Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Seven Days of Christmas
Disclaimer: i only own the storyline. that's all.
Gerard hadn’t been able to get Mikey’s words out of his head all night. He needed protecting, it had never occurred to him before that he didn’t have to be the strong one, or that he had already become that. The death of his grandmother had given him a kind of fear of loss, which in turn had brought out an overprotective streak in him that made him overlook simple details. For example: you can’t expect someone to stop doing something if you don’t tell them too.
In fact, it had been a sleepless and slightly surreal night for Gerard. He was used to the not sleeping part; after all, what was coffee for? There had been countless times he couldn’t sleep for having too much going round in his head. However, he wasn’t used to not having the words to express it. Every time he’d had an idea in his mind, the words had just flowed from his pen as lyrics without thought: it was usually the ideas that were the problem. But even though his mind was ready to explode, Gerard had spent most of the night sitting on a chair by his window with an open notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand, thinking and desperately trying to find phrases that just wouldn’t come.
When Gerard looked at the luminous alarm clock on the sleeping Mikey’s bedside table, realised it was half past five and that he had been staring out the window for hours, he gave it up as writer’s block and decided to go for a walk.
He dropped his notebook and pen on his bed and pulled his leather jacket on over the jeans and Iron Maiden t shirt he was still wearing from the day before. Pausing at Mikey’s bed on the way out, Gerard placed a tender kiss on his sleeping brother’s forehead. Smiling lovingly, he walked out of the door and locked it behind him.
The air outside was freezing. After all, it was December, but there was no wind and the world seemed to be still. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Gerard began to walk slowly towards the field where all the dressing rooms were stationed. Impulsively he decided to climb the hill next to the field. It wasn’t big or steep, and soon he ceased his aimless wandering, sitting down at the base of one of a small group of trees on the hill’s top.
Breathing deeply, Gerard gazed at the stars and tried to sort out his thoughts.
He had to tell Jared Leto to back off, and he needed to let go of Mikey, that much was clear.
Then there was the whole Ray and Frank thing. Gerard was used to them hugging and occasionally holding hands when they were in the tour van (back in the days before they had a coach), but that was normal for the band. And tickling wasn’t Ray’s usual style…
Moving on, there was The Umbrella Academy, his comic book that still needed to be completed.
And then there were small problems like ‘Did the motel have a washing machine?’ and ‘Where’s the nearest place to get coffee?’
These thoughts would have continued to swirl around in Gerard’s brain if he hadn’t been distracted by a light being switched on in someone’s far-off dressing room. His thoughts now changing to ‘Who else is crazy enough to be up this early? Might as well have a look, almost any company is better than none,’ Gerard headed back down the hill and in the vague direction of the lit dressing room.
Reaching it, he circled the building, looking for a band name sign on it. He found it by the window, illuminated by the inside light – 30 Seconds to Mars. Through the window a head was visible, just recognisable as Jared Leto’s. Gerard stopped and debated with himself whether or not to go in. eventually he decided to, and after running through things he was going to say in his mind, he silently opened the door and walked inside.
Jared was sitting on the sofa, contentedly engrossed in playing on his Nintendo DS, when he heard a soft creak coming from one of the chairs in the dressing room. Looking up, he got the shock of his life when he saw Gerard sat in the opposite chair, looking dark and foreboding.
“What the fuck!?” Jared cried, jumping violently. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
“…Through the door. And I’m sitting, thinking how to phrase what I’ve got to say to you.” Gerard’s voice was monotonic and emotionless.
“Yes, I can see that much. What I meant was 1) Why are you up so early? And more importantly, 2) Why are you here? And for God’s sake, man, didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock?”
“I’m an early riser and I don’t need much sleep. I’m guessing you’re the same because half past six in the morning isn’t when you’d usually expect people to be awake and playing on game consoles. Yes, I was taught how to knock, it’s really simple. And I already told you, I have something I need to say to you.” Gerard deadpanned, staring at the other man.
“Right, I see that snaking into people’s dressing rooms then making smart ass comments is normal for you,” Jared scowled. “Unless it’s more of your hilarious wit, you’d better say what you came to, huh?” he said, annoyed at being talked to like he was stupid, but curious about what Gerard had to say.
“Stay away from Mikey.” Gerard was still trying to keep his voice neutral, but some anger was creeping in. “He needs someone to love him, not screw him, and we both know that’s all you’re after. I swear; if I see you trying anything with him, I will kill you. He’s too good for you.”
“Oh, just how do you know that? Have you tried and tested him?” Jared retorted, deciding to see how much he could wind Gerard up.
