Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Honor's P.O.V.
When I heard Ryan say those words, part of me was tempted to open the door and start the healing for both of us by slowly regaining his trust back.The other part of me told me that if he wanted to try to forget me then, that was his decision and he'd have to live with it.Another part of me wondered what the fuck he was thinking and why the fuck he wanted to forget me yet remember me.That honestly made no sense.He'd give anything to erase us from each other's lives yet he'd never forget me ever?I'd always known that Ryan was weird but he was even weirder than Max had been.
I shivered and remembered the spark I'd felt when I'd kissed him this time.I prayed that he'd felt it too and that he'd come back just to feel it again.The part of me that had been eager to have sex with him was severly cut down and I felt utterly dead like I had before I'd met him.I wanted to open the door and find Ryan so he could make me feel alive again.Before I'd met him, I'd felt so dead because I'd killed Max and part of me had died with him.I walked back over to my bed, leaving the door unlocked as I laid down on my bed, half-hoping that Ryan would come back and tell me how much in love he was with me.I wound up falling asleep for the first time that wasn't following a long period of me bawling my eyes out over him.
When I woke up, I was surprised to find Ryan laying beside me asleep.I sat up and he picked his head right up.I stared right at him, wondering why the hell he was laying in my bed.He must've realized why I was staring at him after a few minutes of silence between us because he finally spoke.
"Ed sent me up to tell you that dinner was ready around five.Actually, he was originally going to send up Brendon, but Jesse kinda shot me a glare that pretty much said volunteer-to-go-talk-to-Honor-or-else-you'll-die-in-your-sleep-mysteriously.I didn't have the heart to wake you 'cause you look kinda pretty when you're sleeping.I just couldn't resist the temptation of falling asleep beside you again." Ryan's pale cheeks turned bright red and I bit my lip trying to not to grin at how cute and dorky he looked or asking if he was bipolar person with extreme emotional issues because of what he said before.
"You're more beautiful when you're sleeping than I am." I chuckled and glanced over at my clock and saw that it was only 10ish.He'd spent almost four hours curled up next to me, even after what he'd said.
"I'm not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"AM NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"Are we really fighting about something stupid?"
"I'll keep on fighting it until you accept that you're beautiful when you sleep."
"Honor, you're so stubborn."
"I know."
"You're just about as stubborn as me."
"I know that too."
"Is there anything you don't know?"
"Ummmmmmmmm.How to suck a dick?" I giggled, feeling suddenly happy that Ryan was here actually talking to me.Yes, he had the ability to turn me into a smartass teenager who's mind was stuck in sex most of the time.
"I'd say suck mine but you'd probably bite it off."
"I wouldn't.Girl Scouts Honor."
"You know, I have no clue why I was posessed to actually lay down here next to you so if I were you, I'd watch what I say."
"Sorry." I pouted.
"Aw.It's okay.You're lucky I'm giving you a second chance.But trust me, if you hurt/kill me, Spencer/Brendon'll kill you."
"I don't intend on killing you at all."
Ryan grinned then leaned over and pecked me on the lips.He then pressed his lips to mine and I felt that spark again.His lips moved against mine gentlely and I moved mine in sync with his.To my surprise, he prodded my lips with his tongue, dragging his tongue across both my lower lip and my upper lip.I permitted him entrance hesitaintly, unsure of why he would want to do this so soon after we'd both admitted that we loved each other.His tongue ran over every surface in my mouth seemingly eagerly exploring and it brushed over my tongue more than once causing me to moan into his mouth as he moaned into mine.After what seemed like forever, I pulled back not only for air but to ask him a question.He was panting softly as was I, both of us in need of air.
"Should we really be doing this so soon after....................." I gestured my hand even though I knew he knew what I meant.
"Relax.It's not like we're gonna fuck or anything.Even though I'd do that in a second if you asked me to.You're 'The One'.I feel it when we kiss." Ry touched my arm, sending shivers down my spine as he did so. "So do you want to?"
"Want to what?"
"Suck my dick."
"Oh, god, Ryan.You're beginning to sound like Brendon, which is bad."
"Well, I did pretty much spend most of the afternoon around him since I left you.Besides, you're acting like me, so who am I supposed to act like?"
"I'm just being me."
"Explains why we normally get along so great.So are you gonna or not?"
"Want me too?"
