Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > To The End
The Best Way To Make It Through With Hearts And Wrists Intact...
3 reviewsGee tries to "cut" love out of his life.
0Unrated
Heeeeyyyy!!! Thanks for everyone that gave me the push I needed to write this next chapter I really apreiciate it and was surprised to see the number of people that spoke up. Thank you all so much. I finally updated so go enjoy. :)
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I know a person shouldn’t be so upset about not seeing someone… but I couldn’t help it. Call me weak, maybe I was, but seeing him was worse than not seeing him. It did things to me, made me someone I never wanted to be. So here I was doing something awful, and trying to justify it by telling myself “I’m not that kind of person”. Though it was becoming less and less convincing as more and more blood was drawn.
Frank Iero, made me “That kind of person”. Now I see why everyone was so afraid of him. He really can hurt you. I never thought I’d be a cutter. Never until now. However my thoughts and sad excuse of a release for pain were both interrupted by my little brothers calls and I dropped the bloody razor that I had so carefully pulled from my shaver in the garbage below me. Dammit!
“What Mikey!? It’s twelve at night! What could you possibly need in here?
“Oh I dunno… maybe the toilet so I can pee!” Mikey yelled back. “I don’t know if you know this, but that’s what the toilet is in this room for!”
I rolled my eyes and hurriedly cleaned up the blood exiting the room.
“There! Go pee!” My arm was thankfully hidden behind an old wrist band I had found and now wore every day.
This was night three of my bloody self harming escapades.
It was nearing the end of July. One more month and then summer was over. Then I’d have to go back to school, where everything sucked and no one liked me and I’d have to see him. again. Senior year was supposed to be the best year of your entire school career, not only would mine suck, but it would be the worst year so far.
Thoughts like these made me wanna just go back into the bathroom and do it all over again. However my annoying little brother was in there, why didn’t Mom and Dad just take him on that stupid trip with them. I wouldn’t mind being alone.
Nothing mattered to me anymore, well almost nothing. Mikey still had his place, but only Mikey. Parents weren’t around enough, school was always a nightmare, and even drawing didn’t hold much of any interest to me these days and that’s a big deal, considering that’s what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.
Despite all my usual bad luck I always tried to remain a positive kinda person. I’d look to the future and see myself as hoped I’d be one day, a successful artist with a lot going for me. Now when I look to the future I see loneliness and sorrow. Regretful tears of my days spent with the one who was slowly killing me. I had a reason to wake up in the morning, now I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t wake up at all.
I layed in my bed and pondered on about such things until I eventually just fell asleep.
The sun shined annoyingly at me as I got up. The clock that I had stared at countless nights trying to sleep read 11:30 am. I had thoughts of just going back to sleep until I heard a loud. “Eww!” coming from the bathroom down the hall. Shit, did I leave evidence? I was being so careful.
“Gee! Did you have your period in here or something? There’s blood on the side of the sink!”
I freaked. I had forgotten I guess to clean off the side of the cabinet our sink was in. Maybe I wasn’t being careful enough. I guess when I dropped the razor it hit the side of the counter before it went in. Quickly, I tried to think up an excuse.
“Oh sorry Mikey, I cut my leg yesterday and I was trying to get it up by the faucet to rinse it off.
Guess I thought I cleaned everything up.”
He thankfully believed it and cleaned it off exiting the room. Guess I just have to think of everything next time.
I was getting away with my bad habit rather well. It always made me feel better for some reason and I never left any clues. It had been about a week and a half now and I’d probably need to be buying a larger wrist band soon. I never wanted anyone to find out and no one ever did, except for tonight. It was around eleven at night now and I, like usual headed towards the bathroom. I never went deep enough to actually hurt myself, so when I did by mistake tonight I was scared. There was so much blood and some pain as well. What had I done, all I thought was that I was probably going to die tonight, and I’d never see Frank or Mikey again. Not to long after I’d had those thoughts I passed out on the bathroom floor, the razor slipping from my fingers.
Mikey knocked on the door only to try and use the bathroom. He had said Gerard was using the bathroom more than usual lately. Gee just said he had a stomach virus. When Mikey continued knocking and didn’t get a response however, he got worried.
