FicWad

"Wrap it before you tap it fo shizzle man." Echoed from the receiver before Patrick shut off his phone rolling his eyes as he did so, Pete was being ridiculous. He shoved his cell in his pocket as he walked down the dimly lit hallway. For a second he contemplated knocking but opted to try the handle first. He shrugged as he opened the door, why she never locked the door was beyond him but it was then that he made a mental note to mention it to her, it's not like she lived in the best of neighborhoods. Patrick opened his mouth to yell for her as he let himself in but bit his tongue at the last minute.
Samantha was oblivious as she danced around her apartment in her underwear singing along to Prince's 'Little Red Corvette.'
Patrick realized that the correct response to walking in on someone doing this would be laughter but he had absolutely no urge to laugh. Maybe it was the fact that he had a unhealthy obsession with Prince, maybe it was because the shirt she was wearing stated 'Breasts Not Bombs' making his eyes fixate in that general area of her anatomy OR maybe it was the fact that if he would have gotten here about 10 minutes earlier he would have most certainly walked in on her in the tub - either way he was strangely aroused.
Samantha continued to sing horribly off key as she propped her leg on a stool and reached for the lotion.
Oh sweet Jesus, he found himself thinking, please don't do that.
Almost as if she had heard his thoughts she tossed a glance over her shoulder screaming when she noticed him standing there. She hopped slightly as her toes tried to dodge the falling lotion bottle.

"You should," Patrick stopped to clear his throat, "you should really lock your door - is that a dinosaur on your panties?"

"What?" Samantha snapped before looking down noticing immediately that she was in her underwear, "Uhm yeah," She blushed, "it's a Clitoris Rex, get it? Clitoris Rex - " She pointed to her crotch as she began to nervously ramble.

"Got it. Totally got it." He cut her off as he cleared his throat once more.

"Knock much?" She questioned while pulling on PJ pants. Patrick began to stammer, he had no answer to that question, usually he knocked.
"Whatever," Samantha sighed, "what can I do for you?"

Wrong question.
"Uhm, what?" Patrick scratched his neck nervously, surely she couldn't be eliciting what he thought she was.

"Well I'm assuming you came here for a reason it's out of character for you to come this late without calling. Did you leave something here yesterday? Cause I didn't notice anything."

Patrick sighed in relief; of course she wasn't coming on to him.
"No actually but I am thoroughly impressed with the fact that you know me so well . . . or so you think. Dun dun dun." He laughed evilly for emphasis. Samantha however only rolled her eyes in response while stifling a laugh. "I had to talk to you about something, it was kind of last minute and just figured I'd swing by and forgot to call." He rambled on for a bit until she took pity on him and cut him off.

"What's up?" Samantha replied with a smile before biting into an apple.

"Uhm, I'm leaving."
This was the hard part about making friends, but usually he just left and assumed that everyone knew where he went - he didn't make special trips to inform them in person.

"But you just got here, I think. How long were you standing there?" She questioned with her mouthful of apple as she leaned on the counter.

"I had just walked in, but wait, no like as in not now. As in I'm going on tour. Well to L.A. and then on tour, but it's all semantics." Patrick tried to explain with his eyes shut afraid to see her somber expression.

"That's awesome, are you excited?" Samantha perked up immediately excited to hear his plans.

"Thrilled." He replied confused, excitement was not the response he had expected.
Was she not sad at all?
"I'm going to be gone for months." He was doing his best to emphasize the fact that he was leaving for a long time.

"Aw that must be really hard being away from your family for so long." She frowned trying to sympathize.

"And friends." Patrick threw in.
Why wasn't she upset and why did he care that she wasn't upset?

"At least you're getting paid to do something you love. It kind of makes it all worth it in the end." Samantha replied before taking another bite of her apple keeping her eyes focused on the fruit as she did so. She was doing her best not to show him the fact that she was devastated. They had grown relatively close in the short time they had known each other and she was getting used to him always being around, which he was most of the time. Unfortunately for her she had already forced herself to be naive about this aspect of his work - he was leaving and the only thing she would allow him to see was her happiness, he was doing something great with his life and it was no occasion to cry - or so she kept repeating to herself.

"Yes." He responded as he studied his shoes.

"When do you leave?" She questioned while wiping off the counter just to keep herself busy and fixated on something else besides him.

"Uhm," Patrick stopped to think. He left on Friday but since she didn't care so much he could leave tomorrow and apparently it wouldn't make a difference.
"Tomorrow."

"What? You're such a butthead why didn't you tell me sooner?" Samantha teased with her back facing him. She was crying, this was ridiculous - she shouldn't be crying.

