FicWad

"Patrick - I'm sorry but you're going to have to accept that you have two jobs." Bob, Fall Out Boy's manager said, with an apologetic glance towards Patrick, who was sitting up in his chair, his arms leaning on the table covering his face.
"I know." He said, nodding from behind his hands.
"Hey, it's not that bad." Andy said, nudging him. "We're only gonna be here for a few hours a day. It's not like you're gonna be leaving at 8 AM and coming back at 10 PM."
"Yeah, I mean, we can work it out." Joe added.
Patrick leaned back in his chair, sighed and shrugged.
"Whatever."
"Jesus." Pete blew upwards into his fringe, rolling his eyes from across the table. Everyone's eyes focused on him and darted back to Patrick every so often.
"What?" Patrick snapped.
"It's not like we're asking you to leave them on one side of the country and then live in another."
Patrick shook his head, knowing that since Pete hadn't had his 'coffee', he would blow a fuse any minute. There was no point in arguing, Pete would just disagree with any point he made.
"Patrick, will you /grow up/?" Pete sighed, drumming his fingers on the table. "You're being totally irrational."
"Irrational?" Patrick questioned.
"Yeah. You're such a hypochondriac."
"Really?"
"Yes! You're making it as if we're holding you at gun point to do this."
"No, I'm not. I'm just saying I wish there was a way I could do this without leaving my kids."
"Pfft." Pete widened his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, sure. You're just trying to make this difficult."
"Am I? I don't know if you remember, Pete, but I'm a /dad/, and..."
"I doubt I could forget, you always talk about it!" Pete said curtly. Everyone at the table tried to busy themselves and avoid looking at Patrick or Pete.
"Right." Patrick nodded. He stood up, pushing his chair back.
"Tell you what, Pete. You try having a baby. No, wait, try having /two/, and then see how much it makes your life change."
He walked around the table and out the door, but being Patrick, didn't slam it. The room was left in silence, Pete fiddling with the pen in front of him, the others all glancing at him and hoping they wouldn't catch his eye.
"Will somebody fucking say something?" Pete growled.
"No offense, Pete, but you're being a dick this morning." Andy told him.
"So?"
"So, why? Just because you didn't get your coffee, you throw Patrick's life back in his face?"
"Jesus! Everything's fucking about Patrick!" Pete shot back.
"Oh, so, what, Pete? You want each and every single bit of attention on you?"
"I never said that."
"You should be glad your personal life isn't splashed all over the headlines anymore. It's only a matter of time before Patrick's is."
"Well, then if he kept his mouth shut about his kids then there won't be that problem."
"Wow. Nice talk, Pete." Andy replied.
"I'm just saying."
"You know what? I don't wanna talk to you if you're in this mood." Andy said, sitting back and folding his arms. Pete rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, frowning.

Patrick sat at the table in the cafeteria, two cups of coffee in front of him. He warmed his hand against one, holding it close to him as he glared at the empty seat across from him. A shadow fell across the table as he took a drink, and he looked up to see Pete looking at him.
"I didn't say anything." Patrick whispered bitterly. "So you can leave me alone."
"Sorry, Patrick. I really am. I'm being a dick." Pete said pulling the chair opposite him out and sitting down.
"A huge one." Patrick added, nodding.
"Yeah, a huge one." Pete nodded. "Is this going?" He asked, pointing towards the coffee.
"If it'll put you back to the Pete I know, by all means help yourself." Patrick said, pushing it towards him.
"Thanks." Pete said, and they drank in silence, Patrick still too hurt to talk, and Pete trying to find the right words.
"I didn't mean any of that." He told Patrick, gesturing upstairs.
"Yeah, you did." Patrick replied.
"I spoke to Bob." Pete informed him.
"And told him to set up a day center for my kids, by any chance?"
"No." Pete shook his head. "Apparently we can record any time of day. So we could record at night, if you want."
"Huh?"
"Think about it." Pete said, leaning closer. "You can record at night. That means you could leave the kids with Amanda, if you want, or you can hire an au pair."
"A what now?"
"Oh, come on. It's a posh word for a nanny. You know, where they live with you, like do your housework and cook and look after the kids. Only when you need it, though."
"Oh."
"It's up to you, Patrick. There's more choices than you make out to be."
"I don't know. I just miss them too much."
"I know you do. But think, one day they're gonna go off to school and shit and you're gonna be missing them then. And what about when they're too old to take on tour with us."
"Oh, don't, Pete. That makes me ache." Patrick groaned, thumping his head on the table.
"It's true, though..."