“He’s my brother; I’ve spent enough time with him to know.” Gerard’s words were laced with venom.
“Whoa, no straight out denial? Do you actually fuck your brother?” Gerard didn’t respond with anything other than a glare.
“Well I’ll take that silence and the gorgeous face you’re giving me as confirmation that I’ve got the right idea.”
There was still no response.
Jared began to grin like the Cheshire Cat.
“You know, I said that to make you angry,” he almost laughed, “but it looks like I’ve hit jackpot! Sleeping with your younger brother? I definitely did not expect that! And whilst it’s kinda disturbing... That is hot.” Jared stood up, smirking, and walked over to Gerard’s chair, resting his hands on the armrests and leaning down so they were face to face. “I can’t believe that you can tell me not to meaninglessly fuck him when you do it yourself! Is that why you hate me? Because you’re afraid I’ll steal your little toy!?”
The next thing Jared knew he was lying on his back on the floor with his head throbbing. Gerard was standing over him, his hands clenched into fists. His usually pale skin was white with anger and Jared could swear his eyes had turned black.
“Don’t you ever fucking say that again.” Gerard spat. He drew his fist back, and before Jared could even try to defend himself, Gerard was kneeling over him and had punched him again. Grimacing, Jared licked his lip where it was bleeding. The taste of copper flooded his mouth.
“Happy now, vampire? Or would you like to drink my blood too?” he shot at Gerard. Snarling, Gerard tried to punch Jared again, but this time the older man was ready. Catching Gerard’s fist in his hand, he pulled Gerard off him and rolled them over so their positions were reversed and he was straddling Gerard, pinning the fuming vocalist’s wrists to the floor.
“Someone needs to learn to control their temper, huh?” he smirked, watching the flushed, seething Gerard panting from his exertions. “Has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you’re angry?”
He sighed in annoyance when Gerard still didn’t say anything. Hoping to get a reaction out of the younger man, but knowing it wasn’t the only reason he wanted to, he leaned down and kissed him hard on the mouth.
Gerard hadn’t meant to respond. He had meant to just continued to be held down there, humiliated and angrier than he had ever been in his life, and not even grace Jared with a response. But when the loathed man kissed him, that plan went out of the window. It was as if someone else was controlling his mouth, and he found himself kissing back.
~*~
Ryan Ross was, for one of the only times in his life, a bit afraid of his bandmates. Obviously he had been nervous when he met them, let’s face it, he’s a nervous guy. But scared: no.
However, cornered by his friends in the smoothie bar Brendon had insisted on them going to for lunch, he was definitely freaked out. Even Spencer, his best friend since childhood, seemed to have turned on him, practically dragging him out of the backstage area and into the streets of L.A.
Now Ryan wasn’t stupid. He knew that, despite many assurances otherwise, this seemingly harmless outing was in fact an interrogation. He had Fall Out Boy to thank for it being delayed for 15 hours; they had to leave after the two days of the actual Acoustic Christmas, so Pete Wentz had thrown one of his infamous parties to make up for it. Naturally as the two bands were firm friends, the Panic! members had to be there, and Ryan, Jon and Spencer had their hands full trying to control a drunken Brendon. So for a while, Ryan had been forgotten. It wouldn’t have lasted though. And now he found himself being studied over smoothies.
“Ryan.” Spencer started off. “Are you sure about him? Mikey, I mean. After, you know… Bill.” Ryan flinched at the name.
Bill, or William Beckett, had been Ryan’s first boyfriend. He was attractive, charming, a real gentleman, and everything Ryan could have ever wanted. But one day he started to drink. It all went wrong from then. He would come home drunk and shout at Ryan, hit him, and when he was done making the other man feel like the worst piece of shit alive, he would go out again.
Later Ryan would discover that he was going to Adam Siska, or more specifically, his bed. When Ryan had found out, it had torn him apart, and it was only with the support of his friends, particularly Spencer, that he was finally able to move on. However, the young man was still extremely fragile.
“Yes. I’m sure.” he said, shaking off the turgid slew of memories.
Jon leaned forward. “So anyway, I can’t help being curious. Why Mikey?”
“Uh… his smile?” Ryan offered.
Brendon raised an eyebrow.
“His smile? Okay. Anything else?”
“Not really.” Ryan muttered into his smoothie, well aware of how ridiculous he sounded. “Look guys, I hardly know him. I know next to nothing about the kind of person he is. I know his music, but not very well at all. It just happened, okay? He seems really nice, a real genuine guy, and his smile’s just so amazing. So…um…that’s it.” He finished, somewhat lamely. Spencer looked at him oddly.
