FicWad

(Bows to Saro.)


The fanfiction.net guys decided that I can't be Ithilwen any more.

KURAMA: They probably have their reasons.

True.

KURAMA: What are you going to do?

I'm having a NAME THAT ME contest!

Both "Ithilwen" and "Ithil" are taken. I'd still like a name with that in there somewhere because "Ithilwen" is still my username at mediaminer, and I don't want some well-meaning citizen to hit the plagiarism button. I'm not ruling anything out, though. I picked "Ithilwen" in the first place because it's Tolkein elvish for "moon girl." My real name is Diana Rose Flynn. I'm from New Jersey but I just finished school in NYC for-what are you doing?

KURAMA: (With notepad) My lawyer will want to know this.

The winner will receive the scene of his or her choice - anything below NC-17 - to be posted either as a one-shot or if it fits, as part of one of my stories. Runners up get a packet containing outtakes from "This Can't Be Good."

KURAMA: That's self-serving and ineffectual.

And a cameo on the Kurama arc.

KURAMA: What-?! No!

If interested, please email suggestions for my new screenname to drf24@columbia.edu.

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Kagome turned away from the Mura boy at the sound of voices coming through the trees.

"I'm not wrong about this!"

"While it is possible that your grandmother had the power to see through illusions, we cannot be sure that you inherited it."

She motioned to Shippo to hold the boy steady on Kirara's back as she slipped off into the trees.

"Listen! We need to do something about this before someone gets-"

"Pay attention, Hojo," Miroku's voice was stern. Kagome began to walk faster. "You are lucky to be alive after what you did, and when/ she/ figures it out-"

"When who figures what out?" she ducked under a branch as both men turned her way.

Miroku opened his mouth to answer, looking at Hojo and back.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Guy talk?" she asked.

"Um," Hojo stammered, "Sort of..."

"Well Sango and I are waiting for you both. It's getting dark, and we should really get Mrs. Mura's grandson home today."

"Well, we'd better get going then," Hojo answered, motioning to Miroku that they follow her. The monk made a low sound.

"You say something, Miroku?" she asked innocently.

"No, nothing..."

Kagome snickered. All this time with Inuyasha, and he didn't think she knew a muttered curse word when she heard one? Whatever they'd been talking about, Hojo must have really annoyed Miroku. I wonder if they were talking about Sango before, she thought, putting one hand to her mouth. Her thoughts set. And it would serve that pervy jerk right if she likes Hojo instead of him! Miroku might like being around Sango - sometimes Kagome thought he even liked the fights - but a lot of the time, it was clear his interest was elsewhere. Flirting with every woman he sees... Maybe even if Hojo goes back home, Miroku will realize that Sango might not wait around for him to grow a brain about girls. And if he couldn't get back home... Well... Hojo wasn't intimidated by a strong woman, and he treated Sango like the lady she was.

The tajiya waved as the three of them came back into view. There was a whisper behind her as they walked, "Maybe you do have that kind of demon here," Hojo was saying, "and they just never got caught."

"Maybe, you should open your eyes, Hojo," Miroku's whisper cracked bitterly.

"Ka/go/me!" she looked down to see Shippo tugging insistently at her ankle, "He threw up /again/."

She winced, "Not all over Kirara?"

"No," he gave a shrug, "but Sango sure isn't happy..."

Miroku cringed. Kagome opened her mouth to ask what he was so upset about, but Shippo gave a hop, small feet scrabbling against her waistband, and she had to swing her arm around in time to keep him from falling backwards off her hip. She tried to fake a scowl, but just couldn't do it.

"Shippo! Don't you have your own feet?"

He gave a perfect laugh and shook his head.

"So I have to carry you all the way back?" she asked in horror.

"Uh huh!" his small hands fisted in her shirt. She hid a smile and kept walking, one hand light against Shippo's back, just barely riding back and forth with his breathing.

"But..." another whisper behind her. Kagome rolled her eyes. "But I get this chill in my heart!" Hojo was telling the reluctant priest. "Like someone's walking over my grave."

"Then perhaps you should invest in warmer clothing," snapped the monk.

For goodness' sake; I'm not deaf!

"Where's Inuyasha?" asked Sango. "Priest, wasn't he with you?"

"Ah..." Miroku held up a hand. "He was, but-"

"He needed to blow off some steam," Hojo finished. "He was really upset before."

"Upset?" Kagome asked him, "about what?"

"Um..."

Oh not again... Kagome sighed. Why couldn't Inuyasha just accept that Hojo had a lot to learn and move on? Sure, the modern boy had been an absolute bonehead during the battle, but it wasn't as if he was trying to give people a hard time. With a tug, she slid Shippo off her hip and set him on the ground by Kirara's feet. "I'll go find him," she sighed.

"You shouldn't go by yourself, Higurashi!" insisted Hojo. He took a step back the way they'd come, and found his way blocked by Miroku's staff.

"That is perhaps true," said the monk, "however, I think you are not, perhaps, the best person to accompany her."

"But you-"

"Oh stop it," Kagome waved at them. "Inuyasha does this all the time. He's probably just off sulking by himself somewhere."


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"WHAT the-?!"

