FicWad

Ryan's P.O.V.

We'd been talking for close to seven months and she hadn't even seen my face or talked to me on the phone or met me in person. That was what bothered me about her behavior. She was too open with me. We talked way too much on top of that, yet I was still afraid of how she'd react to who I was.

Camisado4eva: yo, Ry.wats wrong? ur awfully quiet 2nite.
Time2Dance: sry, Honor. I guess I'm just in one of my mood. I feel like writing another song but I don't know what to write.
Camisado4eva: lol.poor boy.
Time2Dance:yeah.poor me.
Camisado4eva:I feel bad 4 u. do u need a hug?
Time2Dance:lol.I haven't had one in such a long time.
Camisado4eva:aaaww.I'll have 2 give u a hug when u nd ur mates cum 2 NEPA 2 play a show.u nd I really gotta meet ^.u'd never b sad around me.

I smiled slightly, then felt the bus hit a pothole and was thrown in the air slightly.I nearly fell off of the bunk as I was tossed around as the bus hit yet another pothole.From the bottom bunk, I heard a loud groan and knew that that last bounce had shaken Spencer up from his deep sleep.The driver hit yet another pothole and I heard Brendon come off with a smartass remark about the potholes to Jon.I shook my head, and my slightly longish dark brown bangs fell over my face.I tossed my head to get my hair out of my face, then looked back down at the screen of my laptop as I heard Spencer groan again before he rolled over and went back to sleep.

Time2Dance:god.we'll be playing a show at Wachovia Arena in a few days.lol.
Camisado4eva:philly or wb?
Time2Dance:ummm.wilkes-barre?
Camisado4eva:lol.we so gotta meet up then.
Time2Dance:well, our show is the 15th.
Camisado4eva:hmm.same day as the P!ATD concert.r u guys on tour 2gether or sumthing?

I gulped when she mentioned the band's name.She didn't know who I was yet.I still hadn't told her that I was Ryan Ross, Panic! At The Disco's guitarist.All she knew me by was my middle name, Ryan, which I always used because I hated my first name.

Camisado4eva:if u r, umm, I don't mean 2 like ask ne favors of u or nething, but is there neway u could introduce me 2 Ryan Ross.I so idolize how well he composes all of panic!'s songs.
Time2Dance:ummm.we'll see.he doesn't have much time in his schedule for anything other than the band.

I felt slightly sick after I hit the Enter key.Since Honor and I had started talking, I'd lied to her about not liking having my pics taken so many times that it wasn't even funny.Luckily she didn't follow P!ATD info or schedules and to be quite frank, she didn't obsess about he band like most of our female fans did.The only thing that bothered me was that she seemed to out of nowhere, talk about how much she idolized me and my style and my lyrics and the most recent news dealing with me and well, frankly, she liked to talk about me a lot.Her mind was like stuck on talking about me and that was kinda why I hadn't told her who I was yet.But, I knew when we'd finally meet up that I'd have to tell her.I really only talked to her for one reason and one reason only; because she had a great personality when I got her off the subject of me.

Camisado4eva:well, if u could introduce me 2 him, then, hell, u'd bcum my new best friend nd I'd luv u more than I already do.
Time2Dance:hehe.now, Honor, u might regret saying that when u meet me.u can't possibly love me anymore than u already do.
Camisado4eva:rofl.o, yes, I can.u bring the tiger out in me nd even though I don't rly no wat u look like, cuz I never seen a pic of u, I have a feeling I'd jump u in a heartbeat, tho im not a slut or nething.it just I'm in luv wit ur personality.

My heart nearly stopped.We'd never talked about sex, well us having sex together that is.Honor had admitted to me that she wasn't a virgin, that she'd had sex once with her ex-boyfriend, who was killed less than a month later and she hadn't had a boyfriend or had sex at all in the ten months since he died.I'd told her that I'd had sex a few times and each time I said that, a small part of me died inside because I was lying.Being shy was my downfall there, for because of my shyness, I was still a virgin even though my ex-girlfriend was a total whore.Truth was that I liked Honor a lot and for once, I didn't feel so shy talking to her.She was so pretty and so sweet that I couldn't help but like her, except when she got stuck on talking about me, not knowing how bad it bothered me, but I could overlook it only by reminding myself of how much I seriously liked her.

