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"Pete, if you fuck my au pair, I swear to God I'm going back on my decision." Patrick said, putting his head in his hands and leaning back in the armchair.
"Hey, if the feeling is mutual... you can't prevent feelings." Pete replied, perching on the side of his armchair and nudging him.
"Urgh. Shut up." Patrick mumbled, reaching for the remote, but Pete grabbed it before him, switching the TV on and flipping channels.
"Hmm, news, news, news. Boring. Why don't you have porn channels?"
"Do I look like I need porn?" Patrick asked. "Do I strike you as that disrespectful?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot you still lived in the fifties." Pete said, rolling his eyes. "It's not disrespectful, Patrick. It's /art/."
"Well that art you speak of is personal, and it should only be shared with the person you want it to be shared with."
"And in this case, it is. I mean, look. The girls want to share their bodies with the world. And I want to share my understanding of the human body with my television."
"Pete, stop talking, otherwise I'll throw you out my house."
"Sorry. I forgot you have Amanda porn." Pete retorted, and shrieked as Patrick thumped him with the cushion in Amanda's defense.
"Leave her alone."
"How's that going, by the way?" Pete asked.
"It's going good." Patrick said, a smile spreading across his face. "It's going real good, actually."
"Aw, my little lunchbox is in /lurrrrve/." Pete sang, flicking Patrick's hat with his fingers. Patrick ducked and rolled his eyes. Pete was in one of his stupid moods tonight.
"No, seriously. I'm happy it's working for you." Pete said, with a nod.
"Thanks, man." Patrick said, while looking at his watch.
"Oh, I gotta go. Amanda and I are going to her place for dinner."
"Ooooooh." Pete pouted his lips and made kissing noises at Patrick, who pushed him and shook his head.
"I swear, sometimes I think you're the same age as my kids."
"If I was, could I still have a crush on your nanny?"
"No." Patrick said, walking to the living room door. He stood back and pointed. "Come on, out."
"Aw, man. I don't wanna go." Pete said, sliding down the arm rest into the chair.
"Get going." Patrick said, gesturing him towards the door.
"Can I not stay here until you get back? Please? I want to keep a watch on the woman who will now be looking after my god children."
"Pete, I don't know why you, Andy and Joe always fight about that. None of you are their god fathers, because Josh and Danni aren't Christians."
"Ah, bringing them up on your Atheist beliefs, are you?"
"No. They can have whatever religion they want." Patrick said. "Come on, Pete."
"Patriiick. I want to stay." Pete said, slouching further down. Patrick sighed and looked at his watch again.
"I want to get to know her." Pete added from the couch.
"Fine." Patrick said, defeated. "But just make her feel comfortable, alright? Don't hit on her and don't lead her on."
"I won't. Bye!" Pete called happily.
After Patrick said bye to Josh and Danielle, he walked past the kitchen where Rachel was cooking.
"Wow. I think that's the first time those pots have been used." Patrick laughed. Rachel offered him some but he declined.
"I'm about to eat. Thanks anyway."
"Alright. I'll save you some anyways."
"Thanks. Right, I'll be back in a few hours, but, listen, Pete's gonna stay here for a while. Is that OK?"
"Sure, that's fine." Rachel smiled, moving around the kitchen.
"Alright. If he's weird, just ignore him, that's him all over. And if he's rude or offensive, he'd like that all over, too. You could just stay in your room if he hogs the TV or whatever. Or you can kick him out on my orders."
Rachel laughed, her hearty laugh that made Patrick grin.
"It's fine, Patrick. Seriously. I'd like to get to know him."
"Really?"
"Yeah. He seems nice enough, and plus, he's cute."
Patrick nodded, hoping he wouldn't come home to them sprawled out on the couch together. Or worse, him waking up in the morning and going through to the kitchen to find Pete already sitting there.
"OK. See you later."
"Bye. Have fun."

