Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Trademark Dispute

Crime Time

by Clell65619 3 reviews

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2007-10-17 - Updated: 2007-10-18 - 942 words - Complete

A/N: I own none of this. Honest. Nope, not me. Also none of the other characters who appear. Everything and everyone belongs to someone else. Thus is the story of my life.

Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute.

Chapter 11 – Crime Time

“Wait. You’re Jean Grey aren’t you?”

“Yes I am.”

“Haven’t you died like 3 times?”

“Well, sort of, not really, well…. Yes.”

“In fact, aren’t you currently dead? Didn’t Magneto fry your brain with a magnetic pulse?”

“That sounds familiar.”

“If she’s Jean Grey, then you’re Scott Summers.”


“And haven’t you died like 3 times as well?”


“And didn’t you just die when the shuttle you were piloting broke up in orbit and dumped you into vacuum?”


“Well you two dead people go back to your bosses and tell them that Harry Potter said he doesn’t listen to pushy ghosts. Don’t make us go get the Bloody Baron!”

“Alright, alright. Pushy Witch.”

The pair reboarded the jet and it lifted off vertically.

Hermione looked at him and lifted one eyebrow.

“Best Girlfriend Ever?”

“Damned Straight!”


Riddle was in trouble. The situation has required he call in his Ladies Auxiliary Death Eaters, Emergency Back up Death Eaters, and the Hogwarts Branch of Future Death Eaters of Great Britain. The response was less than enthusiastic. Draco Malfoy had just shrugged and said “At least we get work credit.”

“My Death Eaters.”

“Here it comes.”

Riddle ignored Draco’s jibe. His time would come soon enough. “We must prepare for a threat to our way of life. We will be attacked by Muggles. We must stand firm and defend our selves.”

The sound of a pair of hands clapping echoed throughout the lair, every eye turned to the large bald man dressed all in white.

“Excellent start for a speech. Will you be fighting on the beachesfighting on the landing grounds, fightingin the fields and in the streets, fighting in the hills; never surrendering, even if, you were subjugated and starving?."

He strode forward. “I am Wilson Fisk, Chairman of the Organized Crime Division, I’m here to judge you you pathetic excuse for a wizard. You fail. That leaves only our Chief of the Science Division, and he is the hardest of us all.”

Riddle raised his wand “Avada Kedavra!” and nothing happened.

“Idiot.” Fisk spat. “I have faced your kind before, not to mention people of real power, dangerous blind men, and annoying fools who dress like arachnids.” He displayed an Amulet inlayed with dozens of runes. “Magical dampening field. You are a fool and unfit to rule. Make peace with what ever you hold high, you are doomed. I would end your life now, but the Guild has rules. Rules that even such as I must follow.”

“Kill Him!” screamed Riddle.

Goyle and Crabbe stepped forward, flexing their muscles and cracking their knuckles. Fisk just stared at them in open mouthed disbelief.

“Is that what you consider to be threatening?”

The Hinch Trolls rushed the larger man, who grabbed them both by their necks and snapped them with his hands, allowing their lifeless bodies to fall to the ground. “Pathetic. Treasure what time you have left Riddle. I would advise you not to run; you wouldn’t want to make our chief scientist angry.”


Harry and Hermione were lounging by the lake on another sunny Saturday. She had just finished performing a thorough check of his tonsils and was contemplating moving on to a hernia check when it became obvious that something was burrowing toward them. What ever it was, it pushed up a furrow in the ground like the world’s largest mole.. An exit hole was pushed up. Then a beach chair flew out of the hole, followed by a bucket full of ice and carrots. Then a 5 foot tall Gray Rabbit, wearing a 1910 style men’s swimming out fit.

“This ain’t Pismo Beach.” From a back pocket the Bunny drew a map. “I knew I should have turned left at Albuquerque.” He turned and spotted Harry and Hermione. Pulling a carrot from his other back pocket, he took a couple of bites from it and said “Ah, What’s up Doc?”

Harry removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No”.

“No what Doc?”

“I’m not doing this. Go away or else.”

“Or else what Doc? “ He took Harry’s head in his hands and delivered a loud wet kiss. “I only want to be friends Doc.”

Harry wiped his face. “You know of course, this means war.”

“Hey Doc, that’s my line.”

“Last Chance.”

“Doc, the League NEEDS you.”

“I warned you. You wouldn’t listen, but I warned you. Oh Ron!”

“Yeah Harry?”

“Look Ron, a bunny.”

Ron’s eyes went wide in delight, he swept the startled rabbit into his arms and began manhandling it. “A BUNNY! I always wanted a bunny. I will hug him, and kiss him, and pet him and feed him and I will call him George. Come on George It is time for me to hug you and kiss you and pet you and feed you and I will call you George, George.”

“HELP ME!” screamed the terrified rabbit. “FOR THE LOVE OF MEL BLANC, HELP ME!”

But it was too late.

“Well, that was cruel.”

“I know Hermione, but if we had fought with conventional weapons it would have taken years and cost millions of lives.”

“Oh I quite agree. It was still cruel. Funny, but cruel.” She smiled. “Now then, about that Hernia check…”

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