Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My life without you in it, Is a life not worth living.
You Have No Idea How Hard It Is!
4 reviewsGerard has been in love with frank since high school but when he gets the guts to do something about it he screws it up. when frank doesn't want anything to do with it. it causes an old habit of Ge...
1Original
"Why did you do that?"
"I'm sorry"
"No, why did you kiss me?"
"Because. . . . . Because you're beautiful and I love you"
"Just get out of here; I'll see you tomorrow at practice"
I got up off the floor and walked home. Why was he so beautiful to me? Why am I in love with him? He my best friend and my band mate. Why did I kiss him? Why am I screwing everything up? I need a drink.
I finally reached my front door I unlocked it and walked in. I found Mikey sitting on the couch watching something on TV.
"Hey where were you?" he asked turning some to look at me.
"At Franks" I replied.
"You ok you look kind of upset?" he asked with a worried tone.
"Yeah I'm fine" I told him so he won't worry.
I walked in to the kitchen and walked over to the liquor cabinet opened it up and sighed. 'Do I really want to do this? Oh well I grab on just in case.' I though. I grabbed a bottle of vodka why we still have alcohol in the house I'm not sure. I walked back out of the kitchen hiding the bottle from Mikey he would kill he if he knew I was about to get drunk. I attempted to go upstairs when Mikey spoke I stopped.
"What you doing?" he asked
"Going to bed" I said.
"Ok, good night" he said I sighed in relief he did see the bottle.
I walked up stairs and into my room and sat on the bed. I took my shirt off I was hot. I opened the bottle and sighed. I put the bottle to me lips and drank I chugged like half of it before stopping. I put my head in my hand and started to cry. I chugged the rest of the bottle and laid down I felt dizzy I fell asleep wasted and crying.
---------------------The Next Morning------------------------
"Gee come on wake up" I hear Mikey saying shaking me. I laid the cover over the empty bottle hoping he didn't see it. He stood there for a minute looking at the cover and looking at me.
"We have practice in an hour the guys will be here soon" he said leaving the room.
"Shit." I said quietly my head hurt. I sat in be for like 20 minutes before getting up and walking downstairs in my tight black jeans I fell asleep in and nothing else. I hear Mikey talking to the guys when I reached the top of the steps so I stopped to listen.
"Guys I think Gerard might be drinking again. He came home last night upset even though he didn't tell me I could tell he was upset. And when I went to wake him up this morning and I found an empty vodka bottle next to him. I'm really worried" Mikey said to the guys.
"Well one of us will just have to talk to him I guess" Ray said.
"I guess I will" I hear frank say.
I continued to walk down the stairs.
"Hey guys. What's up?" I said acting like I didn't hear anything.
"Nothing" they all said at once.
"Gerard can I talk to you alone" Frank said.
"Um yeah sure." I said as he got up and walked past me and walked up the stairs. I fallowed. 'His ass looks so nice' I though as I started at it going up the stairs. He walked in my room I fallowed when I was in he closed the door. God I wanted to attack him with my mouth. He started to move my covers around.
"Frank stop!" I yelled at him but it was to late he found it.
"So it's true you are drinking again" he said turning around with the bottle in his hand. I just looked at the floor as tears swelled up in my eyes.
"You know you almost died from drinking not ever 2 years ago" he said sitting on the bed I continued to look anywhere but at Frank.
"I know" I said sadly.
"Why are you drinking again" he asked.
"I was upset and I needed an escape" I simply said. I had no other choice but to look into his beautiful eyes.
"What happened to drawing or writing song?" he asked
"I never really worked for me" I said.
"Why are you crying?" he asked putting the bottle on the bed and standing up.
"Because you have no idea how hard it is" I simply said he was walking a bit closer to me.
"How hard what is?" he asked.
"How hard it is to be in love with your best friend since 10th grade and finally get the guts to do something about only to be rejected by him and have your heart crush" I said looking at him.
"Gerard I'm not gay" was all he said.
"I know" I said looking at the floor.
"Gerard. . . "He said and trailed off.
"Huh?" I said.
"Never mind" he said walking passed me and back down stairs closing the door behind him I fell to the floor crying.
