Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Saint Lily
“So Lily..do you want to tell us what happened that day?”
Lily inhaled through her nose slowly, sunglasses hanging lazily from her fingertips.
No.
She stared at Will’s feet...watched them shift slightly as she opened her mouth to speak.
“We did our set...and then....” she paused, as if the words had been ripped out of her throat.
“I’ve never..uh..”she let out a small, nervous laugh,
“I’ve never talked about this in an interview before.” she said apologetically, staring at her clenched fists laying in her lap.
“Take your time.”
Lily glanced up at the cameras, no doubt zooming in on her every move.
She brushed the hair out of her face, feeling Will’s warm body pressing against her.
It was January.
A new year...all symbolic and shit, right?
2006....two thousand and fucking six.
Saint Lily was conducting their first interview since they had dropped out of the Warped Tour last summer.
It was overcast in New York that day.
Lily stepped out of the taxi-cab and onto the side-walk, her boots planting themselves firmly onto the slick pavement.
She pulled her black pea-coat tighter around herself, watching her breath rise up towards the sky scrapers before becoming one with the cold, biting city air.
Fuck, New York was always freezing....but today...
She tightened the red scarf around her neck, pressing her purse close to her side as she made a b-line for MTV’s studio, stepping gingerly over the sleet and random bits of garbage that lined the way.
Her thighs burned cold beneath her tight denim jeans, chocolate brown boots keeping her feet and calves at a tolerant temperature.
Her cheeks were bitten red from the winter air...her nose numb..
At least the taxi cab had some heat..but good lord...
Then..suddenly...a burst of warm.
Lily sighed in contentment as she stepped into the heated lobby, pulling at her scarf.
Her fingers were red, encouraging blood flow....heart pounding.
She walked up to the front desk, brushing her hair away from her face,
“Uh..Hi.” she said to the woman behind the counter, clutching her bag tightly,
“God, It’s cold out there.” she breathed with a nervous smile.
The woman agreed with a forced laugh.
Lily cleared her throat, “I’m uh...here for the interview with John Norris...I’m Lily McKay.”
The receptionist raised an eyebrow, staring at Lily very carefully with narrowed eyes.
She typed something into her computer before taking off her headset,
“What happened to your hair?” she asked quietly, a frown on her face.
“Oh..” Lily said with an embarrassed smile,
“I uh..I don’t know..I just wanted a change and..”
She brushed the warm, brown strands away from her face,
“I just wanted to feel different, you know? Because I feel different and-“
The woman pushed a button before gesturing to the elevator at the other end of the room,
“Fourth floor, Ms. Mckay. Your band is waiting.”
Lily sighed a thank you before going up to the fourth floor, where she saw her band sitting on plush couches, cardboard cups of coffee on the table before them.
They all looking slightly nervous...and slightly different.
Will’s hair was shorter.
It was still the same shade of shockingly light blond, but it didn’t fall dangerously close to his eyes anymore.
Instead, it was cut above his eyebrows with a razor edge, yet still sweeping across his forehead.
He looked older, and there was something much more mature in his jawline..in his deep brown eyes, as he chewed at his black lip ring absentmindedly.. focused on the empty cups of coffee and magazines on the sleek table before him.
Ryan had dyed his hair back to it’s natural dark brown, today looked like one of the few days he wasn’t clean shaven; a small shadow graced his usually smooth face.
Lily noticed he had taken out his eyebrow ring....his hair combed and parted.
Her heart seemed to twist as she thought of him in highschool...wearing Metallica t-shirts paired with a worn flannel jacket...faded ear-length turquoise hair... carelessly bleached and dyed in a bathroom sink ....a skateboard under his arm as he scuffled down the hallway...
And now here he was...in thick rimmed glasses and a tight white shirt, staring at his feet in MTV studios.
He had come a long way from holey band-tees and amateur dye jobs.
Adam’s hair had grown out slightly, but was still in a buzz cut.
He had ditched the boots for a pair of nondescript black vans, and was wearing a simple outfit of jeans and a jacket..a hoodie layered beneath to fight the New York chill.
His face looked softer....he looked calm..relaxed...Lily didn’t see the usual anger within him.
She had been standing there for a minute without recognition and decided to break the silence with a sigh.
“Hi guys.” she said with a smile, giving them a small wave as she clutched her purse closer to her body.
Will looked up from the cover of People magazine, fingers pressed against his lips absentmindedly.
“Oh SHIT.” he whispered, eyes widening as he focused on Lily.
Ryan and Adam turned their heads as Will stood up, amongst their gasps and laughs of disbelief.
Before Lily could get a word in, Will had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a rib- crunching hug, leaving her to take in shallow breaths..wide eyed from his sudden burst of affection.
Suddenly Lily was surrounded on all sides, crunched in the middle of a group hug.
The smell of aftershave filled her nostrils...
Her heart seeming to rip open slightly...
The wounds that had healed since last June had opened ever so slowly...
Old Spice.
