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"What?"
"Oh God." Patrick said. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"She can't do that!"
"I know! Oh, God, Amanda, she's gonna take my kids." Patrick said turning towards her. "She's gonna take them away from me."
He looked behind Amanda at Josh and Danielle, who had no idea what was going on as they happily banged on the trays in front of them.
"She's going to take them." Patrick repeated, and he suddenly felt more angry than he'd ever been. The anger gnawed away at him, for all the months he'd spent crying over Christina, from all the times he'd wished his children knew their mother, from the sheer irony of it all. How Christina had had no interest in them for all this time, while Patrick pleaded and prayed and wished on every star that she would. And now she did. And she was going to take it all away from him. This was no mistake a mother had made, thinking she couldn't cope with children. This wasn't something that was destined to happen. This was something Christina had planned for, once she had run out of ideas how to let Patrick know he could never escape her, despite how wonderfully he had coped without knowing about her plan. He crumpled the letter in his hand and shook fiercely, his hands unable to hold onto the counter.
Right then, standing in his kitchen, he hated Christina.

"She can't." Patrick said, slowly, while Amanda placed a cup of tea opposite him on the coffee table. She had sat him down in the living room as he began to shiver, and hugged him.
"She will." Patrick said, again slowly. He hadn't said anything for fifteen minutes but 'she can't' and 'she will', or 'she can't do this to me'.
"Shh, it's alright." Amanda said, pulling his head closer towards her and he leant on her, depending on her more than he'd depended on anyone in his entire life. It felt like he was in a dream, or a movie, where the things that were taking place would subside when he woke up or pressed stop. If only he could press stop right now. He'd rewind all the times he'd begged Christina for something she'd never give him.
Patrick stopped speaking, trying to hold himself together, the only emotions he could feel were hatred and shock. He felt as though he were five years old again, and that this was his mother cuddling him after he'd scraped his knee or had a fight with his sister. God, how he wished he was five years old again. Then he would have people to look after him, and he would only worry about what time he went to bed, or whether he had to eat his vegetables at dinner.
But instead, he was in his twenties, not five years old. And instead of relying on other people to look after him, he had to look after himself, and his own children. It was his turn to cuddle them when they scraped their knees. He had to remain strong for them. He had to fight for them.
There was a deafening bang on his front door and he jumped, his heart racing. He ran towards the door, almost scaring himself that if it was Christina, he would hurt her. Patrick would normally never hurt a fly, but today his years of anger had built up inside of him. How dare she. How dare she.
"Patrick!" Pete cried as soon as Patrick answered the door.
"What?" Patrick stammered.
"Jenny came back. She came back and told me stuff I never wanted to know. I hate her, I physically hate her. And I hate your ex girlfriend and I know you love your kids so much, you're the best father in the world, and I feel so sorry for them because of the blood they share. "
"Excuse me?"
"The blood they share with Christina. God, Patrick, I hate myself. I really do. It's all because of her!" Pete yelled, although he was becoming more quiet. He suddenly clutched at Patrick, clinging to his T-Shirt.
"Oh, God, Patrick. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If I knew... I never would have..." Pete broke off.
"What? What, Pete? Tell me, please."
"Jenny." Pete said, shaking his head violently. "She was never in it for me."
"What?" Patrick kept repeating.
"She did it for Christina. She stayed with me so she could keep check on you and everything that went on. So she can turn around and do this. They had it all mapped out from the beginning. From the very moment you knew about Christina and that Danny guy. From the very moment she kissed him for the first time, it was all planned. So they could turn around and slap this on you, to make you look bad and to make you miserable. And presumably because Christina was so lonely she wanted you to pay. I'm sorry Patrick. You have to believe me."
He waved his hand around and Patrick stared at him, blinking in disbelief.
"No..., no." He said, shaking his own head.