"It kind of just crept up on me. I can't believe you just called me a butthead." Patrick had to laugh at her attempt to insult him.

"Shut up." She laughed through her tears but still didn't turn to face him.

"Wait a minute." He paused when he heard her sniffle. "Are you crying?"

She jumped when his voice came from right behind her instead of from across the room.
"No, that's ridiculous." Samantha replied with a huff while walking away from him and opening the refrigerator in attempt to hide her face.

"Don't lie. I can see you ya' know." Patrick walked over to her once more, "Aw, you are sad that I'm leaving." He smiled, she was upset, she would miss him.

"No, I'm excited for you, I just have something in my eye is all."

"You're sad, you're going to miss me." He teased while pulling her into a bear hug, "That's ok, cause I'm going to miss you too." Patrick's honesty scared him and he tried frantically to think of anything else to add that would mask his sudden vulnerability. "I've gotten attached to you. I mean, who else is going to serenade me by singing Prince so horribly off key that it makes my ears bleed?"

Samantha shoved him but because of the embrace they were still in he didn't go anywhere.
"You're such an asshole." She laughed and he shrugged.

"If it makes you feel better we're playing three shows in Chicago in early June."

"I don't give a damn." She replied honestly, not really sure what he was getting at.

"You should go." Patrick nodded as he pulled away from her to look at her face.

"Why?" Samantha gave him a confused look and he rolled his eyes.

"Because I asked you too." He smiled while playfully poking her stomach.

"But that's silly I don't even know any of your songs."

...

"I felt retarded I didn't even know any of the songs!" Samantha looked nervously up at Zac who was about ready to throw a fit. He promptly ignored her while he checked his reflection in a compact mirror, kissing and winking at himself before putting it away.

"Sweetie the concert is almost over, except for you know, the fucking encore which we're leaving during." Zac spat angrily at her as she drug him through the Charter One Pavilion.
"Thank you Sammy for getting me Honda Civic Tour tickets, but no thank you for making me leave now. I mean, what if they do something sexy and I'm not there to see it?" He whined childishly down at her while wrapping an arm around her shoulder,
"Did I tell you about that weird dream I had where Patrick Stump was in your apartment?"

Ignoring him she patted her pockets,
"Oh Zac, I have these, but I don't know really know what they do." Samantha pulled from her back pocket two all access passes and looked at them curiously while twiddling them between her fingers. Zac screeched before snatching the passes from her.
"I keep telling you that it wasn't a dream. Do you believe me now?" She smiled and Zac stared wide-eyed at her.

"Not a dream?"

"No, but you really can't molest anyone this time Zac. Promise?" Samantha replied while grabbing his bicep forcefully.

"Oh my God I totally and completely promise!" Zac screamed while waving the passes in the air excitedly and jumping up and down. "Look at me bitches," He started while pointing the passes at the people littered around the stadium, "I get to meet Pete Wentz!"

"Zackary that's enough." Samantha scolded.

"And Gabe Saporta, and William Beckett, AND Mark Hoppus." He continued ignoring the fact that Samantha was dragging him forcefully along to the door she figured was the backstage entrance. "And Joe Trohman, Travis Barker and Vicky T that cute little cobra bombshell. Oh my God I have the best friend ever!" Was the final thing Zac screamed before a look from the security guard shut him up.

"Hi, I don't really know how to do this." Samantha smiled shyly at the buff man while handing him the passes. The security guard studied the passes and then studied her intently before giving Zac a once over. He held up a finger signaling them to wait as he handed Samantha back the passes.

"Yeah, I've got a visual on the tiny red head and the big gay man." He responded into a walkie-talkie. Almost as soon as the message was relayed behind the guard appeared a short stout greasy man. The security guard and the greasy man exchanged formalities that consisted of: 'you taking?' - 'yup.' - 'you know where?'- 'yup.' - 'sweet.' - 'dude, totally.'

Samantha looked horrified at Zac who gestured to the man's shirt that read 'Dirty Saves.' Once again Samantha gave him a confused look, Zac opened his mouth to respond but before he could the greasy man spoke.
"I'm Dirty." He replied while motioning with his head inside the gate.

"You should probably shower then." Samantha responded while walking past the snickering guard, Zac gasped in response, already embarrassed with Samantha's lack of Fall Out Boy roadie knowledge.

Dirty also laughed,
"You're cute, he didn't say you were cute."

"I'm Samantha." She decided that introducing herself was what one usually does in these types of situations, though she didn't really want to shake this man's hand.

