Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Down the road, not across the street
Author's Note:
I was struck with sheer brilliance the other night [well I think it's sheer brilliance lmao] but you wont be finding out for another couple months. I now know how I'll be ending this fic, but you won't know until the final chapter if it is a sequel on not ^^ hehe. I'm excited =]
*
Chapter 20: You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Amara's POV
"All in," he whispered after we pulled apart.
Intuitively, I raised my fingers to my lips, trying to contemplate of what just happened.
"Say something, /anything/," he pleaded nervously.
"Something, anything," I teased as the corners of my mouth voluntarily curved upwards.
Ryan took this to be his sign, and a good sign at that. He closed in once again, his hands reaching for mine when I heard a snicker.
We both froze, our heads simultaneously turning to face the wings. As we glanced backstage, we realized we had gained an audience. Lacey had covered her mouth to stifle her giggles, but I could see her beaming at me and Spence had a grin to match. Brendon also couldn't help but smile at the fact his best friend had finally grown some balls. Ryan's stunt was also witnessed by the one person it would affect and hurt the most. Behind Brendon stood a very sullen Pete. He witnessed the entire kiss, he witnessed Amara growing further and further from his grasp, and he watched as any chance he had left evaporated into a puff of smoke.
They scanned the scene of gawking faces, some humored, some intrigued and others joyous. As the pair made contact with Pete's gaze, and it was as if all but the three of them were frozen in time and a great awkward silence filled the void. They looked at each other, Ryan and Amara catching a momentary look of hurt and betrayal in Pete's eyes. He forced out a smile, but even Amara could see right through Pete's façade. Pete gave one approving nod to them then continued walking back to the dress rooms.
Obstacle after obstacle, screw up after screw up. I just can't win, can I?!
A frustrated Pete thought to himself as he kicked open the change room door.
I was fucking innocent! I didn't do shit in New York, but she won't believe me, not after I lied the first time... and I didn't even mean to... it was a stupid fucking white lie. Damn my fucking reputation!
From day one, Pete could see the chemistry between Ryan and Amara. He couldn't believe they were both so oblivious to it. He thought it would be fun, he saw her as a conquest, he thought he could make her forget about Ryan. Soon Pete saw a future, not another notch on his belt, it was then he knew he was falling. He once believed he had a chance until now.
Ryan had to go all soapbox with his feelings and now she knows. Everything she wanted was becoming a reality.
Pete felt as if he was fighting a losing battle.
[Back at the hotel]
Fall Out Boy/Panic! post-show tradition has always been "If we've had a good show, then we'll hang out and go out, but if we have a bad show, we'll just go to bed." Despite the fact it was a really, really good show everyone opted on returning to the hotel to pack and have an early night, especially since several members had their entire luggage located around the hotel room and their flight was early the next morning. After finally packing her bags, she shed her clothes and hopped into the shower. She then brushed her teeth and all that jazz when getting ready for bed.
I feel as if I wasn't in my body the last two hours, and it was a mindless drone packing my bags, someone else standing in the shower. I reached for the light but had a change of mind and reached for my journal sitting my nightstand. As I sat in bed, journal in hand, only then did it finally hit me. All that did happen. I was real. Ryan did kiss me, /again/. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, I had read the same line of my last entry at least 20 times. I gave up with a sigh, laying the journal down on my lap, when I was startled by the sound of my sidekick vibrating in the background. I picked it up to find I had received a message from Ryan. Surprise, surprise, and a nice one at that. It read...
Are you awake? Well obviously u are if ur reading this :)
How cute/, I smiled to myself. Typical for him to babble in an SMS... /get to the point already! I continued with the rest of the message.
Cant sleep, I keep thinking... so u feel like coffee??
Yessss. I was hoping he would say that. I quickly messaged a reply.
Sure, love to. meet u at the elevator in 5
I had hit send before I realized I had only given myself 5 minutes to get ready and meet him. God I'm an ass. Hmmm... I can't be bothered to text again. Dammit Amara, hurry up already!
I quickly pulled on a pair of black skinnies and slipped on whatever shirt I could pull out from my suitcase. It just happened to be the purple TWLOHA tee Brendon bought me last week. I didn't bother putting my contacts on, no time. I decided to leave my hair out letting it fall onto my shoulders. I didn't a quick mirror check and felt I looked decent enough. Pretty yet casual, my kind of style. I quietly closed my hotel door behind me and found Ryan was already by the elevator.
