Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > These Are The Seeds We Sew
CHAPTER NINE2 reviews
Patrick meets Grace Redwood
I handed the cell to the officer, my fingers shook as I did, the incrimination within the device was so huge. I was sentencing her father. Even if he had confessed, this just ensured the accuracy of it all. It was immense. I was detached from it all. I walked away from the desk like a wounded animal, licking the wounds of an attack that so easily nearly took my life.
"You must be Patrick!" the soft gentle womanly voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned and gave the woman a once over.
A once over was all I needed because I immediately beheld my deceased girlfriend. Except it wasn't her at all.
"Grace Redwood, Charlotte's Mom."
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything, my lips opened involuntarily as they attempted to gutter out some sort of verbal recognition.
She studied me carefully, reminding me of exactly who Charlie may have been if we had settled down together and aged for 20-30 years. She was beautiful.
"She spoke so very fondly of you!" she whispered with a smile and teary eyes.
I put a hand over my mouth and wiped it firmly.
"We should talk!" she added, just as restrained. I could only nod, she put a soft hand on my back and guided me to sit down with her in the seating area.
There was a long awaited silence between us, only the sound of telephones ringing and doors slamming, keys jangling, radio's buzzing and voices lying , could be heard.
"I'm so sorry they interrogated you all those days!" she said, she took my forearm in her grip.
"They had no choice, I was their only suspect." I explained to her calmly.
"It must have been awful for you, it's been so devastating dealing with her loss." She said, her kind eyes looked into mine and I allowed myself to look back at her.
"The worst time of my life!" I said weakly.
"I'm so sorry!" she said. I shook my head, I should be the one consoling her and the loss of her daughter but her small arms wrapped around me and held me tightly.
"I know she loved you! I know what she did for you!" she said, I pulled back slightly and she wiped my tears away firmly with her thumbs.
"It still doesn't feel like she's gone." I said stronger than I'd expected to sound.
"I know. Everything is still so raw."
"Why did he killer her??" I asked her urgently, unable to bear the burning sensation his motive was causing to my thoughts.
"I don't know!" she whispered weakly, frustrated, exhausted.
"He said he didn't mean to, it was an accident...." She said looking down.
"An accident?? His daughter his dead!" I frowned at her.
"Don't tell me what I already know!" she snapped angrily, now her eyes burned just like Charlie's would when I pushed her, when I provoked her conscience.
"I need answers."
"You might not get answers Patrick."
"She deserves answers! She's dead!!" I stood up as I shouted angrily.
"I know she's dead! No-one knows that more than me! My beautiful daughter .....who was supposed live years longer than me, to have my grandchildren, to get married and find the happiness she truly deserved has been stolen from me-"
"-Then get the answers." He pleaded with her.
She stared at me now, I'd won her determination over, I could see she wanted it. I could see she hadn't got it yet. She hadn't been given enough reasons from her husband as to why he'd snubbed out their daughter's life.
"I need to go." I said as gently as I could, given that I'd been pretty awful to her.
"OK, yes..." she said, sniffing quickly to clear her nose. She pulled out a card.
"Look, here's my contact details, I'll be arranging the funeral when they're finished with..." she stopped.
"Her body - I know." I said, taking her card.
"I'm so sorry we had to meet like this!" she said desperately.
"Take care." I said softly, squeezing her hand gently.
She slipped in, stealth like and I closed the door to my apartment. Her body language was screaming a problem at me, but I was new to the dynamics of our relationship still and knew I was likely over analyzing.
My bare feet padded along the carpet as I moved to the kitchen and poured her some wine, not knowing quite what kind of day she'd had. I glanced at her, she was roping her neck firmly with her hand and her eyes seemed unsettled.
"Don't I get a kiss or..." I stopped and looked at her , finishing topping my glass up.
"Sure!" she said, floating over to me and pecking my lips firmly. I frowned as she pulled away quickly and peeled off her jacket.
I took her hand and pulled her back towards me and her eyes kept away from me as I brought her towards me.
"Charlie." I said firmly.
"Uh huh?" she asked nonchalantly.
I lowered my head and tried to look under her fringe so I could assess those window like eyes.
"What's going on - where have you been - has something happened?" I bombarded her.
"No, nothing I was ."
"What? You were what?"
"Charlie?! What the hell's going on-"
"-I was with a client." She said flatly, her head looking down, eyes occupying the floor. I stepped back slightly.
"He begged me - said he wasn't coping without seeing me and I felt this stupid sense of duty or whatever, I don't even know - all I know is that I feel I've been unfaithful to you and I don't even love you!"