"Sure."
When I heard Ryan say those words, part of me was tempted to open the door and start the healing for both of us by slowly regaining his trust back.The other part of me told me that if he wanted to try to forget me then, that was his decision and he'd have to live with it.Another part of me wondered what the fuck he was thinking and why the fuck he wanted to forget me yet remember me.That honestly made no sense.He'd give anything to erase us from each other's lives yet he'd never forget me ever?I'd always known that Ryan was weird but he was even weirder than Max had been.
I shivered and remembered the spark I'd felt when I'd kissed him this time.I prayed that he'd felt it too and that he'd come back just to feel it again.The part of me that had been eager to have sex with him was severly cut down and I felt utterly dead like I had before I'd met him.I wanted to open the door and find Ryan so he could make me feel alive again.Before I'd met him, I'd felt so dead because I'd killed Max and part of me had died with him.I walked back over to my bed, leaving the door unlocked as I laid down on my bed, half-hoping that Ryan would come back and tell me how much in love he was with me.I wound up falling asleep for the first time that wasn't following a long period of me bawling my eyes out over him.
When I woke up, I was surprised to find Ryan laying beside me asleep.I sat up and he picked his head right up.I stared right at him, wondering why the hell he was laying in my bed.He must've realized why I was staring at him after a few minutes of silence between us because he finally spoke.
"Ed sent me up to tell you that dinner was ready around five.Actually, he was originally going to send up Brendon, but Jesse kinda shot me a glare that pretty much said volunteer-to-go-talk-to-Honor-or-else-you'll-die-in-your-sleep-mysteriously.I didn't have the heart to wake you 'cause you look kinda pretty when you're sleeping.I just couldn't resist the temptation of falling asleep beside you again." Ryan's pale cheeks turned bright red and I bit my lip trying to not to grin at how cute and dorky he looked or asking if he was bipolar person with extreme emotional issues because of what he said before.
"You're more beautiful when you're sleeping than I am." I chuckled and glanced over at my clock and saw that it was only 10ish.He'd spent almost four hours curled up next to me, even after what he'd said.
"I'm not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"AM NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"Are we really fighting about something stupid?"
"I'll keep on fighting it until you accept that you're beautiful when you sleep."
"Honor, you're so stubborn."
"I know."
"You're just about as stubborn as me."
"I know that too."
"Is there anything you don't know?"
"Ummmmmmmmm.How to suck a dick?" I giggled, feeling suddenly happy that Ryan was here actually talking to me.Yes, he had the ability to turn me into a smartass teenager who's mind was stuck in sex most of the time.
"I'd say suck mine but you'd probably bite it off."
"I wouldn't.Girl Scouts Honor."
"You know, I have no clue why I was posessed to actually lay down here next to you so if I were you, I'd watch what I say."
"Sorry." I pouted.
"Aw.It's okay.You're lucky I'm giving you a second chance.But trust me, if you hurt/kill me, Spencer/Brendon'll kill you."
"I don't intend on killing you at all."
Ryan grinned then leaned over and pecked me on the lips.He then pressed his lips to mine and I felt that spark again.His lips moved against mine gentlely and I moved mine in sync with his.To my surprise, he prodded my lips with his tongue, dragging his tongue across both my lower lip and my upper lip.I permitted him entrance hesitaintly, unsure of why he would want to do this so soon after we'd both admitted that we loved each other.His tongue ran over every surface in my mouth seemingly eagerly exploring and it brushed over my tongue more than once causing me to moan into his mouth as he moaned into mine.After what seemed like forever, I pulled back not only for air but to ask him a question.He was panting softly as was I, both of us in need of air.
"Should we really be doing this so soon after....................." I gestured my hand even though I knew he knew what I meant.
"Relax.It's not like we're gonna fuck or anything.Even though I'd do that in a second if you asked me to.You're 'The One'.I feel it when we kiss." Ry touched my arm, sending shivers down my spine as he did so. "So do you want to?"
"Want to what?"
"Suck my dick."
"Oh, god, Ryan.You're beginning to sound like Brendon, which is bad."
"Well, I did pretty much spend most of the afternoon around him since I left you.Besides, you're acting like me, so who am I supposed to act like?"
"I'm just being me."
"Explains why we normally get along so great.So are you gonna or not?"
"Want me too?"
"Sure."
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