FicWad

Hey everyone!! Oh my gosh I feel absolutley terrible for not updating for so long. But I pushed myself and updated for all of you. I love you all to death. Really I do... the truth was, I was stuck, writers block is a killer. But I do have to thank The one who wrote "I'd End My Days With You In A Hail Of Bullets" she really helped me and pulled me out of my rut. READ HER STORY ITS ADORABLE!!! If you like mine you'll like hers. Anyways enogh of my blabber. READ MY STORY NOW... lol. Love...
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Today was July 20’Th… nearing the end of the month and I still hadn’t seen Frank. I really did think that this stupid thing would only last a week or so, but boy was I wrong. It had been three weeks now since we saw each other and every new day cut into me just a little more.

I missed him more then I could even verbalize. I didn’t even know if he missed me at all but I didn’t care to find out being I was too afraid of the outcome of my question.

I didn’t get why he was so embarrassed after what happen. I thought it was amazing for him to stand up for me like that. No one ever had, I was always just picked on in school with no one to turn to. Then I had Frank, and it was as if I was given the most wonderful thing in the world and then had it ripped away from me because my trial period was over.

The best way I could think to describe it would be like when you download a game, and you’re really into this game. You spend every day playing it and get used to having it. Then suddenly one day you go to play your game and it tells you that from now on you have to buy it or you can no longer play. Doesn’t that piss you off?

I just wanna tell him that I wasn’t scared of him and that what he did made me love him even more. Oh ya, there’s that topic to. I’m in love with my former best friend, and I took too long to realize it. Not that it would matter anyway even if we were still good. I wouldn’t even know where to start on telling him. He’s not even gay anyway; I didn’t even know I was gay.

God things are so confusing now. With Frank everything just made sense, now I’m caught up in all this second guessing and regretful feelings shit. I can’t take much more of these days. Life sucks right now…

I woke up the next morning to my annoying little brothers nudges. “Ugghh…. “ I groaned all half asleep and what not. “Wake up Gerard! It’s almost twelve! You never do anything anymore you just mope around and be boring. I miss Frank! At least when he was around you were a cool older brother.” Mikey rolled his eyes and stormed downstairs, I just went back to sleep.

The next day I woke up to my phone beeping loudly at me. ’Why would I have set an alarm for today?’ I rubbed my tired eyes and picked up my beeping phone looking at the screen to disable the alarm. The date was set for today July 22 and was labeled “For Mikey” “What?” I tried to think of what today would be for Mikey and couldn’t think of it. Though without fail he came into my room to wake me up.

“Gerard? your awake? But, you’re never awake before twelve.”

I once again tried to rub the sleep from my eyes before smiling to my brother. I now remembered what it was I had set the alarm for. Today was that local music festival I had promised him I’d see with him. Though, my smile quickly faded as I remembered who was supposed to come with us, and who would defiantly be there, especially since there was gonna be a Misfits cover band. Ugghh….

“Wow for a second there I was hopeful, but grumbley Gerard is back. “

I rolled my eyes. He was such a wise ass sometimes.

“Shut up Mikey, I got up for you so we could go to that stupid locals show…”

“Well when you put it that way, I don’t even wanna go with you. Never mind Gerard I’ll just go by myself and probably get beat up and lost, but hey, your loss I hope you liked having a little brother.

“Mikey went to leave the room but I stopped him, spiteful little bastard. Unfortunately I loved him.

“Mikey, wait, I’m sorry, it’s just… well… I don’t… I didn’t want…” I couldn’t find words to voice what I wanted to say. Luckily my brother already knew.

“You don’t wanna see Frank there right? I forgot he was supposed to go with us… Gee I’m sorry. We don’t have to go… never mind its fine.”

Why does he have to use that nick name? I know it stuck, but it cuts right through me. I tried to ignore the use of Frank’s nick name and put on a fake smile.

“No Mikey its fine. I won’t make you miss something just cause of some stupid reason I have for not wanting to see someone I probably won’t even see. The festival is huge, and there are going to be a million different bands.” I tried to say reassuringly.

I wasn’t fooling myself so I probably wasn’t fooling him either. Though, he was a good brother and at least pretended he was to give me just a bit of satisfaction.

“Well, get ready then! We gotta go soon it starts at 1:00.” Mikey exited my room and I slowly got out of bed, this would be the first time in all three weeks I was actually doing something productive. Mikey was right, if I kept going this way, I was going to get fat.

Maybe this would be good for me… to get out. Maybe Frank wouldn’t go, I mean, you know… oh who am I kidding, of course he’s gonna be there. Some group is covering his favorite band. Annoyed I pulled on a pair of Jeans tightly fitted of course, as always, same as Fra… I had to stop myself. I have to stop relating everything to him. I shook my head and continued getting dressed all black as usual, ran a hand through my shaggy black hair and went downstairs shoving my phone in my pocket.

We quickly shoved down some food and then we were out the door headed to the festival, lamely enough we had to take the bus cause neither of us had a car to drive.

We had been at the festival for about an hour and a half now and I still didn’t see Frank once. Maybe god was nice today; maybe I wouldn’t have to see him. Though maybe I was wrong… as we walked into the crowed of the Misfits cover band my luck ran out. I knew it would. There he was, he didn’t see me yet but I saw him. He looked amazing. His hair all pushed to one side, pieces falling to the other just a bit. His lip ring reflecting the sun making those lips look heavenly, a black tight T-shirt that said Misfits in green lettering and skinny jeans that clung to his skin making the black converse on his feet much more noticeable seeing as how they weren’t being covered. God he was gorgeous, my heart broke even more then I thought was even humanly possible. Like the little pieces I still had left were just put through the grinder and someone pushed frappe. I only prayed he wouldn’t turn around, though, when you have a brother such as Mikey Way, things never go as you want them to.

“Hey Gee its Frank! Go over there! You’ve been wanting to see him for forever!” Oh no…. I dropped my head and closed my eyes. Maybe I’d turn invisible.

“Frank!!” Mikey called out, I wanted to die…

“Mikey shut the hell up!!!” I said trying to be quiet, though despite all my efforts He turned around and I, for the first time in three weeks and 2 days saw his face again.

“Mikey!?.... Gerard….” Frank questioned trailing off and significantly lowering his face when he said my name.

“Frank!!!” Mikey yelled going up to him and hugging him. “I miss you man! Gerard’s been so boring lately without you around…” Franks face fell… he looked to the ground, then to me, then back to Mikey.

“Y-ya Mikey… I, I’ve missed you to…” Frank replied saddly, in a low mumble looking to the ground.

Mikey immediately noticed the same type of behavior in Frank as was in me. He knew we needed each other, we knew we needed each other, but neither wanted to say anything to the other.

“Uh… Hi Gerard… good s-seeing you… Uhm… well… bye…. Oh and b-bye Mikey.” Frank disappeared into the crowd again and he was once again out of my life.

Today was the second worst day ever, next to the one where he left. Seeing him was even worse than not seeing him. I wanted to go home.

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