Kouga launched himself to the side in time to lose a chunk of hair instead of the left half of his throat.

"I'm gonna use your wrist bones for tweezers, you reeking wolf!"

Where had that come from?

Dog breath landed heavily, gouging deep cuts into the earth beneath him as he shook the brown threads off his claws and came at him again.

It wasn't that Inu-koro had caught him off guard, not really... Kouga was as eager as ever to give him the sound beating he kept asking for. It was just that usually the fighting match didn't come until after the boasting-and-insult match. Kouga usually had to throw a half-dozen good ones at him before he'd really get down to it. This time, the dog demon had struck first, and only offering his worthless threats once the fight had begun in earnest.

He grinned. Getting into it this way really saved a lot of time!

Kouga dodged another iron slash at the absolute last second, flicking his head over his shoulder to see his opponent overbalance and sprawl. The wolf prince pivoted, landing a heavy kick between his shoulder blades. Kouga smirked, buzzing on the steady power from the Shikon shards in his legs.

"Goowf!" For all that Inu-koro liked to boast and shove the Dog Lord's fang in people's faces, it sure felt like kicking a human spine. Kouga's nose wrinkled. A mortal body and a dog's sour scent. The poor guy couldn't win, could he?

"Drop something, dog breath?" he asked, "Back down!"

"Not a fucking chance, wolf turd!"

Kouga started as his opponent flipped to his feet, "I should have done this a long time ago." The seething dog demon coiled in on himself like a viper and struck outward, fangs gleaming like twin blades as the light failed. Kouga crouched and dodged sideways, knocking the red-clad arm aside and scoring a punch to his shoulder.

Inu-koro didn't miss a beat, turning back on him almost before his feet hit the ground. Kouga dodged again, but this time dog breath followed his move and actually scored skin. The wolf prince's felt his eyes go just a little wide.

Dog breath doesn't have the brains to guess my moves! Kouga ducked under another slash and aimed a kick to Inu-koro's rib cage. The puny mutt usually just swung his father's sword around like a stick until it hit something or broke out with that damned wind scar. Something is making him focus...

At least this explained why there had been nothing by shredded corpses at the serpents' den.

Inu-koro slipped the kick and came back with a punch to Kouga's cheekbone. What the fuck had gotten into him? He was moving as if he actually knew how to win. The wolf reeled, jumping back before the dog demon could follow up. Kouga dove and struck again, surprised to find a grin on his face.

About time you did more than waste my time, dog breath! Kouga made a swipe at Inuyasha's midsection. The dog demon made an impressive twist midair and escaped, smirking. So this is how he fights when he keeps that overgrown knife in its sheath. Not to be outdone, the wolf prince faked a kick with one knee and slammed the opposite instep down right on one deformed little ear. Inuyasha was only stunned for a heartbeat, fending off a blow to his stomach.

Swords were human conceits, easily broken, and good for little but impressing the weaklings. Claws, fangs, wits - which Inu-koro suddenly seemed to have - this was a demon fight! Maybe the guy had finally come to his senses.

A chuckle rose in his throat. An image came to mind all the same. "What's the matter, dog breath?" Kouga taunted, "Can't enlarge your sword?" the dog demon's eyes glinted, "Or is it just that my Kagome turned you down? You should have known that she could do better!"

Inuyasha gave an unintelligible snarl and lashed out before Kouga could fully slip aside. The wolf demon blinked, more surprised at the vehemence of Inuyasha's response than by the fact that he'd actually landed one.

"You shut your ugly hole about Kagome!" the dog demon seethed and seemed to shudder from his good ear to his bare feet.

"I can talk about her all I want, dog breath," he answered with real ire. "She's my woman; she'll be with me when this is done," Inu-koro's anger hadn't come from nowhere. What if it had something to do with Kagome? What if he really had tried to-

"She's never been yours!" Inuyasha flexed one half-transformed hand, smooth claws gleaming in the dim, "I should kill you this time," he answered, breathing hard.

"You can barely land a punch!" he shot back, gauging the distance for another strike. He narrowed his eyes at the rage in him. /Maybe he IS having 'trouble,' /Kouga shook his head. Right now he had better things to think about than some other guy's-

"I don't believe this!"

The voice came out of nowhere. Inuyasha's head turned. He swore once. Kouga kicked him in the head. He swore again and went down. This left the wolf prince free to find the source of the sound.

...a rumpled, tufty-haired, rather odd-looking human. Kouga frowned. Maybe it was that so few of them looked him straight in the eye like that.

"You must be Kouga," he said with what as either confidence or stupidity. The wolf prince narrowed his eyes, feeling the shards give another throb of power. He inhaled the night air. Nothing about this young man's scent seemed out of the ordinary, though a heavy reek of snake youkai was covering the subtler parts of his scent. The human looked him up and down, "You'd pretty much have to be Kouga. You two were just fighting over Higurashi, weren't you?"

Higur- Oh. Kagome.

"And what if we were?" Kouga leveled his gaze at the boy and struck his most intimidating pose.

"That's barbaric!"

He wasn't cowering. Why wasn't he cowering?!