She closed her eyes as she felt their chests rise and fall simultaneously around her....their presence a comfort.
She had spent almost half a year without them...confined to her house...wondering whether each creak on the hard wood floor was really HIM walking up the stairs.
And her mother kept on asking her where ‘that Robert ran off to’.
Billy wondered where he was so he could ‘woop his scrawny ass’...and Jack really wanted to know what had happened that day in June.
Apparently they had heard about Warped Tour.
But considering the publicity the situation had during the summer..it wasn’t entirely surprising.
Lily had come to accept that her family did NOT live in a bubble...and the home-made ‘Lily + Bert’ shirts circulating the scene didn’t help either.
She and her three brothers, Tom, Jack and Billy, moved back in after her father died.
They all decided, after the funeral was over, that maybe it’d be a good idea to stay a little bit longer...
A few days turned into weeks, weeks to months...family comfort proving more important than any sound check or venue.
And the McKay children gave the house life once more...perking up her mother with their bickering and squabbling...keeping her distracted with wrestling and dinner plans.
Old family photographs were dusted and propped up...the silk flowers on the dining room table replaced with real ones....her father’s senior portrait graced the mantle, a cross nailed above him on the wall.
Lily took one more breath and pulled away,
“I missed you guys.”
Her band stood before her, their familiar smiles a comfort.
“Well..” Ryan said with a sigh,
“We kind of missed you too.”
Lily laughed.
Their presence was almost soothing...they were her life...her comfort....the reminder that she could accomplish something....
“SO..your..hair..” Will began, gesturing to his own,
“Leaving me in the dust here or what?” he asked, referring to his pale blond strands.
Lily frowned, holding a piece of hair between her fingers,
“I don’t know..it just seemed like a good idea at the time. I can always bleach it..” she said with a shrug.
People’s reactions were starting to annoy her.
“Well, I like it.” Adam mumbled, scratching his jaw.
“Well THANK you, Adam.” Lily sighed with a grin.
“HEY,” Will interjected, “I NEVER said I didn’t LIKE it, I was just saying-“
He was cut off as John entered the room, leaving him to mumble about how he was ‘so misunderstood’....
Lily blinked, tearing her eyes off of the camera.
Her eyes adjusted to the soft lighting as she opened her mouth to speak,
“We went back to the tourbus..and my manager sat us down and told us..”
Lily swallowed, focusing on a spot on the floor...hands tucked between her knees,
“That my dad had died.”
She looked up at John, blinking determinedly.
Will instinctively laid his hand on her thigh.
“I’m so sorry to hear that...that’s always hard..dealing with the loss of a parent...”
John said softly as Lily chewed at her lower lip, staring at Will’s shoes as she nodded slowly.
“And uh..” Will spoke up, clearing his throat,
“It was hard for all of us because we all knew Mr. McKay..a great guy...” he explained, fingers wandering to his ear.
“Always had us over for dinner.” Adam interjected thoughtfully.
“Yeah,” Ryan said with a grin, “And he always ended up arguing with Will over something...didn’t he want you to join the union or something?” Ryan asked, peering over at Will with a laugh.
Will chuckled,
“Yeah, pretty much EVERY time I came over....”
Lily laughed softly, shaking her head.
John laughed and cleared his throat,
“So, Lily...being the song writer in the band...have any of these recent experiences...Warped Tour...your father...helped you write?” John asked, hand to chin.
A flurry of images passed through her mind....
A screaming crowd singing along to every word, Bert’s impish grin as he walked backwards, Gerard laughing...the casket being lowered down into the ground...her mother crying....
Lily nodded,
“Of...of course. I mean....”
She paused....
Her father’s face....
“It was kind of NECESSARY to write it all out..because otherwise...” she stared at her fingers..pressed tightly against her palm.
“I’d have a hell of a hard time even talking about it...you know?” she finished almost in a whisper, barely able to tear her eyes away from her hands.
“I understand...” John began softly, piercing the almost painful silence as Lily struggled to push away a flood of memories,
“You’re a very strong woman for even coming out here, and I thank you personally.”
Lily nodded slowly, mumbling a thank you.
“You know,” Will began,
“People don’t realize...that Lily’s been through a LOT of shit.” Will interjected almost passionately. His voice wavered slightly,
“I mean, she’s overcome SO fuckin’ much.”
Ryan and Adam gave grunts of agreement as Will continued,
“And all these people criticizing her...saying she doesn’t write her own songs...saying..uh..you know..”
Will gestured with his hands as he formed his thoughts into words,
“She was created in a studio, she lip syncs...can honestly go fuck themselves.”
Will finished, brow furrowed in frustration,
“Because I’ve known Lily for like..7 years. I’ve lived in hotel rooms with her...in vans..in buses, and I know, BELIEVE me, I KNOW who she really is.” Will fumed, finger raised as he leaned forward slightly,
“And she writes her own songs, she sure as hell sings them too. She’s one of the FEW people who will go outside after EVERY show and meet fans. What you see here wasn’t made by Warner Bros..and to think that people have the fuckin’ BALLS to say that when they don’t even KNOW her pisses me off.”
