Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's Not Like It Hurts That Much Anyway

Chapter Twenty Seven

by ryanrossISsove 3 reviews

William realizes something. Ellie comes over to talk about feelings. William cries. He'll never be happy.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Published: 2007-08-30 - Updated: 2007-08-30 - 1221 words

William’s POV-

As I laid, sprawled across the couch the next morning, my head on my temples, I groaned in agony.
I was suffering from a major headache.

I was never good with dealing with pain, especially early in the morning.

“Oh god…” I moaned.

“Oh god, please…just kill me now. Spare the trouble of putting me through all this agony, and just kill me now…” I pleaded.

Suddenly, I heard someone come through the door.

“Who are you talking too?” I heard.

I shifted my eyes, from my knees, to the doorway.


“Oh…I have a headache…” I said, grasping my head in a different position, and groaning.

“Ah, I see. Do you own any Advil?” she asked.

“Uh…in the medicine cabinet…above the sink…I’m in too much pain…” I said.

She rolled her eyes, and chuckled, as she waltzed off to grab me some relief.

Not soon enough, as I was suffering, she came waltzing on back.

“Here, take these.” she said, pulling me up, and handing me three Advil pills.

I shoved them in my mouth, and swallowed.

“Drink up.” she said, handing me a glass of water as I washed them down.

I swallowed again.

“Thank you.” I said, looking up at her.

“Hey, no problem.” she said.

“Where’s Sisky?” I asked.

“Sisky is shopping. He needs new “threads” for tour.” she said.

“Oh, tour shopping already?” I asked.

“Well, you guys only have a month left…” she said.

I nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m a procrastinator.” I told her, feeling my headache slowly start to feel.

She smiled, and giggled a bit.

“Yes, you are.” she said, messing up my hair.

“Question?” I asked her.

“Anything?” she said, sitting.

“Do you-like my hair?” I asked.

“What?” she asked.

I reached for my hair, tugged a lock, and asked again.

“Do you like it? Is it ugly?” I asked her.

She started laughing.

“What?” I asked.

She slowly gained her composure, and shook her head.

“What?” I asked, again.

“William, that’s not questionable. Everyone, and I mean, everyone loves your hair. It’s amazing. Why?” She asked, running three fingers through my mane.

“Well.” I said, sighing.

“I came about this close to cutting the entire lot off last night…” I said, showing her a tiny measurement with my fingers.

“WHAT!” she said, immediately slapping me across the face.

I held my face.

“Bitch.” I chuckled.

Then, I turned to look at her. She had the straightest face on.

“I didn’t though, and I’m not planning on it…I don’t know what came over me, really…” I said.

She shook her head.

“I almost can’t believe that…” she said.

“I know…I know…really stupid…I know.” I said.

“That’s so gay…” she said.

It was silent.

I curled my lips in.

“Thanks.” I said. I know how she meant it. It’s pretty funny actually, she acts like a middle schooler, I swear.

She gasped, and covered her mouth.

I just bit my lip, and chuckled.

“I’m so sorry William!” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck.

She let go.

“Hey, it’s cool.” I said.

“No…no it’s not…” she said.

“I’m fine, really…no offensive taken whatsoever.” I said.

“I shouldn’t say those things….it’s a stupid comeback anyway…it’s a stupid word…” she said.

“Hey, I said it was alright. Don’t worry about it.” I said.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah, positive. It’s not like it hurts that much anyway. That I can’t have Pete, that is.” I said.

She nodded.

“You really love him, don’t you?” she asked, in a somber tone.

I sighed.

“Yeah. I really do.” I said.

“Tell me how you feel.” she said.

“What?” I asked, kind of stimulated, switching my position, into a substantial sit.

“Tell me everything. How do you feel every time you see him?” she asked.

“Well, I get these butterflies in my stomach.” I said, motioning my hands onto my stomach.

She nodded her head, and kept me going.

“And…sometimes I stutter. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say, because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. Afraid that maybe I’ll somehow let the cat out of the box.”

She nodded. This feels good.

“Sometimes, I just want to…have him. All to myself, you know? I don’t want to share him, romantically of course. I hate Ashlee. Sometimes…no wait, all the time, I feel like I’m not good enough for him, because if I was, maybe he’d notice me…in that way. I never really feel hot, and confident around him. I’m really self conscious…I guess you could say.”

She just bit her lip, nodding.

“William, you have a problem.” she said.

“Why? Why do I have a problem?” I asked.

“This whole Pete thing, it’s ruining your life…are you happy?” she asked.

“Yeah…I am. I like my life…” I said.

“Well, you just said…nothing short of nothing positive about being in love with Pete. I’m not so sure it’s healthy.” she said.

“Well, I can’t help it, Ellie.” I said.

“Maybe you should…I don’t know…maybe we could find you a girlfriend or something.” she said.

I sighed.

“You want to change me.” I mumbled.

“No, no William. If I wanted to change you I’d have done it by now, otherwise you wouldn’t be my best friend. I want to help you. You seem miserable.” she said.

I nodded. I understand where she’s coming from.

“Can I just try something?” I asked her.

“What?” she asked.

“This.” I said, quickly pressing my lips against hers. She kissed back at first, then, pulled away after a good long five seconds had passed.

“William…what was…” she said, scratching the back of her neck, before I cut her off.

“I didn’t feel anything.” I told her.

“Oh-oh, okay, I get it. You were checking to see if you-” she started.

“Are still attracted to girls. Yes.” I said, cutting her off.

“So? You didn’t feel anything? Not even a sex appeal?” she asked.

“No…nothing.” I said.

“Maybe I’m not bi at all. Maybe I’m just straight up gay…a flamer. A faggot. I’m a disgusting homo.” I said, getting down quickly.

“William stop it! There’s nothing wrong with you!” she said, getting upset.

“Yes, there is. Now, I have to go on living a lie for the rest of my life.” I said.

“Why? Because your afraid of what people will think of you?” she asked.

“Yes.” I said.

She sighed.

“So, your going to marry a woman, and have kids…pretending your straight till the day you die?” she asked.

I nodded.

“That’s my initial plan so far.” I said.

“When are you truly going to be happy, William?” she asked.

“The day Peter Wentz falls in love with a failure like me.” I said, turning my head, as a tear slowly dribbled out of the corner of my eye, rolling down my lanky face, and dripping onto my lap off the tip of my cheek.
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