FicWad

Gerard's P.O.V.

On my way to the airport, I started thinking about Ana again. I knew I shouldn't dwell on it, but it was just so hard not to think about her. Hard not to think about how her crystal clear, blue eyes penetrated mine when she told me she loved me, hard not to think about how her soft tan skin contrasted with the lush grass in the field we used to lay in. One minute I was driving on the road, reminiscing about our love. The next, I couldn't see straight and new thoughts were terrorizing my mind.

'I could be with her; all I have to do is just swerve off the road, that easy.'

'But I don't want to leave? What if it doesn't work, and what if I just end up alive but paralyzed?'

'She and I would be together forever, finally...'

Before I really knew what I was doing, my car was headed for an oak tree at fifty miles an hour and I was backed up against the leather seat, preparing myself for impact. I snapped my eyes shut and let go of the wheel, using my hands to cover my face.

"I don't want to do this; I don't want to do this!" I said to myself just seconds before the car and the tree made contact. I let out a terrified wail as my thin body slung forward and back, showered in the windshield's glass. I could feel my skin being torn open b the sharp shards, and the airbag immediately sprung out of the steering wheel, saving me from any further damage. Once the car came to a stop and glass stopped pouring down, I shakily raised my head and tried to look around.

I wasn't dead, not at all. Quite the opposite, I was alive and felt the pain of trying to end it all, bleeding and shook. Lifting a hand to my sweat-coated forehead, I traced a line down my cheek and along my jaw bone. I looked back down at the hand, now covered in blood, and I started to sob. Now I knew that I was so close to seeing her angelic face, but close just wouldn't cut it.

My eyes closed and my body pressed in the seat, I felt like I couldn't move when I heard someone's voice.

"Sir? Are you okay?" I heard a voice call into the car, and I struggled a difficult nod. "He's alive," I heard him say to someone else, and they immediately began to pry the twisted metal of the car door open. After about two minutes they had it off and were pulling me out of the car. My mind raced for an excuse, some logical explanation as to why my car was now wrapped around a tree trunk. I stood up, trying to balance my weight on my right leg until I made it over to the cop car. I leaned on it as a police officer approached me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded again, "Okay, then I am going to have to ask you how this happened. Do you know exactly?"

"I just lost control of the car, and it swerved off the road. It didn't show any signs of malfunction before this, but now-" I guess he figured this acceptable enough and walked back over to inspect the damage at the scene. I sat helpless on the back of the car, trying to find any good light to shine down on this turn of events. And I was mad now, I was supposed to die. I couldn't tell them that, they'd take me away as a crazy suicide attempt and I'd never go home. The guys would be so angry at me, I shuddered at the thought.

Moments later, while I was lost in my own little train of thought, Kristen came bounding down the hill and over to me. "What happened? Are you okay.' I didn't say anything at first, and I was getting tired of that question. Then I started to shake my head and she came over, pulling me into a tight embrace. "What did you do, Gee?" she sighed, hugging my head to her chest.

"I ju-just w-wanted to be with her," I whispered, and she hugged me closer.

"No, please. Don't okay? I couldn't deal with losing both of you. That would be too hard."

"I won't. I promise."



A Few Hours Later

Kristen helped me clear everything up with the accident and within five hours we were allowed to go home. It was relieving to know that this whole ordeal would finally be over. We walked out to her car as the golden California sun was setting across the shore. I opened the door and sat in silence for a moment. Not since I crashed had I been able to make eye contact with her, for fear that I might see the hurt that snuffed out their passion.

She got in after a few minutes staring into the horizon, watching the sun disappear. I was afraid to speak. But then, what would you say to the sister of your dead girlfriend after you tried to commit suicide? An awkward silence hung in the air as the engine started and we pulled out.

"Where were you going?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

I wasn't sure how to answer; I didn't want to say that I was going to the airport. I didn't want to tell her I was going to leave, leave her here all alone. But I had no other choice, if I didn't, I would eventually get caught in my web of lies. "The airport." I mumbled and the car came to a screeching halt.

"Why were you going to the airport?" she asked, now looking at me, confused.

"Mikey and Frankie, they wanted me to...to g-go home." I said. She looked at me with disappointed eyes and I continued. "I didn't know how to get a hold of you and telling you face to face would have been too hard. I just thought I could get away and home..."

Kris started the car back up and turned around.

"Where are we going?" I asked, noticing that this wasn't the way back to her house. She didn't say anything, just turned on the radio and blasted the first song that came on. Immediately singing along to "Face Down," by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, I couldn't get her attention. Then it hit me that she was ignoring me. Yeah, it took me that long to figure out. I looked out the window at the dark blue sky, random stars showing up against it like diamonds on a piece of silk. I touched the cool glass of the car window, wishing that I could see Ana one more time. I knew she was up there, somewhere, looking down at me. I just wish I was up there with her. I wish I was dead.

I leaned my head against the window and counted the street lights we passed until I fell asleep. I woke up about thirty minutes later when the car came to a stop, not realizing where I was at first.

"Where are we?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"The airport. This is where you said you wanted to go, right?" I nodded slowly and she unbuckled her seatbelt, stepping out into the humid air. "Well, come on." I got out of the car and immediately realized that I had left my crutches in the now busted up car being towed to a dump somewhere. I sighed and made due just limping around, at least I still had the Ace bandage. We walked inside and I made my way over to the nearest desk.

"When is the next flight to Belleview, New Jersey?" I asked.

"About two hours," she responded, and I nodded. Looking over at Kristen who was now busying herself with a random magazine, I turned back to the woman.

"Can I have two tickets for that flight, first class?" I asked and continued with the transaction. Minutes later, I made my way back to where Kristen was sitting. I took the seat next to her and she set her magazine in her lap and looked at me.

"So, did you get your ticket?" I nodded and set the ticket I got for her in her lap, on top of the magazine.

"Oh, no. No, Gerard, I couldn't. I have a job and...I just. No. I'm sorry."

I had to get her to come; I couldn't face the guys alone. Let me rephrase that, I couldn't face Mikey alone. He was going to rip me apart if I came home alone, and I wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't even if Kristen were to come with me.

"Please, Kris?" I looked at her with hopelessly hopeful eyes. After looking at her longingly for about six or seven minutes, she finally nodded. I smiled and waited for our plane to be called so we could start boarding.

Now boarding first class, flight 72A. I got up and grabbed her hand. Finally, on my way home.

Hah.. long chapter, hope you liked it. I heart reviews! They make me update faster.