“And me too.” Ryan agreed quietly, raising his hand.
Lily laughed softly, a smile spreading across her face like a warm glow.
Adam cleared his throat, causing both Will and Ryan to stop speaking and turn their heads,
“She is who she is. And that..” Adam scratched his arm,
“Is one of the most beautiful, kind, people I have ever met.”
Lily gasped softly, her hand flying to her mouth as her eyes started to well up.
Her band had never defended her like this..ever....it was almost overwhelming to hear them all saying such nice things about her...and in an interview too.
“Oh my god...you guys.” Lily whispered quietly..voice wavering slightly as all the emotions she had been suppressing so well came raging through her veins..
screaming to be acknowledged...
pushing their way out of her body in the form of tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes if she took one breath a little too deep...
Will smiled at her shyly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight.
A moment later Ryan pulled her to him in a quick hug, and Adam patted her head.
“It’s really nice to see a band as close..and as real as Saint Lily is, it really is.” John said with a nod,
“You can see that you guys have been through a great deal together..and yet you still have this passion for one another and your music.”
Will nodded,
“Definetly.”
“With that said..” John began,
“What’s next for Saint Lily?”
Lily took in a breath,
“Well uh...we’re going to the VMA’s later this month...”
“Ah yes..” John agreed, “Different time this year due to the uh..hurricane”
Lily nodded,
“And we actually have a benefit concert for the survivors of Hurricane Katrina...but uh..” Lily paused,
“We’re not really sure after that..more touring?” she said with a shrug.
“So...you’re not so sure...” John began before being interrupted by Will,
“YET.” he interjected.
Lily nodded,
“There should be some studio time in there too...we’ve been writing a lot..all of us.” she said, encompassing her band with one hand gesture,
“Will and Ryan have some awesome riffs...we should be recording more songs for the new album.”
John nodded,
“So we should be expecting a new cd soon, then?”
“Yes.” Lily confirmed, glancing up at the cameras,
“Soon...after we get back into the swing of things.”
John smiled,
“Well that’s exciting..I’m looking forward to it..you guys are amazing.”
Lily grinned,
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome..” John smiled before continuing,
“So it looks like you guys all grew up. Lily...any reason for going to brown?”
Lily shrugged,
“Well...I wanted to...show a change. I..” she paused,
“Wanted to be different..because inside, I am.”
Inside I’m screaming..
Inside I’m depressed...
Inside I hate myself.
Shutup
“I completely understand...” John paused,
“There has been some speculation over the past year or so about your relationships with singers from other bands...can you shed some light on your friendships with Gerard Way and Bert McCracken?”
================================
Gerard stepped out onto the red carpet, brushing the hair away from his face.
As the flash from the cameras surrounded him, he forced a nervous smile.
Award shows always made him nervous..and he wasn’t exactly used to them.
He and the rest of the band were led down the carpet, stopping every couple of feet for photo opps, Brian at their side.
A woman with a camera man stood a few feet in front of them, microphone in hand.
Before he knew it, he was being forced towards her smiling face...the camera pointed directly at him.
“It’s MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE! One of last year’s BIG break-through bands!” she said with a toothy, pearly, grin,
“Come on over, guys!” she said, ushering them towards her with a large, grandiose hand gesture.
Gerard noticed everyone’s body tense up as they neared her, forcing grins.
“Hey you guys!! What’s up! You look so good!” she exclaimed, extending the microphone to Gerard’s face.
She was really quite annoying.
“H-Hey...thank you.” he replied awkwardly, glancing at the camera...the screams of fans in the background.
“So you guys are up for a couple awards..best video...artist...are you guys nervous?!” she asked..a little too friendly.
Yes.
“Ah..yeah...a little bit.” Gerard admitted with a laugh.
“So you guys..” She continued.
Gerard looked around him as Frank took over the interview.
Suddenly, a large scream erupted from the crowd, causing Gerard to lose focus of the interview entirely.
He turned his head to see...Will?
His heart skipped a beat.
There was Will in a sharp, black suit..biting at his lip ring and waving at the crowd.
That meant...
Lily.
Somewhere.
His eyes wandered further down the red carpet....his heart beating furiously..finding it’s way up into his throat.
He hadn’t seen her in months..not since Warped.
Suddenly and abruptly...he forgot to breathe.
There she was...in a peach satin dress....that stopped just above her knees in a full, feminine skirt.
It plunged down to her chest, framing it in a heart shape...clinging to her petite waist, flaring out to show her shapely legs...her feet in black pumps..
Her large blue eyes were simply made up...a shimmer on her eye lids and a small line of cat-eyeliner...her painted lips were pursed into a smile..and...her hair...
Her...
Hair.
It was a warm, chocolate brown...falling in soft curls that rested on her full, round chest.
It suited her complexion..her face...but..at the same time..it made his stomach turn.
She was different.
