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If that was the only way the evening wouldn't get any more awkward ..

Then Danielle would have to get drunk as shit.

Danielle didn't act drunk - she didn't want a bad first impression with Criss' family - but when Criss drove her home, she was letting loose.

"JoAnn, I can't thank you enough," Danielle said, sounding on the verge of tears, "for being so nice to me. I appreciate so much!"

"Oh, you're very welcome, Danielle," JoAnn said, looking at Dani sprawling in the backseat. She smiled at Criss. "You were smart to make JD take your mother out for some coffee."

Criss nodded and looked at Dani in the rearview mirror. He laughed slightly. "You comfortable back there?"

Danielle grinned at the ceiling. "Oh, man. Am I. Jesus Christ, you could sleep back here!" She groaned and stretched. "Mmm, where's Derek? Ugh, he's so gorgeous. If he weren't gay and my best friend .. mmm, I'd tear him apart." Danielle stumbled to sit up, leaning on her elbow so her face was right next to Criss' headrest. "Mmm, if JoAnn wasn't your girl, I'd bite your ear right now." Danielle crawled over to JoAnn, who was laughing slightly. "Oh, JoAnn, don't cry! I love you! I would never do that to you .. don't worry. Criss has only kissed me once."

"Oh, did he?" JoAnn asked, smirking at Criss.

"Yeah," Danielle slurred, feeling herself fall back onto the leather seat. "And then he ripped his shirt off and .. and .. fucked me on the counter."

Criss gaped at Danielle as JoAnn yelled, "Christopher!"

"I didn't do that, JoAnn!"

"You did kiss her, though, right?"

"Well, yeah, but - "

"She's telling the truth then!" JoAnn cried. "I can't believe you!"

"JoAnn!"

"Oh, no," Danielle said, sitting up again. "That's just what I wanted to happen. Heh, come on! He wouldn't screw me! I'm fat!"

"Danielle, you aren't," Criss said, pulling into the driveway of her apartment. He looked at JoAnn, who had her arms crossed angrily.

Danielle had begun to strum her fingers against her lips, enjoying the sound it made.

"She's drunk," Criss pleaded. "She even said; that's what she only wants to happen. It didn't really happen."

"Well, maybe she's like you," JoAnn stated matter-of-factly. "Maybe she has premonitions."

"We'll talk about this when I come back; I'm going to make sure she gets to her apartment safely."

"Oh, what a good little magician you are," she sneered.

Criss stared at JoAnn for a couple of minutes, before he forced open the car door and got out.

"It was great meeting you, JoAnn," Danielle said, hugging her around the back of the seat. "I love you. Let's get together soon, okay?"

JoAnn laughed and patted Dani's hands locked loosely around her neck. "Okay. Thanks for all the .. uh, information you gave me," she said, right as Criss opened Danielle's door. Dani's hands fell from her neck as Criss pulled her up and out of the car.

Danielle spun her way into the apartment building, then stopped and stared at Criss. He was a few steps ahead of her, slowly walking with his hands in his pockets.

Danielle bit her lip and giggled. Then took a running start, leaped into the air and landed on his back. His arms instinctively hooked under her legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Mmm," Danielle moaned. "You're so strong. How can you carry me? I'm fat."

"Danielle, you are not," Criss said, hoisting her up a bit.

"Yes, I am. You're just strong, so you can't feel it. And boy, are you strong." Danielle slid her hand down his chest, groping him.

"Okay, cut that out now," Criss said, unconvincingly.

"I don't think you want me to," Dani whispered, moving his hair to bite the top of his ear.

Criss stumbled a bit. Danielle smiled and grabbed his earlobe with her teeth.

"Okay, enough," Criss said, sighing.

Danielle moved down, kissing the area right behind where the earlobe and his head connected.

"Danielle!" he cried, groaning slightly when she kissed his neck. "Danielle, you need to .. " She opened her mouth on him, sliding her tongue along the back of his neck. He groaned. "Danielle. Danielle, which apartment is yours?"

"Top floor," she said, moving his hair off of his neck. She leaned down and bit him.

This time, he yelped. "Dani, you can't do that!" He dropped her to her feet. "You need to stop - damn it, Danielle!" he yelled, when she grabbed at his crotch.

"What?" she asked, innocently. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. When he started walking again, she sort of dragged along, leaning up to kiss the top of his chest, through his vampire-esque white button-down shirt. She moved the huge collar out of the way and kissed his Adam's Apple.

"Stop it," he said, dully.

"When they got into the elevator - with an elderly couple, besides - Danielle continued to kiss him in odd places. She got the first two buttons of his shirt undone, so she could kiss his actual chest.

The elderly woman would look over and grimace when Danielle would groan, or make really sloppy kissing sounds. Criss would look at the woman out of the corner of his eye and grin awkwardly.

"Newlyweds," she muttered, shaking her head. "Can't even wait until they're in they're own bedroom."

"Hah?" the old man asked, cupping his ear.

The woman repeated it louder and louder, until the old man just nodded.

Criss covered his eyes with his free hand - the other one was attempting to hold Danielle upright.

When they finally reached her floor, Criss stepped off and started to apologize to them, but Danielle tugged his tie and dragged him to her apartment door.

"Mmm, Criss, you're so hott," she muttered, kissing his chest and grabbing his ass with both hands.

"Danielle," Criss said, calmly, removing her hands and placing them at her sides, "open your door."

She giggled and wheeled around, unlocking the door and pushing it open. "Mmm, you wanna come in?"

Before Criss could answer, Danielle yanked him into her apartment. The door slammed shut, and Criss found himself being pushed against it.

"Danielle," Criss said, breathlessly. He pulled her hands out of his hair. "Stop. I can't do this."

"Of course you can," she mumbled, into his neck. "Don't you want to?"

"To be honest, probably. Yes. But I can't. JoAnn's my girl, and she's too important to me."

"So you were just going to take advantage of me? That's nice, Criss!" Danielle turned away, but Criss grabbed her wrists.

"No, I was not. You were going to take advantage of me!"

"Criss, if you don't like me, then why did you kiss me in my shop?"

"Because you're pretty! I love innocently kissing beautiful women!"

"Nothing," Danielle hissed, looking at Criss with malice in her eyes, "about you is innocent."

Criss just stared at her for a long time; her wrists were going numb from being locked in his hands.

"Do you want me to kiss you? Is that all you want?" he asked.

Danielle looked at him with heavy eyes. "If that's all I can get, I'll take it."

"You know, I really don't like it you got this drunk. Let's keep the alcohol to a minimum from now on. Sound good?"

"I used to be straight-edge, up until tonight."

Criss' eyes searched Dani's face. "Why'd you stop?"

"'Cause I thought you'd think I was young and immature if I was."

Criss scoffed. "Why the hell do care what I think?"

Danielle smiled, drunkenly, moving closer to his face. She whispered, "Because you're Criss fucking Angel."

Criss looked down at her. He groaned. "Oh, shit, don't tell JoAnn." He roughly closed his mouth over hers.

They stood at the door for a few minutes, groaning and groping - well, Danielle was.

Criss slowly pulled his head up.

"That's it," Danielle said, dejectedly.

Criss thought otherwise. Swiping his hand at the back of her knees, he hauled her into his arms. "Or, maybe not," Danielle said, grinning.

"Bedroom?" Criss asked, smiling at her. She pointed and he headed in there.