Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Clandestine Lights
Spinning vindication…
I spent most of the night crying in the bathroom, until Gerard woke up. I made up another stupid lie and he put me to bed. I could feel the sheets being slowly pulled away from me. Groggily agitated I looked over to find Gerard hogging the covers. I tried pulling them away but he had them tangled around his body. I sat up in bed shaking him. “Gee! You took all the covers from me!” He smiled ignoring me; I knew he was awake. I took the oversized pillow and hit him upside the head with it. “Heidi Paramore!” I giggled. “I had no other choice.” He leaned against the headboard; his hazel eyes staring into my brown ones. He scooted closer to me then wrapped his arms around me bringing me closer to him. I could feel his breath on my ear, it gave me chills. He whispered. “I love you. I’m falling in love with you Heidi.” I panicked. In love? With me? Not knowing how to respond I kissed him softly on the mouth, he was satisfied with it. Thank god. “Would you care if I went home?” I could feel his body tense up. “Go home? Do you not like the tour?” I shook my head. “No. That’s not it at all, the tour is fine. I just left things unfinished, ya know? Plus, I need a break…” He nodded his head making it seem like he understood. “Well, I guess its fine. When are you coming back?” I smiled knowing the plan would work. “I’ll be back in a month.” he cringed. I smiled at him. “It won’t be that long and I’ll call you every night. I’ll be back when you’re on break; we will spend lots of time together when I get back.” He sighed. “Okay. I’ll miss you though.” “I’ll miss you more than you know.”
A grin spread across my face.
Going back…
Our last stop was in New Mexico, after that we headed for the airport. It was time for me to leave. We stood at gate 8; Gerard was devastated. I was devastated but for different reasons, I’m sure you know which ones. He held my face near his looking at me sternly. “Please don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you. I love you.” I felt like crying. “I won’t. Love you too.” I hugged him tightly and said my goodbyes to the band. The last one I made was to Frank of course. I couldn’t hide my emotions, I started balling when I looked at him. Both of them told me things would be the same when I got back, but a lot could change in a month. He placed his arms around my waist snuggly, I placed my arms around his neck. As we hugged he whispered in my ear. “I promise you will thank me for this. I promise things will be better. I’ll miss you to pieces; I love you Heidi Paramore.” Gerard cleared his throat nervously. I pulled away before saying I love you back, but I know he knows. I said one last goodbye to Gerard and made my way through security. I checked in my ticket and walked down the gray hall to the plane. I knew things would be different from that moment on. As we took off I held tightly onto the necklace Frank gave me.
I wish he was here.
Home…
Hours later the plane landed in Tulsa; my home. As soon as I stepped foot of the plane my confidence dropped. My guard was now…up. Nervously I strolled through the airport dreading my decision even more. I found my bags and took a seat on one of the uncomfortable steel benches. Before landing I called my brother to pick me up; I couldn’t see him anywhere. Getting angry quickly I dialed his number.
“Eric! Where the hell are you?” I yelled into the speaker. He coughed into the phone; he was smoking. I sighed. “It would be easier for you to remember things if you didn’t smoke weed!! How the hell do I get home now?” He laughed goofily. “You’re old friend said he would get you. That’s what mom told me….see, I remembered something.” I rolled my eyes. I could hear one of his dopy friends in the background Eric cracked up hysterically. “Eric, I love you. Lay off the weed.” “ Love you to Heid. I’ll quit.” I hung up knowing he was lying.
Old “friend”…
I sat on the steel bench still; I watched the chaos of the airport. My butt started to numb, I used that as an excuse to take a smoke. Before I could reach the outside someone was yelling my name.
“HEIDI! HEIDI!” It was a males voice, a very familiar voice. Swiftly I turned around to see the mystery person. As soon as my eyes fell on him I wanted to dart through the crowd away from him. He walked over confidently; he walked like a male model. His scruffy long hair fell in his face, his grey scarf swayed as he moved closer, when he pushed his hair away from his face I could see his deep blue eyes. I uttered to myself. “Julian.”
Julian must be the old friend Eric was talking about. Oh he was a friend alright, the one I lost my virginity to, the first to tell me he loved me , the first to kiss me, the first to hurt me, and I was hoping when I left that would be the last time I would see his face. He stopped in front of me, I could feel the ego pouring out of his pores. His smile said everything; I know I’m beautiful. With out saying a word he grabbed my bags, reluctantly I followed in behind him. This is the trouble I promised not to get into.
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Review&thanks for reading!!