"What . . . is . . . is wrong with me?" I asked my self through sobs.
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"I'm sorry"
"No, why did you kiss me?"
"Because. . . . . Because you're beautiful and I love you"
"Just get out of here; I'll see you tomorrow at practice"
I got up off the floor and walked home. Why was he so beautiful to me? Why am I in love with him? He my best friend and my band mate. Why did I kiss him? Why am I screwing everything up? I need a drink.
I finally reached my front door I unlocked it and walked in. I found Mikey sitting on the couch watching something on TV.
"Hey where were you?" he asked turning some to look at me.
"At Franks" I replied.
"You ok you look kind of upset?" he asked with a worried tone.
"Yeah I'm fine" I told him so he won't worry.
I walked in to the kitchen and walked over to the liquor cabinet opened it up and sighed. 'Do I really want to do this? Oh well I grab on just in case.' I though. I grabbed a bottle of vodka why we still have alcohol in the house I'm not sure. I walked back out of the kitchen hiding the bottle from Mikey he would kill he if he knew I was about to get drunk. I attempted to go upstairs when Mikey spoke I stopped.
"What you doing?" he asked
"Going to bed" I said.
"Ok, good night" he said I sighed in relief he did see the bottle.
I walked up stairs and into my room and sat on the bed. I took my shirt off I was hot. I opened the bottle and sighed. I put the bottle to me lips and drank I chugged like half of it before stopping. I put my head in my hand and started to cry. I chugged the rest of the bottle and laid down I felt dizzy I fell asleep wasted and crying.
---------------------The Next Morning------------------------
"Gee come on wake up" I hear Mikey saying shaking me. I laid the cover over the empty bottle hoping he didn't see it. He stood there for a minute looking at the cover and looking at me.
"We have practice in an hour the guys will be here soon" he said leaving the room.
"Shit." I said quietly my head hurt. I sat in be for like 20 minutes before getting up and walking downstairs in my tight black jeans I fell asleep in and nothing else. I hear Mikey talking to the guys when I reached the top of the steps so I stopped to listen.
"Guys I think Gerard might be drinking again. He came home last night upset even though he didn't tell me I could tell he was upset. And when I went to wake him up this morning and I found an empty vodka bottle next to him. I'm really worried" Mikey said to the guys.
"Well one of us will just have to talk to him I guess" Ray said.
"I guess I will" I hear frank say.
I continued to walk down the stairs.
"Hey guys. What's up?" I said acting like I didn't hear anything.
"Nothing" they all said at once.
"Gerard can I talk to you alone" Frank said.
"Um yeah sure." I said as he got up and walked past me and walked up the stairs. I fallowed. 'His ass looks so nice' I though as I started at it going up the stairs. He walked in my room I fallowed when I was in he closed the door. God I wanted to attack him with my mouth. He started to move my covers around.
"Frank stop!" I yelled at him but it was to late he found it.
"So it's true you are drinking again" he said turning around with the bottle in his hand. I just looked at the floor as tears swelled up in my eyes.
"You know you almost died from drinking not ever 2 years ago" he said sitting on the bed I continued to look anywhere but at Frank.
"I know" I said sadly.
"Why are you drinking again" he asked.
"I was upset and I needed an escape" I simply said. I had no other choice but to look into his beautiful eyes.
"What happened to drawing or writing song?" he asked
"I never really worked for me" I said.
"Why are you crying?" he asked putting the bottle on the bed and standing up.
"Because you have no idea how hard it is" I simply said he was walking a bit closer to me.
"How hard what is?" he asked.
"How hard it is to be in love with your best friend since 10th grade and finally get the guts to do something about only to be rejected by him and have your heart crush" I said looking at him.
"Gerard I'm not gay" was all he said.
"I know" I said looking at the floor.
"Gerard. . . "He said and trailed off.
"Huh?" I said.
"Never mind" he said walking passed me and back down stairs closing the door behind him I fell to the floor crying.
"What . . . is . . . is wrong with me?" I asked my self through sobs.
---------------------------------------
Tee hee
hope u liked it
Poor gee:[
Review && Rate please
Reviews = More chapters
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