FicWad

Tears in my eyes, and hatred filling my mind, I lunged at my sorry excuse for a brother. I know what I did was wrong, but it was a long time ago, she forgave me, why couldn’t he? I never forgave myself for lying to him, I always thought he was the better person, now I know he’s really a selfish prick. Right? It didn’t matter anymore, I kept pounding my fists into him, not caring, not thinking. I hated him. Truly and thoroughly hated. He could drop off the face of the earth, die, and I wouldn’t care. I let him go, he hadn’t fought back, which confused me, but I didn’t care. He was bleeding and broken, lying on the floor. “It was a long time ago…” I looked at Benji and she nodded. “She forgave me…I was drunk…I was upset because I fell in love with someone I couldn’t have and I did something stupid that I will NEVER forgive myself for. I love my daughter…my niece…whatever it doesn’t even matter. You can’t keep taking things from me! I said I was sorry, I stayed away! What more could you want? What more can you take?” I finished yelling and walked outside. My cell went off. I opened the phone, which opened a text message from Cade. ‘Lily is here. She’s Safe. I’m bringing her back to my sisters.’ I had talked to Cade a lot lately. She was the only one that came to me for my whole story, and I listened to her as well. Her marriage to Billy was falling apart just like my whole life seemed to be. I haven’t had feelings of anything more then friendship towards Benji since that night, and she knew that. A car pulled into the driveway and Cade got out, along with Lily.
“I talked to her…explained some things. She’s going to call you tomorrow, until then she just want’s to sleep, and be with her mother.” Cade spoke to me as Lily walked silently past and into the house.
“I beat the shit out of Gerard…other then that things went well.” I replied, answering her unasked questions.
“Look. Billy is away touring for awhile, so why don’t you stay at our place. I need the company. Maybe we can work out this whole Lily thing to.” She mumbled. There was something more but I didn’t push. She went in to talk to her sister and when she came back we both got into the car and headed back to her place.
She had a decently sized house. Then again Billy was an artist and a rock star. We both sat down on the sofa, putting in a random movie as back round noise as we talked.
“What happened?” I whispered. Billy was a touchy subject for Cade.
“We had a fight before he left this morning.” She mumbled back, I could already see tears forming in her eyes.
“What did he do?” She didn’t answer right away. Then she pulled her shirt up slightly so I could see a large bruise forming along her side. My stomach turned and my heart pounded. I wanted to find him and strangle him. That’s when I realized. I loved her. “He can’t treat you like this.”
“what am I supposed to do…I can’t leave him.”
“What if you’re sister finds out? She’ll kill him.”
“That’s why you’re not going to tell her.” She eyed me. She had made me swear, and so far I had kept my promise. “It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”
“Yes it is!” I couldn’t believe her. I stood up. “You need someone better, who can take care of you! Who loves you way more then he does!” She was crying.
“like who?” she yelled, standing up as well. I leaned in a kissed her, she didn’t refuse me. She pushed me back onto the sofa, getting on top of me, and taking off my shirt. Part of me knew she was just hurt, she was just using me. The other part wanted me to believe that she loved me like I loved her. She unbuttoned my jeans and her hand made it into my boxers, stroking, rubbing, amazing. I kissed her lips and then her cheek, making my way to her neck, biting and sucking, leaving marks that I would regret leaving later. The rest of our clothing was eventually removed. She never really looked at me. She was using me, every time I looked into her eyes they were empty.
I woke up the next morning and got dressed, Cade wasn’t downstairs so I headed upstairs to look for her. She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. I went over and lied down next to her. She smiled and took the moment to get on top of me, and kiss me again. “Cade, stop it.” I mumbled, though I really didn’t want to.
She ignored me, smirking and rubbing her hand over a certain place on my jeans.
“You’re only doing this because you hurt, not because you want to be with me.” I said, pushing her off. “I’m not going to let you use me.”
“You let me last night.” She stated. I felt sick with myself and I left. I headed to Gerard’s…I don’t know why…but something made me go there. It was a decently long walk. As I was about to knock I got another text from Cade. ‘I’m sorry.’ Was all she said. I replied with ‘I know. I love you’ I knocked on the door and a very sore looking G answered. He just stood there. I must have looked pathetic. I knew I was crying, face red and puffy. I just felt broken, lost and helpless.
“I just…I need my brother…” I don’t know what made me say it. I just needed to. He stepped aside and let me in. Lily and Benji were out, so we had time to talk.
“Talk to me.” I could tell that Benj had talked to him last night. Something was different. I felt like I had a brother again.
“I slept with Cade last night. She was upset about Billy and I just kissed her and she took it farther…but I could tell she was just hurt. She doesn’t care about me like I care about her. I left this morning…she said she was sorry. Sorry for what? Using me? Caring? Arguing this morning?” I was still crying, I felt pathetic. “It wasn’t even an argument.” I whispered.
“You need to talk to her. I don’t know what the story with Billy is but I don’t think it’s a mild situation.”
“He’s hit her, left marks, emotionally abused her. He comes home and doesn’t even realize she’s there. She deserves someone who listens and cares, and loves her.” I mumbled.
“Like you?” He asked. I didn’t reply. “Tell her exactly how you feel, let her know you could be what she needs.” This was the brother I remembered. The brother that I had missed