I spent most of the night crying in the bathroom, until Gerard woke up. I made up another stupid lie and he put me to bed. I could feel the sheets being slowly pulled away from me. Groggily agitated I looked over to find Gerard hogging the covers. I tried pulling them away but he had them tangled around his body. I sat up in bed shaking him. “Gee! You took all the covers from me!” He smiled ignoring me; I knew he was awake. I took the oversized pillow and hit him upside the head with it. “Heidi Paramore!” I giggled. “I had no other choice.” He leaned against the headboard; his hazel eyes staring into my brown ones. He scooted closer to me then wrapped his arms around me bringing me closer to him. I could feel his breath on my ear, it gave me chills. He whispered. “I love you. I’m falling in love with you Heidi.” I panicked. In love? With me? Not knowing how to respond I kissed him softly on the mouth, he was satisfied with it. Thank god. “Would you care if I went home?” I could feel his body tense up. “Go home? Do you not like the tour?” I shook my head. “No. That’s not it at all, the tour is fine. I just left things unfinished, ya know? Plus, I need a break…” He nodded his head making it seem like he understood. “Well, I guess its fine. When are you coming back?” I smiled knowing the plan would work. “I’ll be back in a month.” he cringed. I smiled at him. “It won’t be that long and I’ll call you every night. I’ll be back when you’re on break; we will spend lots of time together when I get back.” He sighed. “Okay. I’ll miss you though.” “I’ll miss you more than you know.”
A grin spread across my face.
Going back…
Our last stop was in New Mexico, after that we headed for the airport. It was time for me to leave. We stood at gate 8; Gerard was devastated. I was devastated but for different reasons, I’m sure you know which ones. He held my face near his looking at me sternly. “Please don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you. I love you.” I felt like crying. “I won’t. Love you too.” I hugged him tightly and said my goodbyes to the band. The last one I made was to Frank of course. I couldn’t hide my emotions, I started balling when I looked at him. Both of them told me things would be the same when I got back, but a lot could change in a month. He placed his arms around my waist snuggly, I placed my arms around his neck. As we hugged he whispered in my ear. “I promise you will thank me for this. I promise things will be better. I’ll miss you to pieces; I love you Heidi Paramore.” Gerard cleared his throat nervously. I pulled away before saying I love you back, but I know he knows. I said one last goodbye to Gerard and made my way through security. I checked in my ticket and walked down the gray hall to the plane. I knew things would be different from that moment on. As we took off I held tightly onto the necklace Frank gave me.
I wish he was here.
Home…
Hours later the plane landed in Tulsa; my home. As soon as I stepped foot of the plane my confidence dropped. My guard was now…up. Nervously I strolled through the airport dreading my decision even more. I found my bags and took a seat on one of the uncomfortable steel benches. Before landing I called my brother to pick me up; I couldn’t see him anywhere. Getting angry quickly I dialed his number.
“Eric! Where the hell are you?” I yelled into the speaker. He coughed into the phone; he was smoking. I sighed. “It would be easier for you to remember things if you didn’t smoke weed!! How the hell do I get home now?” He laughed goofily. “You’re old friend said he would get you. That’s what mom told me….see, I remembered something.” I rolled my eyes. I could hear one of his dopy friends in the background Eric cracked up hysterically. “Eric, I love you. Lay off the weed.” “ Love you to Heid. I’ll quit.” I hung up knowing he was lying.
Old “friend”…
I sat on the steel bench still; I watched the chaos of the airport. My butt started to numb, I used that as an excuse to take a smoke. Before I could reach the outside someone was yelling my name.
“HEIDI! HEIDI!” It was a males voice, a very familiar voice. Swiftly I turned around to see the mystery person. As soon as my eyes fell on him I wanted to dart through the crowd away from him. He walked over confidently; he walked like a male model. His scruffy long hair fell in his face, his grey scarf swayed as he moved closer, when he pushed his hair away from his face I could see his deep blue eyes. I uttered to myself. “Julian.”
Julian must be the old friend Eric was talking about. Oh he was a friend alright, the one I lost my virginity to, the first to tell me he loved me , the first to kiss me, the first to hurt me, and I was hoping when I left that would be the last time I would see his face. He stopped in front of me, I could feel the ego pouring out of his pores. His smile said everything; I know I’m beautiful. With out saying a word he grabbed my bags, reluctantly I followed in behind him. This is the trouble I promised not to get into.
Want more?
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Want to know more about Julian?
Tell me!
Review&thanks for reading!!
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