“So you met him and were just attracted to him like that?”
“Yeah,” Ryan nodded.
Spencer gave him a fond grin.
“Then you, my friend,” he said, “have fallen in love.”
~*~
Gerard was disturbed. He had been disturbed all morning, and his bandmates hadn’t failed to notice how he was being extremely sensitive, lashing out at them and then immediately apologising, retreating to a corner and beating himself up about it. In the end he shut himself in his motel room, to the worry of Bob, Frank, Ray and especially Mikey.
He resurfaced a couple of hours later, looking a cross between worried, angry and sick with himself, to ask Mikey if they could talk. Mikey was only too happy to, and suggested they went for a walk. Gerard agreed, and the two brothers headed off to have a wander around in Sin City.
They settled in Starbucks, bought coffees, and took a window seat, Gerard with his back to the window and Mikey facing it. The older brother tried to express what had been bothering him.
“Mikey, I… this morning, uh… I…” he broke off, looking awkwardly away, and began to fiddle with his polystyrene cup. Mikey rested his hand reassuringly over his brother’s and smiled encouragingly. Gerard cleared his throat and tried again. “Uh, I went to see Jared like you said and … Fuck, I ended up making out with him, Mikey!”
Mikey was surprised, but he did a pretty decent job of hiding it.
“Okay, tell me what happened.”
“Long story short, I was up early, he was too. I told him to back off, got angry, punched him and then he kissed him and I kissed him back! But why? I hate him! Don’t I?”
“You know, Gee,” said Mikey, “You always say Jared’s such a bad guy, but he’s actually great. He does do commitment when he finds the right person; he just hasn’t at the moment. He might genuinely like you, and you might subconsciously know that, which is why you responded. I’m sure you don’t hate him; you’re just confused how you fell about him. Have you ever been with someone older than you anyway?”
Gerard searched his brain. “Uh… no. I was always the oldest.” He replied.
“Well, there you go. You’re pushing away any feeling for him that you might have because you think you can’t be in a relationship with an older person.” Mikey reasoned.
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to kiss him. I couldn’t help it, I just did it.” Gerard protested.
“At the risk of sounding clichéd, I think it was your mind that didn’t want to kiss him and your heart that did. Think about it, he’s handsome, a musician, very charismatic, everything you usually go for.” Gerard considered this for a minute.
“Huh. I don’t want you to be right but you probably are, as usual. You’ve given me something to think about anyway. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Mikey smiled. He hesitated for a second. “Actually, I have something to say too.
“What’s that?”
“Um… I think I’ve found someone. You know… special.” He blushed lightly, smiling into his coffee.
“Really? That’s great! Who?” Gerard was thrilled.
“Ryan Ross. The guitarist from Panic! At The Disco.”
“When did you meet him? How? Does he like you too? Actually, skip the questions. Tell me everything!” Gerard demanded childishly. Mikey chuckled at his brother’s enthusiasm.
“There’s not much to tell.” He smiled. “Jared introduced us yesterday. That’s why we were late. He’s young, I’d say around 20. He’s really nice and he’s funny. Oh, and he’s absolutely gorgeous.”
“I’m so happy! Hug!” Gerard babbled. He grabbed Mikey’s hand that had previously been resting on his own and pulled him up and into a tight hug. Mikey smiled happily, enjoying seeing this side of Gerard that so rarely surfaced.
“So,” said Gerard, breaking off after a minute. “I definitely have to meet this Mr Ryan Ross, and soon.”
Had either of them looked out of the window, they would have seen said Mr Ryan Ross standing on the pavement on the other side of the road, his best friend’s arm around him, his heart breaking as he watched the man he wanted to be with and an unknown blond man together.
~*~
Gerard and Mikey had only been gone for an hour or so, and Bob could already feel himself going insane. Frank and Ray were driving him up the wall. The tickling had started it off, and now Bob was well aware of how they were always touching, laughing, and smiling secretly when they thought he wasn’t looking. By the time the Way brothers had returned, he had made up his mind. Something had to be done.
“They’re obviously together, and it’s driving me fucking mad!” he complained. He had sent Ray and Frank off to annoy 30 Seconds to Mars and called an emergency meeting with Mikey and Gerard to see what action should be taken.
“It’s so cute that they’re finally got together though.” smiled Mikey. “They’ve been flirting constantly for as long as I can remember.”
Gerard nodded in fond agreement.
