Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins
6 reviewsGerard's confesion gets him thrown out of church. (I rewrote it, so check it out bitches!)
1Original
“What time is it?”
Frank diverted his eyes from the tv and leaned across my lap to reach for the remote on the other side of the couch. I stared at the smooth expanse of his back, a few muscles flexing under his thin, grey t-shirt as he moved, and I couldn’t help but imagine what his skin would feel like under my fingers. With a grunt Frank reached the remote and sat up before he changed the tv over to the guide channel. 4:23.
“Shit, I’ve got to go. If I’m late for church momma will kill me.”
“Church on a Thursday?” Frank asked looking thoroughly confused.
I paused while wrapping my scarf around my neck. “Well not technically church, choir practice.” Frank got up to see me to the door and I zipped up my jacket. “Momma signed me and Mikey up for the choir ‘cause she thinks it’ll be good for us.”
“Is it doing any good?”
“No.”
Frank smiled and pulled me into a hug. His hair smelled like soap and his mom’s cookies. “See you tomorrow then Gee.”
“Alright Frankie.”
The wind had kicked up quite a bit while I had been at Frank’s house, and a lazy mist that didn’t really deserve to be called rain dampened my hair. As I walked I tried to figure out the strange feeling I had that entire afternoon. It was a new feeling, an urgent feeling that made me want to squirm and educed strange thoughts of naked skin and the scent of Frank’s clothes and hair. So many times I had wanted to undress him, to touch him and let him touch me. I shook my head hard and pushed all my thoughts to the back of my mind as I climbed the front porch steps and entered my house.
Momma was dashing around the living room, looking for her purse and trying to put her coat on at the same time. “Mikey…Mikey, have you seen my purse.”
“It’s right here momma,” my little brother answered as he emerged from the kitchen and handed it to her.
“Thank you baby.” She fished her keys out of her purse and spotted me at the front door. “Oh Gerard, there you are. I was starting to get worried.”
“I promised I wouldn’t be late.”
“And you kept your promise. Now the both of you get in the car let’s go.”
Momma put on the windshield wipers even though she didn’t really need them. They made an annoying squeaking sound on every upward motion and Mikey turned on the radio to try and drown it out. The song sucked about as much as the weather.
“How was the movie?”
“What?”
“The movie you went to see with Frank.”
I stutter a little before throwing out, “It was good,” and went back to staring out the window. Frank and I never went to see a movie, we just went to Frank’s house and watched tv. I don’t really know why I lied to my mother, but I did and I felt a little guilty about it. I shouldn’t have been really, it wasn’t a big lie. Momma dropped Mikey and I off at the church’s front steps and wished us luck before she drove off to the beauty parlor.
I kind of hate choir, my throat always hurts afterwards because the director makes me sing in the highest voice that I can manage and we have to line up and confess when we’re done. I can never remember all my sins and when I do they never really seem like real sins. I guess that’s why I lied to my mother, so I could have something to confess in case I couldn’t remember anything else.
Once everyone was present and accounted for we lined up on the risers and the director, a little old lady with black streaks in her graying hair and a gaudy fake pearl necklace named Mrs. Riley, passed out the song books. We were learning a new song that day, and when I say new I mean it had different lyrics, the organ music sounded exactly the same as the song before that, and the song before that, and the song before that. Poor Mrs. Riley always tries to mix it up a bit by giving the girls and boys different parts and layering the vocals, but it still sounds like all the other songs we’ve sung. I tune out through most of it, which is pretty easy to do given the monotony, and begin to finish the thoughts that I was having as I walked home from Frank’s house. By the time Mrs. Riley was happy with the choir’s performance I had come to a conclusion that left a considerable knot in my stomach.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
"What is your sin my son?"
I took a deep breath and crossed myself. "I lied to my mother and had lustful thoughts."
"What was your lie?"
"She asked me where I was going after school. I told her that I was going to the movies with a friend of mine. I didn't go to the movies."
"Where did you go?"
"I went to my friends house instead, and that's when I proceed to have lustful thoughts."
"Were the lustful thoughts about your friend?"
"Yes father. I thought about his body and I wanted to touch him, I wanted him to touch me." My hands were shaking and my heart wouldn't stop pounding.
The father shifted on the other side of the screen. "My son." His voice had changed, instead of low and comforting it was now strong and stern. "In other circumstances I would tell you that lustful thoughts are normal as long as you don't act upon them, but lustful thoughts such as the ones you've told me about are not normal. You must cease them at once or face an eternity in hell."
"Why?" My voice was so small and shaky
"My son, you shouldn't ask why, you should already know. A lustful thought about another man is one of the most sinful of all the sins."
"But I don’t have thoughts like that about anyone else."
The father stood up on his side of the screen and left the confessional. I jumped as my door opened and the father looked down at me with anger clearly etched into his normally welcoming face. "Gerard Way, I should have known that something like this would come from you. Ever since your mother brought you and your brother here you two have resisted the loving embrace of God, The Son, and The Holy Spirit." I trembled under his gaze. "Heathens the both of you."
A scream nearly escaped my throat when the father grasped the collar of my shirt and pulled me to my feet. He didn't speak a word as he hauled me past the rest of the choir who waited to confess, only stopping to yank Mikey from their ranks. I could feel their eyes on us. Looking on with curiosity and burning holes into my flesh. The father paused to open the heavy oak doors that lead out of the chapel and threw us onto the wet steps below. "You are not welcome here anymore."
The light mist from earlier had broken out into fat droplets of cold rain that soaked my hair almost instantly and plastered it to my face and neck. I gave a sob and looked up at my equally sodden brother from where I collapsed on the stone steps.
"I'm so sorry Mikey."
"Don't be. If he won't accept us we'll find someone who will."
