FicWad

It was close to the Christmas holidays, so I was getting my stuff ready for the trip to Wilmette when Pete called me, slurring his words saying he had just passed an opportunity to fuck some big time starlet because he had feelings for me, and that the only thing he feared was that Trevor would mistake him as his father and then started telling me that he was not ready to be a father, even tho Trevor was a cool kid, he said as I recall
"Peter Wentz’s got no business raising a kid."


Yes, what would you do in my place? After everything I went through, to hear that kind of stuff was just a huge slap on the face, I lost my cool the, I just yelled at him, told him what an asshole he was and that I had no fucking business dating one.

Then out of rage I told him that he was already a father but that he didn’t have to worry since I had raised the kid by myself knowing he would never be capable to do such thing and then hung up.

I had laid down in my bed crying, when I heard little footsteps coming to the room. SHIT.

"Mom..." his voice was tentative like he was afraid.

"Yes, Trevor." I sat up and told him to come and sit on my lap.

"Who was it on the phone." I knew that by answering to one question I was actually answering two.

"It was Pete, baby." His eyes grew large as he made the connection.

"Yes, baby, I’m sorry your mom is such a coward and never told you this… he is your father… but he doesn’t know." I cried more, as Trevor’s eyes got teary.

"Mom, but you just told him…" he said a glint of hope in his eyes.

"He was drunk Trevor, was saying stupid stuff and I had to make him stop, he probably won’t even remember this and we can go on." I said wiping away a single tear that fell from his eye.

"He doesn’t want to be my dad, right? But he always bring me toys and tour shirts and I think we have a good time together when he is here mom." another tear falling and another piece of my heart being ripped out.

"If he thinks he is not good enough to be your father, then I don’t know baby… I really don’t know what goes through his head; my relationship with him was always of ups and downs and downs again. You can never know what he is thinking. But we have each other and I hope we can still count on the love we share, okay… because mom will always be here for you, even when I mess up. But I apologize for not telling you sooner, I just thought it’d take away the memories you have of Christopher…" I cried even harder as he hugged me, crying along with me.

"I always knew Chris wasn’t my real father mom, I loved him for everything he meant to me." My son is just so smart and caring, I couldn’t ask for a better kid.

That night after everything we finished packing and then I had helped him picking what toys he’d bring along then we ordered take out and had a good time playing cards.


The day after we landed in Wilmette for the holidays after our quick flight since I hated to drive on snow after what happened with Christopher.

My mom was already home for sometime, I really was not sure what kind of relationship they were having at the time, but anyways...they had picked us up in the airport and Trevor had told them the news while we headed home.

"I know who my father is." He said simply as I nodded at him feeling my conscious much lighter.

"Really? And who would that be?" said my mom in a surprised tone.

"It’s Mrs. Peter!" he said insisting with the ‘Mrs. Peter’ name.

My dad looked at me through the review mirror and I pretended I didn’t notice him.

"And does he know about that, Trevor?" asked my father.

"Yeah, I think he does now." He answered and the conversation was dropped once we arrived home.


Trevor went to play with the dogs and I went to get my stuff in place, I was not really surprised when my dad approached me, we had a pretty good conversation, he said he had feared that I had been raped by him, but I told him that it had been in my part, out of love, then he smiled and nodded saying that the best thing I could have done was to keep him from Pete for as long as I could, my dad still didn’t like him as you may notice. Then he asked me about his reaction on the paternity of Trevor and I had been truthful with him, even if it was awful to say it out loud, Peter didn’t want or need a kid under his responsibility.


When my dad left, I looked out the window to see what Trevor was doing and I was surprised to see Mrs. Wentz talking to him, by the way she just stared at him, I was sure she knew the truth. I dreaded the moment
she’d get me alone for a talk.

I went downstairs and told my mom about it, she wanted to go talk to Lola first but it was my responsibility after all.

As I approached them she was telling him about me as a kid, and how she saw me as a daughter and stuff, as I walked closer there was tears in her eyes, maybe it’d harder than I had thought.

"Pete told me, yesterday that you’d be coming Katie." She said before I could say anything. So I just nodded.

"Yeah, he called me too, but let’s not talk about it…" I said shrugging.

"So I guess he called you first, then." She said leaving it at that.

"Mom, Lola was telling me that she knew you as I kid…and that she saw me a year ago when we came here. How come I never saw her?" Trevor asked.

"You were asleep baby, we were coming home from the field." I answered and he nodded.

"Go play with the dogs while we talk baby…we have a lot to talk…" I said kissing him, to my surprise he hugged Mrs. Wentz that instantly started crying when he left.