“Gerard!?” he called through the door. “Gerard you okay in there!?” more silence and more worry.
Mikey grabbed his student ID from his wallet and slid it between the wall and the door opening it and was shocked to death to see what sight greeted him. “Fucking shit!” He yelled running to his brother’s side.
“Blood? Why is there so much blood?” Mikey thought worriedly with widened eyes. Then he noticed the razor on the floor, which led him to look at Gerard’s wrists.
“Fuck… but… you would never do something like this! You’re not like this!!”
At first all he could do was yell but then common sense came back and he ran out of the bathroom and dialed 911. Once he was done with the call he ran back and just sat with his brother crying so hard he thought he’d dry up after it all and waited as the paramedics rushed in to carry Gerard away. Mikey didn’t understand and couldn’t even really believe what had actually just happen.
“But Why? That’s so not like him…Gerard was upset but not that upset. How could I not have noticed? Oh shit the blood on the sink, I should have asked him I should have done more. What if he dies!? I shouldn’t have let this happen! I’m so fucking stupid!”
He mentally lectured himself just sitting on the bathroom floor in the very same spot he had been waiting with his brother for the paramedics.
He hadn’t moved for about an hour feeling frozen. His body wouldn’t let him move, his mind not registering anything and still the incident replayed over and over in his head until finally he knew what he had to do, Mikey had to make a call.
Blindly he searched for Gerard’s cell phone with whatever mind power he had and scrolled until he found the number he wanted, pushed send and waited for the familiar voice to pick up. Any other time Frank would have ignored the call like he had been doing for the past month or so, but for some unknown reason he pushed talk.
“Uhm… hey…” he said kinda nervous to be talking to “Gerard” again.
“Frank?” Mikey began. “It’s Mikey, I know you two have shit between you, but this is getting ridiculous. Gerard is in the hospital right now and it’s your fucking fault. So I suggest you get over yourself and then get over my house. You hear me Iero!? I don’t care who the hell you think you are in school. See you in five minutes!”
Mikey yelled into the phone never even giving Frank time to reply and never actually being this angry before in his life, and Mikey thought he liked Frank.
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So sad... I love creating drama but I hate living it. lol. So after this there finally gonna admit they love each other and then I can finally start writing some FRERARD!!!! Yay!!! Im so excited lol. Comment.
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I know a person shouldn’t be so upset about not seeing someone… but I couldn’t help it. Call me weak, maybe I was, but seeing him was worse than not seeing him. It did things to me, made me someone I never wanted to be. So here I was doing something awful, and trying to justify it by telling myself “I’m not that kind of person”. Though it was becoming less and less convincing as more and more blood was drawn.
Frank Iero, made me “That kind of person”. Now I see why everyone was so afraid of him. He really can hurt you. I never thought I’d be a cutter. Never until now. However my thoughts and sad excuse of a release for pain were both interrupted by my little brothers calls and I dropped the bloody razor that I had so carefully pulled from my shaver in the garbage below me. Dammit!
“What Mikey!? It’s twelve at night! What could you possibly need in here?
“Oh I dunno… maybe the toilet so I can pee!” Mikey yelled back. “I don’t know if you know this, but that’s what the toilet is in this room for!”
I rolled my eyes and hurriedly cleaned up the blood exiting the room.
“There! Go pee!” My arm was thankfully hidden behind an old wrist band I had found and now wore every day.
This was night three of my bloody self harming escapades.
It was nearing the end of July. One more month and then summer was over. Then I’d have to go back to school, where everything sucked and no one liked me and I’d have to see him. again. Senior year was supposed to be the best year of your entire school career, not only would mine suck, but it would be the worst year so far.
Thoughts like these made me wanna just go back into the bathroom and do it all over again. However my annoying little brother was in there, why didn’t Mom and Dad just take him on that stupid trip with them. I wouldn’t mind being alone.
Nothing mattered to me anymore, well almost nothing. Mikey still had his place, but only Mikey. Parents weren’t around enough, school was always a nightmare, and even drawing didn’t hold much of any interest to me these days and that’s a big deal, considering that’s what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.