"I think that's a great idea."
"Really?" Patrick asked that night, shocked at Amanda's reaction. He had told her about the morning's meeting, and what Pete had suggested about an au pair after his apology. He was expecting her to agree with him, that he should be at home every moment with Danielle and Josh. Amanda was in Patrick's bed reading, seeing as they were still in Chicago, and Patrick was standing in his bathroom, the door wide open so he could talk to her, pulling his jeans off and taking his hat off.
"Yeah. It'll give you some time to yourself when you need it, and when you come home you have dinner made for you. What more could you ask for?"
"I just think it's stupid to have someone else around who isn't a parent. Especially when they're so young." Patrick said, turning back to the sink.
"Gee, thanks." Amanda said. Patrick shook his head.
"No, I didn't mean that at you! Seriously, I mean like someone who doesn't know them like you do. You know. It's basically a stranger coming into your home and looking after your kids."
"I realize that, Patrick. But sometimes if you want something to work, you have to make sacrifices."
"The sacrifice being my children?" He said, staring to brush his teeth.
"No. Just a little of the time you spend with them."
"But I'll miss them." Patrick said with difficulty.
"I know, but seriously, Patrick. You stay here all day with them and they're asleep most of it."
Patrick didn't respond, just watched himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, as though waiting for his reflection to tell him what to do.
"I guess if they're asleep while I'm gone it wouldn't be so different."
"There you go." Amanda said.
"I still feel weird about it." Patrick said, spitting into the sink and turning towards her.
"Well, it's up to you." Amanda said, turning the page of her book while Patrick turned back to mirror and scanned his face.
"I guess it couldn't hurt. I mean, my music's my life too. So I have to juggle that too, right?"
"Right."
"And if I don't like the way things are going, I can think of something else. Right?" He asked, turning off the bathroom light and walking into the bedroom.
"Correct." Amanda said. She loved the way he got so confused, even though he was one of the most intelligent people she'd ever met. He sometimes acted like he needed help with the tiniest things.
"Alright. Maybe I'll do it." Patrick shrugged. "As long as they don't hate me for it."
"I doubt it. Anyways, it's only like four hours a day. And they'll sleep for most of it. Basically you'll have a housekeeper who babysits when you want."
Patrick nodded as he slid into bed and lay on his back, his arms folded across his chest.
"Alright. I'll do it."

Back in LA, around a month later, Patrick had finally found someone he thought was suitable to look after his kids and his house for a few hours a day. And, sensible enough to live with him. It had taken him forever and a day to interview the candidates, but he managed it. And, typically, it was the last woman who he fell for.
Her name was Rachel, a friendly Australian who smiled all the time and had a laugh that made Patrick feel comfortable around her. Her brown hair fell about her shoulders, and her brown eyes gave off an aura that left you wondering whether she was shy or wanted to be comforted. She was slightly older than Patrick, and had moved to the USA from Sydney a year back, believing there were more opportunities for her in the West. Patrick was more than happy with his choice, and a few weeks later, Rachel moved in.
"You alright in here?" Patrick asked, poking his head around her new bedroom door, where she was sitting on her bed cross legged on the phone. She nodded and gave him the thumbs up as she spoke into the phone.
"Sorry." Patrick said sheepishly, leaving the room and walking down the hall. He was amazed at how he'd seemed to find the perfect au pair, and was also amazed at how good she was at unpacking. She'd worked practically night and day to unpack all her belongings, repeatedly telling him 'the sooner I unpack, the quicker I can help out', whenever he objected and told her there was no rush to unpack. Patrick stood in the middle of the hallway, his thoughts drifting to Danielle and Josh, and how quickly one year had nearly passed.
He'd been there for everything, and he meant absolutely everything. Their first smile, their first tooth, boy, was that month hell. Screaming babies nearly twenty four hours a day had almost drove him insane, but as he hovered over their beds at night, he realized how totally worth it all the sleepless nights, all the worrying, all the money that was spent were. He had been part of these two becoming what they were today, both the image of their father, thankfully, and more mischievous day after day. Every morning when he woke up, he could still hardly believe his luck. Now, he was waiting for their first steps and their first words, trying desperately to help them walk or singing to them, the wild thought one of them would sing a word back to him in his mind as he sang. He made up songs as he put them to bed, mainly acrostic songs, inventing new melodies as he sang, but using the same lyrics each time.