"So exactly what did you have in mind for tonight, Mr Ross?" I smiled at a very cute-looking Ryan. He had no makeup on, very natural and I loved it. There was that subtle hint of eyeliner which comes off only after several washes. He was smirking at me, almost trying to stifle a laugh.
"What?" I said.
"Looks like Brendon got to you too," he chuckled as he unzipped his hoodie revealing his white TWLOHA tee.
"Oh god, how corny." I cringed.
"Well, great minds think alike," he smiled. "Okay, I know how girls get when someone else wears the same thing..."
"Nah its okay, I don't mind. Anyway I wanna get out of here already I don't want to waste our last night arguing who has to get change," I laughed.
"Alright," he agreed as we walked inside the elevator. "But just so you know, it would have been you," he laughed.
Several minutes later, we sat in this little coffee shop just near our hotel. It was the first one I went to in London and definitely a favourite with its picturesque interior. Although it was located on a main street, it was overshadowed by neighboring boutiques. It felt very secluded, as if no one knew about it except for budding poets and college students. No business men insight, a very relaxed atmosphere. We sat down by the window, and a friendly woman took our order.
"Chai latte for the lady, and I'll have a regular latte please," said Ryan.
I hate it that he knows me so well. We sat in awkward silence until Ryan said broke it, "So about that kiss..."
"Gotta be more specific seeing as we haven't talked about either," I interrupted smugly.
"Well, considering you refused to ignore the one at the cabin due to the circumstances, I think we should discuss it," he retorted haughtily. I sat there quietly, while he continued on.
"Look I know maybe it wasn't the most romantic for you, and I know how you feel about cheating. I want you to know I am truly sorry for putting you in that situation but don't think for a second that I regret it Amara. It may not have ended well that night, but what I felt in that kiss, in that same moment I knew you meant what you said in the hotel. And when I kissed you tonight I knew I hadn't scared you away, I can't begin to explain how happy I am..."
"I do Ryan. I do understand cause I felt the exact same way. That warm sensation, where you feel like you could be happy forever. So about tonight's little umm... stunt, for lack of a better word, I need to know was that just MVP Ryan or Cabin Ryan or... I dunno what else!"
He reached across the table, removing my hands from around the latte glass. He looked at me with those sad, brown eyes so full of love and honesty, "That was I-finally-grew-some-balls Ryan. I meant that kiss, I've been wanting to do that for so long. To just tell u how I feel. Look after that night in the cabin, all this Chastity crap happened so fast it made my head spin. First you weren't talking, then she tell me she's pregnant, then you and her get all Fight Club and then that shit with Pete, then just yeah..."
I tried not to refrain from giggling over the number of times he said 'then.' He had become somber after trailing off. I finished his sentence, "Brendon told me about the hospital," and gave his hand a light squeeze.
"Yeah, that. I don't really wanna talk about it, I'd just rather forget that. But I just had to deal with it, don't ever think that I hated you for hitting her. I know you always have my back. I'm sorry so freezing you and everyone out," he said.
"It's okay, well forget the lying whore and start fresh, back like old school times," I smiled.
"Couldn't have said it better myself. So does this count as a date?" he said cheerful.
"Well it depends... are we dating?" I asked coyly.
"Um... I dunno," said Ryan. We both laughed at our high school behaviour.
"Please don't send me to ask myself out for you. That is just awkward..." I said.
"And I stopped making you do that back in the eighth grade! You'll never let that go will you AJ!?" he laughed
"No, I wont," I said in a pouty, mocking tone. "Only because Veronica Mars wouldn't speak to me for the rest of junior year because I had to break up with her for you!"
Hey, I'm sorry but you know I'm shy. Anyway I've changed... well relationship wise.. still shy... still shy," he kept laughing.
"Okay, so hypothetically, say we were dating... would it just be casual or like official official?" I asked him.
"I still feel the same way. I still want to be with you. I still want to be your boyfriend," he said.
"Me too. Okay, so this is our first date then?"
"Let's just call this the... "pre-first date" date," he smiled.
"Agreed," I said.
"Cause when I do ask you out... I want it to be special," he grinned.
"You'd think this was awkward, but this feels really... surreal... and comforting," I sighed. "So what's your idea of the perfect date?"
"I'm looking at her," grinned Ryan.
"Shut up you know I mean the other kind of date," I laughed.
"Well, if I told my perfect date the ideal date I had, then that would just spoil the surprise wouldn't it? Guess you'll just have to wait until that happens and we start dating," he said.