And it KILLED him, and enticed him, at the same time.
Then she was walking towards him...
She looked away from the crowd, smiling so sweetly...her band at her side..and then
She looked at him.
=====================
It was as if someone had reached inside her..grabbed hold of her heart..and pulled.
There was Gerard...only moments away.
And she was locked in his gaze..
His perplexed gaze.
Suddenly she was a year younger....her heart cracking her ribs with each beat.
She was with him in her hotel room...
His lips were trailing kisses on her collar bone..
His legs were tangled with hers.
His fingers squeezing her breasts, teasing her flesh..
The flesh that was screaming for him to claim her..as his...
To pull her against him and never let go...to press their hearts against each others as their bodies melded together, moving in tune in the dark..dark night.
She could almost hear him breathing in her ear...could almost recreate the way her hand snaked up his shirt and ran over his chest..his ribs...daring to go lower...but never venturing out of new found prudence and morals she never had in a drug induced haze.
His moans as she kissed his neck...bit his ear...
“This way, Lily.” Will tugged at her arm, leading her away from the photographers.
She blinked and tore her gaze away from him...gaining her composure once more.
It was the past..it was done..it was OVER.
.....And his breath felt so good against her skin....
================
Lily took her seat between Will and Adam. As soon as she was situated, she was introduced to everyone around her by none other than P. Diddy, who happened to be sitting in front of her.
She never new how polite he was..nor how courteous and charming Nelly could be.
After being praised heavily by those around her, the show started.
About an hour in, Will touched her hand lightly,
“Our category is next.”
Lily perked up and sat up straight as they announced the nominees for Best New Artist,
“...Avenged Sevenfold, And Saint Lily.”
A large cheer erupted at the mention of their name, much to Lily’s surprise.
She smiled shyly as the envelope was ripped open by a very tense looking Paris Hilton..who seemed to be having difficulty performing the task.
Her heart was beating slowly..her palms were beginning to sweat...
Will and Adam grabbed her hands simulatenously..
“And the winner is...”
Paris paused as she read the name, and grinned as she stared up at the cameras,
“SAINT LILY!” she cried.
A cheer equivalent to a winning goal filled the air.
Lily jumped slightly, a hand covering her mouth in shock.
And suddenly Will was pulling her up and dragging her to the stage...Adam and Ryan in tow.
The speakers over-head blared “Bleed”...mixed with the cheers and cries of her fans and the applause from her fellow artists.
She stepped up onto the stage, seemingly floating to Paris, receiving a kiss on the cheek as she came to the podium.
She looked down to see a large, silver moon man clutched in her trembling hand.
How it got there...she couldn’t remember.
She took in a breath and turned towards the podium, resting a hand on the side as she leaned towards the microphone.
All she could manage was...
“Wow.” she breathed, laughing nervously as more cheers came forth....random cries of
‘Owwww!’ and a few ‘I love you Lily’ s filled the air as she paused to gather her thoughts,
“I love you guys too.” she laughed, grinning broadly,
“Thank you all so much for believing in a little band from Chicago...thank you so much for your constant support..and thanks so much to all the people that come to our shows and that voted for us...just..” Lily stumbled slightly on her words,
“Thank you so much to the fans...we love you guys.”
A cheer followed.
Will leaned into the mic, causing a collective female squeal,
“Thanks to the fans..mom, dad..everybody...love you all.”
Ryan and Adam agreed, adding a thank you to Matt, their manager, as Lily leaned in to speak once more,
“Thanks Mom, Jack, Billy, and Tom!” she blurted quickly,
“This one’s for you, Dad, I love you.” she said, holding up the award and blushing slightly at the amount of applause and cries that followed.
A moment later Paris led them backstage as another category was announced.
As soon as they were away from the crowd Lily turned and squealed, wrapping her arms around Will, then Ryan and Adam in a frenzy.
“WE DID IT!” she cried, jumping once in her black pumps.
They were all as excited as she was, and Will had proceeded to high five random technicians, and even grabbed Paris Hilton and gave her a hug..much to her dismay.
“YEAH!!!” he cried, jumping in front of a backstage camera and pumping his fist.
After answering a couple quick questions in a backstage interview, Lily wandered towards the bathrooms..leaving the moon man with Will.
She turned a corner, staring at her feet and smiling, and suddenly...
She felt velvet on her skin.
“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t watching where I was go-”
JesusfuckingchristGerardwhattheFUCK
They both stumbled over their words before Gerard stuck out his hand and blurted a congratulations, causing Lily to grasp his hand awkwardly and thank him before speeding off to the nearest bathroom; a shocked look on her face...mixed with determination to keep her composure.
As he sped off in the other direction to present the award for best video...she looked over her shoulder and watched him walk away, a small frown on her face.
She sighed and looked forward, walking towards the bathroom...intent on focusing on the gift bag she’d be receiving, not knowing the cause of the tingling sensation creeping up her shoulder and down her spine....
Not knowing that he, in turn, had looked over his own shoulder... and was watching her too...
