FicWad

I woke up the next morning because I heard smacking sounds coming from beside me. I didn't think much of it, and I pulled the covers over my head. But when I heard that annoying giggle that belonged to slutface, my eyes went wide and I shot up.

There I saw slutface and Gerard making out. It really didn't even look like a kiss. It looked like they were trying to devour each other's heads. It was all icky and junk.

"Could you not do that when I'm in the room!?" I cried, jumping out of bed. "Didn't you see the sign? It clearly said 'No Whores Allowed'. You need to obey that rule."

"Shut it, Skankpuppet," slutface hissed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, so now you're calling me Skankpuppet, too?"

"Well, it suits you."

"Oh, shut up."

Gerard leaned back. "Roxie, shut up."

"Oh, so you're calling me Roxie, and she's calling me Skankpuppet? And you're making out while I'm right beside you? That's a lovely way to start the day."

"If you weren't so jealous because I'm prettier than you, you wouldn't be like this," slutface explained.

She's not worthy of having her name capitalized like everyone else's.

"You're so conceited!" I cried. "No one thinks you're 'pretty'. They think you're easy, which you are!"

"Better to be easy than to not be able to get any!"

"I don't want any! I'm a Christian! I actually have morals!"

"Christian? Pshh. You think that Jesus can help you? That's stupid. He won't do anything for you. Or anyone else. He's selfish."

I was furious. Did she really just insult MY Jesus? My best friend? The only person I could talk to when everything around me was falling to pieces? The one who fixed everything when I needed help? The only person I could trust?

Once again, I lost control and punched her. In the eye.

She flipped off of Gerard's lap and landed in a heap on the floor. I casually stood up as Gerard scrambled to help her. That whore.

"Do you think that you can insult my best friend, and get away with it? I don't think so, slutface," I explained.

I walked into the kitchen to eat, but Gerard followed me.

Gerard pulled me off of the bus and started screaming at me almost immediatly.

"What the hell was that about, Skankpuppet?!" he snarled.

"Well, Gee, I don't like waking up in the morning and seeing the two people I hate more than anything sucking face in the same bed as me!" I yelled.

"Get over yourself! Anna's the best damn thing to ever happen to me! You just can't stand to see me happy! You're so miserable and lonely, you can't stand it. You're falling down, and you're dragging me down with you. Oh, and by the way, Little Miss Christian, you're not a good person at all! I mean, you hate two people, you're violent, mean, you haven't gone to church since who knows when, you're starting to curse, I haven't heard you pray in at least two weeks, and you're envious of Anna! Plus, you're judging people!" he ranted. "What's next, Skankpuppet? Are you gonna start drinking? Maybe you'll do drugs. Who knows. Maybe you'll turn into a junkie!"

It hurt.

It hurt bad.

Because everything he'd said was true. (Except for the whole "anna's the best thing to ever happen to me!", because if that was true, he life sucked.)

"Oh, screw you," I mumbled, opening the door to get back on the bus. I couldn't though, because Mary was in my way.

"Roxie, what's wrong?" she asked. I was about to burst out into hysterical sobs, and the last thing I needed was to cry in front of Gerard.

"Nothing," I whispered, avoiding eye contact. I tried to push past her and get back on the bus, but she wouldn't move.

"Hey, Gerard, slutface is on the bus crying about something. She probably broke a nail. Why don't you tend to it? She's annoying us to death, complaining about her eye, Roxie, and Jesus. I don't know," Mary told him. "Didn't she see the sign on the bus door?" she asked, pointing to it. "It clearly says 'No Whores Allowed'."

"Roxie already explained it," he said, getting on the bus.

Mary wrapped her arms around me in a smothering hug. Then, right before I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen, she let go and linked arms with me. "We're going for a walk! And you're going to tell me all about what's wrong, mkay?"

"Mkay," I mumbled back.

We walked to the park, and I spilled my guts out about everything that Gerard had said, and waking up next to slutface, and her insulting Jesus.

"Roxie, you're nothing like that," she said after about five minutes of silence. She sat down next to a homeless person on a bench.

"This is my bench!" the old homeless dude snapped.

"Well, can we borrow it?" I asked.

"No. But you can rent it. Five dollars for ten minutes," he offered.

