, so every other time he'd pushed it out of his mind, along with this time.
"Yeah, well, um. What would you say if I took the kids? I mean, if you're not cool with that they can stay with you."
"No, no, that's fine. I'm sure they'll have a great time." She replied, standing up and picking up her purse. Patrick was extremely irritated, no, fuming with anger that she could care less about where he took them, or when she saw them. Now, Patrick himself couldn't breathe without his children. He couldn't understand how Christina could dismiss them so blatantly. But he was in no hurry to get in Christina's bad books again, and he knew she would go so far as considering actually taking him to court for a custody battle, meaning it would cause another fight between them. And he was in no position to lose his children.
"Alright, well, I'll give you the address of where we live and you can come stay, whatever, we'll make it work." Patrick said.
"Mmmhmm." Christina said in agreement. Patrick bit his lip.
"OK, I gotta go." Christina walked past him. "Take care."
She was gone before Patrick could open his mouth to reply.

"Mom, I don't wanna be rude here, but, I'm not asking for praise, I just wanna know what you would /do/." Patrick asked the next evening, finally able to sit down and relax. He lay on the sofa, his head throbbing, rubbing his hand on his forehead as he spoke.
"/Honey, you have to go with your heart. Seriously, if Christina is too self absorbed to care about Josh and Danielle, then you're entitled to take them to LA with you/."
"I know, it just seems so unfair."
"Patrick, be realistic here. Christina's left them with you - you're all they have right now. And you have a job to do - and as a father it's your job to adjust to both of those. So take them to LA with you and do your job. There's no shame in that. You want to go, right?"
"Yeah, but -"
"Then go! If worst comes to worst you can come back here and record. You have nothing to lose."
"I guess. Thanks, mom."
"No problem, honey. Are you sure you're OK over there, all by yourself?"
"I'm fine, really. Everything's good, I'm coping OK." He replied.
After Patrick lay listening to his mother talking for another half an hour, telling him how proud she was he was independent, and all of the congratulations people in his old neighborhood had been giving her, he couldn't take it anymore.
"That's great, mom, really, but to be honest, I'm really tired."
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You need all the rest you can get. So I'll let you go and you can get yourself off to bed."
"Thanks, I'll be...-" Patrick was cut off by the baby monitor screeching by his ears. He groaned and sat up.
"Mom, I gotta go."
"They probably need fed, or changed, or..."
"Alright, mom, I got it, I love you, bye." He said quickly, replacing the phone and darting upstairs, as fast as his exhausted legs would carry him. As soon as he got to the door of their bedroom, the crying stopped. Patrick groaned again and banged his head on the door frame, instantly making his headache increase.
"I gotta go to bed." He said to himself, and crept along the hallway. He took off his clothes except from his underwear and crawled into bed, lying with his eyes closed and allowing the sleep and exhaustion to envelope him. It circled around his body, almost numbing his legs and body, and his eyelids were heavy, weighing him down, and the last thing he remembered was turning on his side.
Before he woke up again.
The screeching was back, now driving Patrick to the point where he wanted to throw the baby monitor at the wall just to stop the noise. He clumsily got out of bed and pulled on his T-shirt again, walking through to the kids room, his head throbbing manically. The sky outside was bathed in blackness and the house was silent asides from the crying.
"Shh, oh God, please be quiet." Patrick said, looking at the twins. It was Josh crying. He was always the one crying, while Danielle slept peacefully, nly waking up at the same times each day.
"Hey, Josh, be quiet for daddy, huh?" Patrick pleaded, picking him up and rocking him. "Please be quiet..."

"Maybe I should go round and see if Patrick needs a hand?" Jenny had asked earlier that evening. Pete was slouched on the sofa absorbed in the TV documentary about Ian Curtis, his eyes fixed on the TV.
"Huh?" He grunted, not taking his eyes off the screen.
"You'll be OK for an hour, won't you?" Jenny called, standing by the door.
"Hey, whoah, hey!" Pete suddenly said as she put her hand on the door handle. He jumped up and was at her side in an instant.
"Where are you going?"
"I was gonna give Patrick a hand. So he can have a rest."
Pete laughed and shook his head.
"Jenny, being tired is Patrick's job now. He has kids - just accept it. It's his job now."
"Yes, but we're his friends, and he needs a hand."
"Not every second of the day, Jen."
"I just-"
"Baby, you're always round there now. Patrick's not an idiot, he can cope. I know it sounds mean but he's got to learn to face it on his own - if you're helping him all the time he'll become totally dependent on everyone else. Plus, a father has to bond with his child, especially since Christina's not interested."
"Pete, I'm ju-"
"Leave him, Jenny! He's a big boy, he can look after himself and his kids! Quit worrying about him. Seriously, let's just have some time on our own for a bit, and forget about Patrick..." Pete said, sliding his hands around her waist and pulling her close. At first Jenny's head resisted, but at the mention of Patrick's name she felt a shiver up her spine as Pete's lips brushed gently against hers, his fingertips running up her back and down again. She gave in and let out a slow moan as Pete lowered her gently onto the stairs, but she was oblivious to his touch, his scent, his lips fixed on hers.
"Wishing to be the friction in your jeans..." Pete whispered, with a slight chuckle as he caressed her neck with his hands and kissed her again. Instead, Jenny heard that lyric in a soft sing song voice, one that captures millions and made the band what they were. She thought of no one else during the love making than the face behind that beautiful singing voice...
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