FicWad

The next few weeks faded into months, and Patrick and Amanda continued to see more and more of each other. Amanda would be at work while Patrick stayed at home to look after Danielle and Josh, writing melodies in his spare time as they napped. At lunch time, Patrick would take Danielle and Josh out in their stroller as they met Amanda for lunch. Patrick would kiss her lightly, his stomach still doing flips every time he saw or thought of her. They would sit in restaurants, fortunately left alone, because Patrick was easy to pass without realizing who he was. Amanda's lunch hour always passed too quickly for both of them, and their pleasant conversation turned to fake pouts and kisses as they got the check and parted ways. Patrick had gotten to the stage of missing her every time he was without her. When they'd first started dating, he'd been nervous at the thought of it again, but at the same time he enjoyed the nervous feeling of dating. The flips in your stomach as you thought of how awkward conversation could be, the embarrassment flushing in his cheeks if he stuttered or said something stupid. But as he and Amanda began to see more of each other, the more comfortable he became and the more he looked forward to the next date. He'd almost gotten to the stage of stopping his nervous habit of shaking his leg as he spoke or listened to someone. He began to shake it as he bit his lip and wondered if he had the guts to ask her the question on his mind.
"Amanda?" He asked, watching Amanda feed Josh, playing the 'airplane' game.
"Yes?" She asked, not able to take her eyes away. At least it made it easier for Patrick to ask her without her watching him.
"Uh, well... my mom's kinda invited us for dinner. You know, next week when we go back to Chicago for that meeting." Patrick said, toying with his food. He could either be making a huge mistake here, or making a great move.
'Really? That sounds great." Amanda replied.
"So you'll come?"
"Sure. I'd love to meet your mom." She told him, with a smile. Patrick smiled in return and sat back. She really was something.
"What are you smiling at?" Amanda asked, a light laugh sounding from her mouth as she glanced back at Josh.
"You're just so... cool about everything." Patrick replied, watching both her and Josh, feeling proud he was at the same table as them. Danielle murmured in her sleep, how she slept through the bustle of LA's streets and the noises of a restaurant, yet woke at the sound of Patrick looking in on them silently at night was beyond him. He took her small hand in his as she slept and she soon became quiet. Patrick didn't let go of her hand as he continued to watch Amanda and Josh.
"Well, you know." Amanda shrugged off the compliment and gave him a smile.
"So... how do you wanna get there?" Patrick asked. Amanda looked at him, slightly confused.
"I mean, do you wanna drive there, or fly so it'll be quicker?" He corrected himself, sitting forward in his chair as his back began to hurt.
"I'll do whatever, I don't mind. As long as I'm with you." Amanda told him, and Patrick ducked his head, the sudden feeling like he was in a Hollywood movie creeping across him
"As long as you don't mind flying with the chance of two kids screaming." He informed her, and she held her hands up.
"Suits me." She grinned, and Patrick nodded, sitting back and looking around the room.
"Argh, shoot, I gotta go." Amanda said. "Do you wanna stay and finish your lunch?"
"On my own? Are you kidding?" Patrick asked. Recently, he hated being alone, especially out in public. He hated when Amanda had to leave in restaurants, and he hated having to finish his lunch alone, feeling some people's pitying or humorous stares as they assumed he was being stood up. It was especially embarrassing if Danielle or Josh started to cry. He knew it was natural, but he couldn't get rid of his red cheeks until he was well down the street and making his way back home.
Amanda nodded. Patrick laughed. She never understood his sarcasm.
"Sarcasm, honey." He said, and they both stopped. Amanda froze in mid air, her bag halfway on her shoulder. Patrick was halfway between sitting and standing, his eyes diverting anywhere but Amanda's eyes.
"You called me honey." Amanda said, moving again, putting her bag over her shoulder. Patrick stood up nervously, nearly knocking his chair over. Amanda loved how clumsy he got when he was nervous. It made her want to wrap her arms around him and stroke his hair and tell him not to be so flustered. She watched the color flood to his face, like so often it did when they were together. God, how she adored that man.
"Well, I uh..." Patrick stammered as he threw down some money onto the table and watched Amanda laugh and pick Josh up, putting him in the stroller.
"I..." He fought for the words to say, feeling stupider by the minute, until he stopped stammering and stood up straight, his hands on his hips.
"Maybe I want to call you honey." He said, sensing how awful his attempted dominant voice sounded. He let a grin spread across his face as his eyes met Amanda's as she helped him take the stroller outside.
"Oh yeah?" She asked, trying her best confrontational voice.
"Yeah." He nodded.
"Well maybe I want to call you sweetie. And a lot of other names that might embarrass your kids when we're older." She wrapped her arms around his neck.
Patrick's stomach flipped repeatedly. 'When we're older.'
"Well, maybe you..." He was interrupted by Amanda's lips on his as she kissed him goodbye. Her kisses always left her mark, always left him thinking of her until the next one. He opened his mouth as their lips parted.
"Should call me them." He finished.
"Call me." Amanda said quietly, smiling.
"I will. I definitely will." He nodded as she took her arms away and turned, but Patrick didn't let go of her hand, and it caused her to turn back around.
"I miss you already." Patrick whispered.
"I miss you more." She said, squeezing his hand before turning and walking away.
'When we're older.'

