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Ryan and I were literally pushed together. Ryan by Brendan and Spencer and me by Leslie and amy. At fisrst I got kind of annoyed. Shouldn't Brendan be in some form of heartbreak? Obviously the way for him to get over someone is to force two of his friends (one of them his ex) together.

After awhile though, I learned that Ryan had liked me before I even met him. Before you call him a stalker it was because of Pete. He had shown Ryan a picture of me when Pete wasn't a total idiot and thought I didn't love him anymore. Then wehm Brendan asked me out he avoided contact for awhile. I understood that. He sorta pulled a Pete move but he didn't know me as well. Understandable.

After a few days he asked me out for dinner. Two days later we were official. Meaning the bags under Pete's eyes got bigger and darker. He was falling apart.

Leslie and Amy took me shopping one day. No boys. No troubles. No Pete. Of course for Leslie and Amy that meant that Pete had to be mentioned in every conversation.

"Hey those shoes are cute! Pete would love them on you!" No.

"Doesn't Pete like the Smashing Pumpkins? You should get it!" No.

"Wow. Sexy langerie. Pete would definately love that." NO!

I think I'm going to scream if they don't shut up.

Finally after Leslie had sprayed perfume on me and stated "Hey, that sort of smells like Pete!" I cracked.

"Why do you guys keep bringing him up?!" I snapped.

They looked at each other and sighed. "He's dying without you, Dra. He misses you." Amy murmured. "He's got anti-depressants taht don't do anything to help him. If anything he's getting worse. He needs you."

Leslie nodded. I sighed sadly.

"I know, I miss him too. I still love him. I have never stopped loving him." I whispered. "But I can't just cheat on Ryan."

Leslie narrowed her eyes at me.

"Why? You never had trouble cheating on Breandan and he was perfect." she hissed.

Ouch. Slap on the face right there.

"Les," Amy warned.

Leslie continued despite Amy's warning an dthe tears stinging myeyes.

"You say you love pete and then you date Brendan." You say you love Brendan and then you cheat on him with Pete! It's lucky Brendan can take a punch otherwise you'd have two crumbling lovers on your hands."

"Stop it." I whispered.

"Choose youre man, Kendra. Choose the right one or your going to have the death of a friend on your hands." Leslie finished.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed attracting stares from the other shoppers."JUST SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW!"

Then I turned and ran.

Ok, it was a really stupid move considering I got here by Amy's car. Now I have no other way of getting home except walking. But I guess I needed to gather my thoughts.

Pete. He's dying without me? I knew he was crumbling but dying? The Pete I knew would never be like that. He'd chip occationally or stretch but he'd always bounce back some how. Leslie's words from that one night a little more than a week ago floated their way into my mind.

'Fame changes people. Even us.'

Well, how had I changed? I'm still the whore everyone loves*. Yes, but I have a better taste in men, I'm a better heartbreaker, and I know how to make a man die without me.

Ooh, I'm so good.

Lets see, what other men did I ruin?

Brendan. Pfft. Of course I did. I told him I loved him, let him believe I did, let him devot his heart to me, kis me, hug me, and then I dumped his very deserving ass on the curb while I made out with Pete for about 3 seconds.

God damn, I'm horrible.

Joe? Sure, Joe was having a nice night with his girlfriend, Leslie, and I barged in being whiney and all 'me, me, me!' He was being a good friend and didn't call me out on it. He just grinned and bared it while I ruined his perfect night with Leslie.

ARGH This is getting totally annoying. Ok, who eles?

Patrick? No, but I probably did somehow. Andy? Yeah, probably. Even Ryan isn't safe from me. Spence and Brent? Them too.

Moving on to the girls. Lets see.

Leslie, ruined her night with Joe and somehow pissed her off so bad that she turned against me. It was always about me when I was with her.

Amy? Hmmm...I haven't seen her or Patrick in awhile. She's called me I'm pretty sure but my phone died and I haven't had the time to charge it.

And why was that?

Because I was to busy with MY PROBLEMS!!!

Rebekka? Ha, I'm pretty sure I've ruined one part or another of her life. I'm Pete's killer, his murderer, I'm the girl Pete can't get enough of, the girl he can't let go. The girl he cheats with.

I can see the conversation now.

Me: Hi Rebekka!

Rebekka: Hi Kendra!

Me: Guess what?

Rebekka: What?!

Me: I fucked your bofriend! Almost twice but he turned into a bastard that I used to know and I pushed him away!

Rebekka: That's awesome!

Me: I know!

From there Rebekka attacks me and claws my eyes out with her killer nails.

Maybe I'll cut my hair off, dye it, change my name to Scarlett and live in Mexico where I die of water poisining.

Yeah, that'd be fun.

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NO COMMENTS TODAY BITCHES!!!!

*=I love you Kendra...