"Oh, I know." He smiled over his shoulder before stopping abruptly and turning around, sticking out his hand in gesture. She stared at it apprehensively before accepting it. Almost immediately after the shake she was bombarded by a man squirting Purell into her hand.

"You don't touch him without sanitizing afterwards, this man ate my toenails for free." He responded with a shake of his head as he pointed in Dirty's direction.

"Hey!" Samantha grew excited, FINALLY she recognized a famous musician. Thoroughly proud of herself she went to continue with the cliché 'don't you know who you are?' scenario but was cut off before she got the chance.

"Mark Hoppus!" Zac squeaked from behind her before looking at the sky and biting down on his lips as he did so in order to prevent himself from screaming in excitement and embarrassing Sam.

"Mark." He smiled and extended his hand first to Zac, and then to her.

The gay man only managed a squeak which would have to serve as a sufficient form of identification because there was no way that anything else besides a shrill scream was going to come out of Zac's mouth.

"Samantha." She smiled as she returned the handshake.

"Ooh. Ooh Samantha." He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced at Dirty who nodded.

"Dude, I know." The curly haired man replied with a nod and a brow raise of his own.

"Well it was very nice meeting you. Remember don't touch him, and my God don't let him touch you." Mark warned before walking onto his bus.

Samantha nodded in understanding while grabbing a hold of Zac who was mouthing 'I Love You' and reaching in the direction of +44's bus.

"Did you really eat his toenail-" She started to question but was cut off.

"Not Kelly!" Gabe yelled from across the parking lot with his arms raised above his head.

"Hey Gabe." She responded with a wave, ignoring the death glares coming from Zac's direction. Gabe waved and pointed in her direction explaining to the people around him who she was before walking onto a bus.

"You dirty whore!" Zac gasped while continuing to follow the two people in front of him.
Samantha ignored him.

"Where are we going?" She questioned while glancing around the lot.

"Here." Dirty replied with a smirk while pointing to the bus in front of them, "And yes, I really did eat his toenails." He laughed before walking onto the bus.
"Redhead signed, sealed and delivered bitches." Dirty yelled while walking onto the bus ahead of them and sighing when he found it empty.
"Bring her here they say, of course it's fucking empty." He mumbled to himself before ushering Samantha and Zac onto the bus.

"Oh wow this is a real tour bus." Zac exclaimed wide-eyed as he picked up a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, "This is Fall Out cereal, and this is a Fall Out spoon." He replied while picking up a spoon and clutching it to his chest.

"Right." Dirty replied while taking a deep breath and pushing his lips together. "So, yeah I guess you just wait here cause I know that he's going to be coming on the bus in a second - or like now." He quickly corrected himself once he noticed Patrick jogging to the bus.

Patrick clamored up the bus steps quickly, he was breathing heavily and pulling at the inner ear wires at the base of his neck.

"Your hair has gotten so long -" Samantha started but was cut off when Patrick unexpectedly pulled her towards him and pressed his lips to hers.

As if coming to a quick and sudden realization he immediately let her go as he began to stammer.
"Yeah, you know I'm just going to leave it until it annoys me enough to cut it off again." As if they had never kissed he picked up where she had left off while valiantly ignoring Zac's whimpers of shock and Dirty's snickering.

Samantha didn't say anything; she was frozen with her fingertips lightly touching her lips and wide blue eyes staring right through him.

"Great show tonight huh?" Patrick laughed nervously while clapping his hands together awkwardly. "Yeah." He answered his own question while letting his gaze fall to the floor.

There was silence for a few more seconds until Charlie's voice called out for Patrick to hurry up. Without another word Patrick turned and left the bus. Maybe if he pretended that he didn't just kiss her that it would erase itself, and he wouldn't remember how soft her lips were or how right it felt to hold her so close, because oh no, he didn't just kiss Samantha.

As soon as he thought Patrick was out of ear shot Dirty finally decided to speak.
"I totally don't think that was supposed to happen, and if it was . . . I totally don't think I was supposed to witness it."

Zac opened and shut his mouth a few times as he stared at a petrified Samantha, he was completely at a loss for words and he subconsciously hugged the cereal box closer to his chest.
"I wonder what Jesse is going to say about that?" Finally escaped his lips as he continued to stare at Sam.

She immediately covered her mouth with her hand as she closed her eyes and groaned something that was most closely related to 'Oh my God.'

"Yeah, you're right." Zac nodded while finally shifting his gaze to look at Dirty who was clearly uncomfortable. "We just won't tell him."

"I am way to sober for this shit." Was the last thing said before Dirty walked off of the bus and unknowingly past Patrick who was standing nearby trying to get past the only question that was running through his mind - who the hell was Jesse?