"I’m sorry Lola, I never meant to hurt anyone, I just couldn’t ruin Pete’s life like that…" I said before she could even say anything.

"I suspected he was the father from the beginning but I just didn’t know how to ask that, I guess I was afraid to be disappointed with the answer and maybe ruin his life, since he was just in college and everything, but he dropped everything…I feel responsible for not asking you, and I guess that means I can’t blame you from hiding, since you were just making things easier for my family and for Pete. I’m so sorry, Katie." She hugged me as we both cried.

"Pete called me last night completely wasted, he said he was a father and that you had ruined his night…then he hung up and called about 20 minutes later saying he was coming home, he’d get the first flight out of London to be here, he said that he has a lot to talk to you, by then he was sobbing on the phone, sounding a little more sober." She said that meant that he didn’t forget after all.

"It’s okay…I can handle him, Lola. And Trevor knows, so I’m not really scared of any stunt he might pull." I said as her eyes widen.

"Does he know I’m Pete’s mom?" she asked.

"I don’t think so…I’ll introduce you as a grandma if you want." I said hopeful.

"Omg! Yes. I want it." She hugged me again.

"Trevor, come here." I shouted, he raised his head and made hi way towards us.

"Yes, mom!"

"I forgot…this is grandma Wentz, baby." His face was surprised as he looked at her and she looked at him, she was the first to give in and bends to hug him, which he returned.

"Can I ask you something?" he said unsure.

"Yes, anything." she answered.

"Will you help me to make my dad like me?" the look in his eyes tore my heart apart and Mrs. Wentz hugged him, nodding, not saying a word.

I couldn’t wait until Pete’s arrival, just couldn’t wait.



It was around two in the morning when I heard a noise coming from my window, just like years ago, I suspected who was doing it, quietly leaving the bed, making sure Trevor was well covered I went towards the window, adjusting my robe around my body.

There he was trying to climb the higher part of the house to get to my window, last time I had seen him doing it, he had been faster than that. Must be an aging problem or maybe, he was just jet leg but it was amusing all the same.

I opened it feeling a cold wind coming in, freezing me.

"What are you doing here Pete?" I asked after he climbed the window, not saying a word.

Before answering he looked towards the bed, seeing that I wasn’t alone in the room as he expected.
"He is sleeping?" he asked.

"What do you think? It’s past his bedtime and actually mine too, it’s almost 3 in the morning Pete…" I said forgetting that it was nothing for rock stars.

"Don’t start with me, Katie. I’m the one coming here for answers so you just shut up and talk when on cue." He said pointing his finger at me.

"Well, if it’s going to be like this you can just get out of here, cause you won’t talk to me like this in my house neither will point your skinny finger at me, you hear me?" I said trying to calm my nerves.

"Shit…I’m sorry…you see what this is doing to me? I’ve been a jerk to everyone all day…to my friends to the taxi driver, my luggage is in the garage now, because I forgot to bring in the keys…" he said sitting at the edge of the bed, making sure to not wake up Trevor.

" It’s okay just don’t point your finger at me again…" I said pulling his arm so we could go downstairs, so I could prepare something for us to drink.

Once downstairs we went to the kitchen.

"Want to eat anything?" I asked, trying to find chocolate in the cupboards.

"Actually I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday…" he said looking down at his hands.

"Okay, I’ll heat something up for you…" I said pulling out of the fridge some stuff from dinner. Putting everything in a plate and heating in the microwave.

"You know, Katie…I was really drunk last night, I don’t mean everything I said you know…" he started.

"After you are done eating we talk about it." I said using my stern teacher voice.

He ate quietly, it was like he was starving and I just watched trying to think of the right words to use in my defense.

When he was finished I put the mugs I had left pre-made in the counter and heated it up so we could sip it while talking.

"So…who wants to start?" he said smirking.

"I can go first, actually I want to go first." I said looking at him, he just nodded.

"Well, where to begin? To say I was in love with you seems to be stupid now, but makes sense to me to add this… when I found out I was pregnant, your mom was with me and her face showed how disappointed on me, I knew who was the father and I didn’t want her to be disappointed in you too…actually I couldn’t blame you for my condition, we had condoms with us there, but we didn’t use it Pete, your mom told my mom when I asked her too, because I couldn’t do it, she convinced my mom that it wasn’t right to make me abort the kid so mom told me to go to Lafayette and live with my aunt Suzette, at first it was just supposed to be a short stay, but my life was much better in there, by that time my mom already knew it was yours and she told me she wouldn’t tell anyone…" I felt a tear fall down my face slowly, I was just looking at my mug now, but I could feel Pete’s stare in my direction.

"So…why you never told me?" he asked.