Patrick drove around the streets to get to Amanda's side of town, and as usual, was caught in traffic lights as herds of people made their way to movie theaters and clubs in every direction of town. Boy, there were some freaks in LA. There were weird people everywhere in the world, but LA seemed to be the host of all things bright and... transsexual on Friday nights. Avoiding their gaze as they scanned the traffic and the occupants of the cars lining the streets, Patrick shook his head and turned a corner when the traffic moved. He drove along a strip, where there were flashing lights everywhere he looked and billboards lining the streets. He casually glanced at one, and braked suddenly. Lucky there were no cars behind him.
"Fuck." He said quietly, staring up at the billboard as he got out the car and watched it, looming above him in the darkness, lit up by a border of lights around it. He took in the details, an advert for some new clothing line that was due to open only in LA, as an exclusive, and he looked at the range of clothes and, most importantly, the model. Long blonde hair that curled slightly at the tip, a perfectly figured face with deep blue eyes that shimmered in the light, even more so in the LA bustle. He looked at the pose, the model had one hand casually hooked in her jeans and the other running through her hair, as she looked down, smiling. He scanned those hands. Those hands he'd held for twenty hours in a tense hospital room.
There was no mistaking it.
It was Christina.


"Patrick? Why are you back so early?" Pete called, hearing the door close quickly and Patrick's footsteps down the hallway. At least he hoped it was Patrick. He walked into the hallway to see and hear Patrick's door close. Walking towards the door, he heard Patrick muttering, then silence.
Inside, Patrick was walking back and forth, whispering 'fuck' over and over as he dialed the phone.
"Amanda?"
"Hey, sweetie. You haven't left yet?"
"Uh," Patrick threw his hat onto his bed, sat down on it and ran his hands through his hair. "I, uh, can't make it."
"Oh, why not?"
"I, um, I'm sick." Patrick stammered as he lied.
"Oh, you poor thing. Wait, get into bed and don't move. I'm gonna come round and make you some soup."
"No! No, seriously, I'm alright. I just should go get some sleep or something. Anyway, Rachel's made some dinner if I have to eat."
"Good. I'm glad she did. Well, are you sure you don't want me to come round?"
"It's fine, really. I'll just go to bed early. I'll be fine after I sleep."
"OK. Get some sleep and make sure you drink lots of fluids."
"Right." Patrick said, his heart heavy. "Bye.'
"Bye, honey. You look after yourself."
Patrick replaced the phone and lifted his legs onto the bed, sliding under the duvet and pulling the covers up to his chin, biting his lip.
"I'm trying."

"Hello? Is anyone actually home?" Patrick called, setting down his guitar case, and the bag containing his laptop as he walked through the house. He was startled when Pete darted out of the living room grinning.
"Guess what? Josh just talked!"
"What?" Patrick asked, shocked. "Oh my God!"
He followed Pete into the living room where Josh and Danielle were on the floor, bouncing up and down to some show on the TV. Patrick nearly fell to his knees by Josh and stared at Pete.
"So what did he say?"
"He said Rachel!" Pete said excitedly. Patrick's heart sank and the smile faded from his face as he looked back at Josh.
"Right..."

