Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Vampire in the Attic
The Bathroom Vampire
3 reviews"Sweetheart, you are no swimmer. You need to practice holding your breath."
0Unrated
Reviews
Vampire in the Attic
(#) xImRadx 2007-11-05
okay so I just read your whole story and I really like. Its very cute. You write well and use good use of words the only thing is you have Alot of mistakes. Weather it be worded wrong or your instead of you theres alot of them that and one other thing you use sweetheart alot and I know its a pet name but try not using it everytime he addresses Frank try frankie or babe sometimes to. Other then that I've got nothing bad to say about this story I'm just trying to help you out a bit. The sex scenes are indeed sexy lol and I hope you update real soon!
Ps: sorry if they are mistakes Im on my iphone and frank wearing panties freaks me out a bit lol.Author's response
Thank you.
I know there are mistakes. One I'll go trhough and fix, which I have for other chapters. If there any big glaring mistakes tell me.
In the story Gerard has basically renamed Frank sweetheart, but I think I'm going to change it to cupcake in future chapters. Gerard wants to eat Frank's cupcake. Hee.
I do appreciate help.
-NatividadVampire in the Attic
(#) xXHeavenHelpUsXx 2007-11-09
ok.like i read that other chapter(I was almost insane...) the first time and i was like eh.but i read it the second time and i was like...WHOA! so the second time i read it it was like super sexy.oh cool xImRadx. I'm on my phone too.I found this site and many more on my phone.So I only use proper gramar when it's REALLY nessacary(sp?) I read the next chapter, but for some reason it wouldn't let me go back after i logged in so....it was really sexy too :))))) keep updating!!!
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