"Because I was scared, I mean I was so young…you were in College, you were popular you had a girlfriend, I didn’t want you to hate me for keeping the baby and then making you lose everything you had." I said now looking at him, timidly.

"You make it sound like you were only thinking of me, but I bet you had your own reasons." He sipped on his chocolate.

"I just said my reasons Pete; I didn’t want you to blame me for ‘ruining’ your life. I didn’t want you to hate me and Trevor. Besides when I came back you were in a band and I bet you’d love if I showed up with a kid under my arms and said it was yours." I said wiping my face.

"hell no…I’d really hate you…" he chuckled, but I failed to find humor in that.

"Anyways…I understand what your reasons were, but why in the hell would you come out and just say it now." Pete could be so dense when he wanted.

"You know, you called me saying that wanted to be with me but didn’t want Trevor thinking you were his father…I couldn’t hold it back anymore…you were insulting my son…our child, it w as like you were wishing he didn’t exist, but if you recall you and Trevor have had great moments hanging out and in this six months you are present in our life he looks up to you a lot…" I was
saying.

"That’s very sweet but I’ve told you, I don’t want kids…I never did… Trevor is a great kid, he is awesome, I’m proud to say he has my blood but I can’t be a father…you know better than anyone how fucked up I am, this is too much for me, Katie. I don’t want him to know that I’m his father." He said his eyes tearing up.

"It’s too late now, he knows... If you want me out of your life, fine…I’ve proved to you that I don’t need you, but Trevor will be broken hearted if you reject him Pete. All I ask if for you to accept him, you can come visit him when you have a little time off or when your life sucks so bad that you have no where else to go…I don’t know, the conditions are up to you… but please don’t reject him now that he knows." I cried, my words coming out slightly slurred by emotion, I looked up to him and he was also crying.

"Shit, by saying that you don’t need me was just like that day when you kicked my ass all those years ago. Katie I don’t want to reject him, I just don’t want to be a bad daddy to him…I mean I’ll be gone for months and I’m no role model. I’m scared of failure." He said his eyes red.

"Pete, can you imagine how scared I was, being a 17 year old mother? I had no job, no one to share the responsibility with, but here I am…I have this wonderful little boy, that plays football twice a week, gives me this amazing hug when he gets home, the little boy that arrives home with a candy for his mom on valentine’s day because she is that only special someone in his life…I’m a 25 years old woman, a widow, a school teacher and a single mom. I’ve been through a lot in my life, actually Christopher, is responsible for who I am today, I was still a little lost when I met him, I didn’t look at Trevor the way I do today Pete, four years ago he was a secret burden for me…I loved him, but deep inside he was still a terrible burden for me, today I see things differently, he is no longer a burden, today I can say that Trevor is everything I have."

"Can you teach me how to be a father then?" he asked, the look in his eyes was one of hope.

"I can’t teach you how to be a father; I can give you tips on how to be a parent. But you have to be sure you want to really be a part of his life because you can’t just give up on the role."

"I wanna try, Katie…but I need someone to help me…I want it to be you…" he said reaching for my hand on the table.

"I can help you Pete…we can work on this together…but I’d like if we kept this strictly about Trevor, I want you to know that you can go back on fucking your starlets…anyways…you can come sleep in my room, I can make a bed for you on the floor and well, you can sleep there until tomorrow." I said
squeezing his hand before getting up and collecting the mugs and placing them on the counter.

"Okay. But let me just say that I’m so sorry for what I said to you when I called…it wasn’t my intention to offend your or our…son." He gave a little shy smile as he tested how it sounded coming from his mouth.


I went back to bed, and we tried to move as silently as possible in the room so Trevor wouldn’t wake up, but he did, I was trying to get the bed ready as Pete was in the bathroom getting ready for bed when Trevor startled me.

"Mom? What are you doing?" he asked rubbing his eyes, before I could answer Pete exited the bathroom.

"Dad?" they looked at each other and it was like time stopped.

"hey Trev…how are you…why don’t you go back to sleep and we can talk tomorrow, okay?" Pete walked towards the bed, and tucked Trevor in once again, the little boy seemed content and requested.

"Mom…is he really here?" he asked, his eyes already dropping again.

"yes he is here, baby…" I whispered and kissed his forehead, I looked at Pete that was still looking at him.

"He looks so much like me, I don’t even know how I didn’t notice before…" he whispered.

"Come Pete, let’s get some rest, tomorrow you’ll feel better…"I said pulling at his hand.

"Can I give you a hug?" he said as I turned back to go back to bed.
I turned around and nodded, approaching him.

Anything could happen from now on and I didn't know how i felt about that.