Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Clandestine Lights
The old crowd…
We pulled into the crowded driveway I could hear the music thumping from inside. I followed in behind Julian as he walked to the porch. He turned to me. “I have a key-they won’t hear us over the music.” As soon as the door opened the aroma of marijuana and alcohol was thick in the air. I looked over at Julian. “Why did I come with you again?” He grabbed my hand. “It will be like old times.” Before I could take my hand away he had pulled me along with him to the living room. There were people sitting everywhere with bongs and pipes at hand. People looked over at us with blood shot eyes. A tall lanky guy with short black hair walked over to us. I could tell by the smile on his face he was happy to see Julian…or me.
“Hey! I’m glad you showed up.” Julian stuck his hand out shaking his. He quickly gave me the look over. “Who’s this?” A nasty grin spread across his face, I glared at him. He didn’t notice, he just kept smiling. “This is Heidi- the one who’s with that Gerard.” The light bulb came on. “OH! Heidi?!” He obviously thought he knew me, I looked at him confused. “You are…?”
He laughed. “It’s me Tim!” I looked at him closely; it is Tim. I could tell it was him by the tattoo on his neck and the gauges. “Oh! Timothy, you look so different.” Probably because it looked like he lost 50 pounds since I left and the glazed over look in his eyes. Something caught his eye, I followed his gaze to Julian’s pocket. There was a small baggy tucked in his pocket with a white powdery substance. “Lets do some lines.” Timothy practically foamed at the mouth; Julian let go of my hand and took out the baggy. They sat Indian style on the rug, Tim pulled out a credit card and a mirror. I watched in horror; I thought he stopped this. I asked him to never touch it again.
Wasted…
I spent the rest of the night drinking; that was the old way I use to handle it. I sat around laughing with people I didn’t know, I even smoked, and I felt horrible. Well, not then but I knew I would later. Walking around the crowded house I searched for Julian, when I found him he was all over some girl and obviously high. Cocaine…
Tears streamed down my face, I hated this. I charged over to where they were, I grabbed Julian off of her. I looked him the eye. “Stop it!” He laughed in my face. “Stop what? This?” He went back to kissing the girl, I pulled him away again. “Please!” I begged him. “What? Tell me what I am doing!” I cried even more. “When I left you promised you wouldn’t touch the blow anymore! I said if you really loved me you would stop!” He stepped closer to me. “Make me stop.”
I backed away from him. “I tried! Did you just bring me here to get back at me?”
“I sure did.” I cringed at his response. “Why can’t you get it through your head; I’m not in love with you! I never was…” He charged at me grabbing a hold of my wrists. “I hate you!” I yelled in his face.
he gripped tighter then dragged me outside. I tried pushing him off but he wouldn’t budge.
He stopped in the middle of the driveway then threw against the garage door. I tried to get back up but he slapped me back down. I laid there with my eyes closed tightly, I waited for another blow. I sat up against the garage, looking down at my shirt it was covered in my blood. I looked up at him with begging eyes; I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, it was the cocaine making him act like this. He hit me again over and over. I let him do it because I knew there was nothing I could do. Finally I spoke. “Stop. Please stop, I think you’ve done enough” It’s all I could muster out. He stopped. After that I blacked out.
Cold machines and hospital beds…
I could hear the beeping, I tried hard to focus on the sound so I could come back to the surface. As I focused on the beeping other sounds started to emerge, I could hear voices. I inhaled sharply then my eyes shot open. When I looked around all I saw was white; Am I dead?
I turned my head and saw Heather and my parents sleep, obviously I wasn’t dead. I had been looking at the ceiling; Just as I tried to sit up someone walked in the room.
“No!” What looked like a doctor rushed over to me gently pushing me back against the bed. They must have heard him because they all woke up. Heather shot up out of her chair to my side.
“Heidi! We’ve been waiting for you to wake up, thank God!” she kissed my forehead. I didn’t have much of a clue as to what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good.
My parents walked over to the bed; I looked into my mother’s brown eyes. You would I would find sadness, but no; all I found was anger. She shook her head slowly. “How could you do this to yourself? Why didn’t you help him get better?” My father stood by her side, holding her back.
