Categories > Cartoons > Kim Possible
AN: This little skit was inspired by thinking about "Ron Millionaire" (I've only seen the transcript, but hey). Don't ask. Of course, upon making certain that you can post script-written fanfiction, I decided to post this as a bit of celebration fic.
Ratigan: Just get it over with already, woman!
Me: ...
Disclaimer: I own no one. Ratigan belongs to Eve Titus and Disney, while all KP characters mentioned just belong to Disney.
AN: This little skit was inspired by thinking about "Ron Millionaire" (I've only seen the transcript, but hey). Don't ask. Of course, upon making certain that you can post script-written fanfiction, I decided to post this as a bit of celebration fic.
Ratigan: Just get it over with already, woman!
Me: ...
Disclaimer: I own no one. Ratigan belongs to Eve Titus and Disney, while all KP characters mentioned just belong to Disney.
--------------
(After Ron gets his check for $99,000,000 dollars, a gigantic crated package arrives in the mail, carried by two burly guards. When they set down the crate, Ron gives a wad of dollars to both of them. Meanwhile Kim and Ratigan watch on with mixed interest and annoyance.)
Kim: (unsure) Ron, don't you think this is a bit... extreme?
Ron: Come on, Kim! I'm rich! If I want people to know it, I gotta show it! Ya know, flaunt it!
Ratigan: Yes. (in mock-thought) As I recall, the last person who said you should "flaunt it" is probably still serving jail time for fraud.
(Ron walks to the crate.)
Ron: (not listening) Yeah, right.
Ratigan: (glancing at Kim) Yes... (covering it with a cough) Max Bialystock.
Kim: Mm-hmm.
(Ron tries {and fails} to pry open the crate with a crowbar.)
Ratigan: (dryly) So, what's in that chest, Ron? The cursed treasure of the Isle de Muerta, chest and all?
(He slashes off the lid of the chest {flaming gloves and all} in one swift move. Ron stands there, briefly stunned, then continues.)*
Ron: No, just a few personal items.
Ratigan: "Few" meaning "few billion"?
Kim: Ron, you're already making yourself into this big fool! First the whole Bueno Nacho thing, then the whole tutor thing, now this! Is there nothing you won't blow out of proportion?!
Ron: You're one to talk!
Kim: What do you mean?!
Ron: Look at you! It's always "Kim Possible does this" or "Kim Possible does that"! No mention of me! Who had to fight Monkey Fist when he stole those Mystical Monkey statues?!
Kim: Ron, I-.
Ron: Kim, you weren't even there! And who had to deal with Killigan after you lied to me and your parents?! Personally, I want my own piece of the spotlight, and I'm not going to let the fact that no one knows my name get in the way.
(Ron storms off as Kim watches on, helpless. Ratigan {now miniature} dives into the packing as Kim watches on.)**
Kim: So... Any cursed Incan gold?
(Ratigan pokes his head out of the packaging.)
Ratigan: Aztec gold, Kim. If you have a social life, you should at least have seen that movie.
Kim: No, I usually tend to avoid movies whose fandoms are believed to be compromised of inane fangirls who constantly scream (mockingly) "Orliii!!!"*
Ratigan: Oh.
(He dives back into the packaging. Kim sighs.)
Kim: Why is it Ron always gets this way with these things? I mean, what happened with the whole Bueno Nacho incident?
(Ratigan examines a gold necklace with a giant R.)
Ratigan: Ron became manager due to his creation, and you were ultimately demoted to "cheese duty".
Kim: And the whole "home economics" thing. How about that?
(A cap with an R on the front now.)
Ratigan: I asked Wade to download the clip of you being dragged down the hall by that mixer from the cameras, you know?
Kim: (flatly) Swell. (back to her normal "problem" voice) And now this! (sighs) I don't know. Maybe he's right.
Ratigan: (back to package diving) That you're not giving him enough credit? No argument there.
