Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A Perfect Hell
Makalya stretched as she rubbed the back of her neck. The clocks green numbers read ten thirty. The boys have been going to bed later seeing as how they stayed up to see the show. Looking out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Ryan wasn’t in bed anymore. She was actually surprised when he even came to bed. But around midnight he had laid down next to her.
She didn’t fight with him about it, she just pulled the covers over her head more and wished herself to sleep until she couldn’t feel him breathing next to her. Every part of her was in pain and she just wanted, in all honesty, to die.
Makayla took a double take as she saw the white envelope lying on the bed. Her name scribbled across it in the most beautiful handwriting and red ink. Wiping her eyes, she reached over and took it. She had the worst feelings in her stomach now and it wasn’t just morning sickness. Her heart was fluttering at just the thought of him what this letter could say.
Opening it, she crossed her legs Indian style and took a deep breath to prepare for what this letter was going to say. Closing her eyes and then re-opening them, she unfolded the piece of paper.
Good morning, Beautiful.
First of all I just want to apologize for the argument that we got into. I never meant to upset you by telling our friends the good news about our growing family. I was just so overwhelmed and excited by the thought of another human being created because we share our hearts with each other.
As I lay next to you all night I realized most of the reasons as to why you’re scared and why they are perfectly valid. When Aiden and Caleb were born and we spent hours having to sit in the hospital with Caleb, it scared me to death, as much as it did you. They’re my sons as well. But, I thought for a minute though that we would lose him or that we would never be able to have more children. I know you’re worried about the baby currently growing under your heart not being healthy. But, we shouldn’t go into this with negative thoughts. We should think with the most high hopes that we could possible imagine. We should have a little girl just like Bianca. Even though if we have another little boy, that everything would be perfect.
I know you’re probably still worried, I can’t blame you. But we have no other choices then to have this baby. Not because it’s what I want or because you don’t. It’s because we both know that we love it more than anything else already and we could never bare if we hurt something we made in love. You don’t want to have an abortion, your heart would ache forever. I know this because right now even the thought of losing this child is weighing your mind down and wishing you weren’t pregnant.
You can blame my not being home or our lack of what people consider normal stability, but we both know it’s not true. We’re happy. For the first time in a long time we’re both happy and content. You can’t tell me you aren’t, Makayla. You love me and I know it. You’re happy. I can see it in your eyes. So, don’t think that I don’t know you. I do. I’m your husband, father of your three children and your best friend. Just like you’re my wife, mother of my three children and my best friend.
Let’s not fight anymore, okay? Let’s talk about this like mature adults who love each other and will always stand by each other. I’m not going anywhere and I have faith that this child is going to be okay.
Come find me, my love if you want me to fix this. I love you, baby girl.
Xoxo,
Ryan.
Makayla smiled as she wiped her eyes. Her husband finally understood and that’s all she wanted. She wanted him to understand why she was so nervous about being pregnant. She didn’t hate her child and she wanted more than anything to be happy about this pregnancy.
Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she sat up and grabbed her shorts pulling them on and throwing on a hoodie. It was cold on the air conditioned bus. Very cold. She began to walk towards the front of the bus, past her sleeping children. Smiling, she saw her husband sitting on one of the couches, his lap top in his lap. One earplug in his ear. He was obviously working on new music while keeping an ear out for his sons or possibly for her.
She stopped as she walked into the bathroom to take care of business. Pulling down her shorts and underwear, she let out a gasp. She had gotten her period. Confused, she knew it wasn’t a miscarriage. She had one after the twins, and this definitely wasn’t a miscarriage. This was a regular menstrual period.
“Ryan…” Makayla frowned as she came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, baby…” He didn’t like the frown on her face. Everything was supposed to be okay now. “What’s wrong?” He moved the lap top to the side.
“I just got my period.” She frowned.
“But, I thought…the test…” He was beyond confused. She had taken a test and said it was positive.
“I guess it was a false positive…” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.” She frowned as she wrapped her arms around her husband and tucked herself in his lap.