“That’s all very well.” said Bob. “But when are they planning to go official? I won’t be able to pretend I don’t know; I’m rubbish at that sort of thing.”
“Maybe we should try to, like, catch them out or something?” Gerard suggested.
“What, like a set up?” Bob questioned, warming to the idea.
“That’s good.” Mikey enthused. “We could stick them in situations alone together, then ‘accidentally’ burst in and catch them out!” The three men nodded and grinned, caught up in their idea.
“So what can we do?” asked Bob. They all searched their brains for any bright ideas. Gerard made a frustrated noise.
“They sure do know how to make lives difficult, don’t they? Ray’s the smart one and Frank’s our little prankster. Where does that leave us?” he sighed. Mikey elbowed him indignantly in the ribs.
“Hey!” he protested, pretending to be offended. “I’ve done a few pranks in my time too, you know.”
“Yeah, right. You’re too innocent for that, brother.” Gerard smirked. Mikey raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, really? Well, you remember that time when we ‘ran out’ of caffeinated coffee and you had an interview?” Mikey began. Gerard looked at him in disbelief.
“That was-?”
“And the time your make up went missing and you had to borrow Brian’s spare set and it was all runny and disgusting?”
“Did you do that?!” Gerard was growing increasingly alarmed.
“And the time you and Ray got locked in the restroom and his hair got caught in the door and it took half an hour to get it out because you had no idea what to do?”
Bob could feel himself becoming more and more impressed.
Just as Gerard could feel himself becoming more and more shocked.
“Fuck! I can’t believe that was you? I was so worried I was gonna give him a bald patch!”
Mikey was going to continue listing his sneaky tricks when Bob felt he should intervene.
“Okay guys. Gerard - not worth getting angry over. Mikey- very impressive, you have my respect. Any ideas we can use for now?”
“Uh, not really. Sorry.” Mikey apologized. Bob and Gerard almost visibly deflated in disappointment. Feeling guilty, Mikey tried to perk them back again. “Look, we’ll think of something. Think of all the situations we’ve stuck them in. We’ll think of something. Let’s brainstorm.”
When Ray and Frank returned, red faced and announcing that to join in the trend they had gone for walk too, the plan was in place. The main idea was: at every possible opportunity, stick Ray and Frank together, then find a way to walk in on them.
The planned opportunities were:
1.In their motel room in the morning
2.Get them to rewrite a guitar part together
3.Lock them in a bathroom and pretend the door got stuck
4.Leave them to it and hope that they do it by themselves.
It wasn’t exactly a master plan, but it was good enough for Bob, Gerard and Mikey. Swearing to secrecy and very proud of themselves, they continued as if the conversation had never happened.
~*~
Ryan was surrounded by Brendon and Jon (and their sympathy), and was crying on Spencer’s shoulder. Technically he wasn’t crying, but as he slumped on the motel room’s blue chequered sofa, he could feel the tears threatening to fall. ‘I should be used to this.’ He thought bitterly. ‘It’s always been me resting on Spence. Every time my Dad got worse, every time I got beaten up, every time I got teased for being gay, and then with Bill. Every time I’m in a relationship and it goes wrong. Maybe I should just give up liking people. I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be able to stand me.’
Spencer hated seeing his best friend like this. He knew Brendon and Jon felt the same, but not to this extent. Ryan didn’t deserve any of what he got. It was cruel fate that he got landed with the crappy boyfriend, and then as soon as he had repaired the hole smashed brutally in his heart it was torn back open by someone who was totally, blissfully oblivious to what they were doing.
Spencer knew Ryan was more than the wreck leaning on his shoulder. He was a clever, witty, funny, lovely guy. At least, he was before Bill. Now he was just starting to return to his original self, and Spencer was so proud of the other man for allowing himself to fall for someone else whilst he was still so fragile. Maybe he should have been more concerned. He was sure that Mikey was just friends with the blond man they had seen, but the delicate Ryan needed only the tiniest thing to knock him down, and what they had seen in the window of Starbucks had done it perfectly. He hugged Ryan close to him and the three friends all went about their individual ways of cheering him up.
An hour or so later, Ryan was back to normal and seeing sense. He apologised for overreacting and falling apart so easily, but he was still just a little broken inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beat’d by Michiko
Okay, there you go. Chapter 3. I’m actually quite pleased with how it came out, but please review and tell me what you think. Thank you so much to winnie_55, xImRadx and slashandburn for reviewing, you guys really made my day! Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 4 might be a while as I’m having a few problems with it, but please keep checking! (and whoever you are, I love you for reading this.) xxxx
Gerard hadn’t been able to get Mikey’s words out of his head all night. He needed protecting, it had never occurred to him before that he didn’t have to be the strong one, or that he had already become that. The death of his grandmother had given him a kind of fear of loss, which in turn had brought out an overprotective streak in him that made him overlook simple details. For example: you can’t expect someone to stop doing something if you don’t tell them too.