"Listen, you old man, I'm not paying five dollars to sit on a bench in a public park! Here's ten dollars. Go get something to eat and a toothbrush. Your breath smells." I tossed a ten dollar bill at him, and he didn't know whether to say thanks or be offended, so he just took the money and ran.

Mary beamed. "See, Roxie? You do good things! But you do them in your own special way!"

"Huh?"

"You just told that bum to straighten up and bathe in terms he'd understand, and with fire, plus you gave him money," she explained.

"But, Gerard said-"

"Forget Gerard! Forget slutface! Let's go race shopping carts down hills like we did last summer!" she yelled.

"Yeah!" I said.

"You know what I just realized, Roxie?"

"What?"

"You're still in your pajamas!"

I looked down, and saw the black and white Nightmare Before Christmas bottoms and the black tank-top that I wore to bed. I had my Van knock-offs on, though, for some reason. It'd been warm lately, so I wasn't chilly or anything.

"Oh," I giggled. "I am!"

So we ran to the nearest Wal-Mart, stole two shopping carts, and raced down hills. We went down the hill six times, and I crashed eight. I'm not sure how.

On the last crash, I skinned up my elbow pretty bad, so we took the shopping carts back and made our way back to the bus.

"You're the bestest friend ever!" I suddenly cried, hugging Mary.

"I know. I'm also the hungriest best friend ever," she told me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Let's go back to the bus and make Bob cook us something!"

She agreed, so we linked arms again and skipped all the way back to the bus. I managed to get blood all over her, though, because my elbow was bleeding and that was the one we'd linked together.

"Bob! I'm hunnngry!" I cried, jumping on his lap. "Can you fix something?"

"Why can't you cook?"

"Remember when Frankie and I tried making cookies?"

It was horrible. Frankie had gotten the measurments wrong, so we slipped in two cups of baking powder instead of two tablespoons, and we'd run out of sugar, so we decided sprinkles would work, because they're mostly sugar. And who doesn't love extra chocolate? We put twice the amount we were supposed to in. Those cookies were icky. They weren't even edible. It was horrific.

"Good point," he said, getting up to fix something for us. "I'm hungry anyway."

"Whoa!" Ray cried. "What happened to your elbow?"

"I crashed the shopping cart."

"Let me clean that up," he said, taking me to the bathroom and making me sit on the sink, just like he'd done that night I'd fallen out of bed during Christmas.

"You know what, Ray?"

"What?"

"You'll make an awesome dad one day."

He smiled. "Thanks, Roxie. And one day, you'll make an awesome wife."

"Thank you!" I said, grinning. He smeared my elbow with some sort of medicine that made it hurt worse, but was good because it cleaned it out. "Ow!"

"What's wrong?"

"It hurts so good!" I cried, then realizing what I'd said. We started laughing. Today was going to be a good day. I could tell.

We ate Hamburger Helper that Bob made, slutface finally left, I locked the doors so she couldn't get back in, then stole Gerard's cell phone and blocked her calls (I admit, that was mean. But she was annoying, so I didn't care), I fought with Gerard over what movie we were going to watch, but we ended up not watching a movie because Mikey wanted to watch the Corpse Bride.

Again.

I was all for that though. It was around five when slutface appeared again, banging on the doors and demanding that we "let her in or she'll call the cops!"

Gerard glared at me. It was like he knew I was the one that locked the doors.

"How on earth would the cops help you in a situation like this, you idiot?" Mary asked.

She had a black eye. I giggled.

"They'd make you unlock the bus," she stated.

I ran a hand through my hair. "This bus isn't yours, slutface. They wouldn't make us unlock it at all."

"They would to!"

"Okay, Princess, why don't you go outside and call the cops, and tell them we won't let you in? See what they do."

"Fine!" she said. "I will."

She walked outside, and I slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Hey, turn the TV up."

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hmm.couldn't sleep.
i'm addicted to ficwad. i swear.
it's two in the morning. i'm leaving tomorrow for an action packed day at magic springs.
haha.
next week, my other best friend and i are having a contest to see who can stay up for the longest.

expect updates on sunday and until i fall asleep. lots of them.

rate. review. be loved.

oh! by the way! Rae_She_Writes rules. thanks for the awesome review.

anyway..onwith whatever you were about to do.