D is for Daddy's girl,
A is for my little angel,
N is for the naughtiest one,
I is for I love you,
E is for your excited laugh,
Double L is for our love and laughter,
And E is how extremely sucky my lyrics are.

J is for Joshy, who Daddy loves more than words,
O is for over excited, 'cause you are most of the time
S is a swear word I won't even use 'cause it's bad, but it should be the way to describe this song
H is for His Majesty, who one day will have girls falling at his feet.

He would shake his head as he finished the song, sometimes laughing at their reactions, whether it was them laughing back or having a look on their face that almost screamed 'Dear god, Dad, shut up'. Then he would thank his stars Pete was the permanent lyricist instead of him. When he sang those songs, he realized how much his lyrics sucked.
Sometimes Amanda would watch him as he hung over their crib singing, or walking around their room rocking them slowly to sleep, singing softly into their ears.
"You're beyond amazing. You really are." She would say, and he would whip round, as fast as he could without startling Danielle or Josh, and grin at her, whispering a compliment in reply.
Things with Amanda only seemed to get better, and though they sometimes had the occasional argument, most of the time they were comfortable with each other. The only reason Patrick knew, apart from the fact he had stopped stuttering, was that he'd stopped shaking his leg when he spoke. Instead, he sometimes ran his hand down Amanda's leg and tell her he would soon get her leg shaking. She would laugh and push him away playfully.
"You're very confident when you're sexually active, Mr Stump." She said, raising one eyebrow at him in a joking way. Patrick would then feel embarrassed, even though he knew she was joking, and most of the time he felt bad for using a cheesy line, despite the fact it was only for effect.
"Sorry." He would mumble apologetically. "It's just that you do make me feel good. In more ways than one."

Patrick was jolted from his thoughts and memories, as always, by a knock on his door. He hoped it was Amanda. He could really use a cuddle.
"Pete. What are you doing here?"
"What? Hemmy and I can't drop by and say hi?" Pete grinned, walking in when Patrick rolled his eyes and stood back to let him in before closing the door again.
"No, no. You can. I was just..."
"Sorry about that, my mum was..." Rachel said in her strong Australian accent, embarrassed as she walked down the hallway into the living room, where Pete and Patrick were now sitting.
"Hi." Pete chipped in, standing up as she broke off and caught his eye. Patrick caught the glance between them and sighed quietly.
"Pete, this is Rachel, my... au pair." He hated saying it, he hated feeling like the boss. "But I rather calling her my friend." He smiled, and Rachel smiled back.
"Rachel, this is Pete." He added.
"Nice to meet you." Pete said, holding his hand out.
"You too. Cute dog." Rachel replied with a polite smile, her cheeks reddening a little as she returned the handshake.
"Thanks." Pete said, their handshake breaking off and his hand dropping back to his side. He didn't drop his gaze from Rachel's eyes as she realized this and looked at Patrick.
"I, uh... I could make some dinner if you want?" She half asked Patrick. He held up his hand and smiled.
"I'm good, thanks. But feel free to make yourself some."
"I'd go for some." Pete butted in, still watching her.
"Alright. I, uh... I'll see what I can do." She flashed him a smile before leaving the room. Pete flopped down into the armchair and grinned at Patrick.
"No, Pete. Please." Patrick almost begged. "She has more respect for herself than that. And that is my child's... friend." He said, replacing the title of 'au pair'.
"I'm not interested in a 'fuck'." Pete replied, looking out the living room door but knowing Rachel was in the kitchen. Patrick raised his eyebrows.
"Seriously." Pete told him honestly. "I really think... she's the most beautiful girl I've seen since Jenny."