He helped me up and we began our long walk home as a clap of thunder sounded overhead.
Frank diverted his eyes from the tv and leaned across my lap to reach for the remote on the other side of the couch. I stared at the smooth expanse of his back, a few muscles flexing under his thin, grey t-shirt as he moved, and I couldn’t help but imagine what his skin would feel like under my fingers. With a grunt Frank reached the remote and sat up before he changed the tv over to the guide channel. 4:23.
“Shit, I’ve got to go. If I’m late for church momma will kill me.”
“Church on a Thursday?” Frank asked looking thoroughly confused.
I paused while wrapping my scarf around my neck. “Well not technically church, choir practice.” Frank got up to see me to the door and I zipped up my jacket. “Momma signed me and Mikey up for the choir ‘cause she thinks it’ll be good for us.”
“Is it doing any good?”
“No.”
Frank smiled and pulled me into a hug. His hair smelled like soap and his mom’s cookies. “See you tomorrow then Gee.”
“Alright Frankie.”
The wind had kicked up quite a bit while I had been at Frank’s house, and a lazy mist that didn’t really deserve to be called rain dampened my hair. As I walked I tried to figure out the strange feeling I had that entire afternoon. It was a new feeling, an urgent feeling that made me want to squirm and educed strange thoughts of naked skin and the scent of Frank’s clothes and hair. So many times I had wanted to undress him, to touch him and let him touch me. I shook my head hard and pushed all my thoughts to the back of my mind as I climbed the front porch steps and entered my house.
Momma was dashing around the living room, looking for her purse and trying to put her coat on at the same time. “Mikey…Mikey, have you seen my purse.”
“It’s right here momma,” my little brother answered as he emerged from the kitchen and handed it to her.
“Thank you baby.” She fished her keys out of her purse and spotted me at the front door. “Oh Gerard, there you are. I was starting to get worried.”
“I promised I wouldn’t be late.”
“And you kept your promise. Now the both of you get in the car let’s go.”
Momma put on the windshield wipers even though she didn’t really need them. They made an annoying squeaking sound on every upward motion and Mikey turned on the radio to try and drown it out. The song sucked about as much as the weather.
“How was the movie?”
“What?”
“The movie you went to see with Frank.”
I stutter a little before throwing out, “It was good,” and went back to staring out the window. Frank and I never went to see a movie, we just went to Frank’s house and watched tv. I don’t really know why I lied to my mother, but I did and I felt a little guilty about it. I shouldn’t have been really, it wasn’t a big lie. Momma dropped Mikey and I off at the church’s front steps and wished us luck before she drove off to the beauty parlor.
I kind of hate choir, my throat always hurts afterwards because the director makes me sing in the highest voice that I can manage and we have to line up and confess when we’re done. I can never remember all my sins and when I do they never really seem like real sins. I guess that’s why I lied to my mother, so I could have something to confess in case I couldn’t remember anything else.
Once everyone was present and accounted for we lined up on the risers and the director, a little old lady with black streaks in her graying hair and a gaudy fake pearl necklace named Mrs. Riley, passed out the song books. We were learning a new song that day, and when I say new I mean it had different lyrics, the organ music sounded exactly the same as the song before that, and the song before that, and the song before that. Poor Mrs. Riley always tries to mix it up a bit by giving the girls and boys different parts and layering the vocals, but it still sounds like all the other songs we’ve sung. I tune out through most of it, which is pretty easy to do given the monotony, and begin to finish the thoughts that I was having as I walked home from Frank’s house. By the time Mrs. Riley was happy with the choir’s performance I had come to a conclusion that left a considerable knot in my stomach.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
"What is your sin my son?"
I took a deep breath and crossed myself. "I lied to my mother and had lustful thoughts."
"What was your lie?"
"She asked me where I was going after school. I told her that I was going to the movies with a friend of mine. I didn't go to the movies."
"Where did you go?"
"I went to my friends house instead, and that's when I proceed to have lustful thoughts."
"Were the lustful thoughts about your friend?"
"Yes father. I thought about his body and I wanted to touch him, I wanted him to touch me." My hands were shaking and my heart wouldn't stop pounding.
The father shifted on the other side of the screen. "My son." His voice had changed, instead of low and comforting it was now strong and stern. "In other circumstances I would tell you that lustful thoughts are normal as long as you don't act upon them, but lustful thoughts such as the ones you've told me about are not normal. You must cease them at once or face an eternity in hell."
"Why?" My voice was so small and shaky
"My son, you shouldn't ask why, you should already know. A lustful thought about another man is one of the most sinful of all the sins."
"But I don’t have thoughts like that about anyone else."
The father stood up on his side of the screen and left the confessional. I jumped as my door opened and the father looked down at me with anger clearly etched into his normally welcoming face. "Gerard Way, I should have known that something like this would come from you. Ever since your mother brought you and your brother here you two have resisted the loving embrace of God, The Son, and The Holy Spirit." I trembled under his gaze. "Heathens the both of you."
A scream nearly escaped my throat when the father grasped the collar of my shirt and pulled me to my feet. He didn't speak a word as he hauled me past the rest of the choir who waited to confess, only stopping to yank Mikey from their ranks. I could feel their eyes on us. Looking on with curiosity and burning holes into my flesh. The father paused to open the heavy oak doors that lead out of the chapel and threw us onto the wet steps below. "You are not welcome here anymore."
The light mist from earlier had broken out into fat droplets of cold rain that soaked my hair almost instantly and plastered it to my face and neck. I gave a sob and looked up at my equally sodden brother from where I collapsed on the stone steps.
"I'm so sorry Mikey."
"Don't be. If he won't accept us we'll find someone who will."
He helped me up and we began our long walk home as a clap of thunder sounded overhead.
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