“That’s okay, baby. Maybe it’s for the best.” He held onto her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. He wanted to question so many things, but for now it was just best to hold his wife and make her feel okay. There would be time for questions later.
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She didn’t fight with him about it, she just pulled the covers over her head more and wished herself to sleep until she couldn’t feel him breathing next to her. Every part of her was in pain and she just wanted, in all honesty, to die.
Makayla took a double take as she saw the white envelope lying on the bed. Her name scribbled across it in the most beautiful handwriting and red ink. Wiping her eyes, she reached over and took it. She had the worst feelings in her stomach now and it wasn’t just morning sickness. Her heart was fluttering at just the thought of him what this letter could say.
Opening it, she crossed her legs Indian style and took a deep breath to prepare for what this letter was going to say. Closing her eyes and then re-opening them, she unfolded the piece of paper.
Good morning, Beautiful.
First of all I just want to apologize for the argument that we got into. I never meant to upset you by telling our friends the good news about our growing family. I was just so overwhelmed and excited by the thought of another human being created because we share our hearts with each other.
As I lay next to you all night I realized most of the reasons as to why you’re scared and why they are perfectly valid. When Aiden and Caleb were born and we spent hours having to sit in the hospital with Caleb, it scared me to death, as much as it did you. They’re my sons as well. But, I thought for a minute though that we would lose him or that we would never be able to have more children. I know you’re worried about the baby currently growing under your heart not being healthy. But, we shouldn’t go into this with negative thoughts. We should think with the most high hopes that we could possible imagine. We should have a little girl just like Bianca. Even though if we have another little boy, that everything would be perfect.
I know you’re probably still worried, I can’t blame you. But we have no other choices then to have this baby. Not because it’s what I want or because you don’t. It’s because we both know that we love it more than anything else already and we could never bare if we hurt something we made in love. You don’t want to have an abortion, your heart would ache forever. I know this because right now even the thought of losing this child is weighing your mind down and wishing you weren’t pregnant.
You can blame my not being home or our lack of what people consider normal stability, but we both know it’s not true. We’re happy. For the first time in a long time we’re both happy and content. You can’t tell me you aren’t, Makayla. You love me and I know it. You’re happy. I can see it in your eyes. So, don’t think that I don’t know you. I do. I’m your husband, father of your three children and your best friend. Just like you’re my wife, mother of my three children and my best friend.
Let’s not fight anymore, okay? Let’s talk about this like mature adults who love each other and will always stand by each other. I’m not going anywhere and I have faith that this child is going to be okay.
Come find me, my love if you want me to fix this. I love you, baby girl.
Xoxo,
Ryan.
Makayla smiled as she wiped her eyes. Her husband finally understood and that’s all she wanted. She wanted him to understand why she was so nervous about being pregnant. She didn’t hate her child and she wanted more than anything to be happy about this pregnancy.
Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she sat up and grabbed her shorts pulling them on and throwing on a hoodie. It was cold on the air conditioned bus. Very cold. She began to walk towards the front of the bus, past her sleeping children. Smiling, she saw her husband sitting on one of the couches, his lap top in his lap. One earplug in his ear. He was obviously working on new music while keeping an ear out for his sons or possibly for her.
She stopped as she walked into the bathroom to take care of business. Pulling down her shorts and underwear, she let out a gasp. She had gotten her period. Confused, she knew it wasn’t a miscarriage. She had one after the twins, and this definitely wasn’t a miscarriage. This was a regular menstrual period.
“Ryan…” Makayla frowned as she came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, baby…” He didn’t like the frown on her face. Everything was supposed to be okay now. “What’s wrong?” He moved the lap top to the side.
“I just got my period.” She frowned.
“But, I thought…the test…” He was beyond confused. She had taken a test and said it was positive.
“I guess it was a false positive…” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.” She frowned as she wrapped her arms around her husband and tucked herself in his lap.
“That’s okay, baby. Maybe it’s for the best.” He held onto her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. He wanted to question so many things, but for now it was just best to hold his wife and make her feel okay. There would be time for questions later.
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