Lily inhaled through her nose slowly, sunglasses hanging lazily from her fingertips.
No.
She stared at Will’s feet...watched them shift slightly as she opened her mouth to speak.
“We did our set...and then....” she paused, as if the words had been ripped out of her throat.
“I’ve never..uh..”she let out a small, nervous laugh,
“I’ve never talked about this in an interview before.” she said apologetically, staring at her clenched fists laying in her lap.
“Take your time.”
Lily glanced up at the cameras, no doubt zooming in on her every move.
She brushed the hair out of her face, feeling Will’s warm body pressing against her.
It was January.
A new year...all symbolic and shit, right?
2006....two thousand and fucking six.
Saint Lily was conducting their first interview since they had dropped out of the Warped Tour last summer.
It was overcast in New York that day.
Lily stepped out of the taxi-cab and onto the side-walk, her boots planting themselves firmly onto the slick pavement.
She pulled her black pea-coat tighter around herself, watching her breath rise up towards the sky scrapers before becoming one with the cold, biting city air.
Fuck, New York was always freezing....but today...
She tightened the red scarf around her neck, pressing her purse close to her side as she made a b-line for MTV’s studio, stepping gingerly over the sleet and random bits of garbage that lined the way.
Her thighs burned cold beneath her tight denim jeans, chocolate brown boots keeping her feet and calves at a tolerant temperature.
Her cheeks were bitten red from the winter air...her nose numb..
At least the taxi cab had some heat..but good lord...
Then..suddenly...a burst of warm.
Lily sighed in contentment as she stepped into the heated lobby, pulling at her scarf.
Her fingers were red, encouraging blood flow....heart pounding.
She walked up to the front desk, brushing her hair away from her face,
“Uh..Hi.” she said to the woman behind the counter, clutching her bag tightly,
“God, It’s cold out there.” she breathed with a nervous smile.
The woman agreed with a forced laugh.
Lily cleared her throat, “I’m uh...here for the interview with John Norris...I’m Lily McKay.”
The receptionist raised an eyebrow, staring at Lily very carefully with narrowed eyes.
She typed something into her computer before taking off her headset,
“What happened to your hair?” she asked quietly, a frown on her face.
“Oh..” Lily said with an embarrassed smile,
“I uh..I don’t know..I just wanted a change and..”
She brushed the warm, brown strands away from her face,
“I just wanted to feel different, you know? Because I feel different and-“
The woman pushed a button before gesturing to the elevator at the other end of the room,
“Fourth floor, Ms. Mckay. Your band is waiting.”
Lily sighed a thank you before going up to the fourth floor, where she saw her band sitting on plush couches, cardboard cups of coffee on the table before them.
They all looking slightly nervous...and slightly different.
Will’s hair was shorter.
It was still the same shade of shockingly light blond, but it didn’t fall dangerously close to his eyes anymore.
Instead, it was cut above his eyebrows with a razor edge, yet still sweeping across his forehead.
He looked older, and there was something much more mature in his jawline..in his deep brown eyes, as he chewed at his black lip ring absentmindedly.. focused on the empty cups of coffee and magazines on the sleek table before him.
Ryan had dyed his hair back to it’s natural dark brown, today looked like one of the few days he wasn’t clean shaven; a small shadow graced his usually smooth face.
Lily noticed he had taken out his eyebrow ring....his hair combed and parted.
Her heart seemed to twist as she thought of him in highschool...wearing Metallica t-shirts paired with a worn flannel jacket...faded ear-length turquoise hair... carelessly bleached and dyed in a bathroom sink ....a skateboard under his arm as he scuffled down the hallway...
And now here he was...in thick rimmed glasses and a tight white shirt, staring at his feet in MTV studios.
He had come a long way from holey band-tees and amateur dye jobs.
Adam’s hair had grown out slightly, but was still in a buzz cut.
He had ditched the boots for a pair of nondescript black vans, and was wearing a simple outfit of jeans and a jacket..a hoodie layered beneath to fight the New York chill.
His face looked softer....he looked calm..relaxed...Lily didn’t see the usual anger within him.
She had been standing there for a minute without recognition and decided to break the silence with a sigh.
“Hi guys.” she said with a smile, giving them a small wave as she clutched her purse closer to her body.
Will looked up from the cover of People magazine, fingers pressed against his lips absentmindedly.
“Oh SHIT.” he whispered, eyes widening as he focused on Lily.
Ryan and Adam turned their heads as Will stood up, amongst their gasps and laughs of disbelief.
Before Lily could get a word in, Will had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a rib- crunching hug, leaving her to take in shallow breaths..wide eyed from his sudden burst of affection.
Suddenly Lily was surrounded on all sides, crunched in the middle of a group hug.
The smell of aftershave filled her nostrils...
Her heart seeming to rip open slightly...
The wounds that had healed since last June had opened ever so slowly...
Old Spice.
She closed her eyes as she felt their chests rise and fall simultaneously around her....their presence a comfort.
