Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Twelve Disasters of Christmas

Eleven Giant Cacti

by SilverWolf7007 7 reviews

Hermione and the others aren't sure why, but the leadup to Christmas in Gryffindor Tower seems to be fraught with nothing but chaos, mistakes, and of course, Harry trying to be helpful.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Blaise Zabini, Colin Creevey, Dean Thomas, Draco, Dumbledore, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Justin, Luna, Lupin, Neville, Parvati, Professor McGonagall, Ron, Seamus Finnigan, Snape, Theodore Nott - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-07-10 - Updated: 2007-07-10 - 982 words - Complete


On the eleventh day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me...

Eleven Giant Cacti

It wasn't the first time Hermione had been woken by a scream, but the first thing that she noticed upon waking was that it sounded more like a scream of pain than a scream of terror or disgust.

She then decided that being able to differentiate between types of screams indicated that she had been spending far too much time in the wrong sort of company, and immediately blamed Harry.

Then she remembered that someone had just screamed in pain, and so she grabbed her wand and headed for the Common Room.

When she arrived she was immediately reminded of the evil snowmen from two days previous, but knew that this would be much, much worse.

Most of the other girls were all behind her on the stairs (as Hannah and Susan had taken to sleeping in Ginny's dorm mates' beds after the incident with Bob) while most of the boys were standing on the other staircase.

Harry, Luna, Blaise, Theodore, Justin, Draco and Ron, however, were all in the Common Room, and they were surrounded.

From the way Harry was rubbing his thigh, Hermione deduced that he had been the one screaming. "Harry, are you all right?"

He looked up and his eyes widened. "'Mione! Everyone, stay on the stairs! Don't set even one foot onto the floor of the Common Room!"

"Harry, what is going on?" Ginny demanded over Hermione's shoulder.

"We are being surrounded by giant cacti."

Ginny rolled her eyes impatiently. "Well /obviously/, Harry. Why? Where did they come from?"

"That is a very good question," Draco informed her, not taking his eyes off the cactus closest to him. "If I ever find out the answer to it, I am going to eviscerate the person or people responsible."


In Malfoy Manor, Voldemort sneezed.

"Are you catching a cold, my lord?"

"Perhaps I am, Lucius. Have Severus brew me a Pepper-Up potion."

"Yes, my lord."

"Did you deliver our Christmas gift to Mr Potter?"

Lucius glanced over at the tree in the corner of Voldemort's makeshift throne room. "I believe so, my lord. I asked one of the house elves to deliver the large red package to the Gryffindor Common Room's Christmas tree."

Voldemort suddenly looked alarmed. "The
red one, Lucius?"

"Yes, my lord. The red one
was for Potter, wasn't it?"

"No, the red one was for
Fudge/, Lucius! Potter's is the /green one that's still there!"

"Damn! I will have it delivered immediately, my lord, and hopefully Fudge's gift won't do too much damage."

Voldemort gave him a rather worried frown. "It was supposed to kill the Minister, Lucius, so I hope so as well."


Hermione ignored Draco's homicidal tendencies and considered the eleven spiky plants that were beginning to hop in a circle around her friends. "Anyone have any ideas?"

"I thought that we could burn them," Blaise offered. "But then I was a little worried that they'd leap onto us and we'd burn too."

"I watered my cactus too much and it died," Luna stated. "But I don't think we have quite as long as it took for that to happen before we get poked to death."

"What about transfiguration?" Seamus suggested. "Didn't McGonagall have us practicing on cacti last year because they're more susceptible than other plants?"

Hermione beamed at him. "Wow, you actually payed attention that day! Seamus, I'm impressed!"

"What were we turning them /into/, though?" Dean wondered. "I just can't seem to remember that lesson..."

"You skipped that lesson because you had a major Potions essay to get finished by the afternoon," Seamus reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."

"I turned mine into a jellyfish, but I got detention for it, so I don't think that's right," Theodore volunteered, backing into Luna while trying to dodge a cactus 'arm'.

"Plus I hardly think that jellyfish would be much of an improvement," Ginny snorted.

"Stuffed animals," Ron revealed. "It was stuffed animals. I remember because - ow! Because I turned mine into a stuffed rat and then used it for target practice."

Hermione eyed his now bleeding arm worriedly, but nodded. "That's right, I remember now too. Okay, each of you take the one closest to you, and Ginny, Lavender, Seamus and I will take the last four."

"On three then," Harry confirmed. "One...two...three!"

Seconds later, there were eleven large stuffed animals surrounding the group in the Common Room.

Hermione knew that it had to be Ginny's lion and Seamus's cat on either side of her stuffed version of Crookshanks, and Ron's rat was easily recognizable.

The same could be said of Justin's badger, Lavender's rabbit, Draco's snake and Harry's large black dog.

The remaining three stuffed animals were a unicorn, a wolf and a polar bear.

"Whose unicorn is that?" Hannah asked, eyes shining.

"Uh, that would be mine," Theodore admitted.

"It's adorable!" the girl squealed.


"The wolf is mine," Blaise revealed. "And the Harry-bear is Luna's, obviously."

"Harry-bear?" Hermione asked, stepping down from the stairs to see it more closely.

"Green eyes and a red Santa hat," Blaise pointed out. "Very Harry."

"How did you two get surrounded down here as well?" Ginny asked of her brother and Draco.

The two exchanged a glance. Draco shrugged, gestured for Ron to explain and wandered away to help Harry with the positioning of the Common Room's new decorations.

"We were coming down to have an early game of chess," he began. "We saw that the others were surrounded and we were about to go and help them, but the second our feet came off the bottom step a few of the cacti came and herded us into the middle with them."

"Well that explains that."

They then turned and watched as Harry began arguing with Draco about whether or not to put the lion and snake together.
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