In fact, it had been a sleepless and slightly surreal night for Gerard. He was used to the not sleeping part; after all, what was coffee for? There had been countless times he couldn’t sleep for having too much going round in his head. However, he wasn’t used to not having the words to express it. Every time he’d had an idea in his mind, the words had just flowed from his pen as lyrics without thought: it was usually the ideas that were the problem. But even though his mind was ready to explode, Gerard had spent most of the night sitting on a chair by his window with an open notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand, thinking and desperately trying to find phrases that just wouldn’t come.
When Gerard looked at the luminous alarm clock on the sleeping Mikey’s bedside table, realised it was half past five and that he had been staring out the window for hours, he gave it up as writer’s block and decided to go for a walk.
He dropped his notebook and pen on his bed and pulled his leather jacket on over the jeans and Iron Maiden t shirt he was still wearing from the day before. Pausing at Mikey’s bed on the way out, Gerard placed a tender kiss on his sleeping brother’s forehead. Smiling lovingly, he walked out of the door and locked it behind him.
The air outside was freezing. After all, it was December, but there was no wind and the world seemed to be still. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Gerard began to walk slowly towards the field where all the dressing rooms were stationed. Impulsively he decided to climb the hill next to the field. It wasn’t big or steep, and soon he ceased his aimless wandering, sitting down at the base of one of a small group of trees on the hill’s top.
Breathing deeply, Gerard gazed at the stars and tried to sort out his thoughts.
He had to tell Jared Leto to back off, and he needed to let go of Mikey, that much was clear.
Then there was the whole Ray and Frank thing. Gerard was used to them hugging and occasionally holding hands when they were in the tour van (back in the days before they had a coach), but that was normal for the band. And tickling wasn’t Ray’s usual style…
Moving on, there was The Umbrella Academy, his comic book that still needed to be completed.
And then there were small problems like ‘Did the motel have a washing machine?’ and ‘Where’s the nearest place to get coffee?’
These thoughts would have continued to swirl around in Gerard’s brain if he hadn’t been distracted by a light being switched on in someone’s far-off dressing room. His thoughts now changing to ‘Who else is crazy enough to be up this early? Might as well have a look, almost any company is better than none,’ Gerard headed back down the hill and in the vague direction of the lit dressing room.
Reaching it, he circled the building, looking for a band name sign on it. He found it by the window, illuminated by the inside light – 30 Seconds to Mars. Through the window a head was visible, just recognisable as Jared Leto’s. Gerard stopped and debated with himself whether or not to go in. eventually he decided to, and after running through things he was going to say in his mind, he silently opened the door and walked inside.
Jared was sitting on the sofa, contentedly engrossed in playing on his Nintendo DS, when he heard a soft creak coming from one of the chairs in the dressing room. Looking up, he got the shock of his life when he saw Gerard sat in the opposite chair, looking dark and foreboding.
“What the fuck!?” Jared cried, jumping violently. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
“…Through the door. And I’m sitting, thinking how to phrase what I’ve got to say to you.” Gerard’s voice was monotonic and emotionless.
“Yes, I can see that much. What I meant was 1) Why are you up so early? And more importantly, 2) Why are you here? And for God’s sake, man, didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock?”
“I’m an early riser and I don’t need much sleep. I’m guessing you’re the same because half past six in the morning isn’t when you’d usually expect people to be awake and playing on game consoles. Yes, I was taught how to knock, it’s really simple. And I already told you, I have something I need to say to you.” Gerard deadpanned, staring at the other man.
“Right, I see that snaking into people’s dressing rooms then making smart ass comments is normal for you,” Jared scowled. “Unless it’s more of your hilarious wit, you’d better say what you came to, huh?” he said, annoyed at being talked to like he was stupid, but curious about what Gerard had to say.
“Stay away from Mikey.” Gerard was still trying to keep his voice neutral, but some anger was creeping in. “He needs someone to love him, not screw him, and we both know that’s all you’re after. I swear; if I see you trying anything with him, I will kill you. He’s too good for you.”
“Oh, just how do you know that? Have you tried and tested him?” Jared retorted, deciding to see how much he could wind Gerard up.