She had spent almost half a year without them...confined to her house...wondering whether each creak on the hard wood floor was really HIM walking up the stairs.
And her mother kept on asking her where ‘that Robert ran off to’.
Billy wondered where he was so he could ‘woop his scrawny ass’...and Jack really wanted to know what had happened that day in June.
Apparently they had heard about Warped Tour.
But considering the publicity the situation had during the summer..it wasn’t entirely surprising.
Lily had come to accept that her family did NOT live in a bubble...and the home-made ‘Lily + Bert’ shirts circulating the scene didn’t help either.
She and her three brothers, Tom, Jack and Billy, moved back in after her father died.
They all decided, after the funeral was over, that maybe it’d be a good idea to stay a little bit longer...
A few days turned into weeks, weeks to months...family comfort proving more important than any sound check or venue.
And the McKay children gave the house life once more...perking up her mother with their bickering and squabbling...keeping her distracted with wrestling and dinner plans.
Old family photographs were dusted and propped up...the silk flowers on the dining room table replaced with real ones....her father’s senior portrait graced the mantle, a cross nailed above him on the wall.
Lily took one more breath and pulled away,
“I missed you guys.”
Her band stood before her, their familiar smiles a comfort.
“Well..” Ryan said with a sigh,
“We kind of missed you too.”
Lily laughed.
Their presence was almost soothing...they were her life...her comfort....the reminder that she could accomplish something....
“SO..your..hair..” Will began, gesturing to his own,
“Leaving me in the dust here or what?” he asked, referring to his pale blond strands.
Lily frowned, holding a piece of hair between her fingers,
“I don’t know..it just seemed like a good idea at the time. I can always bleach it..” she said with a shrug.
People’s reactions were starting to annoy her.
“Well, I like it.” Adam mumbled, scratching his jaw.
“Well THANK you, Adam.” Lily sighed with a grin.
“HEY,” Will interjected, “I NEVER said I didn’t LIKE it, I was just saying-“
He was cut off as John entered the room, leaving him to mumble about how he was ‘so misunderstood’....
Lily blinked, tearing her eyes off of the camera.
Her eyes adjusted to the soft lighting as she opened her mouth to speak,
“We went back to the tourbus..and my manager sat us down and told us..”
Lily swallowed, focusing on a spot on the floor...hands tucked between her knees,
“That my dad had died.”
She looked up at John, blinking determinedly.
Will instinctively laid his hand on her thigh.
“I’m so sorry to hear that...that’s always hard..dealing with the loss of a parent...”
John said softly as Lily chewed at her lower lip, staring at Will’s shoes as she nodded slowly.
“And uh..” Will spoke up, clearing his throat,
“It was hard for all of us because we all knew Mr. McKay..a great guy...” he explained, fingers wandering to his ear.
“Always had us over for dinner.” Adam interjected thoughtfully.
“Yeah,” Ryan said with a grin, “And he always ended up arguing with Will over something...didn’t he want you to join the union or something?” Ryan asked, peering over at Will with a laugh.
Will chuckled,
“Yeah, pretty much EVERY time I came over....”
Lily laughed softly, shaking her head.
John laughed and cleared his throat,
“So, Lily...being the song writer in the band...have any of these recent experiences...Warped Tour...your father...helped you write?” John asked, hand to chin.
A flurry of images passed through her mind....
A screaming crowd singing along to every word, Bert’s impish grin as he walked backwards, Gerard laughing...the casket being lowered down into the ground...her mother crying....
Lily nodded,
“Of...of course. I mean....”
She paused....
Her father’s face....
“It was kind of NECESSARY to write it all out..because otherwise...” she stared at her fingers..pressed tightly against her palm.
“I’d have a hell of a hard time even talking about it...you know?” she finished almost in a whisper, barely able to tear her eyes away from her hands.
“I understand...” John began softly, piercing the almost painful silence as Lily struggled to push away a flood of memories,
“You’re a very strong woman for even coming out here, and I thank you personally.”
Lily nodded slowly, mumbling a thank you.
“You know,” Will began,
“People don’t realize...that Lily’s been through a LOT of shit.” Will interjected almost passionately. His voice wavered slightly,
“I mean, she’s overcome SO fuckin’ much.”
Ryan and Adam gave grunts of agreement as Will continued,
“And all these people criticizing her...saying she doesn’t write her own songs...saying..uh..you know..”
Will gestured with his hands as he formed his thoughts into words,
“She was created in a studio, she lip syncs...can honestly go fuck themselves.”
Will finished, brow furrowed in frustration,
“Because I’ve known Lily for like..7 years. I’ve lived in hotel rooms with her...in vans..in buses, and I know, BELIEVE me, I KNOW who she really is.” Will fumed, finger raised as he leaned forward slightly,
“And she writes her own songs, she sure as hell sings them too. She’s one of the FEW people who will go outside after EVERY show and meet fans. What you see here wasn’t made by Warner Bros..and to think that people have the fuckin’ BALLS to say that when they don’t even KNOW her pisses me off.”