"I'm so sorry. I really am, I never would have done it... I never would have stayed with her." Pete apologized over and over. Patrick sat down slowly. Everyone on this god damn planet was against him. Asides from the people in his house right now, his family and Joe and Andy, everyone else was in it to let him lose. Pete took hold of him by the shoulders, and looked straight into his eyes.
"We're not going to let them win, Patrick, don't worry."

"So what can you do?" Patrick asked quickly, leaning forward in his own attorney's chair. His attorney was supposedly one of the best in LA. Patrick had worked hard for money and now he was going to pay whatever it took to keep his children like he deserved.
"Well, your ex pretty has a pretty full file on you."
"I beg your pardon?" Patrick asked, confused. His lawyer consulted his notes, his glasses pushed far down his nose as he read.
"Well, it states here that the reasons for her desire to have full custody of her children are due to your 'incapability to provide secure family environment'."
"What does that mean?" Patrick asked. He was clever, but he was no lawyer. He may as well be a patient in a hospital while doctors stood over him and discussed syndesmology and andiology.
"It means, that, due to your chosen career, your ex partner has reasons to believe you would not be able to promise your kids a stable home life."
"That's ridiculous." Patrick argued.
"And she also has reasons to believe you are living with another woman whom she doesn't approve of."
"Excuse me? Christina doesn't know a thing about Amanda. In fact, she doesn't even know what she looks like. She hasn't seen my since my babies were about three months old and we left for LA. And besides, we don't live together."
"Well, we'll have to explore each of these points made in this file."
"Are there anymore?"
The attorney nodded and turned a page.
"Your ex partner also has reasons to believe you have a companion who is under the influence of drugs."
"Huh? Amanda doesn't..."
Joe.
"Oh."
"Oh?" The man questioned Patrick.
"My, uh... my band mate has... a sort of, tendency to... enjoy a spliff or a few." Patrick said, avoiding eye contact.
"Right."
He leaned forward in his chair.
"Mr Stump, if you're serious about keeping your children..."
"I am!"
"Then I suggest you tell me any information I may be able to hold against her in court and help you gain full custody."
Patrick slumped down in his seat. Someone was sitting here telling him to slag off his ex? He didn't want to, but he didn't want Christina to win. She didn't deserve it. Danielle and Josh didn't deserve it. They were just the victims in a violent break up, and they were just the cogs in Christina's attempts to lay into Patrick. What he'd done to deserve any of this, he had no idea? Was it all really because he was a musician?
Well, fuck this, he thought, I'm not letting her take my babies away to pay for doing something I love.
"Mr Stump?"
"Yeah. Um. Well, as a matter of fact, Christina was unfaithful to me."
"Really?"
Patrick nodded.
"That's why we broke up. And then she told me she was pregnant with the twins. But then we didn't know it was twins."
"I see." The lawyer said, scribbling the words down as Patrick spoke.
"And she told us both we were the father."
"I'm sorry, you and the man she cheated on you with? Assuming it was a man, of course."
Patrick tried not to laugh, his mixture of nervousness and dread threatening to overcome him and cause him to burst out laughing out of uncomfortable tension.
"Yes, it was." He said, composing himself and breathing out slowly. He remembered something else and held his finger up.
"And, well, my best friend Pete... he was seeing this girl and they broke up a few months ago. She tried to kiss me and Pete and I..."
"My apologies, but she tried to kiss you?"
"Uh, yeah."
"So you didn't have a preferred sexual relationship with this woman?"
"With Jenny?"
A nod.
"No! God, no. Pete's my best friend, I would never do that to him. Wait - does it say that in the file against me?"
Another nod, and Patrick fumed.
"That's ridiculous! Honestly. The only reason Jenny was with Pete was so she could spy on me and go back and plot this little scene with Christina!"
"So you had no idea Christina and Jennifer knew each other?"
"No."
"OK, now, we'll have to explore each of these accusations, as I mentioned before, but is there anything else you could tell me?"
Patrick pondered for a few seconds, and looked up.