“He’s my brother; I’ve spent enough time with him to know.” Gerard’s words were laced with venom.
“Whoa, no straight out denial? Do you actually fuck your brother?” Gerard didn’t respond with anything other than a glare.
“Well I’ll take that silence and the gorgeous face you’re giving me as confirmation that I’ve got the right idea.”
There was still no response.
Jared began to grin like the Cheshire Cat.
“You know, I said that to make you angry,” he almost laughed, “but it looks like I’ve hit jackpot! Sleeping with your younger brother? I definitely did not expect that! And whilst it’s kinda disturbing... That is hot.” Jared stood up, smirking, and walked over to Gerard’s chair, resting his hands on the armrests and leaning down so they were face to face. “I can’t believe that you can tell me not to meaninglessly fuck him when you do it yourself! Is that why you hate me? Because you’re afraid I’ll steal your little toy!?”
The next thing Jared knew he was lying on his back on the floor with his head throbbing. Gerard was standing over him, his hands clenched into fists. His usually pale skin was white with anger and Jared could swear his eyes had turned black.
“Don’t you ever fucking say that again.” Gerard spat. He drew his fist back, and before Jared could even try to defend himself, Gerard was kneeling over him and had punched him again. Grimacing, Jared licked his lip where it was bleeding. The taste of copper flooded his mouth.
“Happy now, vampire? Or would you like to drink my blood too?” he shot at Gerard. Snarling, Gerard tried to punch Jared again, but this time the older man was ready. Catching Gerard’s fist in his hand, he pulled Gerard off him and rolled them over so their positions were reversed and he was straddling Gerard, pinning the fuming vocalist’s wrists to the floor.
“Someone needs to learn to control their temper, huh?” he smirked, watching the flushed, seething Gerard panting from his exertions. “Has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you’re angry?”
He sighed in annoyance when Gerard still didn’t say anything. Hoping to get a reaction out of the younger man, but knowing it wasn’t the only reason he wanted to, he leaned down and kissed him hard on the mouth.
Gerard hadn’t meant to respond. He had meant to just continued to be held down there, humiliated and angrier than he had ever been in his life, and not even grace Jared with a response. But when the loathed man kissed him, that plan went out of the window. It was as if someone else was controlling his mouth, and he found himself kissing back.
~*~
Ryan Ross was, for one of the only times in his life, a bit afraid of his bandmates. Obviously he had been nervous when he met them, let’s face it, he’s a nervous guy. But scared: no.
However, cornered by his friends in the smoothie bar Brendon had insisted on them going to for lunch, he was definitely freaked out. Even Spencer, his best friend since childhood, seemed to have turned on him, practically dragging him out of the backstage area and into the streets of L.A.
Now Ryan wasn’t stupid. He knew that, despite many assurances otherwise, this seemingly harmless outing was in fact an interrogation. He had Fall Out Boy to thank for it being delayed for 15 hours; they had to leave after the two days of the actual Acoustic Christmas, so Pete Wentz had thrown one of his infamous parties to make up for it. Naturally as the two bands were firm friends, the Panic! members had to be there, and Ryan, Jon and Spencer had their hands full trying to control a drunken Brendon. So for a while, Ryan had been forgotten. It wouldn’t have lasted though. And now he found himself being studied over smoothies.
“Ryan.” Spencer started off. “Are you sure about him? Mikey, I mean. After, you know… Bill.” Ryan flinched at the name.
Bill, or William Beckett, had been Ryan’s first boyfriend. He was attractive, charming, a real gentleman, and everything Ryan could have ever wanted. But one day he started to drink. It all went wrong from then. He would come home drunk and shout at Ryan, hit him, and when he was done making the other man feel like the worst piece of shit alive, he would go out again.
Later Ryan would discover that he was going to Adam Siska, or more specifically, his bed. When Ryan had found out, it had torn him apart, and it was only with the support of his friends, particularly Spencer, that he was finally able to move on. However, the young man was still extremely fragile.
“Yes. I’m sure.” he said, shaking off the turgid slew of memories.
Jon leaned forward. “So anyway, I can’t help being curious. Why Mikey?”
“Uh… his smile?” Ryan offered.
Brendon raised an eyebrow.
“His smile? Okay. Anything else?”
“Not really.” Ryan muttered into his smoothie, well aware of how ridiculous he sounded. “Look guys, I hardly know him. I know next to nothing about the kind of person he is. I know his music, but not very well at all. It just happened, okay? He seems really nice, a real genuine guy, and his smile’s just so amazing. So…um…that’s it.” He finished, somewhat lamely. Spencer looked at him oddly.