Kim: (sighs) Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to him. This has to stop.
(Ratigan is now standing on the edge of the crate, wearing the Full "Ron Millionaire" Monty.)
Ratigan: (imitating a rapper) Word. (starts to tip over) Wah-hoa!!
(He falls over, standing up {in his human-sized form}.)
Ratigan: (clears throat; rapper voice again) Word.
Kim: (sighs) Whatever.
(Ratigan takes off the necklace and stuff and puts it back into the crate, walking over to Kim, placing a comforting arm over her shoulder.)
Ratigan: (comforting) Kim, Kim, Kim, worse disasters have happened?
Kim: Name one.
Ratigan: Oh, I don't know. The Hindenberg, the Titanic...
(Kim smiles, pacified.)
Kim: Let's go.
(They leave. Cut to the next day, after Ron has just given Kim $20. Ratigan looks on, looking like he's ready to strangle Ron.)
Ratigan: Ron Stoppable, eh? More like Ron Simpleton.
(He snorts like a mad bull, then smiles wickedly.)
Ratigan: (voice of a man with a plan) Well, Monsieur "The Ron", you shall suffer me...
(He stalks off. Cut to Kim, Monique, and Zita {sitting in a Bueno Nacho booth} watching Ratigan chasing Ron demonically back and forth.)
Ratigan: (practically roaring) ...you brainless little Sith-spawn! You wouldn't know humility if it bit you on your arrogant little posterior!...
Kim: Well, things are definitely back to normal. (pauses) Or as normal as it ever will be...
Fin
* - Whether it's coming from the gloves or are his own powers are up to you.
** - Now this is definitely one of his powers (alternating between human size and rodent size)
* - This is just my opinion, thank you. There are other reasons for watching Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean aside from Legolas and Will Turner, thank you.
--------------
Ratigan: So you reposted this just because they allow script-fiction here?
Me: Yep.
Ratigan: Just because it was there?
Me: Yep.
Ratigan: And that's a good enough reason for you?
Me: It certainly seemed a good enough reason for you to steal the crown jewels...
Ratigan: (sulks)
Ratigan: Just get it over with already, woman!
Me: ...
Disclaimer: I own no one. Ratigan belongs to Eve Titus and Disney, while all KP characters mentioned just belong to Disney.
AN: This little skit was inspired by thinking about "Ron Millionaire" (I've only seen the transcript, but hey). Don't ask. Of course, upon making certain that you can post script-written fanfiction, I decided to post this as a bit of celebration fic.
Ratigan: Just get it over with already, woman!
Me: ...
Disclaimer: I own no one. Ratigan belongs to Eve Titus and Disney, while all KP characters mentioned just belong to Disney.
--------------
(After Ron gets his check for $99,000,000 dollars, a gigantic crated package arrives in the mail, carried by two burly guards. When they set down the crate, Ron gives a wad of dollars to both of them. Meanwhile Kim and Ratigan watch on with mixed interest and annoyance.)
Kim: (unsure) Ron, don't you think this is a bit... extreme?
Ron: Come on, Kim! I'm rich! If I want people to know it, I gotta show it! Ya know, flaunt it!
Ratigan: Yes. (in mock-thought) As I recall, the last person who said you should "flaunt it" is probably still serving jail time for fraud.
(Ron walks to the crate.)
Ron: (not listening) Yeah, right.
Ratigan: (glancing at Kim) Yes... (covering it with a cough) Max Bialystock.
Kim: Mm-hmm.
(Ron tries {and fails} to pry open the crate with a crowbar.)
Ratigan: (dryly) So, what's in that chest, Ron? The cursed treasure of the Isle de Muerta, chest and all?
(He slashes off the lid of the chest {flaming gloves and all} in one swift move. Ron stands there, briefly stunned, then continues.)*
Ron: No, just a few personal items.
Ratigan: "Few" meaning "few billion"?