“And me too.” Ryan agreed quietly, raising his hand.
Lily laughed softly, a smile spreading across her face like a warm glow.
Adam cleared his throat, causing both Will and Ryan to stop speaking and turn their heads,
“She is who she is. And that..” Adam scratched his arm,
“Is one of the most beautiful, kind, people I have ever met.”
Lily gasped softly, her hand flying to her mouth as her eyes started to well up.
Her band had never defended her like this..ever....it was almost overwhelming to hear them all saying such nice things about her...and in an interview too.
“Oh my god...you guys.” Lily whispered quietly..voice wavering slightly as all the emotions she had been suppressing so well came raging through her veins..
screaming to be acknowledged...
pushing their way out of her body in the form of tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes if she took one breath a little too deep...
Will smiled at her shyly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight.
A moment later Ryan pulled her to him in a quick hug, and Adam patted her head.
“It’s really nice to see a band as close..and as real as Saint Lily is, it really is.” John said with a nod,
“You can see that you guys have been through a great deal together..and yet you still have this passion for one another and your music.”
Will nodded,
“Definetly.”
“With that said..” John began,
“What’s next for Saint Lily?”
Lily took in a breath,
“Well uh...we’re going to the VMA’s later this month...”
“Ah yes..” John agreed, “Different time this year due to the uh..hurricane”
Lily nodded,
“And we actually have a benefit concert for the survivors of Hurricane Katrina...but uh..” Lily paused,
“We’re not really sure after that..more touring?” she said with a shrug.
“So...you’re not so sure...” John began before being interrupted by Will,
“YET.” he interjected.
Lily nodded,
“There should be some studio time in there too...we’ve been writing a lot..all of us.” she said, encompassing her band with one hand gesture,
“Will and Ryan have some awesome riffs...we should be recording more songs for the new album.”
John nodded,
“So we should be expecting a new cd soon, then?”
“Yes.” Lily confirmed, glancing up at the cameras,
“Soon...after we get back into the swing of things.”
John smiled,
“Well that’s exciting..I’m looking forward to it..you guys are amazing.”
Lily grinned,
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome..” John smiled before continuing,
“So it looks like you guys all grew up. Lily...any reason for going to brown?”
Lily shrugged,
“Well...I wanted to...show a change. I..” she paused,
“Wanted to be different..because inside, I am.”
Inside I’m screaming..
Inside I’m depressed...
Inside I hate myself.
Shutup
“I completely understand...” John paused,
“There has been some speculation over the past year or so about your relationships with singers from other bands...can you shed some light on your friendships with Gerard Way and Bert McCracken?”
================================
Gerard stepped out onto the red carpet, brushing the hair away from his face.
As the flash from the cameras surrounded him, he forced a nervous smile.
Award shows always made him nervous..and he wasn’t exactly used to them.
He and the rest of the band were led down the carpet, stopping every couple of feet for photo opps, Brian at their side.
A woman with a camera man stood a few feet in front of them, microphone in hand.
Before he knew it, he was being forced towards her smiling face...the camera pointed directly at him.
“It’s MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE! One of last year’s BIG break-through bands!” she said with a toothy, pearly, grin,
“Come on over, guys!” she said, ushering them towards her with a large, grandiose hand gesture.
Gerard noticed everyone’s body tense up as they neared her, forcing grins.
“Hey you guys!! What’s up! You look so good!” she exclaimed, extending the microphone to Gerard’s face.
She was really quite annoying.
“H-Hey...thank you.” he replied awkwardly, glancing at the camera...the screams of fans in the background.
“So you guys are up for a couple awards..best video...artist...are you guys nervous?!” she asked..a little too friendly.
Yes.
“Ah..yeah...a little bit.” Gerard admitted with a laugh.
“So you guys..” She continued.
Gerard looked around him as Frank took over the interview.
Suddenly, a large scream erupted from the crowd, causing Gerard to lose focus of the interview entirely.
He turned his head to see...Will?
His heart skipped a beat.
There was Will in a sharp, black suit..biting at his lip ring and waving at the crowd.
That meant...
Lily.
Somewhere.
His eyes wandered further down the red carpet....his heart beating furiously..finding it’s way up into his throat.
He hadn’t seen her in months..not since Warped.
Suddenly and abruptly...he forgot to breathe.
There she was...in a peach satin dress....that stopped just above her knees in a full, feminine skirt.
It plunged down to her chest, framing it in a heart shape...clinging to her petite waist, flaring out to show her shapely legs...her feet in black pumps..
Her large blue eyes were simply made up...a shimmer on her eye lids and a small line of cat-eyeliner...her painted lips were pursed into a smile..and...her hair...
Her...
Hair.
It was a warm, chocolate brown...falling in soft curls that rested on her full, round chest.
It suited her complexion..her face...but..at the same time..it made his stomach turn.
She was different.
And it KILLED him, and enticed him, at the same time.