"You're fighting over a real person like she was a piece of food!" the human was waving his arms. Kouga couldn't get his mouth to close. Part of him
wanted to tear the boy's tongue out through his ears for giving a lecture about his woman. And not fighting? Did he would have backed down in front of Inu-koro?

"Friend of yours, Inu-koro?" Kouga sneered, "Inu-koro?" he looked down. "Wake up, dog breath! This is no time to sleep!" he gave the other demon a kick and pointed to the human. "Tell me who that is or I'll kill him."

Inuyasha gave a groan and sat up, "Promise?"


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"Which way did he go?" Kagome stamped her foot on the ground. "I can't believe he tried to follow me! He's going to get himself lost out here."

Miroku gave a sigh. Getting lost was the least of Hojo's problems if he ran into Inuyasha while he was still angry.

Kagome fumed quietly. "You didn't have to come with me, you know."

The monk paused before answering, "That's true, I suppose," he said, "but if it should happen to take more than Lady Kaede's beads to-"

"...told you to get out of my sight!"

Inuyasha's voice, and not far ahead. Kagome didn't miss a beat, shoving at the branches in her way as she floundered toward the sound.

Wait...

The shouting didn't stop, and it wasn't Inuyasha anymore. Miroku squinted into the dim as Kagome's back went stiff. "Shikon shards," she whispered sharply. He pulled in a breath and took a firmer grip on his staff. "Two of them! And a presence of-"

A wave of surprise and dismay passed over the girl's body. Miroku stepped toward her and leaned in to catch her answer. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's Kouga!" she hissed.

"Kouga is here?" he inquired sharply. If the wolf demon had encountered Inuyasha while he was in such a rage... Miroku suppressed a shudder. Even if the both lived, it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

But as long as he was over here... His left hand flexed.

Kagome nodded, "And Hojo said that Inuyasha was angry to begin with! What if he does something-eeeep!" Kagome jumped bolt upright and yanked herself away. Miroku grinned.

Kagome snatched a rock off the ground and sent it bouncing right off his head. Worth it! "Do you always have to do that?!"

"Kagome," he answered in a voice smirking with holiness, "I only mean to-"

A painfully familiar voice cracked the twilight. "...know this is the medieval times and all, but that's no excuse!"

That sounded like...

"Is that Hojo?" asked Miroku. The two of them exchanged a glance and renewed their pace through the brush. The monk paused when he caught a flash of Inuyasha's red hakama through the leaves. He cast his eyes about for a place to hide.

"Kagome!" he whispered sharply, gesturing toward a spreading pine, "perhaps we had best see how this plays out before we interfere. I think we can both fit under here."

The girl narrowed her eyes at him, and then his hands and then at him, "I'll watch from over here, thanks."

"My dear, Kagome, what are you implying?"

"...and from what Miroku and Miss Sango told me, you do this all the time!" Hojo was seething, "Do you think that she'll like you more just because you can beat someone up?"

Miroku closed his eyes. Hojo was going to die if he kept this up. Kagome peered through the branches. The light was almost gone, but she could just see the side of Kouga's face. His eyebrows had run up and hid behind his headband, his mouth a half-gaping grimace.

Hojo had left the both of them ...too dumbfounded to move?

"What, do you think that she's your girlfriend just because you say so?"

"Well, actually-"

"And you! You treat Higurashi like dirt half the time! She works her skin raw trying to keep up with you. You both have the maturity of four year-olds!"

Hojo was being terribly foolhardy, but... Miroku covered a chuckle with one hand. For all his own oversights, it looked like the modern boy was forcing the wolf prince to think - and it looked a bit painful for the poor guy. "He makes a few good points," he admitted mirthfully. "Who knew he had it in him? Though Hojo may be a fool in some respects, at times he truly-"

"-you and that excuse for a monk!" Hojo towered. "Higurashi and Miss Sango both have the patience of saints!"

Miroku choked. Why that little...

"I don't know who you are, human," Kouga finally found his tongue. "Maybe dog breath lets you get away with something like that, but I sure won't!"

"His power's building!" Kagome hissed. "He's going to attack!" she started to move.

"Wait!" Miroku insisted. "I think that-"

"Let go of me, Inu-koro!"

A growl. Another.

"Are you boys going to fight again? No one's impressed!"

"Shut up, asshole!" Inuyasha roared. "Even this wimpy scrap of a wolf could tear you into lunch meat if I decide to let him."

"Who do you think you are, dog breath?"

The voices dropped so that Miroku could barely make out Inuyasha's answer. Something about, "She ... promise ... won't ..."

"...and since you basically can't do anything unless I choose not to stop it," the dog demon's loud arrogance was back. "That pretty much means you can't kill him either." A low, canine chuckle, and, "So unless you want to keep me company while I have to put up with his whiny crap, I think you should get your stinking tail gone!"

"We'll see about that!" seethed Kouga.

"Get lost, wolf! Don't let me catch you coming after..." Miroku frowned as Inuyasha broke off. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Inuyasha was sniffing the air! "...Kagome?" he called.

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KURAMA: If it's a name you want, I think I can save you the trouble...

Really?

KURAMA: Why don't you call yourself . . .

. . ? !