Pete lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling. He was back in his own apartment now, and there were no traces of Jenny left. There was only one, in his garbage can - the smashed photo of them both that Pete had destroyed. He only had because Jenny had destroyed them. He turned on his side and looked at the empty side of the bed, glaring in dark at the pillow that he'd washed over and over to erase her smell. Even though the pillow smelt of washing powder now, there was no way he could forget Jenny's smell in his mind.
"Why did you fuck it up?" He whispered into the dark. He was surprised he had directed the question at himself. It was as though there were two sides of his mind arguing against each other.
I didn't fuck it up.
Yes, you did.
No! I didn't.
You did. You just want to feel like the bigger person. All sad and alone because your girlfriend cheated.
You're wrong.
Oh, yeah? Then why did Jenny turn to Patrick?
Because she's a cheater.
Maybe. But you were once a cheater, Pete. Remember the times?
Shut up.
Remember, Peter? The tears, the fights. The times they smashed the photo instead of you?
That was different.
Why? Because you were the heartbreaker? Not the heartbreakee?
Jenny's a whore! She did it because she wanted attention.
Exactly. She wanted attention. You didn't pay her enough because you took advantage of her always being there, so she turned to the one guy in the world who knows how it feels to be alone. Patrick - the guy who cares about everyone despite what they've done to him. I bet if you asked him he still cares for Christina.
Fuck off. Don't bring him into this.
Jenny chose Patrick because he makes people feel special. You, Pete, you just assumed she would always be there. Because every girl falls in love with you and never wants to let go.
That's not my fault.
Yes it is, Pete. Admit it. You drove Jenny to the point of being so lonely she started to have feelings for your best friend.
"FUCK OFF!" Pete yelled into the darkness, punching his pillow. He hated his mind. It always drove him crazy. Probably this time because it was right.
There was a small whimper from the corner of the room, and Pete jumped. He sat up and realized it was Hemingway.
"Sorry, boy. Come here." He patted the empty side of the bed, and Hemingway obediently jumped up.
"We'll be fine, you and me." Pete said to Hemingway, but really directing the comment to himself, and his mind.
God, he hated lonely nights.

"OK, now if you guys manage to not cry the entire flight... I might give you a cookie." Patrick told Danielle and Josh as he and Amanda sat down in the seats on the plane, one on each side of Danielle and Josh.
"Patrick, don't bribe them!" Amanda laughed.
"Sometimes you gotta do a little bribing." Patrick shrugged. He leaned into Josh and whispered.
"Especially you, if you don't cry, Amanda says she'll give you two cookies."
"Patrick!"
"What?" He grinned as he sat up. Amanda shook her head and leaned into Danielle.
"If you keep your dad up all night, I'll give you a bag of cookies."
"You know, you really shouldn't bribe them." Patrick said to her. She threw Danielle's teddy at him and he caught it, poking his tongue out at her.

When the plane had landed, Patrick took Amanda back to the house he still owned, in Glenview.
"Wow, it's beautiful." Amanda said when they entered.
"Look at the decor. I did it myself." Patrick said proudly, deliberately sticking his chest out.
"I'm impressed." Amanda nodded, looking around.
"So, you can stay in the spare room... or you can stay in my room." Patrick said with a wink.
"Oh, really?" Amanda asked, edging nearer him and grinning. "Won't we get in trouble?"
"Nuh uh." Patrick shook his head, a boyish look on his face. "My mom won't find out."
"Then it's settled." Amanda laughed, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. She stopped suddenly and held him at arm's length.
"You know, you make me really happy." She told him.
"I think that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me." Patrick said, suddenly feeling very emotional. He realized now how much attention Christina had in herself and never him. He didn't want attention, don't get him wrong, but it was nice when you knew you made someone happy. Happy enough for them to tell you, at least.
"Well, people should say it more. It's true."