I looked at Heather. “What happened?”
“Julian assaulted you last night.”
“Why?” I asked.
“He was coked out, that’s why.” she looked away.
My thoughts raced, I tried to remember last night. Images came together, I started to remember what happened. How could my parents be made at me? It wasn’t my fault.
“Maybe if you guys would have been home to see me I wouldn’t have gone with him.” My father shot me a look of warning. The doctor cleared his throat, everyone turned in his direction.
“Heidi will be okay. She has severely bruised wrists, cuts on her neck, a gash in her head, and some pretty bad bruises on her face..” He looked at his clipboard. “There are no broken bones but she was close to having a minor concussion. We will give her some prescription pain medicine, hopefully it will take the edge off.” My parents nodded, satisfied with his words. Heather looked down at me with sympathy in her face. “Things will be okay, I’ll take care you.”
“It’s fine. I’ll take care of myself….I always do.”
The doctor walked over to me. “You have visitors. I will tell them to come in, only if you want them too.” I smiled. “Of course.”
A few minutes later the whole band filed in the room including Alicia. My parents looked at them in disgust; as always. Gerard rushed to my side. “Are you okay??”
I grasped him in a hug, I took in his scent. “I’m fine. Sorry, it’s only been a couple of days since I left an I’m already in trouble.” He pulled away then looked at me. “Don’t be sorry, I shouldn’t have let you go. I should have came with you.” he grasped me in another hug.
Everyone hugged me and had encouraging words to say, then I noticed Frank wasn’t in the room.
“Where is Frank?” I asked Alicia , worried. “He’s still in the waiting room, he’s really torn up about this. He thinks its his fault.” I laid back against the bed. “Oh.”
I had a feeling my relationship with Frank wasn’t going to work out. Now that I’m hurt Gerard will be at my side every waking moment.
Maybe that’s a good thing…
___________________________________________
Bad?
Good?
Keep writing?
Tell me!
Thanks for reading! Please review.
We pulled into the crowded driveway I could hear the music thumping from inside. I followed in behind Julian as he walked to the porch. He turned to me. “I have a key-they won’t hear us over the music.” As soon as the door opened the aroma of marijuana and alcohol was thick in the air. I looked over at Julian. “Why did I come with you again?” He grabbed my hand. “It will be like old times.” Before I could take my hand away he had pulled me along with him to the living room. There were people sitting everywhere with bongs and pipes at hand. People looked over at us with blood shot eyes. A tall lanky guy with short black hair walked over to us. I could tell by the smile on his face he was happy to see Julian…or me.
“Hey! I’m glad you showed up.” Julian stuck his hand out shaking his. He quickly gave me the look over. “Who’s this?” A nasty grin spread across his face, I glared at him. He didn’t notice, he just kept smiling. “This is Heidi- the one who’s with that Gerard.” The light bulb came on. “OH! Heidi?!” He obviously thought he knew me, I looked at him confused. “You are…?”
He laughed. “It’s me Tim!” I looked at him closely; it is Tim. I could tell it was him by the tattoo on his neck and the gauges. “Oh! Timothy, you look so different.” Probably because it looked like he lost 50 pounds since I left and the glazed over look in his eyes. Something caught his eye, I followed his gaze to Julian’s pocket. There was a small baggy tucked in his pocket with a white powdery substance. “Lets do some lines.” Timothy practically foamed at the mouth; Julian let go of my hand and took out the baggy. They sat Indian style on the rug, Tim pulled out a credit card and a mirror. I watched in horror; I thought he stopped this. I asked him to never touch it again.
Wasted…
I spent the rest of the night drinking; that was the old way I use to handle it. I sat around laughing with people I didn’t know, I even smoked, and I felt horrible. Well, not then but I knew I would later. Walking around the crowded house I searched for Julian, when I found him he was all over some girl and obviously high. Cocaine…
Tears streamed down my face, I hated this. I charged over to where they were, I grabbed Julian off of her. I looked him the eye. “Stop it!” He laughed in my face. “Stop what? This?” He went back to kissing the girl, I pulled him away again. “Please!” I begged him. “What? Tell me what I am doing!” I cried even more. “When I left you promised you wouldn’t touch the blow anymore! I said if you really loved me you would stop!” He stepped closer to me. “Make me stop.”
