FicWad

Sadly enough, an old man like Moolaf could do many things. He could steal their fourtune, abandon them on the street, or make them cookies. An old man like the Count Moolaf who was their gaurdian, could think up a dastardly, evil, cunning plan that would out wit them.

And this is exactly what happened. After being beat for the 491284182349th time at the Dii Sports, Moolaf declared the Ficdelaires the winner of the tournament.

"Now," he said, eyes hidden behind his omnious dark sunglasses, "how about we raise the stakes a little?"

The Ficdelaires were suspicous. "What kind of stakes?"

"Oh," he said, twirling the Dii Remote around on his finger, "just that the winning team of this particular tournament gets some money. To be specific, your fortune."

Evlet burst out laughing. "Sure," she said. "Why not?"

Manda was more suspicous. "Team?"

"Yes, I am going to invite some of my . . . associates over. It's only fair, as you have three people to play with, and I am all alone."

"Fine. Just be ready," spat Manda.

"Moo!" shreiked Emmy for emphasis.

- - -

Exactly one hour - a word which here means 'sixty minutes,' or 'thre thousand, six hundred seconds' - later, Moolaf's associates came over.

First, a woman with a beard, but no hair entered, and a man with hair but no beard. "This is Lizzard," said Moolaf as he pointed to the woman, "and this is Michelle." He pointed to the man with hair but no beard.

"Michelle?" giggled Emmy.

The man shot her a dirty look, and said, "Call me Mike."

Then came two women with ornate, black masks on - a phrase which here means 'they were wearing hideous things that should have been burned.' They didn't have names, apparently, as the mysterious duo just shook the Ficdelaires' hands and went on into the parlor.

Lastly there was a hook-legged woman. Her name was Crystal. "Nice to meet you, Ficdelaires," she said warmly.

The children disliked her straight away.

He made the three children shake hands with all of his 'associates' before herding his children down to the parlor, where the Dii was set up with the wide screen T.V.

- - -

Five rounds, four sports, and three losses later, the Ficdelaire children where flabbergasted. They were dumbfounded. They were speechless. They were fortuneless, more importantly.

"How did . . . " began Evlet.

"Why . . ." began Manda.

"MEENYBUT" yelled Emmy. The youngest Ficdelaire probably meant something like 'you don't think you're actually going to get away with this, you great big oaf!'

"Oh, but I am," said Count Moolaf. His associates laughed. "We wagered your fortune. You lost. And you're wondering how I could beat you so badly?"

The children nodded.

"I was feigning - a word which means - "

"We know what 'feigning' means, Moolaf."

Moolaf ignored her and moved on " - 'faking' - and am a champion Dii sports player. He waved a medal in front of their faces. "And now I am a rich champion Dii sports player, thanks to you." He laughed evily.

At that very convient moment, Raely walked in the door. "No you're not, Moolaf," she announced. "Do you have any proof? A legal, binding document?"

"Erm . . . " he stuttered. "I . . ."

"I thought so." Raely turned to the three Ficdelaires. "I decided to visit after Raely told me what happened. She's such a stubborn mule."

The children just stared.

Raely faced the sinister Count Moolaf. "And betting is not an acceptable trait for a foster father of these three children. Pack your things. We're going away," she spat.

The three Ficdelaires were, for once, obedient, and did exactly as Raely directed them to. As they sat in the back of the snazzy electric blue Mercedes, they wondered if they'd ever see the trenchcoated villian again.