"I don't know if this counts, but, you should know Christina hasn't seen the babies once since they were even born. As soon as she fell asleep after giving birth, she never looked at them again. She refused to, she said if I didn't take them home with me, then they would go and live with her mother. And I bet her mother wouldn't take them, so they would end up in care."
"So Christina refused to see the children, and you were forced to take them home with you?"
"She refused to see them, yes. But God, no, I wasn't forced. I was a father - I was besotted. I still am. You can't let her take this away from me, Sir."
"So there wasn't any forced arrangements and agreements made about the residence of the babies?"
"No." He paused and then groaned. "Why? What does it say?"
"Well, Miss Johns seems to recall you threatening her with a law suit if you weren't allowed to take the children home."
"What? That's complete bullshit!" Patrick burst out.
"Mr Stump, please try and control yourself. I know this isn't an easy process, but it's a lot easier if we don't curse each other."
"Sorry."
"Don't worry, Mr Stump. I'm one of the best in the business. I'm going to do my best for you. And my best is well recognized."

"How'd it go?" Amanda said, as soon as Patrick opened the door.
"It's horrible. I had to sit there like I was in the principal's office. And then get asked all these questions about something I tried to hard to forget and move on from."
"Aw, honey. Don't worry. We'll get through it. I promise."
"Why does everyone keep telling me not to worry? I have a god damn reason to be worried! And what if I lose this case, huh? People keep promising me and telling me it'll be alright but it won't. It won't. This won't ever be alright."
Amanda stayed quiet, wishing more than anything she could help Patrick, but she was powerless. So was he. There was nothing they could do but wait and pray everything would turn out like the movies. But this wasn't a movie, it was real life and it was a hell of a lot more scary than some movie. She scanned his face, the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and too much coffee. She had pleaded with him to stop drinking the coffee, it would just keep him up and cause him to replay the facts even more, but when she'd tried to spray some sleep mist on his pillow and given him a hot water bottle to relax him in bed, he ripped the covers off and sat up, staring straight ahead, hugging his knees. There was nothing she could say to console him right now. His laptop lay unattended, the unfinished songs stored on it, and Patrick had no desire to finish them. It was the first time he'd wanted to crawl in a hole and just die. Every time he saw Danielle and Josh, his heart shattered all over again. For all the times they would wonder about the mother they never had, or maybe the father they would never see again if he lost this case. Maybe it would turn into a scenario where his kids grew up with a careless mother, who focused more on her career than her children, where they made their own dinners every night, stayed up until 3 am until their mother returned home with a different guy every night, and they would become tearaways at school because of the ever absent father who was 'just a musician'. The father who they would never know bathed them, fed them, changed them and sang to them every single night when they were too young to understand why they were alive, or what the word alive meant. The thought of his kids growing into those people stabbed at him like a knife, and he decided, no matter what, he wouldn't back down. There was no way he could. He was in love with his children and no one, not even the woman he'd loved for five years, was going to take them away from him.
"Nothing's ever alright." Patrick said, slowly, staring straight ahead.
"It can be." Amanda said quietly, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him on the lips.
"I promise."
"Stop promising! Everyone who's ever promised me anything always breaks it." Patrick said sadly, pushing her hands away and leaving the room. Amanda sighed, wondering what she could to do help Patrick. How could you help someone who doesn't even want to be helped?
She listened to Patrick in the next room, kicking his shoes off and closing the bathroom door. What hurt her even more was that he was so angry with everyone, everyone except his children, his family, but he wouldn't yell at her. The pain in his voice tortured her even more than if he had yelled at her. All she wanted to do was curl up with him and help him, whatever way she could. But there really wasn't anything she could do. This was opening gates Patrick had tried to close off long ago. Gates he thought he'd never have to open again. Everything that was happening was taking Patrick back to a time when he didn't even know Amanda existed. If she tried to help him, he would only resent her for getting involved in something she knew nothing about.
But Amanda did know. She knew she loved Patrick more than Christina hated him.