“So you met him and were just attracted to him like that?”
“Yeah,” Ryan nodded.
Spencer gave him a fond grin.
“Then you, my friend,” he said, “have fallen in love.”
~*~
Gerard was disturbed. He had been disturbed all morning, and his bandmates hadn’t failed to notice how he was being extremely sensitive, lashing out at them and then immediately apologising, retreating to a corner and beating himself up about it. In the end he shut himself in his motel room, to the worry of Bob, Frank, Ray and especially Mikey.
He resurfaced a couple of hours later, looking a cross between worried, angry and sick with himself, to ask Mikey if they could talk. Mikey was only too happy to, and suggested they went for a walk. Gerard agreed, and the two brothers headed off to have a wander around in Sin City.
They settled in Starbucks, bought coffees, and took a window seat, Gerard with his back to the window and Mikey facing it. The older brother tried to express what had been bothering him.
“Mikey, I… this morning, uh… I…” he broke off, looking awkwardly away, and began to fiddle with his polystyrene cup. Mikey rested his hand reassuringly over his brother’s and smiled encouragingly. Gerard cleared his throat and tried again. “Uh, I went to see Jared like you said and … Fuck, I ended up making out with him, Mikey!”
Mikey was surprised, but he did a pretty decent job of hiding it.
“Okay, tell me what happened.”
“Long story short, I was up early, he was too. I told him to back off, got angry, punched him and then he kissed him and I kissed him back! But why? I hate him! Don’t I?”
“You know, Gee,” said Mikey, “You always say Jared’s such a bad guy, but he’s actually great. He does do commitment when he finds the right person; he just hasn’t at the moment. He might genuinely like you, and you might subconsciously know that, which is why you responded. I’m sure you don’t hate him; you’re just confused how you fell about him. Have you ever been with someone older than you anyway?”
Gerard searched his brain. “Uh… no. I was always the oldest.” He replied.
“Well, there you go. You’re pushing away any feeling for him that you might have because you think you can’t be in a relationship with an older person.” Mikey reasoned.
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to kiss him. I couldn’t help it, I just did it.” Gerard protested.
“At the risk of sounding clichéd, I think it was your mind that didn’t want to kiss him and your heart that did. Think about it, he’s handsome, a musician, very charismatic, everything you usually go for.” Gerard considered this for a minute.
“Huh. I don’t want you to be right but you probably are, as usual. You’ve given me something to think about anyway. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Mikey smiled. He hesitated for a second. “Actually, I have something to say too.
“What’s that?”
“Um… I think I’ve found someone. You know… special.” He blushed lightly, smiling into his coffee.
“Really? That’s great! Who?” Gerard was thrilled.
“Ryan Ross. The guitarist from Panic! At The Disco.”
“When did you meet him? How? Does he like you too? Actually, skip the questions. Tell me everything!” Gerard demanded childishly. Mikey chuckled at his brother’s enthusiasm.
“There’s not much to tell.” He smiled. “Jared introduced us yesterday. That’s why we were late. He’s young, I’d say around 20. He’s really nice and he’s funny. Oh, and he’s absolutely gorgeous.”
“I’m so happy! Hug!” Gerard babbled. He grabbed Mikey’s hand that had previously been resting on his own and pulled him up and into a tight hug. Mikey smiled happily, enjoying seeing this side of Gerard that so rarely surfaced.
“So,” said Gerard, breaking off after a minute. “I definitely have to meet this Mr Ryan Ross, and soon.”
Had either of them looked out of the window, they would have seen said Mr Ryan Ross standing on the pavement on the other side of the road, his best friend’s arm around him, his heart breaking as he watched the man he wanted to be with and an unknown blond man together.
~*~
Gerard and Mikey had only been gone for an hour or so, and Bob could already feel himself going insane. Frank and Ray were driving him up the wall. The tickling had started it off, and now Bob was well aware of how they were always touching, laughing, and smiling secretly when they thought he wasn’t looking. By the time the Way brothers had returned, he had made up his mind. Something had to be done.
“They’re obviously together, and it’s driving me fucking mad!” he complained. He had sent Ray and Frank off to annoy 30 Seconds to Mars and called an emergency meeting with Mikey and Gerard to see what action should be taken.
“It’s so cute that they’re finally got together though.” smiled Mikey. “They’ve been flirting constantly for as long as I can remember.”
Gerard nodded in fond agreement.