Time2Dance:don't talk like that.
Camisado4eva:cum on, Ry.I can't help it.u n Ryan Ross r like prolly the only 2 guys on my mind recently.r.r. mainly cuz he n excellent song writer n oh so artistic n kinda a lil bit hot in my opinion, n ur on my mind 4 a reason idk rly.guess it must b ur charming personality.
Time2Dance:a) I know u like Mr. Ross alot but ur obsessed with him and it's making me uncomfortable.and b) we're gonna b in pa for a few days since we like just crossed the new york-pennsylvania border so like maybe u and I could meet up tomorrow.I'll introduce u to the RyMan if I can.
Camisado4eva:ooo.sry.I guess I am a lil bit obsessed wit him.
Time2Dance:he doesn't like that at all.
Camisado4eva:so I've heard.hey.umm.Ry, could u call me on my cell, cuz we rly should talk b4 we meet up?I've kinda actually been overly anxious 2 hear ur voice 4 the 1st time since like u 1st told me that ur in a band.u kinda got me thinking u have a great singing voice.

I chuckled.Even though if frusterated me that she was like obsessed with me, since she still didn't know who I was, it was great that she actually knew me as a person a bit.

Time2Dance:I could just 2-way u if u got Nextel.
Camisado4eva:ok.good thing 2-waying ppl is free on Nextel.h/o.I'll get u my PIN#.

'Ok' I typed, as I reached down to my belt and pulled my i730 from it's clip.I barely had time to create a phone book entry for her before she sent me her PIN number.

Camisado4eva:831964320
Time2Dance:added.I'm kinda nervous though, Honor.so, I might stammer or stutter a bit.

I sighed as I keyed Honor up for the first time.I don't know why my hand shook. "Hey, Honor.What's up?" My voice was shakey as I spoke but I couldn't help it at all.She didn't take long to respond.
"Hmmm.Hey, Ry.Nothing's up here.What's up with you?For some reason, I feel like I've heard your voice before but I can't place where I've heard it."
"I'm here bored.Listen, could we just talk over AIM in case the boys start making a racket?"
"Sure."
"Thanks." I clipped my Nextel back onto my belt and turned back to my laptop screen.

Camisado4eva:hhhmmm.not 2 sound obsessive but ur voice kinda reminds me of a certain P!ATD memeber's voice.

'No shit, Honor.That's cause I AM that certain P!ATD member!' I nearly typed but stopped myself in mid-sentence. 'Ohh.I can't tell her tonight unless I'm prepared to have her go spazztic.It'll be a bit of a surprise for her when we meet.'

Camisado4eva:hey, Ry, I don't mean 2 b a bother or a pain at all, but could u plz send me a pic of urself just so I won't wind up pummeling u 2 bits when we meet cuz u startled the hell out of me.
Time2Dance:ok.I'll take a pic of myself and send it to u.only thing is u can't see my whole face until when we meet up.if u see my whole face, u'll be like freaking out.
Camisado4eva:ok.but like is there a possibility that we could meet ^ 2morrow?
Time2Dance:sure, Honor.h/o.brb.

I sat my laptop on the bunk and rummaged through my bag next to me for my digital camera.When I looked back at my laptop, I saw Honor had turned her webcam on and was waiting for me to send my pic.I climbed down from the bunk and headed back to the small bathroom on the bus.After fiddling with my hair for a while, trying to get my bangs over my left eye to make myself appear younger, I realized that my shirt was a fricking v-neck and hurried to change it.Hopefully, Honor wouldn't recognize me, but just to be sure, I dug out the round black plate-like earring thingies that I'd worn all through high school from my bag and put myself through the pain of repiercing my ears since the holes had closed up long ago.After checking to make sure that my hair was covering my eye and that Honor wouldn't be able to see my other eye, I took a few quick pics and hurried back to the bunk, popping the earrings out because they hurt so much even though I'd had my holes gauged once.

