FicWad

Donna looked at Gerard. “Are you okay?” she asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
Oh my God. Her question caused my heart to skip a beat. Hell, he hadn’t seen a ghost but Helen had heard from one. Gerard looked over at me, his eyes pleading for me to do something, anything. I forced myself to speak. “My husband is overly tired. We haven’t slept much.” I plastered a smile on my face. Gerard was gripping my hand so tightly I was sure there would be bruising.
Donna was still staring at her son. “Gerard?”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Sorry, Ma. She’s right I’m just tired. That and I think I might be coming down with something.” He stood swaying slightly, “Be right back.” As he headed towards the bathroom I tried to flex my fingers to get the blood flowing again.
“He suddenly looked so sick” She worried. “Are you sure it’s a good idea if you two fly today?”
Fuck, getting him away from here was all-important. “I think he’ll be okay. Probably just a touch of the stomach flu.” I stood “Think I’ll go make sure he’s okay.”
When I got to the bathroom door I knocked softly. “Gerard”
He unlocked the door. “What the fuck is going on?” he whispered. He still looked pale, deathly pale.
I reached out and brushed the hair from his eyes, “I don’t know. I’m gonna go take to your mom and see what else Helen said. Splash some cold water on your face, take some deep breaths. Come out when you can, okay?”
His eyes looked so fucking haunted, “Okay” he said slowly. I turned to walk away. “Laura”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
Once more my heart skipped a beat. “I love you, too.”
Donna looked up as soon as I walk in, “Is he okay?”
“Just a touch of the stomach flu.” I sat back down. “Anyway, what was it you were saying about Helen?”
Donna smiled, “I don’t know if Gerard has ever mentioned Helen’s daughter, Merri. She and the boys practically grew up together. Poor girl had some mental problems. Several years back just up and disappeared. Helen was beside herself when it happened.”
Shit, I was a good actress, “Really? That’s terrible. She just left?”
Donna nodded, “One night she left the house and never returned. Helen went to the police but because of Merri’s past problems they just assumed she had disappeared of her own accord.”
“What did Helen think?” Man, I should get an Academy Award for this shit.
“She didn’t know what to think?”
“What about Merri’s father?”
“Oh, Helen and Carl were divorced years ago before Helen moved here. I don’t think he ever knew Merri was missing. Helen never had any contact with him after the divorce.”
“And now she’s contacted her mother?”
“Helen said she got a card in the mail from her saying she was coming home.”
My heart was racing. “Did she say when of where she’s been all this time?”
Helen was so excited I didn’t ask. She just said that Merri was coming home. I’m so happy for her.”
“I just wonder where she’s been.” I said innocently. “Wonder if Helen looked at the postmark on the card.” Holy shit wouldn’t that be an interesting postmark?
“I’m planning on visiting her tomorrow. It’s been far to long since I visited Helen. I think I’ll ask her then.”
I nodded.
Donna looked towards the direction Gerard had gone. When she was sure he wasn’t back yet she asked, “Why didn’t Gerard tell me about buying our old house?’
Shit, yet another story, “He was afraid you’d be upset. I think he really felt kinda silly caring so much about a house and he was afraid if you knew how he felt then you wouldn’t sell it and move like you wanted to do.”
Donna seemed to be mulling over my answer. “So why were you there alone yesterday?”
Well shit, here goes chapter two of the story, “Gerard was tired so I let him sleep. I tried but couldn’t so I went for a drive. Since I had some time I thought I’d take another look at the house.”
“Helen told me that’s how she met you.”
“She’s a nice woman.” I told her being quite honest. “But she seems so lonely.”
Donna nodded, “That will change with Merri coming home.”
That statement made me want to cry.
Gerard walked back into the room smiling. His eyes met mine. “Hon, would it be okay with you if I took a nap before we have to leave for the airport. I’m still not feeling all that great.”
“Only if I can take one too. My head is pounding.”
Donna nodded, “Both of you go lie down in the spare bedroom. I’ll wake you up when you need to leave.”
I stood and moved towards Gerard. He opened his arms to me. “Thanks Ma.”
We went into the spare bedroom and crossed to the bed. “What the fuck did she say?’ He asked as soon as we were lying down.
I told him everything his Mom had said. He closed his eyes, his body trembled slightly. “Gerard, Helen has just gone off the deep end. She’s retreated into a fantasy world and in it Merri comes home.”
“Fuck, Laura. If that’s the case then it’s my fault she’s like that. If she had known her daughter was dead all this time she wouldn’t be fantasizing that she coming home.”
I threw my arm around him and snuggled up to his chest. “Try not to think about it right now. Close your eyes and sleep. We’ll figure this out together.”
He leaned his head down and kissed the top of my head, “Thank you for being with me. I don’t think I could take anymore of this if I was alone.”
“You will never be alone as long as I have breath in my body.”