“That’s all very well.” said Bob. “But when are they planning to go official? I won’t be able to pretend I don’t know; I’m rubbish at that sort of thing.”
“Maybe we should try to, like, catch them out or something?” Gerard suggested.
“What, like a set up?” Bob questioned, warming to the idea.
“That’s good.” Mikey enthused. “We could stick them in situations alone together, then ‘accidentally’ burst in and catch them out!” The three men nodded and grinned, caught up in their idea.
“So what can we do?” asked Bob. They all searched their brains for any bright ideas. Gerard made a frustrated noise.
“They sure do know how to make lives difficult, don’t they? Ray’s the smart one and Frank’s our little prankster. Where does that leave us?” he sighed. Mikey elbowed him indignantly in the ribs.
“Hey!” he protested, pretending to be offended. “I’ve done a few pranks in my time too, you know.”
“Yeah, right. You’re too innocent for that, brother.” Gerard smirked. Mikey raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, really? Well, you remember that time when we ‘ran out’ of caffeinated coffee and you had an interview?” Mikey began. Gerard looked at him in disbelief.
“That was-?”
“And the time your make up went missing and you had to borrow Brian’s spare set and it was all runny and disgusting?”
“Did you do that?!” Gerard was growing increasingly alarmed.
“And the time you and Ray got locked in the restroom and his hair got caught in the door and it took half an hour to get it out because you had no idea what to do?”
Bob could feel himself becoming more and more impressed.
Just as Gerard could feel himself becoming more and more shocked.
“Fuck! I can’t believe that was you? I was so worried I was gonna give him a bald patch!”
Mikey was going to continue listing his sneaky tricks when Bob felt he should intervene.
“Okay guys. Gerard - not worth getting angry over. Mikey- very impressive, you have my respect. Any ideas we can use for now?”
“Uh, not really. Sorry.” Mikey apologized. Bob and Gerard almost visibly deflated in disappointment. Feeling guilty, Mikey tried to perk them back again. “Look, we’ll think of something. Think of all the situations we’ve stuck them in. We’ll think of something. Let’s brainstorm.”
When Ray and Frank returned, red faced and announcing that to join in the trend they had gone for walk too, the plan was in place. The main idea was: at every possible opportunity, stick Ray and Frank together, then find a way to walk in on them.
The planned opportunities were:
1.In their motel room in the morning
2.Get them to rewrite a guitar part together
3.Lock them in a bathroom and pretend the door got stuck
4.Leave them to it and hope that they do it by themselves.
It wasn’t exactly a master plan, but it was good enough for Bob, Gerard and Mikey. Swearing to secrecy and very proud of themselves, they continued as if the conversation had never happened.
~*~
Ryan was surrounded by Brendon and Jon (and their sympathy), and was crying on Spencer’s shoulder. Technically he wasn’t crying, but as he slumped on the motel room’s blue chequered sofa, he could feel the tears threatening to fall. ‘I should be used to this.’ He thought bitterly. ‘It’s always been me resting on Spence. Every time my Dad got worse, every time I got beaten up, every time I got teased for being gay, and then with Bill. Every time I’m in a relationship and it goes wrong. Maybe I should just give up liking people. I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be able to stand me.’
Spencer hated seeing his best friend like this. He knew Brendon and Jon felt the same, but not to this extent. Ryan didn’t deserve any of what he got. It was cruel fate that he got landed with the crappy boyfriend, and then as soon as he had repaired the hole smashed brutally in his heart it was torn back open by someone who was totally, blissfully oblivious to what they were doing.
Spencer knew Ryan was more than the wreck leaning on his shoulder. He was a clever, witty, funny, lovely guy. At least, he was before Bill. Now he was just starting to return to his original self, and Spencer was so proud of the other man for allowing himself to fall for someone else whilst he was still so fragile. Maybe he should have been more concerned. He was sure that Mikey was just friends with the blond man they had seen, but the delicate Ryan needed only the tiniest thing to knock him down, and what they had seen in the window of Starbucks had done it perfectly. He hugged Ryan close to him and the three friends all went about their individual ways of cheering him up.
An hour or so later, Ryan was back to normal and seeing sense. He apologised for overreacting and falling apart so easily, but he was still just a little broken inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beat’d by Michiko
Okay, there you go. Chapter 3. I’m actually quite pleased with how it came out, but please review and tell me what you think. Thank you so much to winnie_55, xImRadx and slashandburn for reviewing, you guys really made my day! Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 4 might be a while as I’m having a few problems with it, but please keep checking! (and whoever you are, I love you for reading this.) xxxx
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