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Gerard's P.O.V

'Ash!' I call out again as I watch her disappear from view. Good going Gerard you've just fucked up one of the best friendships you'll ever have.

But...she kissed me first...does this mean she possibly has feelings for me?

I scowl at myself. Get a grip Gerard she just felt sorry for you... you've got a brother inside dying and your out here wondering about yourself...your such a selfish bastard!

'Gee honey' a motherly voice snaps me out of my thoughts. 'Mum' I smile weakly, she tries to smile back but she can't. I don't blame her, her youngest son in hospital after trying to commit suicide.

'T-they finished pumping his stomach...you can come in and see him now' mum tells me. I get up immediately and follow mum as she leads me to where Mikey is. She's walking incredibly slow and I'm becoming even more scared and nervous. 'In here sweetheart' mum tells me, shaking. She goes and sits on one of the plastic hospital chairs with dad whose shaking violently.

I open the door, the walls are all so white in here, it's making my eyes ache just looking at them. Instead I focus on the bed in the middle of the room. The bed holding my brother, as he struggles for his life...maybe he's not struggling and waiting for it to end...like he wanted it too.

Shut up Gerard! I tell myself.

He looks so pale, not me or Ashley pale either it's really sickly. Beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face. My eyes start welling up with tears. 'Mikey' I whisper, stroking his cheek. I let out a small sob before pulling a chair up and sitting down next to him. 'I'm not going to leave you' I whisper to him. 'You're going to get through this Mikey you're a fighter and you know it' I tell him, his lifeless body doesn't move- I wasn't expecting it to. 'Mr Way?'' a nurse asks timidly. I nod 'Yeah I'm his brother' I tell her, I can feel myself shaking once more. 'Oh well Michael here as I'm sure you know has just had his stomach pumped...he should wake up in a couple of hours' she tells me. 'a-and I he doesn't?' I ask worriedly. 'He may have slipped into a coma...nothing to worry about but he's not out of critical condition as of now' she tells me. 'And when he wakes up he'll have to stay in for a couple of days for observation' I nod.

'Gee honey we're going now' mum whispers, waking me from my slumber. 'Mum no I can't...I can't leave him' I mumble to her. She shakes her head. I know she doesn't want to leave him either. 'Gee we can come back at proper visiting-' I turn away. Mum sighs. 'Okay well we're taking your car honey...we'll be back in a couple of hours okay?' she tells me. I nod silently, she leaves closing the door behind her. 'I promised you Mikey I wouldn't leave' I tell him. He's been like this for a couple of hours...the nurses are positive that he's slipped into a coma.

'Mikey you're going to get through I know you are' I tell him. I don't know who I'm trying to convince him or me. 'Mikey I know you probably can't hear me and I know you wanted this life to end but Mikey your such an amazing person, your smart and funny and, and there's so much life left in you and you don't want to end it. Mikey please don't leave me please' I break into hysterics, resting my head on his bed, holding his hand even tighter. I won't let go, I won't let go of my best friend or my brother. He's too important to me.

'Please wake up Mikey' I sob into the covers. 'Please just please wake up' I tighten my grip even more.

And I feel a small squeeze coming from his hand.

I look up through the tears to see Mikey's eyes flickering slightly. 'Mikey?' I ask, I choke back more tears.

I won't' cry.

I look down once again at his hand, hopefully they'll show more sign of movement.

They have to.

'Mikey come one' I whisper to him.

And sure enough, ever so slowly he manages to open his eyes. 'Mikey!' I yell, hugging him gently. He looks around, confused about his surroundings. 'Gee....I' sorry I really am I...I love you' he tells me one he's figured out where he is.

I smile a small genuine smile. Something I haven't been able to do all night.

'I love you too Mikey'