Camisado4eva:oooo.sexi.lol.didn't tell me u were emo/xcore at all tho.u remind me of my friend TJ.
Time2Dance:thanx.

I smiled slightly and brushed my hair back out of my face.I really liked her a lot.....

Camisado4eva:hey, Ry.can I ask u a ?
Time2Dance:shoot away.
Camisado4eva:if u were Ryan Ross, would u tell me b4 we even make plans 2 meet ^?
Time2Dance:unfortunatly, though I trust u completely, seeing as how hormonal and how much u talk about him, I prolly wouldn't tell u cause u prolly wouldn't quit apologizing after I told u for being a bit obsessed with me when u talked to me.
Camisado4eva:ooo.ok.listen, since it's late, I should go get sum sleep b4 we meet ^.ummmm.just where r we gonna meet ^ nd wat time?
Time2Dance:u know the area better than I do.u choose.
Camisado4eva:wyoming valley mall in wilkes-barre.cing as how it's always crowded there so like no1 will no ur there.round 2ish, 3ish mayb.4ish at the latest.we'll meet in the food court.
Time2Dance:ok wyoming vally mall it is then.
Camisado4eva:nite, Ry. xoxo
Time2Dance:lol.good night, Honor.can't wait to see u in the afternoon.
Camisado4eva:nor can i.bye 4 now.
Time2Dance:bye
Camisado4eva signed off at 2:58am
****
I couldn't sleep at all after Honor signed off.No girl had ever made me so nervous before like she did.It was a mixture of anxiety, fear, worry, me being nervous like always, and my shyness that kept me awake.
By the morning, I looked so horrible by the time we'd finally gotten our luggage into the hotel rooms.Meeting Honor was so nerverwrecking that anyone could tell the I was anxious.First things first. I so had to get a shower if I was going to meet her.
"Ryan, what the fuck's gotten into you today?" Brendon asked me as I walked out of the shower, feeling cleaner, calmer, refreshed and more revived, with only a towel around my waist.I looked at the red digital clock in the room and dried myself off quickly, seeing that it was 1:45 in the afternoon.
"Just nervous about meeting someone." I dug in my suitcase for a clean casual outfit and upon finding one, I let the towel around my waist drop to the floor.Brendon snickered slightly then walked over and pinched my ass before trying to stick his finger up my anus.I jumped slightly, then turned around and swatted him away before he went to grab any OTHER body parts.
"So you gonna fuck her?" Brendon teased me as I pulled my boxers up. I glared at him then slid into my jeans. "Cute ass by the way, Ry.It's so sexy that any guy would go gay for you."
"Brendon, you know damn well that I've never...." My voice grew suddenly hoarse as I zipped my jeans and pulled one of my old MCR shirts on since Honor's second favorite band was My Chemical Romance.Brendon nodded as I turned, then frowned at my ratty old shirt.
"You're not going to make a very good first impression on her, Ryan." He shook his head, looking me over as I sat down and pulled my ankle-socks on along with a very comfortable pair of chucks.
"Then what shirt should I wear?I gotta look casual." I tied my chucks quickly as Brendon began to slowly paw through my bag.He pulled out my G N' R shirt and I sighed. "Fair enough.I'll wear that if you stop grabbing my ass."
"Ry, you know I'm only joking with you." Brendon handed me the G N' R shirt and I pulled the MCR shirt off and changed. "Where are you meeting her?"
"Wyoming Valley Mall.I'm taking a cab there." I said without even thinking about it as I pulled my black hoodie on and pulled my sunglasses from my bag. "Wish me luck."
"Good luck.You'll need it." Brendon said loud enough under his breath that I heard him as I walked out the door. I sighed as I closed the door and headed down to the lobby to catch a cab to go meet Honor.