We talked long into the hours, well past midnight until we got kicked out by the owners around 2am. Our conversations weren't anything out of the ordinary, just trips down memory lane with several new anecdotes here and there of the past few months. What more can you talk about when you've known your date since you were kids. There was no getting to know each other's favourite colour, favourite foods, all the pets, because we already knew the answers to those questions. So what does one talk about with their date in this situation...?
The answer is: How the love all started.
You talk about how you felt several years back, and find out their perspective. You lay every feeling clean, every jealousy feeling for every boyfriend or girlfriend. You both try to fathom how you were both so clueless, and your smile because your unrequited love wasn't unrequited after all. You laugh even though there were so many missed opportunities, but you know it doesn't matter because you with that person right now. You consider that you were brought together now for a reason, it was due all in good time, and that it was meant to be.
We walked around the streets of London, that night you could already feel the Summer air coming into London. He slowed down and leaned over the ledge. I then realized we had stopped in the middle of the Millennium Bridge, looking over the River Thames. The city was blanketed in darkness making the city lights glistening like stars.
"Remember when we rode the London Eye?" he said. I nodded as we admired it in all its beauty, frozen in motion while the city night scene came to life.
[A/N: Need the visual? http://www.jameswiseman.com/photos/london2/LodnonRiverThames.jpg]
"I know back in the coffee shop I seemed calm and I agreed it was comforting, but to be honest I'm scared as hell," he said.
"What would you be afraid of?" I asked.
"Wrecking it. This, us... finally happening. It's nerve-racking to believe, cause right now it just feels too damn good to be true... and I just don't want to lose this. Find out it's not real or screw it up some how."
Ryan turned to face me, his eyes full of hope, fear and something else I couldn't put my finger on. "I don't want to wait any longer, I've waited long enough," he exhaled. "Amara, will you be my girlfriend? Like officially."
Ryan caught me as I felt my knees suddenly gave way. "Sorry, I've just waited so long to hear those words," I chuckled. He cupped my face in his hands, leaning his forehead on mine.
"So is that a yes?"
"Yes... It's a yes," I nodded and smiled simultaneously.
We then shared our first kiss as a couple. His lips pressed softly onto mine, sucking on my bottom lip then alternating back and forth, our tongues dancing with one another. We pulled apart and he brought me close, pulling me into a fierce, warm embrace.
We're finally a couple.
*
READ
RATE
&
REVIEW
I was struck with sheer brilliance the other night [well I think it's sheer brilliance lmao] but you wont be finding out for another couple months. I now know how I'll be ending this fic, but you won't know until the final chapter if it is a sequel on not ^^ hehe. I'm excited =]
*
Chapter 20: You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Amara's POV
"All in," he whispered after we pulled apart.
Intuitively, I raised my fingers to my lips, trying to contemplate of what just happened.
"Say something, /anything/," he pleaded nervously.
"Something, anything," I teased as the corners of my mouth voluntarily curved upwards.
Ryan took this to be his sign, and a good sign at that. He closed in once again, his hands reaching for mine when I heard a snicker.
We both froze, our heads simultaneously turning to face the wings. As we glanced backstage, we realized we had gained an audience. Lacey had covered her mouth to stifle her giggles, but I could see her beaming at me and Spence had a grin to match. Brendon also couldn't help but smile at the fact his best friend had finally grown some balls. Ryan's stunt was also witnessed by the one person it would affect and hurt the most. Behind Brendon stood a very sullen Pete. He witnessed the entire kiss, he witnessed Amara growing further and further from his grasp, and he watched as any chance he had left evaporated into a puff of smoke.
They scanned the scene of gawking faces, some humored, some intrigued and others joyous. As the pair made contact with Pete's gaze, and it was as if all but the three of them were frozen in time and a great awkward silence filled the void. They looked at each other, Ryan and Amara catching a momentary look of hurt and betrayal in Pete's eyes. He forced out a smile, but even Amara could see right through Pete's façade. Pete gave one approving nod to them then continued walking back to the dress rooms.
Obstacle after obstacle, screw up after screw up. I just can't win, can I?!
A frustrated Pete thought to himself as he kicked open the change room door.
I was fucking innocent! I didn't do shit in New York, but she won't believe me, not after I lied the first time... and I didn't even mean to... it was a stupid fucking white lie. Damn my fucking reputation!
From day one, Pete could see the chemistry between Ryan and Amara. He couldn't believe they were both so oblivious to it. He thought it would be fun, he saw her as a conquest, he thought he could make her forget about Ryan. Soon Pete saw a future, not another notch on his belt, it was then he knew he was falling. He once believed he had a chance until now.