That night, Patrick and Amanda walked up the path to Patrick's mother's house, Amanda carrying Josh while Patrick carried Danielle. He rang the doorbell and nudged Amanda with his foot.
"Don't be nervous. My mom's nice." He said quietly, rocking from side to side with Danielle, sensing his mother was near the door.
"Have you ever known anyone not to be nervous meeting a parent?" Amanda whispered back.
The door opened and a woman stood smiling at them both.
"Patrick! Oh, I've missed you!" She said as she smiled and embraced her son in a hug, which was difficult due to the infant on his hip.
"How's my granddaughter?" She asked, taking Danielle from Patrick as he entered the house and stood behind her. His mother turned to look at Amanda and grinned.
"My, you must be Amanda."
"Yes, ma'am." Amanda replied with a smile. His mother laughed, a light, happy chuckle that reminded Amanda of Patrick's laugh.
"Call me Pat, dear. Come inside, come in, come in." She said, stepping back and allowing Amanda to join Patrick.
"Oh, you two have grown so much since I last saw you!" She cooed at Danielle and Josh.
"And who is this strapping young woman I see before me?" A man's voice said from the doorway of the living room. A middle aged man with brown hair and blue eyes stood with a smile.
"Oh, Amanda, this is my step dad, Vic." Patrick said, before being embraced himself.
"Lovely to meet you." Vic nodded as he kissed Amanda on the cheek.
"You too."
"My God, they get bigger every time I turn my head!" He said, taking Danielle from Patricia and holding her above him.
"You looking after your daddy?"
Danielle giggled and smiled as she looked at him. Patrick smiled proudly.
"Yep, she's a right lil' Daddy's girl, aren't you, sweetheart?" He asked, tickling her, causing her to giggle even more.
"I'm sure she is." Vic replied. "Why are we all standing in here? Let's have a seat."
Patrick took Amanda's hand silently as they entered the living room, squeezing it as they sat down. Patrick sat close to Amanda, sensing she was nervous despite how calm she remained. Amanda glanced at him and gave him a quick smile, hoping Patrick's mother wouldn't see.
"Don't be nervous, dear. We don't bite." Patricia said, seeing the glance. She sat Danielle down on the floor and she instantly crawled along the floor to Patrick. Since Josh and Danielle had learned to crawl, they did nothing but shoot across the floor faster than Patrick could blink. Danielle sat at her father's foot, now grabbing his lace on his shoes and pulling at it.
"Oi, quit it." Patrick said, bending down and picking her up. He sat back with her on his lap, holding her hands and clapping them together to make her laugh.

"She's quite something, Patrick." His mother told him later that evening as he sat at the kitchen table, still with Danielle on his lap. Every time he put her down she would start to cry, so he had no option but to hold her all night.
"I know, she is." Patrick said, standing up and looking through the door to the kitchen to the living room, where Danielle sat with Vic talking about the attractions of LA.
"I think she'll be good for you." Pat said, pulling out plates from the cupboard.
"So do I." He said, hitching Danielle onto his hip and leaning back against the counter. "I hope so."
"Patrick, she wouldn't come all this way with you and meet your mother just to ditch you afterwards."
"Yeah, but remember the first time you met Christina? She wanted to leave after five minutes."
"Amanda's no Christina, Patrick." His mother replied. "And anyway, I warned you about Christina."
"I know, I know." Patrick said, shaking his head at the memory. He'd hated how his mother had always tried to take him aside and tell him 'that girl will break your heart one day'.
"I should have listened to you, mom." Patrick said sadly. "If I had listened to you, things would never be so lousy with Christina."
"Yes, but you would never have gotten these two out of it." His mom said, nodding towards Danielle, and Josh in the living room with Amanda.
"True." Patrick said, ducking his head. Danielle pulled at his hair with both of her hands, as if she was trying to pull him closer and hug him.
"I know, sweetie." He whispered into her ear rubbing his cheek against her. "I know."
"Cheer up, honey. Amanda's a winner. I have a good feeling about her."
"Really?"
"Yes. And the way she's putting Danielle and Josh into her life - that's a huge step."
Patrick nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, it is. I really, really like her, mom. I think I could fall in love with her."
"Aw, I'm so glad to hear you say that." Patricia smiled. "It looks as though she feels the same way."
"You think so?"
"Hey, Patrick." She lifted his chin up with her fingers. "I know what love's like."
"Yeah, but you and my dad divorced." Patrick pointed out.
"Sometimes things don't work out." His mother replied. "Like you and Christina."
Patrick nodded. He hated how she was always brought up, even in a casual conversation.
"I have a strong feeling this one could work for you." His mother told him. Patrick smiled, embarrassed for no reason.
"Fingers crossed."