Despite all my usual bad luck I always tried to remain a positive kinda person. I’d look to the future and see myself as hoped I’d be one day, a successful artist with a lot going for me. Now when I look to the future I see loneliness and sorrow. Regretful tears of my days spent with the one who was slowly killing me. I had a reason to wake up in the morning, now I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t wake up at all.
I layed in my bed and pondered on about such things until I eventually just fell asleep.
The sun shined annoyingly at me as I got up. The clock that I had stared at countless nights trying to sleep read 11:30 am. I had thoughts of just going back to sleep until I heard a loud. “Eww!” coming from the bathroom down the hall. Shit, did I leave evidence? I was being so careful.
“Gee! Did you have your period in here or something? There’s blood on the side of the sink!”
I freaked. I had forgotten I guess to clean off the side of the cabinet our sink was in. Maybe I wasn’t being careful enough. I guess when I dropped the razor it hit the side of the counter before it went in. Quickly, I tried to think up an excuse.
“Oh sorry Mikey, I cut my leg yesterday and I was trying to get it up by the faucet to rinse it off.
Guess I thought I cleaned everything up.”
He thankfully believed it and cleaned it off exiting the room. Guess I just have to think of everything next time.
I was getting away with my bad habit rather well. It always made me feel better for some reason and I never left any clues. It had been about a week and a half now and I’d probably need to be buying a larger wrist band soon. I never wanted anyone to find out and no one ever did, except for tonight. It was around eleven at night now and I, like usual headed towards the bathroom. I never went deep enough to actually hurt myself, so when I did by mistake tonight I was scared. There was so much blood and some pain as well. What had I done, all I thought was that I was probably going to die tonight, and I’d never see Frank or Mikey again. Not to long after I’d had those thoughts I passed out on the bathroom floor, the razor slipping from my fingers.
Mikey knocked on the door only to try and use the bathroom. He had said Gerard was using the bathroom more than usual lately. Gee just said he had a stomach virus. When Mikey continued knocking and didn’t get a response however, he got worried.
“Gerard!?” he called through the door. “Gerard you okay in there!?” more silence and more worry.
Mikey grabbed his student ID from his wallet and slid it between the wall and the door opening it and was shocked to death to see what sight greeted him. “Fucking shit!” He yelled running to his brother’s side.
“Blood? Why is there so much blood?” Mikey thought worriedly with widened eyes. Then he noticed the razor on the floor, which led him to look at Gerard’s wrists.
“Fuck… but… you would never do something like this! You’re not like this!!”
At first all he could do was yell but then common sense came back and he ran out of the bathroom and dialed 911. Once he was done with the call he ran back and just sat with his brother crying so hard he thought he’d dry up after it all and waited as the paramedics rushed in to carry Gerard away. Mikey didn’t understand and couldn’t even really believe what had actually just happen.
“But Why? That’s so not like him…Gerard was upset but not that upset. How could I not have noticed? Oh shit the blood on the sink, I should have asked him I should have done more. What if he dies!? I shouldn’t have let this happen! I’m so fucking stupid!”
He mentally lectured himself just sitting on the bathroom floor in the very same spot he had been waiting with his brother for the paramedics.
He hadn’t moved for about an hour feeling frozen. His body wouldn’t let him move, his mind not registering anything and still the incident replayed over and over in his head until finally he knew what he had to do, Mikey had to make a call.
Blindly he searched for Gerard’s cell phone with whatever mind power he had and scrolled until he found the number he wanted, pushed send and waited for the familiar voice to pick up. Any other time Frank would have ignored the call like he had been doing for the past month or so, but for some unknown reason he pushed talk.
“Uhm… hey…” he said kinda nervous to be talking to “Gerard” again.
“Frank?” Mikey began. “It’s Mikey, I know you two have shit between you, but this is getting ridiculous. Gerard is in the hospital right now and it’s your fucking fault. So I suggest you get over yourself and then get over my house. You hear me Iero!? I don’t care who the hell you think you are in school. See you in five minutes!”
Mikey yelled into the phone never even giving Frank time to reply and never actually being this angry before in his life, and Mikey thought he liked Frank.
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So sad... I love creating drama but I hate living it. lol. So after this there finally gonna admit they love each other and then I can finally start writing some FRERARD!!!! Yay!!! Im so excited lol. Comment.
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