FicWad

Chapter 18.

"Hi Ryan." I said looking at my feet.

"Jesus! I thought it was you!" He said taking me in his arms and hugging me tightly. "I've missed you." He whispered in my ear.

I just stood there. I didn't know what to do. What to say. I was in shock why was he acting like this? He was the one who didn't call or come visit me.

He pulled away. "You look so different." He said looking me up and down and it was true, to a certain extent, I did. I had dyed and cut my hair; it was now darker brown but still had green and blond highlights. It was cut to a reverse bob, it was shorter in the back and longer in the front and the front came to about my chin. I had lost weight and my eye brow was no longer pierced.

"Yeah. A lot has changed." I said quietly still not looking him in the face. I couldn't it hurt too much. I was on the verge of tears already. Thankfully, I was saved.

"What do you think of this shirt?" Sean came up and showed me a Marilyn Manson shirt.

I looked up at him and smiled "I like it."

"Then I think I will get it." He smiled back and kissed my forehead then he turned and saw Ryan standing in front of me. "Oh. Who's this?"

Ryan stuck out his hand. "Ryan, Ryan Ross. And you are?" Ryan asked.

"Um. Ryan, this is my boyfriend, Sean." Ryan's head shot back to look at me.

"I'm going to go pay for my stuff, I'll be back in a minute." Sean said to me and lightly brushed my arm. I nodded. "Nice to meet you." He said to Ryan.

Ryan nodded in response not looking at him, but glaring at me. We stood there awkwardly after Sean had left. I still hadn't looked Ryan directly in the face.

"How long have you been together?" He asked in a low voice. It was menacing, hurt, confused, shy all at the same time.

"About 9 months."

"Hmpf." Ryan scoffed.

"What?! You have something to say?" I said, my head snapping up, finally looking at his face. Big Mistake. All the anger I had just been feeling slipped away as I looked at his beautiful angel face. He had changed too, grown out his hair and his face had grown more mature, out of the baby face stage.

"Yeah, I do. You guys don't seem very in love."

I laughed a humorless laugh. "And you know what love is?" I said gaining back all the anger I had been feeling earlier.

"Yes, I believe I do." He shot back. "I still feel it Nicky."

"We saw each other for less than a week. We kept in touch for a couple months. Then you stopped. I called you, but you didn't pick up. How can you say that you still love me?"

"I was busy! I'm almost 22 fucking years old, Nicky. I'm in a major band and I was on tour, then put out another fucking cd! You can't expect me to be calling you every fucking day!"

"No." I shook my head vigorously. "No I didn't expect you to call me everyday. Not even every week. I understood that. But when you didn't call at all, no visits, nothing. That broke my heart. That was it. Don't blame your fame for this Ryan." I stayed as calm as I could.

"I tried to visit you. I went back to Philly, to your house to Lane and Meg's house, but you weren't there and nobody would tell me where you were." He said yelling and pleading all at the same time.

I shook my head. "No. You could've called. I don't believe you."

"I tried, Nicky. My sidekick got busted. Pete ran it over with my car. Your number was lost."

I still shook my head tears forming in my eyes. "No. No. Stop lying."

"I'm not lying." He said taking a step closer and softening his voice. I took a step back and felt a wall of clothes behind me.

"Brendon. You could've gotten my number from Brendon. He could've gotten it from Emily."

Ryan just stood there. He was astonished that I didn't believe him.

Sean came back. "Hey, hey." He said looking at me and holding my face in his hands. He could see the tears flowing. "What happened?" He turned toward Ryan "What the fuck?"

"I-"

"Let's go, Nicky." Sean said ushering me out with his arms around me. He was whispering to calm down in my ear. Trying to get me to stop crying and at the same time trying to figure out what had happened.

"Wait!" I heard Ryan from behind us.

We just kept walking. Leaving Ryan standing there. Alone.


Ok so I know in my little speech last night i was kind of a bithc, but I have alot of shit going on in my life right now and Its seriously not fun. THis is where I take it out. So umm I'm not going to have this laptop with me for two weeks starting friday which means no updating :( so I'm going to update again tomorrow night...well tonight since technically its thursday already...but anyways... yeah jsut a warnign. I will be back though.