Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Can Feel Him Staring
Chapter 1:
I can feel him staring....again. He always does this to me when I don’t feel like trying anymore. I love him so much but it just seems like he doesn’t feel the same unless he wants something from me. Every time I break down and give him what he wants he leaves me alone and doesn’t contact me for ages it feels like. As soon as he wants something again then there he is. He just pops out of thin air and expects me to be okay with the kind of relationship he’s giving me. He is the only one I let do this to me. He’s always been able to get under my skin and make me want him again. What with those tattoos, thin figure, awesome ass, tanned skin, and gorgeous brown eyes....It’s all I can and can’t take. I miss him so much when he’s gone and I’m sure he knows that but he just never says anything. He always just leaves me behind.
My bands manager talked Gerard into actually doing a tour with his band and of course everyone but me agreed with it. They know how I feel and I can still remember Ray telling me.....
~Flashback~
“Dude why are we doing this again? You all know how I feel about him and now you guys wanting to tour with them is not going to help me get over him anytime soon,” I say to my fellow band mates hoping on some term that maybe they might change their minds.
“Frank listen we all do know how you feel but we got to think of what’s best for the band. Dude you just have to try and avoid him is all. Who knows maybe he’ll finally come around and actually want to be with you instead of just....well you know wanting one thing,” Ray says making me cringe at the thought of trying to avoid him.
~End Flashback~
The truth is I really don’t want to avoid him. I want to do everything but avoid him. Now that we’re all on tour together he stares at me constantly every time I walk in the room or talk to his band mates about music. I have yet to bring myself to talk to him nor he to make a move and talk to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a chicken or maybe it’s because he’s scared that I might punch him. Either way I’m not talking to him first. I’m trying my best to restrain myself from even looking at him and keeping my eyes locked on my guitar strings is giving me headache. I look up long enough to see him sitting with his “girlfriend” staring at me. I finally get up sitting my guitar down against the couch and head for the door. All the confusion and frustration I feel are building up and I need some nicotine before I finally lose my temper and take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it.
I’m so confused as to why he does this. The last time he was with me he told me that he wanted to be with me and then the next day his picture was in the paper. He was holding her hand and making an official announcement that they we’re together. I was so hurt and most of all just pissed off. I immediately called him and he told me that maybe our relationship just wouldn’t work out. I hung up. I was so pissed off that I never listened to another word from him. His e-mails were deleted and phone calls were ignored until now. Now I have no choice but to be around him, to look at him, to....love him.
I can feel him staring....again. He always does this to me when I don’t feel like trying anymore. I love him so much but it just seems like he doesn’t feel the same unless he wants something from me. Every time I break down and give him what he wants he leaves me alone and doesn’t contact me for ages it feels like. As soon as he wants something again then there he is. He just pops out of thin air and expects me to be okay with the kind of relationship he’s giving me. He is the only one I let do this to me. He’s always been able to get under my skin and make me want him again. What with those tattoos, thin figure, awesome ass, tanned skin, and gorgeous brown eyes....It’s all I can and can’t take. I miss him so much when he’s gone and I’m sure he knows that but he just never says anything. He always just leaves me behind.
My bands manager talked Gerard into actually doing a tour with his band and of course everyone but me agreed with it. They know how I feel and I can still remember Ray telling me.....
~Flashback~
“Dude why are we doing this again? You all know how I feel about him and now you guys wanting to tour with them is not going to help me get over him anytime soon,” I say to my fellow band mates hoping on some term that maybe they might change their minds.
“Frank listen we all do know how you feel but we got to think of what’s best for the band. Dude you just have to try and avoid him is all. Who knows maybe he’ll finally come around and actually want to be with you instead of just....well you know wanting one thing,” Ray says making me cringe at the thought of trying to avoid him.
~End Flashback~
The truth is I really don’t want to avoid him. I want to do everything but avoid him. Now that we’re all on tour together he stares at me constantly every time I walk in the room or talk to his band mates about music. I have yet to bring myself to talk to him nor he to make a move and talk to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a chicken or maybe it’s because he’s scared that I might punch him. Either way I’m not talking to him first. I’m trying my best to restrain myself from even looking at him and keeping my eyes locked on my guitar strings is giving me headache. I look up long enough to see him sitting with his “girlfriend” staring at me. I finally get up sitting my guitar down against the couch and head for the door. All the confusion and frustration I feel are building up and I need some nicotine before I finally lose my temper and take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it.
I’m so confused as to why he does this. The last time he was with me he told me that he wanted to be with me and then the next day his picture was in the paper. He was holding her hand and making an official announcement that they we’re together. I was so hurt and most of all just pissed off. I immediately called him and he told me that maybe our relationship just wouldn’t work out. I hung up. I was so pissed off that I never listened to another word from him. His e-mails were deleted and phone calls were ignored until now. Now I have no choice but to be around him, to look at him, to....love him.
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