Gerard and I both fell asleep. Funny how emotional drain can do that to you. Donna woke us and we had just a few minutes to spare before we had to leave.
“Ma, let me know about Helen and Merri” Gerard said as we prepared to leave.
Donna nodded, “I will. Like I told Laura, I’m gonna go see Helen tomorrow. I’ll call you if I find out anything.”
He kissed his mom and so did I. As I glanced back at Belleville in the rear view mirror I felt a coldness in my heart.
“You okay?” he asked reaching over and taking my hand.
I was touched he was thinking about me when I knew how much this was messing him. “I’m fine. I’m newly married with a wonderful husband. Yeah, I’m all good.”
He looked away from traffic for just a moment, “Laura, what do we tell Ray?”
I had thought about this. “Should we tell him anything yet?”
Gerard shook his head slowly, “Fuck I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Helen just checked out of reality. I mean what else could it possibly be? Merri’s dead.”
I squeezed his hand. “Try to put it out of your mind. I know it’s gonna be hard but you have to. I don’t think we should mention this to Ray. He and Christa are dealing with all of this right now.”
Gerard nodded, “Yeah, okay.” When we were almost to the airport he spoke again.
“Laura”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bastard to you.”
I waited until he parked the car before I answered. “I understand why you’ve acted like you did. You have spent all these years punishing, no, torturing yourself. Your pain spilled out onto others. When we first met you infuriated me but I stayed because the voice in my head told me you acted the way you did out of pain. I wanted to help you because I had fallen in love with the man I caught a fleeting glimpse of every now and then. It’s gonna be okay.”
He shut off the car and turned to take me in his arms. “You’re my savior.” He whispered. “But why can’t this just be over?”
“It will be. No come on. Don’t let Ray see you looking like this. I know for a fact what a good actor you can be. We don’t say anything to Ray, agreed?”
He nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Tour starts up again tomorrow night. I’ll put this out of my mind. I have to.”
We entered the airport and spotted Ray. We were both surprised to see Christa standing next to him holding his hand.
“Laura” she greeted me with a hug.
“I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” I said.
She looked up at Ray. “Actually I’m going with you guys.”
Ray put his arm around her. “Christa’s not leaving my side.” His tone was steadfast. His eyes met Gerard’s and I knew they were communicating without words. I held Gerard’s secret and now Christa held Ray’s.

It wasn’t until we were back on the tour bus that I got a chance to talk to Christa alone. The guys were involved in a hot and heavy game of Warcraft.
“Thank you. I know you had something to do with Ray telling me the truth.”
I glanced over to make sure no one was listening in to our conversation. “They both needed to let the demons of the past out.”
She nodded. After a few moments she spoke again. “I know you love Gerard but are you afraid?”
I gave her a startled look. “Afraid?”
She looked down at her hands, which were folded, in her lap. “Of him?”
“Am I afraid of Gerard? Why would I be?”
She refused to look up. “Laura, what if it wasn’t a suicide?”
Holy shit, where was this coming from? “But she left a note.”
Christa looked up at me clearly confused. “What note?”
I saw Gerard look over at me and I smiled back. Once I was sure his mind was back in the game I turned to her. “Didn’t Ray tell you about the suicide note she left?”
Christa shook her head, “He never said anything about a note.”
Suddenly I felt a cold chill run down my spine. The missing piece, the thing that has been bothering me. I was about to ask her just what Ray had told her when Alicia appeared.
“Hey bitches, what’s up?” She asked happily sitting down with us.
Once more my acting abilities shined, “Not much. Same old shit. What’s new with you?”