Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's Not Like It Hurts That Much Anyway


by ryanrossISsove 5 reviews

this might make you feel better

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Published: 2007-11-15 - Updated: 2007-11-15 - 1467 words


Pete’s POV-

Not a day goes by, that I don’t miss him.

Not a day goes by where I don’t find myself thinking back to the moment I lost him. The EMT’s rushing around me, Ellie standing there, bawling her eyes out, breaking down, Hemingway laying down, his paws over his eyes, whining, Sisky and Gabe trying to get my body in the car, tears rushing down both of their faces, me kicking out at them, wanting nothing to do with anyone anymore. I remember being curled over his body on the ground, in hysterics. I remember I wouldn’t let them take him away from me, and I remember screaming “no.“ just like in the movies. I remember not being able to stand. I remember the confusion, and I remember Sisky and Gabe finally dragging me into a car, and I remember how all four of us cried in the back of some car, and I remember that everyone tired their hardest to stop crying to comfort me. I remember they couldn’t do it. I remember I lost my voice from crying and screaming. I remember that Gabe held me close, and rocked me in his arms, and hushed my crying, even though he was crying, too.

They never caught the basterd who shot him. They say it was an attempted robbery, or something. I swear, if I ever find myself face to face with the dick face, I’d probably skin him, then cut his limbs and head off with a butter knife.

I kind of want revenge. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.

William didn’t deserve this. And I never deserved him.

Not a day goes by that I don’t regret going with him to get his hoodie. I would have taken four hundred bullets for him. I would have jumped right in front of the gun.

Then maybe I’d be the one dead, and he’d still be here. I’d take his place in a heartbeat.

Not a day goes by that I don’t regret not telling him sooner, and not a day goes by that I can’t believe that all that time the feelings were the same. That he went through the same pain I did, and that if he had just had the courage that I could never build, we would have been together, and I would have lent him my sweatshirt, and he’d still be here.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about that funeral, either.

Sad eyes where almost like a trend, and everyone, even the Beckett family, felt the most sympathy towards me.

And when I stood up, and read what I had wrote for him, everyone was crying, and everyone was clapping. It was long, but surprisingly, no one fell asleep.
Everyone knows, now. Everyone knows that I love William Beckett, and that he loves me. Everyone knows we’re lovers. I love him. I always will.

Me and Ellie have been seeing some shrinks, they’re really helping her, but they’re just a waste of time, in my eyes.

I’ve let him go, for the most part. I know he’s in a great place, and I know he’s with me.

I can feel him in the wind, or in the silence.

I can hear him from time to time, just singing, too. (no, not on any kind of CD) I know he’ll always be close; always be around.

And hey?

Who knew that the Butcher had an amazing voice? Well, upon hearing it, he was appointed new lead singer, and TAI is still to this day, an amazing band, playing every song at every show, and making every album, in memory of William.

I’m not going to stay in my house, and mourn much longer, now. I’m not going to be devastated forever.

I intend on making William’s last wishes the truth, I intend on it with my life.

Thinking about all this, I turned the key, and unlocked my door, after parking the car on the dirt road.

I got out, and closed the door, shoving my hands in my pockets, and walking through the lines and lines of gravestones.

“Ah, there you are.” I said out loud, coming to Bill’s.

I stood in front of it, and read the words for the thousandth time at least.




I sighed, not enough could have been written on this if I had chosen. I was choking tears back, again.

“I’m sorry bud, you know how hard it is to maintain composure around here…” I said, laughing a little, and wiping tears.

I looked down at the hundreds of flowers, pictures, stuffed animals, and other things left by fans, friends and family, and smiled. Everyone cared a great deal about him.

I closed my eyes, and breathed in the cool, refreshing breeze that rustled my hair.

“I miss you.” I whispered, looking down at the medium sized, black marble stone.

I smiled, knowing that he was there, and it wasn’t just that he was six feet underneath me, he was there in spirit, too.

The wind whisked through my body again, and I laughed at the sensational feeling I felt.

“I love you, too.” I said, looking up now, at the swirly clouds.

I shook my head in acceptance once I was sure I was fine, and turned on one foot.

As I began walk away I stopped, as I was sure I was hearing someone familiar singing in the distance, the wind carried the sounds, and made it faint, but as it whirled past my head with the wind, I swore I heard someone singing, just one line, of a very familiar song.

You have been followed, back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink… fluttered through the air.

I smiled, not that whole song applied, though. Everything we had, is still there, strong. So strong.

I'll be with you wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.

I guess I’ll never kill another fly in my lifetime, psht.
I smiled, and opened my mouth to speak.

“You can do better, Bill. Flies are nothing but trouble.” I found myself whispering, with a chuckle.

The voice sung again, it was faint, but I heard.

Is this the way to carry on? it sang, over and over again.

I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, flies it is, Beckett.” I said, chuckling afterward, and walking off to my car, to do just that.

To carry on.

I know; you ALL hate me.
Yes, that’s really what happens. It wasn’t a dream, and no, I’m probably not going to write a sequel. I absolutely love the way it came out. It fits. It’s like a movie.


Have you ever seen “a walk to remember”?
Good movie. I wouldn’t change the ending.
I just hope you all understand why I chose to kill William. That’s what I’ve planned to do from the very beginning, because I love making people emotional, and I’d like my writing to have an impact on people. I hope it did, and I hope none of you are crying; or at least crying to hard. Heheeheh…
Just to make you feel happier, Pete’s going to live a wonderful life, and then he‘s going to die, and he’s going to find William in heaven, and there going to be together forever. =)
Every time I re-read this last chapter, I feel extremely somber for the rest of the day.
I know it’s extremely empowering, and extremely sad, but I wanted to write a story that’ll impact you, as I’ve already stated.
When you read stories like these, just remember; the real William is still alive. :D
And the real Pete loves him very much.

K, I wanna ask you:
Just for something for you to do, wanna go through the whole story and count how many times I used the title in the context? K, you can leave in a review.
Oh, and also, I’m making like one or two video tributes to this story, and I’ll post them on my profile when they’re done, but I’m really sad this story is over, I’m so proud on how it did, and how it came out, and I want to just make something in honor of it’s success. I loved it. I hope you did too. Even the end. =[
Peace kids.
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