I swallowed quickly. She didn't love me.
"You don't love me?" I asked her uncertainly.
"No! I mean - I don't know! Maybe!" she blurted out uneasily.
"If I slept with someone now - how would you feel?" I asked her honestly.
"I don't know, I haven't thought about it."
"Well think about it now, I come home after not seeing you for days and I tell you I've slept with someone - how would it make you feel?"
She paused. Dwelling on it.
"I'd be relieved." She said.
I shook my head slightly and closed my eyes.
"Because you'd be released from being involved with someone like me Patrick - I keep telling you I'm not the kind of girl that someone as decent as you ends up with - I can't change who I am!"
"You're Charlie, you're the redhead who brightens up my day just talking to, you're funny, intelligent....you're affectionate...humble."
"I'm a whore."
"I don't care Charlie....I just want you to be mine."
"I don't know if I can do that Patrick." She said suddenly.
"Then what am I to you - still just another client?" I frowned.
"No." she said softly.
"You're Patrick." She replied.
"I love you Charlie - and I will keep on loving you through all your imperfections, through every set back because that's what love does, it covers over."
"Why??" She cried, was she angry at me?
I wasn't sure if I had the words to go through it again. I pulled her close and kissed her softly.
"You said no man had ever touched you like I did." I whispered in her ear, reminding her of her own words to me. I could feel her shuddering in between my hands.
"It's not all me Charlie.....it's because you love me too.....and when two people love each other, their connection is so powerful...." I explained, hiding the hurt that I felt just knowing that another man had had his hands on her.
I took her hand in silence and pulled her to my bedroom where I had to reaffirm what I'd explained to her.
She repeatedly kissed my lips gently as she undid all my clothing before pushing me back on to the bed and undressing before me. The soft curves and lines of her god given femininity were gorgeous and she gingerly knelt on to the bed and crawled over to me, the most adorable curl to her lips as she did.
I held in my quivering breath as I watched her kiss her way down my body and just as I sucked in a last breath of self control, my cell began ringing and her whipped up.
"Answer it!" she whispered, I didn't object, it was how it had to be when she was around. I walked as comfortably as I could out to the kitchen and swiped it up.
"Hello?!" I asked, more pissed off than I'd wanted to, in all fairness, I was about to given great sex so I was pissed.
"What do you mean it's not working , did you try rebooting it?" I asked Joe, referring to his home studio equipment.
"Man, I can't right now, I'm busy!"
I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the bed. Charlie pushed me back down and readdressed what she was doing before.
"Joe, I don't KNOW!" I yelled the last word and clenched my fist hard as I felt her soft warm lips on me.
"I gotta go - seriously, bring it with you tomoRROW!" I said uncontrollably again. Charlie 's eyes looked up at me and smiled seductively.
"Bye." I blurted into the phone and slammed it on the dresser, clutching her hair tightly in my fingers.
"Shit!!!" I gasped out, Charlie laughed gently and continued.
I had never felt it like this before in my life, I was embarrassed of my species as I endured the unbearable pleasure of her mouth on me.
Her silky smooth body slipped up and over mine after she'd finished, I was in such a sedated state, I could hardly speak. I heard her laugh gently in my ear and she bit firmly on my ear.
"Am I dead?" I asked her, she giggled adorably.
"That good huh?"
I just shook my head, there were no words.
"You say you love me Patrick?" she said sweetly near my lips, they pressed against mine.
"Show me...." She said, rolling on to her back.
My lips were so hot and so numb from where I'd kissed her for so long, ensuring not a spot of skin was left uncovered. I clumsily rummaged in my drawer for protection and she gently pushed it out of my hand.
"It's only you now Patrick - I promise!" she whispered.
"You promise?" I whispered back.
"I do - I love you, I know it's real, I love you!" she said back to me.
She was finally mine.
To make love to her with that in mind was unbelievable.
As unbelievable as it all ended.
That night I slept all the way through for the first time since her death. I felt as though I'd cheated her, by that fact that my active memories of her had not awaken me once. I was so exhausted, my body demanded it take back sleep in order to repair itself. As I rolled over onto the other side of the bed I crumbled slowly as the scent of her drifted up to my nose form the pillow.
I held the pillow tight and clutched it close to me as I would her.
"I need you here so badly!"
I was crying again, it drained me every time I did.
"I miss you." I sobbed quietly.
The silence in return just made it further evident that she wasn't coming back.
Sorry for any typo's.
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