FicWad

I wake up to the beautiful sound of my Sidekick beeping for easily the thousandth time, indicating that my ex girlfriend still can’t accept what she now is. Rejected. Hemmy seemed to have had a busy afternoon with sauce splattered all over his side of the couch. I grin. I’ll probably have to clean that later. Hemmingway is stretched out over my chest so I don’t see moving as much of an option. Unfortunately for him, I suddenly have a terrible urge to go leak the lizard. Lifting him gently off of me, he whimpers quietly until I place him back on the couch. Scooping up my cell I head to the bathroom. Flicking through the sea of texts from the lovely Ash, I read them aloud to my sleeping pooch.

‘I dnt ned u Pet Wntz’ I laugh so hard my chest hurts, ‘You hear that Hemmy? She doesn’t ned me. Hey… Since when was I her Pet?’

I shake my head.

‘Ur dn in dis town bbe’ I delete each message as I read them, ‘I think that either means... I’m done in this town or... I’m down in distown. God… Recon I should have left her earlier?’

Hemmy barks, meaning he agrees. Hemmy’s right. I’m surprised we lasted this long to be honest. I never loved her. It was a lust thing. It always seems like a lust thing. Actually, come to think of it. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Relationships were always a temporary state. I could never see me growing old with any of my ex girlfriends. Maybe I’m a commitmentphobe. I hope not. I can see myself married and with kids but when I look at my wife her face is always a blank. Well, for now, at least I got Hemmy.

Throwing my Sidekick onto my bed I decide to get dressed. Okay, so it’s quarter to two in the morning but I feel like some coffee and thanks to Ash, who believes ‘Coffee is bad for my aura’, I don’t have any in the apartment. I throw on some skinny fit jeans, a studded belt, a black skinny fit t and a band hoodie. What? You didn’t think I always wore suits did you? Sure, I’m work orientated but I’m not that old. I even put on a small amount of eyeliner. It works for me. I slip on my converses and tie them tight. Saying goodbye to Hemmy, I grab my keys and go downstairs, taking the elevator cause I’m lazy, and jump in my car.

Reaching some random, middle of nowhere store just on the outskirts of where I work, I get out my wallet and go searching for coffee. I smile, getting to the coffee aisle, my eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas. So many different kinds. Like a caffeine addict’s wet dream. Snatching all the jars I can I waltz merrily to the counter, just to be stared at by some punk who’s going to serve me. He’s looking at me like I’ve got two heads. I read his nametag. Hi, My Name Is Joe. Well, hello Joe. Quit gawking and serve me dammit!

‘Hey,’ He says, not taking his eyes off of me, ‘That all?’

‘Uh yeah.’ I pull out my wallet and flick through my cash, ‘How much man?’

‘Uh…’ Joe is still staring at me in awe

I shake my head. It’s late. I’m tired. My patients wears thin.

‘Look...’ I begin, scratching my head, ‘Uhh... I don’t mean to sound dumb, though I probably will anyway…But… Why do you keep looking at me funny?’

I then remember that I am in fact buying like ten jars of different coffees and I don’t think I brushed my hair before I left but the answer he gives seriously catches me off guard.

‘Do you know Patrick?’ Joe asks, with a gentle lisp. ‘He was telling me about some coffee addict with cool hair who talked to him today… I was wondering if… That was you’

I blink for a few seconds, unable to answer. I’d almost forgot about Patrick. That busker kid with the angel voice. The one who manage to cheer me up earlier. He… thinks I have cool hair? Anyway, that’s besides the point. He told people about me. I didn’t even think he’d remember me really.

‘Uh… Yeah…’ I choke out, still a little stunned, ‘I was going to talk to him earlier at least…’

‘Yeah, he told me you got called away’ Joe nodded, then his head shook a little, as if he’d just been pulled out of a trance, ‘Sorry… That’s twelve dollars sixty please’

‘Oh... Okay’ I hand him the money and he bags my coffee for me.

I thank him and go to leave but then stop and turn by the automatic doors.

