FicWad

Stacy ran; ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran past the venue, the city and the lights, blurring past her in a haze of alcoholic mistakes and tear gushing sobs. Her bare feet pounded upon the cold pavement, past the stony gravel and ignoring the digging of broken glass, she allowed it to scar so brutally. She held her discarded shoes in her hand and they banged against her side as she took strides with her legs that were already starting to throb along with her heart and along with the rest of her insides. She could feel claws of deceit finger around her skin as though her betrayal pressed imprints into her. She fell into everyone she passed, jolting her shoulders as they turned shocked at her but she knew she could not stop, she didn't want to stop, she wanted to run until the road beneath her feet disappeared and she came crashing down onto the rocks. She wanted to wade out into an ocean and let her disgust drown underneath her head. She lifted her aching head to see the details of her street come rolling into her sights, she had never prayed for it so much more in her life. She gripped her keys in her bag and shoved her keys into the door, a trickle of warm blood came from the soles of her shoe but she was not afraid of the stains they may place on her hallway floors. She slammed herself on the stairs and shut the door.

She didn't want to move, for a moment she couldn't she merely stared at the vibrations her slammed door caused. For some reason they rung out louder and mixed with the slurred intoxications of the events. The feel of Patrick's hands all over her, the way he repeatedly entered her and sent waves of pleasure down on him. His scent made her stomach twist but no longer in nauseating circles. Deep inside her she felt shards of her heart shatter so they were splinters on the bottom of her soul. She couldn't trust herself any more; she couldn't believe what she had just participated in. Stacy had fallen pray to her own temptations and if she was honest with her self, she would have again. This made her eyes water harder, she seated her head in the palm of her hands and almost howled into the flesh. She leaned her head against the wall of the stairs and cursed herself repeatedly.

What was worse was that she knew that her heart, whatever pieces were left, still longed for Patrick. The moment they had entwined at her party was filled with so much lust and an aroma of love and passion. She couldn't help but remember how much need there was for him, it was as though she had avoided him for this long because she knew it was going to happen, she couldn't deny that his grasp on her was stronger than Brian's. She began to calm down her shallow breathing and think about things, placing crooked parts of her mind into slots that barely managed to home them. She sighed and let Patrick's voice and memories filter throughout, their memories together before he hurt her. They were best friends; they could read each other like nobody knew. They knew how each other worked and they laughed and joked with each other. Yes, Stacy did have the something similar with Brian but Patrick offered the past, the security and above all the excitement. With Patrick, no matter how much she refused it, with Patrick she had home and that infuriated her more than anything.

I love you Stacy.

Stacy's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. She flustered around as she dried the furiously dry her eyes. However the more her thumbs began to knock her eyes more came pouring out and soon her eyes came face to face with Brian, staring lovingly and caringly at her. Stacy could not help but feel rage; rage at herself and rage at Patrick.

"Hey," he said softly at her. He let his eyes drag over the intricate details of her; her mascara black eyes pouring out gushes of sadness. Her shaky hands and her obviously heaving chest were nothing as he stared intently at her feet. "Oh god you're feet what happened?"

"The shoes were killing me; I took them off on the way home and stood in some glass." She muttered with a stuttering moment. Brian rolled his at her with affection and disappeared from her sight. He was back in moments with a cleansing cloth and a bandage. She couldn't help but cry harder as he attentively began to clean her up, dabbing at her wounds with love.

"Hey hey, what's wrong?" He said as he wrapped the bandage around her foot. He leaned one hand up to her cheek and cupped it, pressing his lips against hers. She did not respond just let him comfort her for a second before pushing him away. She pressed her hands upon her chest. Out of confusion he stuttered, "What, what is it?"

"We need to talk," she said to him, in a serious tone he had never heard from her. He stood up from his crouched position at the bottom of the stairs and looked at her, crossing his arms slightly. She stayed sat down, feeling creature like, wishing she could crawl across the floor and beg for his forgiveness. "We can't do this, I have done something terrible."

Brian's eyes opened wide out of fear as Stacy's shoulders began to shake uncontrollably, "What have you done?"

"I've given in to temptation," Stacy muttered, "I've fallen in love with someone who isn't you and let him take me in his grasp. I don't ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. Just understand that this was never meant to happen. I was never supposed to love you."

She stood up feeling some determination that was swirling around with anger, she felt her soul drop to the floor. The worlds around her spinning as she was letting her one ounce of happiness go. The person who had completed her and the stability he provided. He just wasn't enough. She faced him as though it were the hardest task to do in her life. She could not carry on with him knowing how she truly felt. She took his hand and placed the engagement ring in the pillow of it.

"I'm sorry," she slipped on her shoes and walked out the door.

**
ciao Bella