Then she was walking towards him...
She looked away from the crowd, smiling so sweetly...her band at her side..and then
She looked at him.
=====================
It was as if someone had reached inside her..grabbed hold of her heart..and pulled.
There was Gerard...only moments away.
And she was locked in his gaze..
His perplexed gaze.
Suddenly she was a year younger....her heart cracking her ribs with each beat.
She was with him in her hotel room...
His lips were trailing kisses on her collar bone..
His legs were tangled with hers.
His fingers squeezing her breasts, teasing her flesh..
The flesh that was screaming for him to claim her..as his...
To pull her against him and never let go...to press their hearts against each others as their bodies melded together, moving in tune in the dark..dark night.
She could almost hear him breathing in her ear...could almost recreate the way her hand snaked up his shirt and ran over his chest..his ribs...daring to go lower...but never venturing out of new found prudence and morals she never had in a drug induced haze.
His moans as she kissed his neck...bit his ear...
“This way, Lily.” Will tugged at her arm, leading her away from the photographers.
She blinked and tore her gaze away from him...gaining her composure once more.
It was the past..it was done..it was OVER.
.....And his breath felt so good against her skin....
================
Lily took her seat between Will and Adam. As soon as she was situated, she was introduced to everyone around her by none other than P. Diddy, who happened to be sitting in front of her.
She never new how polite he was..nor how courteous and charming Nelly could be.
After being praised heavily by those around her, the show started.
About an hour in, Will touched her hand lightly,
“Our category is next.”
Lily perked up and sat up straight as they announced the nominees for Best New Artist,
“...Avenged Sevenfold, And Saint Lily.”
A large cheer erupted at the mention of their name, much to Lily’s surprise.
She smiled shyly as the envelope was ripped open by a very tense looking Paris Hilton..who seemed to be having difficulty performing the task.
Her heart was beating slowly..her palms were beginning to sweat...
Will and Adam grabbed her hands simulatenously..
“And the winner is...”
Paris paused as she read the name, and grinned as she stared up at the cameras,
“SAINT LILY!” she cried.
A cheer equivalent to a winning goal filled the air.
Lily jumped slightly, a hand covering her mouth in shock.
And suddenly Will was pulling her up and dragging her to the stage...Adam and Ryan in tow.
The speakers over-head blared “Bleed”...mixed with the cheers and cries of her fans and the applause from her fellow artists.
She stepped up onto the stage, seemingly floating to Paris, receiving a kiss on the cheek as she came to the podium.
She looked down to see a large, silver moon man clutched in her trembling hand.
How it got there...she couldn’t remember.
She took in a breath and turned towards the podium, resting a hand on the side as she leaned towards the microphone.
All she could manage was...
“Wow.” she breathed, laughing nervously as more cheers came forth....random cries of
‘Owwww!’ and a few ‘I love you Lily’ s filled the air as she paused to gather her thoughts,
“I love you guys too.” she laughed, grinning broadly,
“Thank you all so much for believing in a little band from Chicago...thank you so much for your constant support..and thanks so much to all the people that come to our shows and that voted for us...just..” Lily stumbled slightly on her words,
“Thank you so much to the fans...we love you guys.”
A cheer followed.
Will leaned into the mic, causing a collective female squeal,
“Thanks to the fans..mom, dad..everybody...love you all.”
Ryan and Adam agreed, adding a thank you to Matt, their manager, as Lily leaned in to speak once more,
“Thanks Mom, Jack, Billy, and Tom!” she blurted quickly,
“This one’s for you, Dad, I love you.” she said, holding up the award and blushing slightly at the amount of applause and cries that followed.
A moment later Paris led them backstage as another category was announced.
As soon as they were away from the crowd Lily turned and squealed, wrapping her arms around Will, then Ryan and Adam in a frenzy.
“WE DID IT!” she cried, jumping once in her black pumps.
They were all as excited as she was, and Will had proceeded to high five random technicians, and even grabbed Paris Hilton and gave her a hug..much to her dismay.
“YEAH!!!” he cried, jumping in front of a backstage camera and pumping his fist.
After answering a couple quick questions in a backstage interview, Lily wandered towards the bathrooms..leaving the moon man with Will.
She turned a corner, staring at her feet and smiling, and suddenly...
She felt velvet on her skin.
“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t watching where I was go-”
JesusfuckingchristGerardwhattheFUCK
They both stumbled over their words before Gerard stuck out his hand and blurted a congratulations, causing Lily to grasp his hand awkwardly and thank him before speeding off to the nearest bathroom; a shocked look on her face...mixed with determination to keep her composure.
As he sped off in the other direction to present the award for best video...she looked over her shoulder and watched him walk away, a small frown on her face.
She sighed and looked forward, walking towards the bathroom...intent on focusing on the gift bag she’d be receiving, not knowing the cause of the tingling sensation creeping up her shoulder and down her spine....
Not knowing that he, in turn, had looked over his own shoulder... and was watching her too...
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