Kim: Ron, you're already making yourself into this big fool! First the whole Bueno Nacho thing, then the whole tutor thing, now this! Is there nothing you won't blow out of proportion?!
Ron: You're one to talk!
Kim: What do you mean?!
Ron: Look at you! It's always "Kim Possible does this" or "Kim Possible does that"! No mention of me! Who had to fight Monkey Fist when he stole those Mystical Monkey statues?!
Kim: Ron, I-.
Ron: Kim, you weren't even there! And who had to deal with Killigan after you lied to me and your parents?! Personally, I want my own piece of the spotlight, and I'm not going to let the fact that no one knows my name get in the way.
(Ron storms off as Kim watches on, helpless. Ratigan {now miniature} dives into the packing as Kim watches on.)**
Kim: So... Any cursed Incan gold?
(Ratigan pokes his head out of the packaging.)
Ratigan: Aztec gold, Kim. If you have a social life, you should at least have seen that movie.
Kim: No, I usually tend to avoid movies whose fandoms are believed to be compromised of inane fangirls who constantly scream (mockingly) "Orliii!!!"*
Ratigan: Oh.
(He dives back into the packaging. Kim sighs.)
Kim: Why is it Ron always gets this way with these things? I mean, what happened with the whole Bueno Nacho incident?
(Ratigan examines a gold necklace with a giant R.)
Ratigan: Ron became manager due to his creation, and you were ultimately demoted to "cheese duty".
Kim: And the whole "home economics" thing. How about that?
(A cap with an R on the front now.)
Ratigan: I asked Wade to download the clip of you being dragged down the hall by that mixer from the cameras, you know?
Kim: (flatly) Swell. (back to her normal "problem" voice) And now this! (sighs) I don't know. Maybe he's right.
Ratigan: (back to package diving) That you're not giving him enough credit? No argument there.
Kim: (sighs) Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to him. This has to stop.
(Ratigan is now standing on the edge of the crate, wearing the Full "Ron Millionaire" Monty.)
Ratigan: (imitating a rapper) Word. (starts to tip over) Wah-hoa!!
(He falls over, standing up {in his human-sized form}.)
Ratigan: (clears throat; rapper voice again) Word.
Kim: (sighs) Whatever.
(Ratigan takes off the necklace and stuff and puts it back into the crate, walking over to Kim, placing a comforting arm over her shoulder.)
Ratigan: (comforting) Kim, Kim, Kim, worse disasters have happened?
Kim: Name one.
Ratigan: Oh, I don't know. The Hindenberg, the Titanic...
(Kim smiles, pacified.)
Kim: Let's go.
(They leave. Cut to the next day, after Ron has just given Kim $20. Ratigan looks on, looking like he's ready to strangle Ron.)
Ratigan: Ron Stoppable, eh? More like Ron Simpleton.
(He snorts like a mad bull, then smiles wickedly.)
Ratigan: (voice of a man with a plan) Well, Monsieur "The Ron", you shall suffer me...
(He stalks off. Cut to Kim, Monique, and Zita {sitting in a Bueno Nacho booth} watching Ratigan chasing Ron demonically back and forth.)
Ratigan: (practically roaring) ...you brainless little Sith-spawn! You wouldn't know humility if it bit you on your arrogant little posterior!...
Kim: Well, things are definitely back to normal. (pauses) Or as normal as it ever will be...
Fin
* - Whether it's coming from the gloves or are his own powers are up to you.
** - Now this is definitely one of his powers (alternating between human size and rodent size)
* - This is just my opinion, thank you. There are other reasons for watching Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean aside from Legolas and Will Turner, thank you.
--------------
Ratigan: So you reposted this just because they allow script-fiction here?
Me: Yep.
Ratigan: Just because it was there?
Me: Yep.
Ratigan: And that's a good enough reason for you?
Me: It certainly seemed a good enough reason for you to steal the crown jewels...
Ratigan: (sulks)
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