Patrick awoke and stared at the ceiling, too hot in his clothes underneath the covers. He looked at the clock, 7:15 PM.
"Fuck." He groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, and walked towards the door, kicking his shoes off as he went. He felt even smaller as he walked down the hall into the living room, where Pete and Rachel were laughing at some show on the TV. Pete sure knew how to make a girl feel at home.
"Hey." He said quietly, from the doorway.
"Hey, man. What happened to your big dinner plans?"
"I, uh. I didn't feel too good when I got in the car."
"Aw. You want me to make you some soup?" Rachel asked.
What is it with people wanting to make me soup?
"No, thanks. I'm fine. Really." Patrick said. "Pete, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure..." Pete said, warily as he got up out of the chair. He followed Patrick into the kitchen and leant against the counter as Patrick tried to find his words.
"Dude, I swear, I didn't hit on her or anything. I just talked to her and..."
"It's alright."
"Honestly! We just talked for ages..." Pete broke off. "Oh. OK."
The kitchen was filled with a very awkward silence, only broken by the hum of the refridgerator. He watched Patrick looking at his feet for a few seconds, and spoke into the silence.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No." Patrick shook his head and then nodded again. "Yes. No, there isn't."
"So there is." Pete shrugged.
"I changed my mind, Pete."
"About what?"
"This." Patrick waved his hand around the room.
"Oh my God! You can't quit Fall Out Boy! I mean, I know LA is hard for some Chicago town boy to live in but..."
"No. Not that. I mean this." Patrick pointed towards the living room. "I can't let someone else bring up my kids."
Pete groaned and jumped up onto the counter, with a sigh.
"She's not bringing up your kids." He said. "She's helping you out."
"OK then, I can't let someone else help me out. I want to this myself."
"But, why? It's exhausting you."
"So? It's worth it. It's so... so damn worth it. It really is, Pete. I can't do this."
"So, what, you're gonna chuck her out after like one day?"
"It's been like two weeks."
"Well, two weeks then."
"Look, I said from the start that I would quit while I was ahead. So I am. I quit. She's going."
"Wow. You sound really mean. And where exactly is she going to live?"
"Well, I..." Patrick stopped. He hadn't thought of that. He couldn't just fire her and leave her to find her own place.
"She can live with me!" Pete burst out suddenly.
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah! That will be awesome. Then she won't be your nanny anymore, she can be my room mate. Then I would be able to flirt with her and seduce her and stuff, right?"
"I guess..." Patrick said, slowly. "But I really..."
"No, no, it's OK. Seriously. I know you'll be all 'whoah, you'll just use her and chuck her out too', but really, I won't."
"You better not. God, Pete, I'm gonna feel so horrible."
Pete shrugged and looked at him.
"Go ahead and make the beautiful woman redundant. Make her cry, even if you're feeling that mean."
"Shut up."
"Are you gonna tell her now?"
"I'm going to have to." Patrick said, taking his hat off and running his hands through his hair. He sighed and walked out of the kitchen. He walked back in and fiddled with the bottom of his shirt, looking lost.
"While I'm at being miserable, I might as well tell you I saw Christina today."
"What?" Pete said, almost slipping off the counter.
"Yeah. There's a billboard down 7th Avenue." Patrick told him. "She's modeling on it."
Pete opened his mouth to reply but Patrick had turned away and gone again. He jumped off the counter and followed Patrick into the living room.
"Uh, Rachel?"
"Yeah?" Rachel asked, looking up from playing with Danielle.
"Alright, uh, here's the thing." Patrick said, stuttering out of nervousness. "I, uh..."
"You don't think it's working out." Rachel finished for him. Patrick looked surprised.
"Well..."
"It's OK. Sometimes things don't work." She said. Patrick pushed his glasses further up his nose and bit his lip.
"You wanna be a total hands on daddy - just your kids and you. It's understandable."
"I'm sorry." Was all he managed to whisper.
"It's alright. Seriously. It's better to finish something before it begins, right?"
Patrick nodded, not really understanding what she meant. She put her hand lightly on his shoulder.
"No hard feelings, right?"
"None." Patrick said. "Really."
"Good." Rachel smiled, while Patrick watched her, in awe of how well she had taken it.
"But the best thing is... you won't be homeless!" Pete said from the doorway.
"Sorry?" Rachel asked.
"Well, if you're moving out of here, then you can live with me. If you want. I mean, I have room and my house is pretty damn lonely. Plus we're like the only people in America you know."
Rachel looked shocked. Why was Patrick so kind even when he was firing her? And why was Pete being too sweet for someone she'd just met?
"I... I don't know what to say. I mean, we've only known each other a few hours."
"Exactly. We'd be just as nervous around each other if you were my room mate under different circumstances. Right?"
"I suppose."
"Go on. It's not like we're dating." Pete said with a grin, turning around to Patrick and giving him the thumbs up as Rachel turned to look at Patrick. It was almost as though she were looking at him for his permission. He held his hands up.
"It's totally up to you."
"I feel really weird. But I would love to live with you."

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