I backed away from him. “I tried! Did you just bring me here to get back at me?”
“I sure did.” I cringed at his response. “Why can’t you get it through your head; I’m not in love with you! I never was…” He charged at me grabbing a hold of my wrists. “I hate you!” I yelled in his face.
he gripped tighter then dragged me outside. I tried pushing him off but he wouldn’t budge.
He stopped in the middle of the driveway then threw against the garage door. I tried to get back up but he slapped me back down. I laid there with my eyes closed tightly, I waited for another blow. I sat up against the garage, looking down at my shirt it was covered in my blood. I looked up at him with begging eyes; I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, it was the cocaine making him act like this. He hit me again over and over. I let him do it because I knew there was nothing I could do. Finally I spoke. “Stop. Please stop, I think you’ve done enough” It’s all I could muster out. He stopped. After that I blacked out.
Cold machines and hospital beds…
I could hear the beeping, I tried hard to focus on the sound so I could come back to the surface. As I focused on the beeping other sounds started to emerge, I could hear voices. I inhaled sharply then my eyes shot open. When I looked around all I saw was white; Am I dead?
I turned my head and saw Heather and my parents sleep, obviously I wasn’t dead. I had been looking at the ceiling; Just as I tried to sit up someone walked in the room.
“No!” What looked like a doctor rushed over to me gently pushing me back against the bed. They must have heard him because they all woke up. Heather shot up out of her chair to my side.
“Heidi! We’ve been waiting for you to wake up, thank God!” she kissed my forehead. I didn’t have much of a clue as to what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good.
My parents walked over to the bed; I looked into my mother’s brown eyes. You would I would find sadness, but no; all I found was anger. She shook her head slowly. “How could you do this to yourself? Why didn’t you help him get better?” My father stood by her side, holding her back.
I looked at Heather. “What happened?”
“Julian assaulted you last night.”
“Why?” I asked.
“He was coked out, that’s why.” she looked away.
My thoughts raced, I tried to remember last night. Images came together, I started to remember what happened. How could my parents be made at me? It wasn’t my fault.
“Maybe if you guys would have been home to see me I wouldn’t have gone with him.” My father shot me a look of warning. The doctor cleared his throat, everyone turned in his direction.
“Heidi will be okay. She has severely bruised wrists, cuts on her neck, a gash in her head, and some pretty bad bruises on her face..” He looked at his clipboard. “There are no broken bones but she was close to having a minor concussion. We will give her some prescription pain medicine, hopefully it will take the edge off.” My parents nodded, satisfied with his words. Heather looked down at me with sympathy in her face. “Things will be okay, I’ll take care you.”
“It’s fine. I’ll take care of myself….I always do.”
The doctor walked over to me. “You have visitors. I will tell them to come in, only if you want them too.” I smiled. “Of course.”
A few minutes later the whole band filed in the room including Alicia. My parents looked at them in disgust; as always. Gerard rushed to my side. “Are you okay??”
I grasped him in a hug, I took in his scent. “I’m fine. Sorry, it’s only been a couple of days since I left an I’m already in trouble.” He pulled away then looked at me. “Don’t be sorry, I shouldn’t have let you go. I should have came with you.” he grasped me in another hug.
Everyone hugged me and had encouraging words to say, then I noticed Frank wasn’t in the room.
“Where is Frank?” I asked Alicia , worried. “He’s still in the waiting room, he’s really torn up about this. He thinks its his fault.” I laid back against the bed. “Oh.”
I had a feeling my relationship with Frank wasn’t going to work out. Now that I’m hurt Gerard will be at my side every waking moment.
Maybe that’s a good thing…
___________________________________________
Bad?
Good?
Keep writing?
Tell me!
Thanks for reading! Please review.
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