Ryan had to go all soapbox with his feelings and now she knows. Everything she wanted was becoming a reality.
Pete felt as if he was fighting a losing battle.
[Back at the hotel]
Fall Out Boy/Panic! post-show tradition has always been "If we've had a good show, then we'll hang out and go out, but if we have a bad show, we'll just go to bed." Despite the fact it was a really, really good show everyone opted on returning to the hotel to pack and have an early night, especially since several members had their entire luggage located around the hotel room and their flight was early the next morning. After finally packing her bags, she shed her clothes and hopped into the shower. She then brushed her teeth and all that jazz when getting ready for bed.
I feel as if I wasn't in my body the last two hours, and it was a mindless drone packing my bags, someone else standing in the shower. I reached for the light but had a change of mind and reached for my journal sitting my nightstand. As I sat in bed, journal in hand, only then did it finally hit me. All that did happen. I was real. Ryan did kiss me, /again/. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, I had read the same line of my last entry at least 20 times. I gave up with a sigh, laying the journal down on my lap, when I was startled by the sound of my sidekick vibrating in the background. I picked it up to find I had received a message from Ryan. Surprise, surprise, and a nice one at that. It read...
Are you awake? Well obviously u are if ur reading this :)
How cute/, I smiled to myself. Typical for him to babble in an SMS... /get to the point already! I continued with the rest of the message.
Cant sleep, I keep thinking... so u feel like coffee??
Yessss. I was hoping he would say that. I quickly messaged a reply.
Sure, love to. meet u at the elevator in 5
I had hit send before I realized I had only given myself 5 minutes to get ready and meet him. God I'm an ass. Hmmm... I can't be bothered to text again. Dammit Amara, hurry up already!
I quickly pulled on a pair of black skinnies and slipped on whatever shirt I could pull out from my suitcase. It just happened to be the purple TWLOHA tee Brendon bought me last week. I didn't bother putting my contacts on, no time. I decided to leave my hair out letting it fall onto my shoulders. I didn't a quick mirror check and felt I looked decent enough. Pretty yet casual, my kind of style. I quietly closed my hotel door behind me and found Ryan was already by the elevator.
"So exactly what did you have in mind for tonight, Mr Ross?" I smiled at a very cute-looking Ryan. He had no makeup on, very natural and I loved it. There was that subtle hint of eyeliner which comes off only after several washes. He was smirking at me, almost trying to stifle a laugh.
"What?" I said.
"Looks like Brendon got to you too," he chuckled as he unzipped his hoodie revealing his white TWLOHA tee.
"Oh god, how corny." I cringed.
"Well, great minds think alike," he smiled. "Okay, I know how girls get when someone else wears the same thing..."
"Nah its okay, I don't mind. Anyway I wanna get out of here already I don't want to waste our last night arguing who has to get change," I laughed.
"Alright," he agreed as we walked inside the elevator. "But just so you know, it would have been you," he laughed.
Several minutes later, we sat in this little coffee shop just near our hotel. It was the first one I went to in London and definitely a favourite with its picturesque interior. Although it was located on a main street, it was overshadowed by neighboring boutiques. It felt very secluded, as if no one knew about it except for budding poets and college students. No business men insight, a very relaxed atmosphere. We sat down by the window, and a friendly woman took our order.
"Chai latte for the lady, and I'll have a regular latte please," said Ryan.
I hate it that he knows me so well. We sat in awkward silence until Ryan said broke it, "So about that kiss..."
"Gotta be more specific seeing as we haven't talked about either," I interrupted smugly.
"Well, considering you refused to ignore the one at the cabin due to the circumstances, I think we should discuss it," he retorted haughtily. I sat there quietly, while he continued on.
"Look I know maybe it wasn't the most romantic for you, and I know how you feel about cheating. I want you to know I am truly sorry for putting you in that situation but don't think for a second that I regret it Amara. It may not have ended well that night, but what I felt in that kiss, in that same moment I knew you meant what you said in the hotel. And when I kissed you tonight I knew I hadn't scared you away, I can't begin to explain how happy I am..."
"I do Ryan. I do understand cause I felt the exact same way. That warm sensation, where you feel like you could be happy forever. So about tonight's little umm... stunt, for lack of a better word, I need to know was that just MVP Ryan or Cabin Ryan or... I dunno what else!"