‘Hey…’ I call to Joe

‘Yeah?’ He replies, playing with his scanner… thingy…

‘He gonna be around tomorrow?’ I pose the question, fingers crossed internally

‘Yeah, I think so…’ Joe replies casually, pausing to think, ‘I’ll tell him you asked’

‘Oh cool…’ I clench my bag tightly, ‘Bye Joe’

‘Hey wait…’ He shouts

‘What?’ I answer

‘It’s Pete right?’ He asks, making me nod, ‘Good… Just so I know… Future reference… Bye Pete’

‘Later dude’ I yell, leaving and going back home, my fingers shaking on the wheel from, what I tell myself is, lack of caffeine.

Getting in, I head straight for my coffee pot and fill it up.

‘Hurray!’ I shout, making Hemmy start in his sleep and fall on the floor. ‘Sorry Hem… I’m kinda excited’

Pouring myself a cup my body buzzes in anticipation. Just before I can take a sip of my liquid sex my Sidekick rings. I practically scream, causing Hemmy to jump again and run over to answer it. Snatching it from the bed I see that Ash is calling. Okay, now I was sick of her. Pressing call accept I put the cell to my ear.

‘What now?’ I hiss, disdain pouring off of my tongue

‘I want my stuff back Wentz’ She screeches, meaning I have to hold the phone a good distance away from my ear to avoid deafness.

‘It’s Three A.M!’ I yell, ‘Get bent’

‘I expect my stuff to be outside your apartment tomorrow morning at exactly nine o’ clock or I’m calling the police’ She [Yeah... Again] screeches

‘I’ll go one better’ I spit at her, ‘To save you coming all the way up to the apartment, you’ll find your stuff outside the building, bottom floor, directly below my apartment window’

I hang up on her and switch my phone off. I just can’t be bothered anymore. I couldn’t care less what she does. She’s all talk and no action. She can have her shitty ass stuff back. Nothing interesting there anyway… Actually… Thinking about it… She has some nice jeans.

Chuckling manically I start pulling clothes from her side of the wardrobe. Anything pink and any skirts, she can have back. Her red hoodie? Now my red hoodie. Her black skinny fit jeans? Now my black skinny fit jeans. Her black converses? Hey… Those were mine to begin with! That bitch! How long has she been stealing my clothes? All her shoes, she can have back. As I mentioned earlier, she has freakishly small feet. Throwing all of her useless crap into a black bin liner, I clear the entire half of the wardrobe. Putting the hoodies and jeans back among my own clothes of course, they look better on me anyway.

Luckily, she was just now beginning to move in with me so her shit wasn’t completely cluttering my place up, though her make-up was all over my desk. Stealing her eyeliners, I throw the rest into the sack. Satisfied that everything even vaguely related to her is now in the disposable bag, I get this satisfying feeling of relief when I drop it out of the window. It lands with a gentle thud on top of a dumpster at the bottom.

Sinking into my couch next to Hemmy once more, coffee mug in hand, I take a long awaited sip and let out a contented sigh.

‘Just us now Hemmy’ I smile, petting him, causing him to emit happy little noises like I had.

Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little empty inside. Not that this was any different than usual. Even when I was with Ash, I still had this bad, hollow feeling. Something missing. I go into my room and pull out a small, brown pill bottle from under my pillow. Taking one out and swallowing it down with my coffee I exhale slowly. I should be happy. I should feel free. So why do I feel so trapped? Like my life is moving without me.

My job, for example, was excruciatingly frustrating. I work for ‘A’Tude’. A magazine. My job is to collect stories about these has-been, self obsessed celebrities that everyone wants to be like. Everyday, I’d have to interview these pompous, up themselves scumbags who care more about money than about real people. Okay, so it pays well. To be honest, having money makes things easier but, this sounds so stupid, I’m lonely. The only reason I got this boring job was because of Ash. Ash is some pop star or something and she got me this job so I could give her good press. Her daddy owns the company.
Thinking about it, maybe arguing with her was not a good move. She basically holds my entire career in her hands and now I’ve pissed her off. She’ll whine to daddy and I’ll get let go. Shit.

This would be a good time to repeat the mantra my therapist taught me. Things can only get better. Things can only get better.