FicWad

Very sorry I haven't updated my lovely family made me go down the coast for a couple of days....sorry I left you in suspence there I didn't mean to shifty eyes
------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley's P.O.V

'Ashley can you please get the phone!' my brother yells down the stairs, waking me up. I check the clock to see it's two in the morning. 'Cam! Can't you get it?' I yell groggily up to him. 'No! I'm about to hop in the shower!' he yells down to me. I shudder. Way too much information.

'Who the fuck rings at this time of night anyway' I ask myself, getting up and answering the phone. 'Hello?' I ask as nicely as I can. 'Ash' says a hushed voice. It's Gerard.

Only it doesn't sound like Gerard, not the Gerard I know anyway he sounds really upset.

'Hey Gee what's wrong?' I say, cutting to the chase. My mum always told me I wasn't very subtle. 'I-I need you t-to meet me now' he says, he sounds really upset. 'Gee why now? It's two in the morning' I tell him. 'P-please meet me...meet me at the hospital please I need you Ash...I really need you' he says, you can barely hear him. 'Gee-'I start, but I get cut off.

He hung up on me.

'Cameron when mum gets back tell her my friend needs me' I yell to my brother through the bathroom door. I doubt he can hear me but I don't care. I hastily grab my keys and lock the house up. I hurry into my car and as fast as I can drive to the hospital.

I'm starting to feel more nervous as I enter the hospital. How am I supposed to find Gerard in all this chaos? A soft, warm and shaking hand holds on to mine. I jerk around suddenly to find Gerard there. He's terrified; he's shaking so hard and so close to tears it's not funny.

The only time I've ever seen Gerard cry was when he found out Mikey was taking drugs. Even then he didn't look that bad.

'Gerard what the hell is...?' I trail off. A new patient has arrived; it looks as though it's a huge emergency. Pushing them through the crowds, I catch a small glimpse of the patient.

Mikey.

'Mikey!' Gerard screams, I find myself crying. Not just for Mikey but because of Gerard, I can hear the pain in his voice as he struggles to try and reach his best friend, his brother.

Two of the nurses try and hush him down; they make sure he can't get past. I watch as his parents are allowed through without hesitation. 'No you don't understand that's my brother in there!' Gerard yells at them. I can hear the fear in his voice. 'Sir please! If you don't quiet down I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave' one of the nurses tells him sternly.

I walk up to him and place my hands on his shoulders. 'Gee' I say softly, trying to hold back tears. I need to brave for him. He whirls around quickly and hugs me. I place my hands on his head and stroke his hair, his beautiful, silky black hair. 'Oh Gerard' I say, I can hear him sobbing, I can hear him try and stop but he can't, he won't. We break apart after a couple of minutes, His once intense hazel eyes, filled with tears sadness and worry.

'This wasn't mean to happen' he whispers. He looks down to the floor. 'He's my baby brother...I was meant to help him, protect him from all the bad things in the world' he looks up, a single tear falls down his face. 'Gerard what...what happened?' I ask softly. He looks down and then looks up again.

'H-he overdosed on m-my old anti-depressants...a-after I w-went to bed he wrote a goodbye letter and, and, and he...' he fails to continue, and bursts into tears. I don't know what to say, my mouth drops open.

He tried to kill himself.

'Mum found him when she went to check up on him, she thought h-he was asleep...u-until sh-she found the, the note he left, sh-she called the a-ambulance and d-dad told m-me and I-I came here as s-soon as I c-could' he can't stop crying, its heartbreaking.

'Gee how bout we wait outside?' I say, holding back tears. I have to be strong for him. 'No, I-I've g-got t-to see him, I've got to see Mikey' he protests. I want to hug him, hold him tight, and whisper that everything's going to be okay. 'Gee come on we'll wait outside' I say, grabbing a hold of his hand. Just holding his hand sends shivers down my spine...wait what? He reluctantly agrees and lets me take him outside.

It's cold, its wet and freezing but some fresh air will do him good. 'Lets sit over here' I tell him, leading him towards a bench outside the hospital. 'Gerard?' I ask him. He's not with it at all. He starts crying -silently again. 'He c-can't die, h-he just can't' I hear him whisper, I pull him in close, I'm not going to let go this time. 'It'll be okay Gerard' I whisper soothingly to him. 'It'll be fine' I try to convince him.

He pulls away, looking me in the eyes. 'But what if its not?' he asks me worriedly. 'What if its not okay?'

I can't answer him. The last thing I want to do is lie to him, or hurt him even more. 'Gerard...' I trail of pathetically. He looks at me looking crushed, lost and worried.

And the next thing I know I press my lips against his.

He doesn't push me away; he instead kisses me back, putting his hands on the back of my neck. I can feel his tongue on my lips, begging of an entrance, I let his tongue slide into my mouth, letting it explore.

I realise what's happening and break it off.

My best friends brother is inside, almost dead and I'm out here taking advantage of him.

'G-gee I'm sorry' I stutter, getting up. 'Ash please...' he trails off.

I can't be here any longer.

I'm only going to end up hurting him.