He reached across the table, removing my hands from around the latte glass. He looked at me with those sad, brown eyes so full of love and honesty, "That was I-finally-grew-some-balls Ryan. I meant that kiss, I've been wanting to do that for so long. To just tell u how I feel. Look after that night in the cabin, all this Chastity crap happened so fast it made my head spin. First you weren't talking, then she tell me she's pregnant, then you and her get all Fight Club and then that shit with Pete, then just yeah..."
I tried not to refrain from giggling over the number of times he said 'then.' He had become somber after trailing off. I finished his sentence, "Brendon told me about the hospital," and gave his hand a light squeeze.
"Yeah, that. I don't really wanna talk about it, I'd just rather forget that. But I just had to deal with it, don't ever think that I hated you for hitting her. I know you always have my back. I'm sorry so freezing you and everyone out," he said.
"It's okay, well forget the lying whore and start fresh, back like old school times," I smiled.
"Couldn't have said it better myself. So does this count as a date?" he said cheerful.
"Well it depends... are we dating?" I asked coyly.
"Um... I dunno," said Ryan. We both laughed at our high school behaviour.
"Please don't send me to ask myself out for you. That is just awkward..." I said.
"And I stopped making you do that back in the eighth grade! You'll never let that go will you AJ!?" he laughed
"No, I wont," I said in a pouty, mocking tone. "Only because Veronica Mars wouldn't speak to me for the rest of junior year because I had to break up with her for you!"
Hey, I'm sorry but you know I'm shy. Anyway I've changed... well relationship wise.. still shy... still shy," he kept laughing.
"Okay, so hypothetically, say we were dating... would it just be casual or like official official?" I asked him.
"I still feel the same way. I still want to be with you. I still want to be your boyfriend," he said.
"Me too. Okay, so this is our first date then?"
"Let's just call this the... "pre-first date" date," he smiled.
"Agreed," I said.
"Cause when I do ask you out... I want it to be special," he grinned.
"You'd think this was awkward, but this feels really... surreal... and comforting," I sighed. "So what's your idea of the perfect date?"
"I'm looking at her," grinned Ryan.
"Shut up you know I mean the other kind of date," I laughed.
"Well, if I told my perfect date the ideal date I had, then that would just spoil the surprise wouldn't it? Guess you'll just have to wait until that happens and we start dating," he said.
We talked long into the hours, well past midnight until we got kicked out by the owners around 2am. Our conversations weren't anything out of the ordinary, just trips down memory lane with several new anecdotes here and there of the past few months. What more can you talk about when you've known your date since you were kids. There was no getting to know each other's favourite colour, favourite foods, all the pets, because we already knew the answers to those questions. So what does one talk about with their date in this situation...?
The answer is: How the love all started.
You talk about how you felt several years back, and find out their perspective. You lay every feeling clean, every jealousy feeling for every boyfriend or girlfriend. You both try to fathom how you were both so clueless, and your smile because your unrequited love wasn't unrequited after all. You laugh even though there were so many missed opportunities, but you know it doesn't matter because you with that person right now. You consider that you were brought together now for a reason, it was due all in good time, and that it was meant to be.
We walked around the streets of London, that night you could already feel the Summer air coming into London. He slowed down and leaned over the ledge. I then realized we had stopped in the middle of the Millennium Bridge, looking over the River Thames. The city was blanketed in darkness making the city lights glistening like stars.
"Remember when we rode the London Eye?" he said. I nodded as we admired it in all its beauty, frozen in motion while the city night scene came to life.
[A/N: Need the visual? http://www.jameswiseman.com/photos/london2/LodnonRiverThames.jpg]
"I know back in the coffee shop I seemed calm and I agreed it was comforting, but to be honest I'm scared as hell," he said.
"What would you be afraid of?" I asked.
"Wrecking it. This, us... finally happening. It's nerve-racking to believe, cause right now it just feels too damn good to be true... and I just don't want to lose this. Find out it's not real or screw it up some how."
Ryan turned to face me, his eyes full of hope, fear and something else I couldn't put my finger on. "I don't want to wait any longer, I've waited long enough," he exhaled. "Amara, will you be my girlfriend? Like officially."
Ryan caught me as I felt my knees suddenly gave way. "Sorry, I've just waited so long to hear those words," I chuckled. He cupped my face in his hands, leaning his forehead on mine.
"So is that a yes?"
"Yes... It's a yes," I nodded and smiled simultaneously.
We then shared our first kiss as a couple. His lips pressed softly onto mine, sucking on my bottom lip then alternating back and forth, our tongues dancing with one another. We pulled apart and he brought me close, pulling me into a fierce, warm embrace.
We're finally a couple.
*
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