Categories > Original > Fantasy > Virtual Reality
The Second Test
2 reviewsOkay, guys, I have a goal. My first original story that I actually completed called "My Sanctuary" was a total of 84 pages. "Virtual Reality" is at a total of 67 right now. I'm hoping to reach over...
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Virtual Reality
(#) panda_1418 2007-06-27
Yay, he did save her ... but kinda screwed up in the process. Who wants to bet that someone gets hurt and now Jake can't heal 'em? Ha-ha, good chapter though. Love the action, the hint of romance and the song lyrics. Perfecto!Virtual Reality
(#) fruit_addict 2007-06-28
ooooo.... suspense! There was a part where the story contradicted itself. At the beggining of the chapter it says that he's off to take the test of the heart then later it says its the test of the soul. Once I read the test it seemed more like the heart test so I'm guessing there was a blooper there. Besides that as usual a few spelling, wording and grammer issues. good story, I was really excited when I got the memo that another chapter was added ;).
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