Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Tonight...

So many bright lights that cast a shadow

by dizzyxdancer 3 reviews

But can I speak? Well is it hard understanding I'm incomplete. A life that's so demanding, I get so weak...A love that's so demanding, I can't speak...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Romance - Published: 2007-06-26 - Updated: 2007-06-27 - 1007 words

It had been exactly one week since Emma had run out of the hospital. For some reason, she didn't bolt to her house; she had run to her parent's house, not wanting to be alone. She had spent the past week staying in her old bedroom that had been converted into a guest room. She had only talked to Patrick once and he had spent the entire phone call trying to convince her to come to Pete's parent's house, where Pete was staying, so she could talk to Pete. She refused to talk to him. She was afraid of what would happen. She was scared that she would let herself get taken advantage of and then Pete would disappear into the night again, leaving her alone and more confused than before. She decided that she needed to sever all ties with him, and just move on and forget him. She had no clue how she was going to do it, but she was determined to get over him. She sat on her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees, staring at the door to the closet. She was lost in thought. She didn't understand why she wouldn't just let Pete talk to her and explain himself. She didn't understand why she wasn't willing to give him a second chance. She loved him, so much, yet she was so scared to let him get close to her again. She picked at a thread on her pants and continued to stare off into space when she heard a knock on her door that scared her senseless.

She jumped up off the bed and opened the door, surprised to see Pete standing there. She stared at him for a moment, contemplating on slamming the door in his face. She decided against it because he would just open the door and storm in anyways. She stepped back and let him in. He stepped into the room and leaned against the doorframe. He looked tired and sick. His eyes seemed hollow and his face was pale. He also seemed to have lost a little weight. Emma looked at him, concerned, waiting for him to speak, since he was the one who so boldly came to her parents' house to speak to her. They stared at each other for a moment before Pete opened his mouth. "Emma, before you cut me off, let me say my piece," he said. She nodded and said, "Why won't you sit down, you don't look so hot..." He frowned and moved over to her bed and sat down. She followed him and sat next to him, both staring down at their shoes. "Emma, I am so sorry for everything I ever did to you. I wish that I had the courage to tell you how I felt back then, but you acted so in love with him, that I decided to ignore my feelings. But once we began our little fiasco, it was hard to deny how I felt. And then on that night, so many years ago, I knew I loved you and that you loved me...but something went wrong, I'm not really sure what, but we fell apart. I'm so sorry and I hope that you can forgive me someday..." he said, still staring at his shoes. She lifted her head up and looked at him. "Sorry doesn't cut it for what you did to me..." she snapped. He winced at the hurt in her voice. "I wish you could see how much I hate myself for what I did to you, and I wish you could see how much I'm trying to change, to be a better man for you..." he mumbled. She stared at him, not quite understanding what he was saying. "A better man for me?" she asked. He nodded. "Emma, I want to be with you...I need to be with you. I love you..." he mumbled, still staring at his shoes. She stared at him, trying to find the right words to say exactly how she felt. "Pete..." she began. He looked up at her and it was then that she noticed the tears in his eyes. She blinked, trying to not notice them. "I'm sorry for everything that happened between us. Not because it happened, but because of HOW it happened. I will never regret what we had. Never. I feel the same way you do, I need you in my life...but I can't be with you until you get yourself together first. I still need to figure myself out. How can we make this work if we have no clue how to make OURSELVES work?" she said, reaching for his hand. She entwined her fingers with his and laid her head on his shoulder. "Emma, I'm sorry I said I did this to forget you, but I truly did. When I woke up, still alive, I knew that something was telling me that this wasn't over...that's why I had to come see you. I'm not ready to give up on life. I'm not ready to give up on you..."

She knew she was going against everything she had sworn herself not to do. But she couldn't help it; she felt they needed a second chance. She had decided against all the negative in her mind. She knew that the only time in her entire life that she had ever felt happy was when she was with Pete, and she was damned if she was going to let that chance slip out of her fingers this time. But she knew that they needed to sort themselves out first. She hoped he would understand.

She felt tears splashing down onto her hand and she lifted Pete's head up. She wiped his cheeks and held his face in her hands, her face inches away. He stared down at the floor and whispered, "I feel like such a failure..." She leaned her forehead against his and whispered, "So do I..."

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